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4,300 | Is 1TB reasonable for a car? | {
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4,301 | "Dearest Mother,\n\nColin Farrell's dick is fucking huge. Like, thick and heavy. A real veiny loaf of pure manhood. That's all for now. \n\nSincerely, \n\nIt's fucking big. Like a kaiju dick." | {
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4,302 | I really found him fascinating, bright. He taught me a lot about myself. I was always very liberal in the civil rights area, yet he made me think even deeper. he said to me "You wonder what it's like to be young and never see yourself on TV. You're not in commercials, there's no black Santa Clause on the street. You're invisible." That really struck me. | {
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4,303 | It's the Shawshank method. | {
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4,304 | Homeless japanese guy\n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/MBRp7En.jpg\n\nedit: He is Chinese apparently. Upvote /u/keikun13 | {
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4,305 | It's always been good old hand and dick for me with nothing in between. | {
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4,306 | Ok ok. Suzy elf #749 here. \nI'm just so happy I could make your daughters day. I don't think I'll ever forget how happy this has made me. I hope she makes tons of crafts, gets hyper off the candycanes, and cuddles with a new animal every night. | {
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4,307 | http://soundcloud.com/tenaciousd/ufo | {
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4,308 | He sounds like he has a\n\n*takes off sunglasses*\n\ndebilitating addictive personality that probably cripples any relationship he's ever formed.\n\n**YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH** | {
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4,309 | You pulled over on a dark road alone after that? You're the kind of person who dies first in a horror movie | {
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4,310 | Especially because you're supposed to bing porn not google it | {
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4,311 | WE DID IT REDDIT!\n\nEdit: Thanks for the gold!\n\nEdit \#2: x5 gold‽ | {
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4,312 | They must have recommended using a cat-apult to launch his cat at the cars | {
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4,313 | Maybe they *already have*. | {
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4,314 | I've met plenty of skinny girls who called themselves "fat" whenever they ate. Fat girls are usually the ones that DON'T call themselves fat...It'd be called like, a "curvy parade." | {
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4,315 | I am. I assumed it was some type of kink. | {
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4,316 | who the hell is Alicia??? | {
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4,317 | That's absolutely incredible work | {
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4,318 | A child born for the purpose of becoming a sex slave? | {
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4,319 | "But you ain't got no legs, lieutenant Dan" | {
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4,320 | Civilization: for when you want to learn about history, but also want it to suddenly be 6AM. | {
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4,321 | It is no coincidence that civilization appeared after the advent of agriculture. We are only 12,000 years removed from being nomads. | {
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4,322 | haha can't believe you thought that Morgan Freeman was Denzel Washington. | {
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4,323 | LOL WTF\n\n"Yeah, sweetie. Shot himself right in the head, 'POP!' I guess it's because you didn't find the clues fast enough. Well, I hope you do better with this next guy."\n\nEDIT: Thanks for the gold! And all I had to do was accuse OP's mother of traumatizing her terribly at a young age.\n\n10/10 would do again | {
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4,324 | The way you switched the side the dollar sign was on fascinates me. | {
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4,325 | Hey Johny.... Johny....hey is he wearin a fuckin Yankee's hat? I'm gonna shit on that guys fuckin head. | {
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4,326 | To protect from ozone poisoning, were you not paying attention? | {
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4,327 | > My mom\n\nWe have told this guy that his mom is a whore so many times he has started to believe it. Why don't we give ourselves a pat on the back. | {
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4,328 | Its not the Props dept job!! Its the director's job to hire a musician consultant!\nEDIT:\nIf the producer says they can't afford that, then its the director's job to hide the poor physical acting. | {
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4,329 | You win. Weirdest request ever award is yours, hands down. | {
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4,330 | Your envelope lights up in /r/unexpected even if you don't have mail. Maybe other subs do the same. | {
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4,331 | I did that with Life a few times, and tried to do it with Risk because no one ever wanted to play a full game\n\nIn the end though it was difficult. I could never trust myself when I said I wouldn't invade Ukraine......\n\nedit: well, this replaced my previous top comment regarding LSD. Who knew loneliness would get me sweet, sweet karma? | {
