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1,000 | Dick game so strong, got bitches digivolving and shit | {
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1,001 | No, really op. You have to fucking elaborate here. | {
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1,002 | More like "Beef Strokin' Off", AMIRITE?! | {
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1,003 | It was actually the opposite. Tuesday was chosen so that farmers could get into town to vote without serverly interfering with their schedules. However, today that's no longer needed and nobody's bothered to change it. | {
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1,004 | yeah even though they get bad checks. | {
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1,005 | > with no restriction where U.S. forces could pursue the threat. \n\nWell that's terrifying as fuck. | {
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1,006 | God, I wish you had hired him ... Who knows what other shenanigans he had up his sleeve. | {
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1,007 | Because he fapped to it, felt guilty, and wanted someone else to feel worse about the whole situation. \n\nEdit: leave to reddit to make my top post about creepy incest. | {
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1,008 | Meet my eye line, Jim! | {
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1,009 | Wow. It's definitely different. I remember shaking every hand and taking every picture, then seeing my wife and kids sad because I was out with them, but spent no time with them. I had to set boundaries. I love being famous and all the fans, but my wife and kids need Terry the husband, Terry the Dad. Terry the Star has no place at home. | {
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1,010 | I don't know if this has anything to do with gender, but sometimes I will just let people think I don't know something that they also don't know just because it's easier than explaining it to them. I don't want to seem like a know it all and I can't stand the sound of my own voice in those situations. Also I'm lazy. | {
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1,011 | /r/randomactsofblowjob | {
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1,012 | Agreed. If they were just anti fat-shaming, I'd be on board. However, fat acceptance activists like to cherry-pick medical studies and downplay the serious health effects associated with obesity, which is messed up. | {
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1,013 | That means for every 11 days of your life you spent 1 full day on that character since wow came out. Jesus | {
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1,014 | "We don't drink and fuck, so neither can you."\n\nWoman's Christian Temperance Union | {
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1,015 | It is either\n\n*"What are we paying you for anyway? Everything works!"*\n\nor\n\n*"What are we paying you for anyway? Nothing works!"*\n\n \nEdit: *Thanks for the Gold* | {
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1,016 | Would not want to work there if that was their attitude. Time off? Nope. Pay rise? Nope. Safety gear where necessary? Nope. If they're not willing to equip you for the job properly in the interview you can put money on 'em not looking after you when you've joined. | {
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1,017 | It's people like you driving down the wages for the rest of us! | {
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1,018 | That's a sweet story. | {
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1,019 | Yeah, he wasn't always successful at abstaining. True wisdom would have been to remove yourself from temptation, he knew exactly what he was doing. | {
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1,020 | > I have countdowns for everything, it sometimes gets me in trouble.\n\n\- Wasted_Thyme\n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/daPYiv3.gifv | {
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1,021 | The strip search shouldn't have happened *as it did*. However, if the school had called the cops, and held the girl under observation until they arrived, the cops could have determined if a strip search was appropriate and performed one if so... which I assume would have involved contacting the minor's parents.\n\nTroubled kid or not, selling drugs or not, there's no way the school is in the right on this. | {
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1,022 | Still not as embarrassing as when I tried to buy condoms using the self-checkout in Tesco earlier and the machine said "unexpected item in the bagging area". \n | {
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1,023 | "yeah, the address is top-right-corner-to-bottom-left-corner-to-middle-right-side-to-top-left-corner Main street" | {
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1,024 | GS is not a critique, just FUN! | {
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1,025 | The number one safety rule on the road: Be predictable.\n\nStopping randomly when you have the right of way is the opposite of that. | {
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1,026 | Why THE FUCK would you remove that? | {
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1,027 | Hello waiting\n\n\nEdit: Whoah! Rip inbox & my comment karma went from 191 to 2.8k | {
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1,028 | I like my women like I like my excel data\n\nTrimmed | {
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1,029 | I'm cracking up at both of you. | {
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1,030 | Pakistani here, there are 'begging mafias' that operate over here. That woman was probably part of a gang that used a different baby everyday. They also drug the kids with cough syrup, opium or heroin to put them to sleep... sometimes the kid ends up dead.\n\nFuck Karachi anyway. Its chaotic, overcrowded, violent and dirty.\n\nEdit: well this is my most upvoted comment ever. | {
