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t3_iw7wd | AskReddit | Networking Security | I'm looking at furthering my knowledge so that once I get out of the military I can get a job as a Network Administrator or something similar. Along those same lines weather or not my job is specifically a network security type position, I would like to learn more about that. Right now I am reading up to get my Net+ cert. After this I may or may not get my A+ cert, simply because I feel like it would be nice and easy to do/get. None the less, could anyone recommend a certain book, or author, that puts out good material for me to start getting in to network security? | What book(s) should I get to learn about network security? |
t3_1pibra | relationships | Me [22M] with my friend [21F], just after a break-up. | So she broke up with her bf a bit over a week ago ...she's been emotionally cheating with me for at least 6-8 weeks. About 5 days after she broke it off it just so happens we're making out and doing relationship-y stuff (this has been a long time coming though) however a couple of days later we decide to wait on it so she can be single for a while (she needs to do this for herself).
Anyway she definitely has feelings for me and she's already suggested we watch a movie together, this will be happening in about a week and a half which is approximately how much longer she said she might need for herself. It'll just be me and her at her place, what would be your intentions in this situation? We've talked about how we both don't want this to just be a rebound fling. | Bit after break up, we're having a movie night at hers? We have a bit of history so it's not just a typical 'rebound' situation. Should I just be there as a friend? |
t3_19463k | tifu | TIFU by trying to kill a snowman. | I don't know if anyone else does this. My friend and I were on our way home from a long day and a long road trip; needless to say we were delusionaly tired. We turned on a street and there was a snowman in the yard of a guy we know. We both looked at each other and I was like "Dude you want to smash it?" She pulled over and was like "Fuck yeah." So we ran up to it and proceeded to break our legs trying to smash this fucking ice man. So we left. Then I was like "Let's get shovels and go back" Bad fucking idea. We're both enablers so neither of us say no to pretty much anything. So we go back and start hacking it with the shovels. Then all of the sudden I hear a door close and my friend, "DUDE RUN, GET IN THE CAR." So I ran back the car and as fate would have it I slipped and almost fell as this guy was chasing us. So I get up and fumble my way to the car (I'm wearing dress boots with no tread); I literally got one foot in the car and my hand on the handle and she floored it. I thought I was going to die. So the entire time I was like "HOLY FUCK I'M GOING TO FALL OUT OF THE CAR AND DIE." Once I got in the car, we looked at each other and said we're never going to so that again. | Tried to smash a snowman, turned out to be ice. Got shovels, man chased us, almost literally died. |
t3_2i6t6n | relationships | I [25/F] constantly worry i'm going to lose my bf [27 M/] of 3 years. | I realise that i'm insecure, i try not to be but i always worry that my bf is going to leave me. He has improved my life massively since meeting him 3 years ago and i feel like if he was to leave me now i wouldn't want to live anymore.
Before he met me he used to travel a lot and i know he's slept with a lot of girls and i worry that he misses being single and working abroad, just last month his friends were talking about going to Spain on a guys holiday and he told me he wasn't going to go because they would be drinking a lot around girls and that it wouldn't be fair to me if he went, which is sweet of him but i know he really wants to go.
My friends don't help my insecurities, one of my friends flirts with him all the time and one night when he dropped her home she invited him into her flat to watch a movie, which i felt was very inappropriate. Another of my friends openly admits that she's attracted to him and always gets dressed up if she knows my boyfriend is going to be around and it makes me uncomfortable cause i knows she's more attractive than me. Also his ex is beautiful and she still messages him occasionally and it seems like she wants him back, she's the only girl apart from me that he's ever loved and i know i could never compete with her looks wise and i worry that he misses her.
How do i get over my insecurities? Part of me wants to get pregnant so he would be less likely to leave me but of course i would never trap him. Do i just accept that my boyfriend will inevitably leave and enjoy being with him for as long as i can? | I feel that my bf is too good for me and will eventually leave, i think he misses being single and better looking girls than me are interested in him. |
t3_4512at | relationship_advice | How can i [19M] tell if my crush [19F] still has some feelings for me? | This has been going on way to long and its been driving me a little crazy but i feel like i either do something now or just walk away.
Ive had a crush on this girl for 5 months. Shes amazing, and we get on really well. we are really similar and ive never felt so close to someone before.
Anyway, about 4 months ago at a party we kissed and then a couple days later we talked and i told her that i liked her, she said that she liked me but there was another guy who she wanted to be with.
I tried moving on, but none of the girls that ive met since have been as cool as her. Also since then we've become really really close friends. Two months ago she broke up with her bf.
I didnt really consider doing anything because i liked having her as a friend and didnt want her out of my life if she rejects me. however my mate was talking to her and she told him some stuff that he said he wouldnt tell me but said that "i was on the right track" if i wanted to go there whatever that means.
Knowing that she might still have some feelings for me, makes me hesistant to walk way from this, because no matter how great it is being friends i also have feelings for her.
How can i tell if she still has feelings for me? any signs or something ahah.
