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63_53
Yes.
neutral
communication behavior
63_55
Yes.
change
communication behavior
63_57
Okay.
neutral
communication behavior
63_59
Yeah, sure.
neutral
communication behavior
64_1
Thank you.
neutral
communication behavior
64_3
Yeah, you too.
neutral
communication behavior
64_5
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_7
Yeah. Yeah. pretty straightforward-
neutral
communication behavior
64_9
-always good.
neutral
communication behavior
64_11
No. No, not at all.
neutral
communication behavior
64_13
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_15
Sure. Um, I guess, you know, maybe two or three weeks ago, I had sort of like this group of friends come around to my place, and um, you know, they-they were sort of saying that it was just like a night to hang out and watch DVDs and stuff, and then they sort of sat me down and were like, "You know, maybe you need to get a bit of help for, you know, drug stuff." Then, you know, I was sort of like, "Well, mm." And I was quite annoyed by that at first, but I-I suppose, you know, I thought about it for a bit and then I was like, "Well, I guess it can't hurt to talk to someone about it, maybe."
change
communication behavior
64_17
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_19
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_21
Yeah. I just sort of did a bit of search on the internet and stuff and just read about this place, so I just thought I'll—
change
communication behavior
64_23
Yeah, I guess. I-I suppose I hadn't really thought about it till they sat me down, and you know- I mean I could, uh, I could understand a little bit of where they were coming from, so yeah, I thought I'd—
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communication behavior
64_25
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_27
Yeah. Yeah, which kind of was a bit of a sh-shock, I suppose.
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communication behavior
64_29
Yeah. Yeah, 'cause, you know, I don't know. You know, you see on movies when people sort of intervene or say, "You know, you need to go and get help." And then-- I don't know. Like you know those characters and, they-they do need help, you know-
neutral
communication behavior
64_31
-because they're fucked.
neutral
communication behavior
64_33
And you kind of go, "Woah. That's not me." So it's about am I—
change
communication behavior
64_35
Yeah, or well, not to that extent, you know what I mean? Like, I-I would-- l didn't think I was at anywhere near a point that I would need to be sat down and intervened with-
sustain
communication behavior
64_37
-if you know what I mean.
neutral
communication behavior
64_39
I suppose.
neutral
communication behavior
64_41
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_43
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 'cause, I mean, you know, they are my friends and-
neutral
communication behavior
64_45
- you know, I'm not gonna be so narrow-minded as to say for sure that, you know, they're entirely wrong 'cause there's a big group of them, you know? And they do care, so obviously, there's something there that I might have overlooked. But on the other hand, I'm sort of like, "Well, was it that bad?" And you know, "Was that- was that really necessary?" But I, you know, I thought I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and-
change
communication behavior
64_47
-and just check it up, yep.
change
communication behavior
64_49
Yeah, pretty right.
neutral
communication behavior
64_51
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_53
Okay, cool.
neutral
communication behavior
64_55
Um, dr-drugs, I guess.
neutral
communication behavior
64_57
Mm, yeah. Sort of kind of do a bit of P now and again-
neutral
communication behavior
64_59
-and, um, I guess less often, I do a bit of, you know, I smoke a little bit and, um, party pills in the- in the weekend sometimes.
neutral
communication behavior
64_61
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_63
Um, a couple of times a week maybe.
neutral
communication behavior
64_65
Yeah, yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_67
Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah. So I guess when I put it that way, it does sound quite a lot, but it doesn't feel a lot, you know? If you know what I mean?
change
communication behavior
64_69
Right. Um, I suppose it's kind of hand-in-hand with just hanging out with, sort of, some new scene that I've-- Like, um, I moved to Auckland maybe three years ago.
neutral
communication behavior
64_71
And, um, I still live in Palmy and, so as you can imagine, it's sort of a bit different down there. And, um, kind of just when I first got here I was sorta introduced a little bit to, um, like do you know Family Bar on-on [unintelligible 00:06:49]?
neutral
communication behavior
64_73
Yeah. It's that sort of- that sorta scene, that kind of, um, gay scene, I guess. And, like, it's not something I'd really thought about before and-- But then kinda hung out there and just met these people that were sort of like you don't really get there much Palmy. Well, I mean I suppose you do, but they're not-- You know, in Auckland bars like that you can just-- Uh, you can just be it out in the open, you know, and I suppose in Palmy you can't as easily. Um, so just to arrive and see that and kind of meet these people that were just really friendly, you know, and-and not judge me into it. I don't know. You know, Palmy often is they're sort of like, "Oh, you've gotta own a car, and soap it up, and drive up and down the Main Street," and I just couldn't give a shit about that, you know, so. Or play rugby and, you know, that didn't interest me at all and sorta come here and have people, you know, talk about interesting stuff and have a good time. I just want to go out and dance and stuff like that. Um, that was quite cool for me to know that that existed because I hadn't seen that before and-and I suppose there's a lot of that that goes on there, you know?
