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in offence with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety
this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
[Exeunt SIR TOBY and MARIA.]
CLOWN.
[Singing.] 'Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
Tell me how thy lady does.'
MALVOLIO.
Fool,--
CLOWN.
'My lady is unkind, perdy.'
MALVOLIO.
Fool,--
CLOWN.
'Alas, why is she so?'
MALVOLIO.
Fool, I say;--
CLOWN.
'She loves another'--Who calls, ha?
MALVOLIO.
Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand,
help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a
gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.
CLOWN.
Master Malvolio!
MALVOLIO.
Ay, good fool.
CLOWN.
Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
MALVOLIO.
Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused; I am as well in
my wits, fool, as thou art.
CLOWN.
But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in
your wits than a fool.
MALVOLIO.
They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send
ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my
wits.
CLOWN.
Advise you what you say: the minister is here.--Malvolio, thy
wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave
thy vain bibble-babble.
MALVOLIO.
Sir Topas,--
CLOWN.
Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not
I, sir. God b' wi' you, good Sir Topas.--Marry, amen.--I will
sir, I will.
MALVOLIO.
Fool, fool, fool, I say,--
CLOWN.
Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent for
speaking to you.
MALVOLIO.
Good fool, help me to some light and some paper;
I tell thee I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.
CLOWN.
Well-a-day,--that you were, sir!
MALVOLIO.
By this hand, I am: Good fool, some ink, paper, and
light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall
advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did.
CLOWN.
I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad
indeed? or do you but counterfeit?
MALVOLIO.
Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true.
CLOWN.
Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains.
I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.
MALVOLIO.
Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr'ythee be
gone.