edtechdev/chatbotfiles · Datasets at Hugging Face

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sleeping too little or too much
withdrawing or isolating themselves
showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
25

• extreme mood swings

Additional Resources
Because entering college is such a big transition, it is important to know what health services are available on
your campus. Some help may be beyond the scope of a college counseling program, and if this is the case,
your college health center can refer you to off-campus resources to support you.
Regardless of where you attend college, OK2TALK and NAMI offer online, text, and phone support.
• OK2TALK (https://ok2talk.org) is a community for young adults struggling with mental health problems. It
offers a safe place to talk.
• Call the NAMI helpline at 800-950-6264, or txt NAMI to 741741.

11.5 Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Estimated completion time: 18 minutes.
Questions to consider:
• How does self-care benefit relationships?
• Why is community so important to healthy relationships?
• What is sexual health?
Relationships are key to happy and healthy lives. According to Dr. Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard
Study of Adult Development, people with the best health outcomes were people who “leaned into
relationships, with family, with friends, with community.”

25 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/how-we-can-all-prevent-suicide/; https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-faq/
index.shtml

Access for free at openstax.org

11.5 • Maintaining Healthy Relationships

Figure 11.11 Healthy relationships involve trust, respect, and support. (Credit: Garry Knight / Flickr / Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC-BY
2.0))

The quality of our relationships is important, however. What makes a relationship healthy? Relationships come
in many forms: lovers, family, friends, coworkers, team members, and neighbors. Think of a relationship where
you have mutual respect and trust, supporting each other in tough times, celebrating the good times, and
communicating with ease and honesty. This is a healthy relationship. Do you have someone in mind? On the
other hand, if communication is often tense or strained, confidences are broken, or you don’t feel listened to,
appreciated, or valued, these are signs of an unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy relationships can have both
immediate and longer-term health impacts. If you are unhappy in a relationship, try to improve the
relationship, or end it. Do not stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons, such as fear of being alone or guilt.
If a partner tries to force you to do something sexually, harms you physically, or is verbally abusive, you are in
an unhealthy relationship. Even if you believe the person loves you, it does not make up for the harm they are
doing to you. End the relationship.
Take a moment to assess the health of your relationships. Who are the people who make you smile, who boost
your confidence, who truly listen when you need to talk, and who want only the best for you? Investing in
these relationships is likely to make you happier and healthier. Relationships are two-way streets. How
committed are you to your relationships? How much effort do you put into nurturing your relationships?

Self-Care
Healthy relationships start with healthy individuals. Self-care is learning to take good care of yourself and to
prioritize your own needs. Self-care involves any activity that nurtures and refuels you, such as taking a walk in
the woods, going to a yoga class, attending a sporting event, reading a good book, or spending time with
friends. When you are feeling calm and nourished, you are going to look forward to your day, and despite how
busy it is, you will prioritize time with friends and family. If you don’t take care of and learn to love yourself,
you will never be able to bring your best self to any relationship.
An important dynamic you bring to any relationship is how you feel about yourself. Self-esteem is about loving
yourself and being happy for who you are. Building healthy self-esteem impacts how you see yourself, which
can drastically improve your relationships. While low self-esteem won’t keep us from romantic love, it can act
as a barrier to a healthy relationship. If you do not believe you are good enough, how can you expect your
partner to think so?
When you feel secure in yourself, this allows you and your partner to feel more secure about the relationship.
If you have insecurities, it may show in your relationship as jealousy, defensiveness, or tension that leads to
unnecessary arguments. Healthy self-esteem goes hand in hand with self-confidence, and feeling confident
about yourself will translate into a stronger and more satisfying relationship. If you are experiencing low selfesteem, you may give your partner too much credit or stay in a relationship that is not healthy for you. If you

355

356

11 • Engaging in a Healthy Lifestyle

find yourself changing your personality for someone else, that is never a sign of a healthy relationship.
You can reverse negative self-talk and build your self-esteem. If you catch yourself thinking you are unlovable,
unattractive, or not good enough, it’s important to start talking to yourself in a positive way and to celebrate
all that is uniquely you.
Self-care includes self-forgiveness. We all make mistakes. A misstep isn’t the end of the world. Pick yourself up,
put things in perspective, acknowledge any lessons to be learned, focus on all that makes you special, and
move forward. Be kind to yourself.

The Importance of Community
The Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica is home to some of the highest number of centenarians (people who are
100 years old or older) in the world. Costa Ricans in general report a high level of life satisfaction. Dan
Buettner, author of the Blue Zones study of the longest living populations in the world, explains that Costa Rica
“is a place where religion, family, and social interaction are the main values, unlike trying to get ahead, or
financial security, or status. Their cities are set up so they’re bumping into each other all day long. They walk to
26
the markets, where they have conversations with people.”
In many families in Costa Rica, multiple generations live together under the same roof or nearby where they
can be involved in each other’s lives. Neighbors are like extended family, and people often stop in for a visit
and go out of their way to help one another.
While this isn’t the way many of us live in the United States, the lessons from the Blue Zone study underscore
the importance of community and the health benefits of connecting to and staying close to a community.
What communities do you belong to? Is your dorm a community? A sports team? A club or people you
volunteer with? When you start seeing the social circles you connect to as communities and prioritize your
time to develop more closeness with those communities, you will experience many physical, mental, and
emotional health benefits.

sleeping too little or too much

withdrawing or isolating themselves

showing rage or talking about seeking revenge

25

• extreme mood swings

Additional Resources

Because entering college is such a big transition, it is important to know what health services are available on

your campus. Some help may be beyond the scope of a college counseling program, and if this is the case,

your college health center can refer you to off-campus resources to support you.