sustain
communication behavior
64_74
It's quite a heavy party scene most weekends and stuff. So it kind of goes hand in hand with that really, and just, you know, I guess when I have-have a slight-- I don't know, you just feel really good, I guess. Just feel, like, happy, and excited, and just to be surrounded by people that, you know, really care about you, and love you and-- Coming from a place where y-you didn't-- don't get that as much, it's just really cool, you know, to-to be able to go, "Okay, on this day I can take this." And it's just that instant, like, "I know- I know I'll feel good." I guess that's part of it.
sustain
communication behavior
64_76
Yeah, in-in a way. Although I wouldn't have been conscious of that really. I just sort of discovered it here. It's not like I came to Auckland looking for that kinda-
neutral
communication behavior
64_78
-lift to get away from, um, you know parents mainly, and that kind of lifestyle, that Palmy sort of lifestyle. But then yeah, I discovered this other thing, um—
neutral
communication behavior
64_80
No.
neutral
communication behavior
64_82
No. I didn't really know. I guess you see sort of things like that in-in movies from America you know, but you don't really-
neutral
communication behavior
64_84
- think that it would exist in your own country. Well, not if you grew up in Palmy.
neutral
communication behavior
64_86
Um, I don't mean to be mean about Palmy but, you know, it's just the different kinda attitude, I guess, kinda- this done-
neutral
communication behavior
64_88
-to that sort of thing.
neutral
communication behavior
64_90
Yes-
neutral
communication behavior
64_92
-plus-
neutral
communication behavior
64_94
Yeah, yeah. I definitely wanted to get away from something. I didn't know what too, but then I arrived here and found this thing that was like actually, this was obviously, fate or whatever was pulling me to this thing-
sustain
communication behavior
64_96
-'cause-'cause like I found something in myself or something that was missing.
sustain
communication behavior
64_98
Um, now, I guess, now, I'm just a little used to it. [clears throat] When I first got here, I was like, "Wow, this is amazing." This is hard, I guess, but, you know, it's been three years now, so it's just kinda like I've gotten used to it.
neutral
communication behavior
64_100
I mean, I guess, I'm, let's say I take it for granted but, um, yes, it's just comfortable now. And, um, it's just a sort of what I do really. Yeah, so, I guess that the drugs are linked to that, I suppose. It's j-- Well, it's just a part of it, I don't really think-- I didn't really differentiate it. It's just kinda, "Okay, I'm gonna go hang with my friends," and that sort of thing, you know, that Saturday, Friday night thing. And then it just happens really as part of that.
neutral
communication behavior
64_102
Yep.
neutral
communication behavior
64_104
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_106
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_108
Yep.
neutral
communication behavior
64_110
Well, I guess, now, that I think about it, maybe it's sort of gone beyond that, maybe I didn't notice that.
change
communication behavior
64_112
I mean like I always-- Well, it's, you know it's kind of a thing that happens in the weekends but, I guess, sometimes in the weekdays. You know, I'll-I'll pretty much every weekend I'll have a big night, um, maybe two but sometimes, you know, in the weekdays like on a Tuesday or Wednesday or something if I just kinda feel like doing something then I might do that sometimes to see if someone else wants to come round and join me or, you know, occasionally by myself I might have a smoke by myself or something like that. And I guess that isn't entirely linked to that scene, I suppose.
neutral
communication behavior
64_114
Mm. Maybe. I suppose I hadn't really thought about it-
neutral
communication behavior
64_116
-until recently.
neutral
communication behavior
64_118
Yeah. I suppose just since that kind of intervention thing or I started to give them the benefit of the doubt. And it's-
neutral
communication behavior
64_120
-maybe noticing some things that I hadn't noticed but—
neutral
communication behavior
64_122
Oh, I mean, e-even just now, you know, when you asked me how often.