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1,031 | Can't emphasize this enough. You don't have to speak in glowing terms about your previous or current employer, but have some tact about what you say. The phrase *I don't like the direction the company/department is heading* is a great way to diplomatically say *the company is run by morons and I want to get out as soon as possible.* | {
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1,032 | Ah yes, the four cardinal directions: northwest, southwest, eastwest, and westwest. | {
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1,033 | Rule #1 for IT guys: Don't become your families IT Guy.\n\nYou can never do something right, and it's always your fault, from that point on. | {
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1,034 | Does anyone get these in their feet when they orgasm sometimes? | {
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1,035 | Never have I hit the back button in such desperation. One view was more than sufficient to make my mouth open and my testicles retract. | {
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1,036 | Hahaha that's a GREAT idea, and I've already started drinking his beer so I might as well see it through! :)\n\n[ http://i.imgur.com/ztSUSiP.jpg](\nhttp://i.imgur.com/ztSUSiP.jpg)\n | {
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1,037 | The joke was on you. We were. | {
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1,038 | I do this. \nGet a robe, its like a whole body towel. \n | {
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1,039 | I was bullied when I was in middle school which lead me to taking up Tae Kwon Do at a young age. I loved martial arts and competing so MMA was just a natural progression. | {
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1,040 | Must've been some good pussy | {
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1,041 | None of that is your fault. When you saw all that blood, you went into shock and fainted. You're not responsible for that. | {
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1,042 | "ayy lmao" - Adolf Hitler | {
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1,043 | This is almost as bad as the Comcast-Time Warner merger. Almost. | {
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1,044 | It's an unflinching narrative that talks about a wide variety of social issues involving screen play writing. It also has an ensemble cast of multicultural people mostly from Africa and Southeast Asia but it's set in kansas city. | {
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1,045 | I don't care what anybody says, I'm putting a smiley face on my fucking Sun damnit. | {
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1,046 | Just make sure the Velociraptors are safely locked in their enclosure. | {
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1,047 | We new he had heavy hands so the plan was to wrestle him but he stood so close in front of me so I just hit him until he went down. | {
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1,048 | *plunges into everlasting winter* | {
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1,049 | I remember back before DLCs I would buy every skin in the game by buying the game. | {
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1,050 | I was at a carnival with my boyfriend at the time. He had just won a stuffed animal for me playing some sideshow game. The carny working the game looks to me and says, *"Well, now you have to give him a kiss!"* So I kiss him all sloppy like, turn to the carny and say, *"You're a pretty fucked up guy telling me to kiss my brother like that."* | {
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1,051 | Jackie was fine. Jackie got around. Meg? Not so much. | {
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1,052 | good job op did you have sex? | {
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1,053 | I am glorious leader of best Korea! Ask me anything!! ^^^if ^^^you ^^^want ^^^to ^^^be ^^^^thrown ^^^^^into ^^^^^^workcamp | {
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1,054 | "welcome to steam.com\n\nSteam.com is the former home of Steam Tunnel Operations.\n\nThis domain is not for sale."\n\n\n\nWELL FUCK YOU TOO THEN | {
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1,055 | numb your mouth with chloraseptic first | {
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1,056 | Until he says something like "coolest cube in the tray" and drops back to the bottom of the social ladder. | {
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1,057 | And that's why it's called a "Love Seat" | {
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1,058 | ... You should to do an AMA on her behalf. | {
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1,059 | nice try Russian space program | {
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1,060 | 1990 honda accord. have power windows and power sunroof. | {
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1,061 | Sounds like she needed out too.\n\nEdit: Thank you stranger for the gold! I'm honestly way more proud than I should be. This is as high as I'll ever get and I'm scared. | {
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1,062 | I used to a know a Harry Potter fan who wrote a lot of fan fiction and she flipped her shit just a few minutes after her trip to the bathroom during which I set her autocorrect to change Voledemort to He Who Must Not Be Named. | {
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1,063 | I'll have the steak and lobster. Oh drat, I lose. | {
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1,064 | How come she don't want me, man? | {
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1,065 | Or just spontaneously developing autism. Then the measles. | {