Regardless of where you attend college, OK2TALK and NAMI offer online, text, and phone support.

• OK2TALK (https://ok2talk.org) is a community for young adults struggling with mental health problems. It

offers a safe place to talk.

• Call the NAMI helpline at 800-950-6264, or txt NAMI to 741741.

11.5 Maintaining Healthy Relationships

Estimated completion time: 18 minutes.

Questions to consider:

• How does self-care benefit relationships?

• Why is community so important to healthy relationships?

• What is sexual health?

Relationships are key to happy and healthy lives. According to Dr. Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard

Study of Adult Development, people with the best health outcomes were people who “leaned into

relationships, with family, with friends, with community.”

25 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/how-we-can-all-prevent-suicide/; https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-faq/

index.shtml

Access for free at openstax.org

11.5 • Maintaining Healthy Relationships

Figure 11.11 Healthy relationships involve trust, respect, and support. (Credit: Garry Knight / Flickr / Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC-BY

2.0))

The quality of our relationships is important, however. What makes a relationship healthy? Relationships come

in many forms: lovers, family, friends, coworkers, team members, and neighbors. Think of a relationship where

you have mutual respect and trust, supporting each other in tough times, celebrating the good times, and

communicating with ease and honesty. This is a healthy relationship. Do you have someone in mind? On the

other hand, if communication is often tense or strained, confidences are broken, or you don’t feel listened to,

appreciated, or valued, these are signs of an unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy relationships can have both

immediate and longer-term health impacts. If you are unhappy in a relationship, try to improve the

relationship, or end it. Do not stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons, such as fear of being alone or guilt.

If a partner tries to force you to do something sexually, harms you physically, or is verbally abusive, you are in

an unhealthy relationship. Even if you believe the person loves you, it does not make up for the harm they are

doing to you. End the relationship.

Take a moment to assess the health of your relationships. Who are the people who make you smile, who boost

your confidence, who truly listen when you need to talk, and who want only the best for you? Investing in

these relationships is likely to make you happier and healthier. Relationships are two-way streets. How

committed are you to your relationships? How much effort do you put into nurturing your relationships?

Self-Care

Healthy relationships start with healthy individuals. Self-care is learning to take good care of yourself and to

prioritize your own needs. Self-care involves any activity that nurtures and refuels you, such as taking a walk in

the woods, going to a yoga class, attending a sporting event, reading a good book, or spending time with

friends. When you are feeling calm and nourished, you are going to look forward to your day, and despite how

busy it is, you will prioritize time with friends and family. If you don’t take care of and learn to love yourself,

you will never be able to bring your best self to any relationship.

An important dynamic you bring to any relationship is how you feel about yourself. Self-esteem is about loving

yourself and being happy for who you are. Building healthy self-esteem impacts how you see yourself, which

can drastically improve your relationships. While low self-esteem won’t keep us from romantic love, it can act

as a barrier to a healthy relationship. If you do not believe you are good enough, how can you expect your

partner to think so?

When you feel secure in yourself, this allows you and your partner to feel more secure about the relationship.

If you have insecurities, it may show in your relationship as jealousy, defensiveness, or tension that leads to

unnecessary arguments. Healthy self-esteem goes hand in hand with self-confidence, and feeling confident

about yourself will translate into a stronger and more satisfying relationship. If you are experiencing low selfesteem, you may give your partner too much credit or stay in a relationship that is not healthy for you. If you

355

356

11 • Engaging in a Healthy Lifestyle

find yourself changing your personality for someone else, that is never a sign of a healthy relationship.

You can reverse negative self-talk and build your self-esteem. If you catch yourself thinking you are unlovable,

unattractive, or not good enough, it’s important to start talking to yourself in a positive way and to celebrate

all that is uniquely you.

Self-care includes self-forgiveness. We all make mistakes. A misstep isn’t the end of the world. Pick yourself up,

put things in perspective, acknowledge any lessons to be learned, focus on all that makes you special, and

move forward. Be kind to yourself.

The Importance of Community

The Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica is home to some of the highest number of centenarians (people who are

100 years old or older) in the world. Costa Ricans in general report a high level of life satisfaction. Dan

Buettner, author of the Blue Zones study of the longest living populations in the world, explains that Costa Rica

“is a place where religion, family, and social interaction are the main values, unlike trying to get ahead, or

financial security, or status. Their cities are set up so they’re bumping into each other all day long. They walk to

26

the markets, where they have conversations with people.”

In many families in Costa Rica, multiple generations live together under the same roof or nearby where they

can be involved in each other’s lives. Neighbors are like extended family, and people often stop in for a visit

and go out of their way to help one another.

While this isn’t the way many of us live in the United States, the lessons from the Blue Zone study underscore

the importance of community and the health benefits of connecting to and staying close to a community.

What communities do you belong to? Is your dorm a community? A sports team? A club or people you

volunteer with? When you start seeing the social circles you connect to as communities and prioritize your

time to develop more closeness with those communities, you will experience many physical, mental, and

emotional health benefits.