neutral
communication behavior
64_124
Mm. S-surprised me to-to think about, you know, when there's stuff, and you don't really think about it, but then if someone asked you, you know, how often or-- and then you kind of have to quantify it, I suppose it kinda sound shocking, you know, if I- if I imagine myself sort of saying, "I do this, you know, a few times a week." It-it-
change
communication behavior
64_126
-sounds shocking. But to me it-it's- it doesn't feel that way, you know, that's kind of where that, where it kind of doesn't sit right. I, [clears throat] that's why I kind of got a bit miffed at my friends a little bit, or I dunno, a bit defensive there. 'Cause you know, it sounds a lot, but it doesn't feel out of control or anything, you know. It doesn't feel, I dunno, people that need to go and see therapists or whatever you kind of go, "Oh, they're an addict." You know. They-- Their health is really bad and they need urgent help right now quickly, Uh, well, at least that's kind of the-the feeling you get. And I don't feel that at all. I don't feel like it's a real urgent thing. So that-
sustain
communication behavior
64_128
-felt a bit weird.
neutral
communication behavior
64_130
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_132
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_134
Definitely.
neutral
communication behavior
64_136
Yep. Um. Uh, I suppose money is quite a big thing. Like, I used to have a lot more money sorta last year. I had a, quite a good job, like a, quite a regular acting job.
change
communication behavior
64_138
Um, and it was like quite a lot of money that la-last year. So it wasn't such a problem then. And I suppose I sort of blew that money a little bit. Um, so now I don't have that acting income coming in as frequently and I'm working in a cafe like a sort of part-time and it's not bringing in as much. So now it's kinda like, and sometimes I need to borrow a bit of money or sorta need a bit of help with the rent sometimes.
change
communication behavior
64_140
Yeah. Yeah. A little bit.
neutral
communication behavior
64_142
No. But you know, that's the life of an actor, I suppose, ups and downs works and not works.
neutral
communication behavior
64_144
No.
neutral
communication behavior
64_146
It's not.
neutral
communication behavior
64_148
Hmm. Could have been a couple of auditions that I didn't do so well and as I could have 'cause of that.
change
communication behavior
64_150
Uh, maybe. Maybe it's just my general sort of state. Um,I dunno, sometimes I suppose just kind of weighs on my mind a little bit like, "What am I doing or why am I spending my money on this?" I mean, when it's happening, it's like, this is amazing.
neutral
communication behavior
64_152
You know am I-- You go in- you go into places, interesting places, but you know, I could just as well have saved that money and actually gone to interesting places I suppose. But I don't know. I wonder if it- if-if it's having an effect. I-I don't know. I can't say for sure, but maybe it's not so good for the face, I dunno. [crosstalk] Dunno if I look tired or-or run down or-
change
communication behavior
64_154
-or if I actually am tired or run down, I suppose. Again, this is things that I haven't really thought about-
change
communication behavior
64_156
-but now I'm starting to think about.
change
communication behavior
64_158
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_160
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_162
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_164
Yeah. Hmm.
neutral
communication behavior
64_166
Yep.
neutral
communication behavior
64_168
Yep.
neutral
communication behavior
64_170
Mm-hmm.
neutral
communication behavior
64_172
Uh, I guess it's obviously having some sort of effect on my friends and my flatmates, 'cause, you know, they set me down and said, "Look you gotta-
change
communication behavior
64_174
-look into this or else we can't hang out anymore."
change
communication behavior
64_176
That would be a problem, yeah.
change
communication behavior
64_178
If they didn't wanna hang out, well, then what have I got, I suppose?
change
communication behavior
64_180
Yeah. Yeah, and I mean part of it, yeah. Part of it I just wonder 'cause, you know, a lot of those friends that set me down are obviously the ones that are not part of that scene. I mean there were a couple there that-that are, but mostly they were the ones that sort of have always sorta been a bit judgy. You know, like when I first started all this stuff, you know. And clearly, there wasn't a problem like-- 'cause I used to be that guy as well you know, like, "No never do that 'cause it's bad," and then you try it the first time and you go, "Actually, it's not that bad." It's not the end of the world if you're sensible with it, then it's not gonna be, you know.
sustain
communication behavior
64_181
You have to take a stupid amount to do any kind of like, or, you know, to die or to end up in a hospital.
sustain
communication behavior
64_183
So it's provided you don't-- you're not stupid with it. Then it's just a bit of fun but you can't really explain that to people who are-- have their walls up. So it's hard not to sit in this room full of people kind of going, "Oh, you know, you really should stop the drugs, they're bad." It's like, "Well actually, you don't know what you're talking about."
neutral
communication behavior
64_185
Yep. Yeah, a couple.
neutral
communication behavior
64_187
Yeah.
neutral
communication behavior
64_189
Yep.
neutral
communication behavior