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1,066 | Remind me to never piss you off... | {
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1,067 | "My son ate a burger in Pittsburgh and now loves the Steelers." \n\num, okay. | {
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1,068 | Pfft. Just use lube.\n\nEdit. I pity my girlfriend.\n\nEdit. Gold? You people are terrible. | {
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1,069 | Says the [5'5" dude](http://www.reddit.com/r/gainit/comments/1182l6/is_there_a_categorized_listing_for_the_short_ass/) with a [3 inch penis](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/10dmqb/is_it_possible_to_make_a_small_dick_longer_in/). | {
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1,070 | I don't know what that means but it sounds like a consolation prize for being alive.\n\nedit: *Didn't really expect this to get attention. Would just like to say - /u/indicaisme can do whatever the hell he likes, and I have no doubt that earning the cape took serious dedication. My comment was tongue-in-cheek and not meant to contain any spite at all.* | {
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1,071 | Heh, "bum outta hell." | {
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1,072 | Her baby is gonna be hanging from her snatch | {
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1,073 | Plus it usually ends up with more sex. | {
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1,074 | I'm... going to need some time alone. | {
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1,075 | Since we are on reddit it was most likely a group of slightly overweight shaggy dudes. Aka just what the doctor ordered. | {
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1,076 | Better than an unregistered sex offender. | {
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1,077 | I'm not good at geometry | {
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1,078 | *farts the national anthem* | {
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1,079 | I hate when that happens. There's this lady on my tube ride every morning, she doesn't know it yet but I have already bought us a house together and even a puppy, soon it'll become a fully grown dog. \n\nNext step is talking to her. | {
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1,080 | These are worse than OP's pic, because they're not photoshopped. They are proof of his hypocrisy. | {
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1,081 | Basically, [this.](https://i.imgur.com/BkBwv.jpg) | {
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1,082 | Your genitals have seen some shit man. | {
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1,083 | When we were at the restaurant the other day my father fingered the waitress and she came. | {
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1,084 | I will shamelessly take my karma boost | {
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1,085 | Maybe you thought you were the "don't you hate it when" person on an infomercial? | {
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1,086 | ELI5: anything. Because I'm five. | {
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1,087 | "You're not helping" \n\nYES SHE FUCKING IS WHAT THE FUCK JIMMY YOU UNGRATEFUL CUNT | {
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1,088 | Quoth the raven, "Open the fucking door." | {
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1,089 | Holy jesus the thought of being locked in a Wal - Mart with a homicidal Austin Powers cracks me the fuck up.\n\nImagine it...you're hidden under a rack of clothing, clutching a knife in your trembling fist with the sound of distant footsteps coming your way. Among your heavy yet stifled breathing, you hear the words uttered quietly...\n\n^"I ^have ^one ^question ^for ^you..."\n\nHe then rips through the clothing with knife in hand and yells \n\n"DO I MAKE YOU HORNY, BABY?" | {
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1,090 | My problem is with being vocal though. I masturbated so much since I was very young that I developed the ability to do it without a single sound. It feels weird to think I should make sounds now. I try to breathe a little heavier but everything more than that feels ridiculous. I appreciate vocal partners so I'm a hypocrite. | {
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1,091 | Just pulled it to your comment. | {
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1,092 | Windshield is now kill. | {
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1,093 | If you want to get to orbit or beyond, go with pure rockets. It is not like Von Braun and Korolev didn't know about airplanes and they were really smart dudes. | {
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1,094 | The kids a fucking G tho | {
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1,095 | My husband said "I'm glad you haven't found *my* cum box yet." Then I give him that look and he laughs and says "Just kidding, honey. You're my cum box." \nI feel so much better, now. | {
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1,096 | I feel like you handle stress really well. | {
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1,097 | The study was actually about how long you could go without fapping. The sleep study part was just a ruse. | {
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1,098 | I did this when I was younger. A new Manager let power get to his head so we all just started calling him "massta" as in "Just tell me how high you want them bales stacked massta"\n\nObligatory Edit: Thanks for the gold! | {
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1,099 | Can you start a thread where you post bits of information about it? I would upvote the shit out of that. With my real account and this one. THINK OF THE TWO UPVOTES! | {
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