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4,332 | Thank you for actually answering the question instead of just posting a shitty attempt at karma | {
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4,333 | Metallic... Yeah. Yeah it is. | {
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4,334 | Except one\n\nHe just glares at everybody for stealing his comments | {
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4,335 | Being cut off from the bar isn't enough. They should always kick them out. Got angry when they never did this at the bar I worked | {
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4,336 | Nah, he'll just get made fun of - people laugh in the face of Danger. | {
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4,337 | We're looking at you, Skyler. | {
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4,338 | He used to be Ras al Ghul. Then he became Rasputin. Now he is simply Putin. | {
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4,339 | Redefine your definition of confidence my man.\n\nConfidence isn't looking at a girl and saying, "I know she'll like me." It's looking at a girl and saying, "I'll be fine whether she likes me or not." | {
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4,340 | You asked for a coin to be flipped, so I flipped one for you, the result was: **Heads**\n\n ---- \n\n ^This ^bot's ^messages ^aren't ^checked ^often, ^for ^the ^quickest ^response, ^click ^[here](/message/compose?to=lizardsrock4&subject=CoinBot) ^to ^message ^my ^maker \n\n ^Check ^out ^my ^[source](http://github.com/lizardsrock4) | {
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4,341 | 3rd leg? I always call it my 3rd knee. Why? So I have my left knee, right knee and we-knee.\n\nEdit: I went to sleep like most days thinking my comments would be buried and appreciated by a few... I think this one content more than doubled my karma. And RIP my inbox.\n\n Thanks kind stranger for the gold. I'll continue mining for more. | {
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4,342 | And this person is delaying an 11-year-old's education, apparently on account of their own bruised ego. | {
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4,343 | He starts off upset with her and gradually starts to reflect the hate towards himself until the end where he's disappointed with himself more than anything. \n\nSounds like my marriage. | {
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4,344 | You drink canned water? | {
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4,345 | Oh I get it\n\nEdit: how the fuck do I have so much karma?\n\nEdit: I have more karma than this post for saying eight words. Wow... | {
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4,346 | Haha don't worry, I'm sure you laugh like an idiot in private as well. | {
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4,347 | As soon as I started this IAMA my internet goes out. | {
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4,348 | "This one time when I was asleep someone took my eyeball out of it's socket, poked at it, and then put it back in." It's weird to me how you can say that without lying in the slightest... | {
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4,349 | "Now listen Spongebob, I want you to go around back and put that *shovel* in the freezer!" \n\n"Well sure Mr. Krabs, but what do you want me to do with the bo-"\n\n"-ttles of soda! Bottles of soda, same thing, put them in the freezer." | {
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4,350 | Hah,*I* don't have that problem.Mostly because I don't have a girlfriend. | {
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4,351 | INTERNET\n\nWHAT ARE YOU DOING?\n\nINTERNET\n\nSTAHP | {
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4,352 | holy shit, you do realize she probably knew. | {
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4,353 | They grow everywhere on the east coast, you just probably haven't seen them. | {
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4,354 | On tonight's uhhhh......show we have guest...uhhh....*credits* | {
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4,355 | is it gay if you're 27? I'm asking for a friend. | {
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4,356 | Wow, a Dwarf Fortress analogy that manages to not be more complex than the original thing to explain. | {
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4,357 | So the floor IS lava! | {
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4,358 | Who do they think they are, Hulu Plus? | {
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4,359 | It's always animal going up the stairs, never going down | {
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4,360 | At least you weren't a silent rock. Heavy breathing is at least *some* noise. Next time when you have sex, bring a medium sized rock with you and place it next to her to see if you are being too quiet. If you can hear the rock, you should be making some more noise. | {
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4,361 | hey, you should come over to /r/outside | {
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4,362 | Instructions unclear, hid in a backyard boat in Boston.\n\nObligatory edit: First Gold! I'd like to thank my inspiration, the dude who hid in a boat in Boston while the city was under martial law.\n\nEdit 2: aaaaand now my top comment is a bad satirical political reference. Thanks, Reddit.\n\nEdit 3: I can't reddit this time of night. | {
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4,363 | So, what you're saying is our default state is to have a boner? That explains a lot. | {
