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fans shocked after marie kondo reveals she has been dating untidy cupboard for past 6 months
‘i just want a substantive, issues-oriented democratic debate,’ lie thousands of americans hungry for unhinged trainwreck
gordon ramsay berates spoon for 45 minutes
dole makes pretend white house out of card table, sheet
lindsey graham dining alone at applebee’s kind of wishes protesters would come heckle him
why westerners join isis
report: ocean levels could rise foot or more if lots of people go swimming
automated teller has more personality than human teller
guy from the strokes accused of trying to look like guy from the strokes
report: keep reading and nobody gets hurt
unfinished basement has weird feeling about way woman looking at it
at least it’s been a while since story about somebody eating somebody else, reports violence-weary nation
police uncover talk-show-guest mill in rural kentucky
aspiring elitist moves to new york
found "the onion" in uncharted 4.
nation’s rich and powerful wondering when rest of americans will just give up
officials warn consumers of counterfeit tickets ahead of solar eclipse
it kind of sweet ceo thinks he doing good job
home depot employee can tell this customer's first attempt at pipe bomb
brown workers put company in the black
melania's heart sinks after realizing husband uses pet name 'horseface' for every woman he fucks
the only way to get over your fear of the moon is to walk on it
u.n. secretary general assumes someone already doing something about uighur internment camps
federal prison system retires mcveigh's number
mike pence vows to cut conservation funding after discovering elk don't mate for life
neverland ranch investigators discover corpse of real michael jackson
middle couch cushion has clearly had harder life
unpatriotic man does not maintain erection during national anthem
relationship experts say healthy couples should be renewing their vows 3 times a week
company president started out as fertilized embryo
nation's outfoxed sheriffs shake heads, throw hats in dirt
pope died as he lived: propped up for public viewing
god provides gift to women in form of marketing analyst bradley ennis
progressive charter school doesn’t have students
crowd at trump rally realizes they’ve been chanting ‘we are frightened and helpless’ for last half hour
breaking: sprinting college student might actually have chance at getting frisbee
republicans storm national statuary hall, demand to be allowed into elijah cummings’ casket
man nods his way to the top
everything in power done to appear interesting to attractive woman on subway
mind-blowing: these 7 common household items star... | clickhole
archaeologists discover site where desperate jesus christ turned tricks
mariachi band has no idea your mother just died
family figures grandpa never talks about wwii because nothing interesting happened to him
dancing wild man strikes again, badly shaken bar-goers report
5 questions: ‘finger skateboarding lets me skate in tiny places that i never could before’: 5 questions with tony hawk
study finds first life forms migrated to earth via interplanetary land bridge
ms-13 gang leader getting some pretty great ideas from watching ice work
target of future drone attack urges american intervention in syria
'people are inherently good,' world halfheartedly mutters
8 things that only people from your state understand
being a mom was the best four years of my life!
white supremacist living fulfilling racist life since getting kicked offline
tonight's dnc program to be just 3 hours of osama bin laden's blown-off face projected onto screen
mitch mcconnell reminds senators that they'll have to make up government shutdown days at end of year
wedding experts say engagement ring should cost at least three diamond miners' lives
entirety of beat poetry audience just faking knowing what's happening
article: taking a stand: an ohio english teacher has removed all the n-words from ‘huckleberry finn’ and put them into mary shelley’s ‘frankenstein’
ghost of alvah roebuck enjoying the hell out of sears' decline
6 breathtaking images of outer space that put into perspective just how small, insignificant, and pitiful your dad is
sumerians look on in confusion as god creates world
nationwide sympathy pours in for traumatized cnn town hall survivor
nation admits it probably going to come out of this having learned completely wrong lessons
scientists finally prove what area dad has been saying for years
god admits he's way less strict with last few billion children
horatio sanz sweeps latin emmys
more bad news for democrats: ruth bader ginsburg has announced she is retiring from the supreme court to play miss hannigan in a community theater production of ‘annie’
pier 1 imports unveils new self-defense vase for smashing onto head of home invader
how to talk to your child about divorce
recently discovered 13,000-year-old footprints reveal humans danced the charleston earlier than first thought
dhs announces racial profiling free-for-all this sept. 11
creepy real estate listing really talking up size of crawlspaces
we gave this homeless man a haircut and a new wardrobe and now he really seems out of place at the shelter
breakup hints misinterpreted as marriage-proposal hints
north korea successfully detonates nuclear scientist
american people admit having facebook data stolen kind of worth it to watch that little fucker squirm
friends trying on each other's glasses revel in glorious mayhem of having slightly different prescriptions
chinese tv show canceled after drawing only 180 million viewers
retired factory worker had no idea earnings from '50s would have to support 3 generations of family
nikki haley: 'the u.s. will no longer sit idly by while iran continues to exist'
kanye west: 'i would've ridden away from a slave plantation on a motorcycle first chance i got'
apartment completely flooded with disgusting sunlight
coworkers brought to place of unthinkable intimacy by team-building exercise
obama a little creeped out by how much everyone in kenya celebrating reelection victory
new study finds humans experience greatest feelings of joy when pushing 'skip ad' button
kim jong-un panics after returning to north korea to find country's populace has escaped
bill belichick: the greatest asterisk in nfl history
area man settled for
get excited, children! it is cigarettes!
confusing roadside memorial features bicycle, rotary telephone, jug of some kind
pope francis reverses position on capitalism after seeing wide variety of american oreos
fbi warns of 'american dream' scam
bashar al-assad introduces syrian bike-sharing program
janice to register three; janice to register three
papa john’s comes under fire for cruel treatment of the bulbous, deformed creatures that lactate pizza sauce
doing the work for you: the new version of turbotax automatically calls your dad and asks him a bunch of questions
son's black market value checked online
10 cat gifs for the blind
random uncle's wife crying a bunch throughout grandma's funeral
underworld health organization launches initiative to improve incubus immortality rate
entire treasury department competing for same goldman sachs job opening