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The first rule of elevator club is don't talk to other members of elevator club.
true
These mice watched a classic orson welles film for science
false
What did the police do when they wanted to interrogate mark? question mark.
true
Sorry i sprayed bug spray in your face. those fake eyelashes scared the hell out of me.
true
U.s. distaste for turkish leader erdogan may have reached 'tipping point'
false
Ryder blair, 7-month-old, waterskis like a pro (video)
false
M.l.k. day 2017: a time for principled defiance
false
Yogis celebrate the summer solstice in nyc's times square
false
Veterans day: 'war/photography' debuts at museum of fine arts houston
false
My wife says i can join your gang but i have to be home by 9.
true
I'd eat more chicken if it was branded as tuna of the land.
true
How smoothie queen jj smith created a flourishing weight loss empire
false
James corden reveals donald trump's nsfw debate doodle
false
Obama calls flint water crisis 'inexplicable and inexcusable'
false
How do bees go to school? they take the buzz
true
I once had a job circumcising elephants the pay was low, but the tips were *huge*
true
How mentorship is helping more latino men earn college degrees
false
Uk prime minister urges unity amid reports of 'hard brexit'
false
Divorce diaries: do parents on their own need a plus one?
false
Time warner to remove u.s. retirees from company health plan
false
'i need you, i don't need you': viral video is a metaphor for parenting
false
Why can't jim's make sandwiches? cause it was at my grannies, isn't it!!!
true
Demi lovato brings florida shooting survivors on stage during tour
false
It's a bird! no, its a plane! holy shit it's dave!
true
Did yo hear about the hillary special at kfc? two fat thighs and a left wing for $2.99
true
Q: did i ever tell you the story about the broken pencil? a: it had no point.
true
Fergie's headdress transports us to the far east (photos, poll)
false
Everyone has a photographic memory, some don't have film.
true
These are the real-life effects of trump's obamacare sabotage
false
Sure, the mediterranean diet is good for you. but have you tried the nordic diet?
false
What book did the rabbit take on vacation? one with a hoppy ending.
true
Rory mcilroy late to ryder cup singles match over time zone confusion (video)
false
What do you call a rich asian? *cha ching!*
true
When i was 9, i was touched by an angel. angel martinez, currently serving 16 years.
true
Kris humphries divorce from kim kardashian official nearly a year and a half after filing
false
I'm thinking of giving away my broken marionette. no strings attached
true
I'm watching so many cute animals videos i think i'm developing aww-tism.
true
Trump’s decision to keep parks open during shutdown puts politics before safety
false
Found an expired condom. oh well, still ate it anyway. hope i don't get sick!
true
Celebrities honor their moms on mother's day with sweet social media posts
false
Sean rooks, nba coach and former player, dead at 46
false
I can't imagine the difficulties of growing up with 2 gay dads double the dad jokes.
true
Here at the klingon hairdressing institute it is a good day to dye.
true
Dying man's wish to return to the forest comes true
false
Next osx version announced!!! it will be called el chapo
true
A complete stranger paid this man's $2,000 car bill, no questions asked
false
'snl' mocks just how desperate hillary clinton is to be a new yorker
false
Mike huckabee on kim davis: obey the law only 'if it's right'
false
Cheeky campaign encourages women to dump dudes who support trump
false
Friday talking points -- games the whole family can play
false
Seth rogen takes down donald trump in donald trump jr.'s dms
false
Which sports team honors the true spirit of thanksgiving? the redskins
true
What is the best contraceptive for old people? nudity
true
In my office, i tried pushing the envelope... but it's still stationery.
true
How can you tell if someone does crossfit? don't worry, they'll tell you.
true
Mek’s fake intelligence on aleppo only hinders fact-finding bodies finding the truth
false
Finding the face of depression in a mirror
false
A latino actor might be playing the lead in the 'scarface' reboot
false
Why did the brake pedal see a therapist? because it was depressed.
true
Girlfriend is on her way over. aaaaaaannd history deleted.
true
The fish's piano was making weird noises. guess it was out of tuna.
true
My neighbors are drunk & climbing up the balcony. or possibly being robbed. whatever.
true
There are three kinds of women: the intelligent, the beautiful, and the majority.
true
How'm i going to 80's montage myself out of this one?
true
Fat chicks don't get wet..... they get greasy
true
Civil rights bill top priority for lgbt voters, according to new poll
false
Always hit women with a left hook... ...because they don't deserve any rights
true
The battle for the future of transportation seems imminent
false
Well at least i don't bring up things from the past like you did last month
true
Good friends help you move. great friends help you move bodies.
true
Boss: what's your five-year goal? me: paid administrative leave.
true
This blizzard in nyc was just like my boyfriends penis lees than expected
true
I'm finally done smoking my name was legally changed yesterday.
true
Republicans’ health care revision is an ugly, cheap cover up
false
How do they practice safe sex in scotland? they brand the sheep that kick.
true
I finally found out why op never delivers!
true
Signs of the times, from the people's climate march in nyc
false
It might be a 'great time to be gay,' but grindr survey reveals discrimination fears
false
Suspected chelsea bomber allegedly attacked family in 2014
false
The best friend ever? meet a 9-year-old bracelet philanthropist
false
What do you call a turtle with a hard on? a tank!!!! pew pew pew!!
true
Take the $100 tip challenge to make someone's christmas and your own
false
Rick perry in a harrowing position as first debate nears
false
Death to shoppers? al-shabaab and the fracturing of international jihadism
false
Hey does it smell like i took a shit? ah, sulfur so good.
true
Searches of travelers' electronics should require a warrant, aclu contends
false
How digital platforms like linkedin, uber and taskrabbit are changing the on-demand economy
false
What did gb say to eu? peace out, euron eurown!
true
Where's jesus when you need him. there's only 2 fish sticks left and i've got company coming.
true
I'm an over medium comedian i don't always make yolks, but when i do, they are runny
true
Summing up my life in 5 words: 'i fail at maths'
true
What do you get when you drop your frozen waffle at the beach? a san diego
true
What do you call a mexican prostitute that doesn't charge? frijole.
true
Finding kindness: how to put compassion into action
false
What kind of footwear do whitewalkers use? the hodor-eliminating kind.
true
Turns out an obama family vacation looks much like ours
false
What did the banana say to the orange? fruit can't talk
true
Jimmy kimmel's rude interviewer proves technology is terrible
false
Obama's possible paths to a supreme court nomination
false
You can only enjoy lord of the rings if you're taking heroin... it's called high fantasy.
true