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fans shocked after marie kondo reveals she has been dating untidy cupboard for past 6 months
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‘i just want a substantive, issues-oriented democratic debate,’ lie thousands of americans hungry for unhinged trainwreck
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gordon ramsay berates spoon for 45 minutes
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dole makes pretend white house out of card table, sheet
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lindsey graham dining alone at applebee’s kind of wishes protesters would come heckle him
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why westerners join isis
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report: ocean levels could rise foot or more if lots of people go swimming
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automated teller has more personality than human teller
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guy from the strokes accused of trying to look like guy from the strokes
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report: keep reading and nobody gets hurt
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unfinished basement has weird feeling about way woman looking at it
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at least it’s been a while since story about somebody eating somebody else, reports violence-weary nation
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police uncover talk-show-guest mill in rural kentucky
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aspiring elitist moves to new york
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found "the onion" in uncharted 4.
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nation’s rich and powerful wondering when rest of americans will just give up
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officials warn consumers of counterfeit tickets ahead of solar eclipse
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it kind of sweet ceo thinks he doing good job
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home depot employee can tell this customer's first attempt at pipe bomb
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brown workers put company in the black
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melania's heart sinks after realizing husband uses pet name 'horseface' for every woman he fucks
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the only way to get over your fear of the moon is to walk on it
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u.n. secretary general assumes someone already doing something about uighur internment camps
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federal prison system retires mcveigh's number
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mike pence vows to cut conservation funding after discovering elk don't mate for life
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neverland ranch investigators discover corpse of real michael jackson
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middle couch cushion has clearly had harder life
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unpatriotic man does not maintain erection during national anthem
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relationship experts say healthy couples should be renewing their vows 3 times a week
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company president started out as fertilized embryo
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nation's outfoxed sheriffs shake heads, throw hats in dirt
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pope died as he lived: propped up for public viewing
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god provides gift to women in form of marketing analyst bradley ennis
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progressive charter school doesn’t have students
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crowd at trump rally realizes they’ve been chanting ‘we are frightened and helpless’ for last half hour
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breaking: sprinting college student might actually have chance at getting frisbee
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republicans storm national statuary hall, demand to be allowed into elijah cummings’ casket
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man nods his way to the top
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everything in power done to appear interesting to attractive woman on subway
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mind-blowing: these 7 common household items star... | clickhole
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archaeologists discover site where desperate jesus christ turned tricks
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mariachi band has no idea your mother just died
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family figures grandpa never talks about wwii because nothing interesting happened to him
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dancing wild man strikes again, badly shaken bar-goers report
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5 questions: ‘finger skateboarding lets me skate in tiny places that i never could before’: 5 questions with tony hawk
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study finds first life forms migrated to earth via interplanetary land bridge
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ms-13 gang leader getting some pretty great ideas from watching ice work
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target of future drone attack urges american intervention in syria
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'people are inherently good,' world halfheartedly mutters
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8 things that only people from your state understand
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being a mom was the best four years of my life!
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white supremacist living fulfilling racist life since getting kicked offline
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tonight's dnc program to be just 3 hours of osama bin laden's blown-off face projected onto screen
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mitch mcconnell reminds senators that they'll have to make up government shutdown days at end of year
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wedding experts say engagement ring should cost at least three diamond miners' lives
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entirety of beat poetry audience just faking knowing what's happening
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article: taking a stand: an ohio english teacher has removed all the n-words from ‘huckleberry finn’ and put them into mary shelley’s ‘frankenstein’
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ghost of alvah roebuck enjoying the hell out of sears' decline
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6 breathtaking images of outer space that put into perspective just how small, insignificant, and pitiful your dad is
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sumerians look on in confusion as god creates world
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nationwide sympathy pours in for traumatized cnn town hall survivor
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nation admits it probably going to come out of this having learned completely wrong lessons
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scientists finally prove what area dad has been saying for years
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god admits he's way less strict with last few billion children
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horatio sanz sweeps latin emmys
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more bad news for democrats: ruth bader ginsburg has announced she is retiring from the supreme court to play miss hannigan in a community theater production of ‘annie’
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pier 1 imports unveils new self-defense vase for smashing onto head of home invader
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how to talk to your child about divorce
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recently discovered 13,000-year-old footprints reveal humans danced the charleston earlier than first thought
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dhs announces racial profiling free-for-all this sept. 11
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creepy real estate listing really talking up size of crawlspaces
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we gave this homeless man a haircut and a new wardrobe and now he really seems out of place at the shelter
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breakup hints misinterpreted as marriage-proposal hints
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north korea successfully detonates nuclear scientist
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american people admit having facebook data stolen kind of worth it to watch that little fucker squirm
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friends trying on each other's glasses revel in glorious mayhem of having slightly different prescriptions
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chinese tv show canceled after drawing only 180 million viewers
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retired factory worker had no idea earnings from '50s would have to support 3 generations of family
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nikki haley: 'the u.s. will no longer sit idly by while iran continues to exist'
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kanye west: 'i would've ridden away from a slave plantation on a motorcycle first chance i got'
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apartment completely flooded with disgusting sunlight
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coworkers brought to place of unthinkable intimacy by team-building exercise
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obama a little creeped out by how much everyone in kenya celebrating reelection victory
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new study finds humans experience greatest feelings of joy when pushing 'skip ad' button
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kim jong-un panics after returning to north korea to find country's populace has escaped
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bill belichick: the greatest asterisk in nfl history
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area man settled for
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get excited, children! it is cigarettes!
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confusing roadside memorial features bicycle, rotary telephone, jug of some kind
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pope francis reverses position on capitalism after seeing wide variety of american oreos
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fbi warns of 'american dream' scam
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bashar al-assad introduces syrian bike-sharing program
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janice to register three; janice to register three
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papa john’s comes under fire for cruel treatment of the bulbous, deformed creatures that lactate pizza sauce
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doing the work for you: the new version of turbotax automatically calls your dad and asks him a bunch of questions
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son's black market value checked online
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10 cat gifs for the blind
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random uncle's wife crying a bunch throughout grandma's funeral
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underworld health organization launches initiative to improve incubus immortality rate
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entire treasury department competing for same goldman sachs job opening
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