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My dog stopped digging after i told him he's just gonna end up in china.
true
'dirty dancing' was a safe-abortion champion wrapped in a rom-com bow
false
What do you call a slutty clown? the town unicycle.
true
Why did the energizer bunny go to prison? he was charged with battery.
true
What does a chinese restaurant serve for easter? coloured eggrolls!
true
Tomorrow is erection day for all the asian-americans.
true
What is hairy and between your grandma's nipples? her vagina
true
I was in the shower when i had a miscarriage. worst baby shower ever.
true
Food safety: 5 things in your kitchen that could make you sick
false
Favorite all time cooking shows: 1. iron chef 2. hell's kitchen 3. breaking bad
true
Dijon vu the feeling you've eaten this mustard before.
true
If you're ugly, you cant say single and loving it cuz you really have no choice.
true
The seahawks are going to the super bowl!
false
I've been waking up with a headache for years unfortunately i'm married to it.
true
What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend? they wipe, flush, and wash their hands
true
Kristen stewart wears a bra-top on the red carpet (photos, poll)
false
It is possible to fix your credit in two months
false
Patton oswalt: daniel tosh criticism can be 'dangerous'
false
What do you get if king kong sits on your piano? a flat note.
true
Terry mcauliffe defends hillary clinton's 'dead broke' comment
false
How's that hope and change working out for me? just fine, thanks.
false
A blind man walks into a bar... ... a table, and a chair.
true
Yes, you can cancel cable and still keep hbo
false
These impressive kid fashion designers will blow you away
false
What's the most eco friendly subreddit? /r/jokes because over 90% is recycled garbage.
true
Gun violence and women: moving beyond the headlines
false
Baby wallaby kicks well-meaning kayaker in the head during sea rescue
false
What is the one thing you don't want to hear during sex? honey, i'm home!
true
Cpac attendees' inappropriate behavior prompts apology from convention center
false
Q: what goes krab krab krab? - a: a dog barking in a mirror.
true
How to deal with wedding guests who don't rsvp on time
false
Cinefantastique's here's what's going on: the man behind despicable me 2's minions
false
What kind of cake is even worse than fruitcake? bukkake.
true
Top gop lawmaker: 'i wish democrats would help' look into russian election meddling
false
What did lewis and clark only have one sack of on their expedition? jawea
true
Obama hangs with the golden state warriors at the white house
false
Lebron got video of the world cup final pitch invader
false
Holiday decorations: little tips to make your home festive and bright
false
'harry potter and the cursed child' is officially coming to broadway next spring
false
Wang jun, artist, spends one month on a scale to lose weight
false
A priest walks into a bar.. he looks around and leaves disappointed. everyone is over 18.
true
Maymo the beagle can't find the biscuits under the bucket
false
Another entry in the files of 'jennifer lopez is better at dubsmash than you'
false
America's most affordable housing markets: 24/7 wall st.
false
Blended family friday: meet amy and eric's family
false
The lexington new york city -- old new york meets new new york
false
How many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? you weren't there man!! - shorty
true
What aspect of the game do women soccer players like most? getting that good d
true
What do you call a slutty a gun? a fl-uzi
true
Paul wallich, vermont dad, builds helicopter drone to follow his son to the bus stop
false
North korea warns of 'super-mighty preemptive strike' as u.s. weighs next move
false
Exploring a new city? here are four reasons to hit the dog park
false
'a wrinkle in time' has a grand imagination, but it can't quite put it to good use
false
I prepared the chicken earlier. i said, listen, there's no easy way to say this...
true
Chris brown's new song to include gay-friendly message in connection with singer's 'unity campaign'
false
'real housewives' divorce: adrienne maloof and paul nassif resolve divorce
false
Legally blind single mother living on $21,000 is just grateful to finally have a turkey this year
false
What do the sixth sense and titanic have in common? icy dead people.
true
When you ask your waiter for an extra pickle, don't wink. it can easily be misinterpreted.
true
I've been doing home repairs. since i started using black caulk, i haven't gone back.
true
I like my internet like i dislike my women. not going down on me.
true
Kendrick lamar, tde crew release short documentary chronicling concerts and rappers' beginnings
false
Hunter spanjer, 3-year-old deaf boy, told by preschool to change way he signs his name (video)
false
Why were the native americans here first... ...because they had reservations.
true
What do you call a dentist gunfighter? clean teathstwood.
true
What did obi-wan kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store? only a sith deals in absolut.
true
How our reality show president is changing the way politics and culture mix
false
An open letter to attorney general jeff sessions, from a fellow alabamian
false
Why did the m&m 's go to college? because they wanted to be smarties.
true
This gay erotica is helping j.k. rowling laugh about brexit's 'terrible mess'
false
Watch highlights from the last gop debate before iowa
false
The bottle said to apply liberally so i bitched and complained the whole time i used it.
true
?when the moon hits your eye? you'll be killed. it's massive.
true
What was so great about being a black jew? they already thought you were burnt
true
Style tips from virgin atlantic's runway magazine (photos)
false
These scones are so good, you'll wish you were british
false
Why did adele leave the house? so she could say hello from the outside.
true
Words hurt the other day an n-word hit me over the head with a tire iron.
true
How do you know when your best friend is gay? his dick tastes like shit.
true
Why don't they let whales into strip clubs? they tend to humpback.
true
College basketball coaches, adidas exec charged in kickback scheme
false
What do you call a heavy toilet? el ton john.
true
What did donald trump say to the guy who immolated himself in front of trump tower? you're fired!
true
Your selfie would be way better if you weren't in it.
true
It's been 300 days since the al jazeera journalists were jailed in egypt
false
What is the difference between me and my couch? my couch pulls outs
true
Up votes are a bit like my sex life. it doesn't happen.
true
Defiant donald trump vows he will 'never' drop out of the race
false
Watch: woman allegedly posed as sheriff, rammed other car in road rage
false
I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are.
true
Heard this one at the bar last night: women are good for 70 things... making sandwiches and 69.
true
Ending wildlife trafficking will help the fight against terrorism
false
The top three healthy holiday eating tips (video)
false
I once had a small part in a porn movie. it was cold that day.
true
Anyone else able to tie rope using telekinesis? thought knot.
true
To get to the other side why did the time traveler cross the road?
true
My wife was shocked when she found out i switched her vibrator with a taser.
true
Earhart plane debris may have been found on ocean floor
false
Never underestimate a woman's ability to make anything your fault.
true
What's the difference between a chef and a gay guy? a chef doesn't stir yesterday's food.
true