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4,364 | if he went to the cafeteria regularly, he would know | {
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4,365 | http://i.imgur.com/wvPvM.gif | {
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4,366 | And sometimes I discover that I actually had to poop too. | {
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4,367 | i want a picture of you managing to take that picture. | {
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4,368 | He looks legitimately concerned about that squirrel's mental health | {
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4,369 | You selfish asshole. | {
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4,370 | He told his secret to [this boy](http://imgur.com/xGsu3Ft) | {
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4,371 | What is red and bad for your teeth?\n\n[A brick](/s "")\n | {
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4,372 | Yeah, he'd rack up the karma. | {
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4,373 | WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM? | {
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4,374 | I think 8 years ago you probably were too. | {
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4,375 | Having fun isn't hard\n\nWhen you've got a library card! | {
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4,376 | "Pretty good" - Jesus | {
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4,377 | Not really, let's be real here.\n\nAlthough it's funny to imagine President Obama sitting in the oval office giggling and looking at photos of cats.\n\nEDIT: I'm enjoying the fact that for the forseeable future my comment with the most upvotes will be one about President Obama looking at cat photos on reddit.\n\nDOUBLE EDIT: thanks to Machinax for pointing out that I'm quoted on CNN for this...I feel slightly more famous today, and yet I can't tell anyone I know IRL. | {
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4,378 | You are very immature for a 42yr old. I like you. | {
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4,379 | It bothers me that seemingly anything will get you registered as a sex offender these days. People take that label very seriously, and it can instantly ruin your prospects of ever getting a good job. | {
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4,380 | Hey man, the poor baggage handler had to fight a dragon for that thing. | {
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4,381 | "No. It's your fat ass that makes you look fat." | {
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4,382 | Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?\n\nArcher: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs. | {
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4,383 | http://i.imgur.com/fp6Xn.gif\n | {
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4,384 | You think this shit is a joke, son?[](/s Thank you, my fellow fedora wearing sirs) | {
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4,385 | I'd have just driven over his cones, getting them stuck under the car, and dragging them off down the street. Mine now bitch! | {
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4,386 | 'And God said to him, "Nigger, please", and all was good.' \n\n- Harlemmes Globetrotterous 23:12 | {
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4,387 | One of the best scenes in Airplane. Guy is just talking and swerving the wheel, you see the road weaving like crazy behind him, he hits a cyclist, and somehow ends up driving in front of a band of cowboys. | {
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4,388 | Yobbo is an Australian term for a dirty poor person, so this works. | {
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4,389 | i fucking love skeeball | {
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4,390 | A symptom of being cooked by most methods is feeling warm. | {
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4,391 | It'll still be the wrong one | {
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4,392 | I hope so, otherwise my mom is a slut | {
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4,393 | Cause Simon is the closest person to normal on that panel. Demi...what an awful thing to say.\n\n | {
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4,394 | Related:\n\nMy friend's little brother once said, "You know why I don't want to die?" (points up) "Dead dinosaurs. They're waiting for us up there." | {
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4,395 | Suddenly your car is dented and red. They'll know. | {
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4,396 | That too, but it's mainly the pants. | {
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4,397 | I hate how they always get you on the shipping and handling. | {
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4,398 | And Carly totally backed out and didn't do anything, she just stayed in the same hotel room that we were fucking in, the entire time, for some reason, instead of going home. | {
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4,399 | Exactly. \n\nBillions of stars in our galaxy alone, and billions of galaxies. There are just too many rolls of the cosmic dice for there not to be life elsewhere.\n\nPersonally, I'm of the opinion that there are civilizations out there that are a million years ahead of us, a million years behind us, and everything in between. | {
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"harassment/threatening": 0.00002792505983961746
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"flagged": false
} |
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