Have no idea really what is should do and need some help making a decision as to what my next move should be, all i can think of is getting my mate drunk and try to get him to tell me what she said haha. any advice would be great. | Mate said my crush might still have some feelings for me. How can i tell if she does and what should I do in this situation/ |
t3_212sv2 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 M/F] of 1 year: She loves me but likes another guy | My job started taking up a lot of my free time. I guess while I was busy my gf made a new friend. They started hanging out a good deal, and then she developed feelings for him. The past few weeks she has seemed really confused, even though she still calls and texts me and wants to hang out with me. Yesterday she came over crying and told me how she felt. She told me she loves me and sees herself with me forever but it isn't fair for her to be with me and like another. She said she needed to figure it out. I told her to take some time to be alone and think, and to call me when shes ready to talk. This situation had been tearing us both up for a couple of weeks now. Both of us were losing sleep.
Is this a situation where our relationship is doomed? Can I do anything about this? I dont want to lose her, and apparently she doesn't want to break up either. | Girlfriend loves me but likes another, says she can't be with me until she figures it out because its not fair to me |
t3_3rye31 | relationships | I[15 M]need help motivating my girlfriend[15 F] of 1 year to study/do her work for school | My girlfriend is a very smart person. She's completely capable of taking all the hardest classes and getting A's in all of them. But now she's falling behind in school because she doesn't study or do homework. It's because she thinks it's too late to bring her grade up and she lacks the discipline to not go on the internet or draw. I don't know why she thinks it's too late but I think she lacks discipline because of 2 reasons
1. In middle school even when taking the most difficult classes you never really needed to study and still get an A.
2. Her parents never have been happy for her when she gets an A or does just about anything that would make any one else's parent super excited.
Her grade dropped in 8th grade too but it was just because she didn't do homework not because she didn't study. She was motivated mostly by her very friendly teachers. But sadly while her teachers are good they don't form the same bond with students as they did in 8th grade. When she was motivated though, she was motivated. She always did her work right after school and was always excited to hand it in. I just really want to try to get that back and help her keep it this time. | GF isn't studying/doing homework and says there's no time left to fix her grade. I really need help motivating her to get back on track. |
t3_1h7uqp | relationships | My American girlfriend [F24] just had her Visa denied to the UK and I [M23] have to go back home next week. I'm lost. | I'm devastated. Background...
We met each other 8 months ago in the UK and have lived together for 6 months. We've talked about marriage, kids, and our future, and had talks where we think we're heading somewhere very serious, even planning out timelines for our careers and children.
I know it's not been long, but we're over the honeymoon period – we've had our fair share of serious arguments and points where we both felt like getting out of the relationship, but we don't want to. We want to be with each other, and both agree this isn't like relationships (long or short) we've had in the past. We get on like we've known each other for years, and it's safe to say we're each other's best friends.
She was applying for her visa but for really silly reasons *she won't be getting her visa to the UK*. We're in America right now, and I have to go back home next week.
I'm applying to jobs all over the city to see if I can get a visa (web developer, so there's no shortage of jobs), but getting a visa for the US is difficult, and we're looking at moving to Toronto but money's an issue. We've talked about marriage but I don't want to propose because of the visa – I know exactly how I want to do it but I'm not sure about it (age, rushing things, money for the wedding, where the wedding will take place etc.).
What would you recommend we do? Any tips for long term relationships? Any heads up on how I should act over the next 4 days to make sure we leave with the relationship as strong as possible?
I don't really know what I'm asking, but any advice is welcome... this is horrible and I feel lost. | serious relationship but have to move apart due to visa issues. |
t3_u0f39 | running | Overweight runner could use some advice on routine... | Hey Runnit! I've been running for almost 2 years now (been running on and off for 3) but I've never actually gone and read up on it, and just applied basic things I learned about physical activity over the years, so I'm kind of a n00b. It's been a great asset to my weight loss (the first 40 lbs just melted off). Since discovering this subreddit and the various articles linked there, I've been having questions about my routine.
I'm male, 5'3" (160 cm) and 170 lbs (77.1 kg). My routine these days is: 3 days of the week, run 7.5 miles on pavement (10-12 minute miles. These are about as hard as I can push myself); 2 days, run 5.5 miles on treadmill (on the 10 minute mile end of things); Two days off to rest legs, but still lifting or swimming.
My question is, is keeping up this routine while trying to lose weight bad at all? I've been reading about training for half marathons and how you're not supposed to lose weight while doing it, and it seems that I put in the same weekly mileage as some of the half marathon training programs I see out there, and this is what concerned me. Should I go for lower mileage? | Overweight guy runs 30+ miles a week and is still trying to lose weight. Is this bad? |
t3_wkqci | AskReddit | What should I do? | A month before I graduated college/university with 2 B.A.s, I had an accident which disabled one of my hands for many months. (Power tool+flesh and bone=Nope) Because of this I was not able to finish some work in one class (receiving an Incomplete) which led to getting an "Unfinished" on my Senior Project for BA #1.
The incomplete, I thought, kept me from getting crossover upper level credit for BA#2. I walked, thinking I would finish off the class and project work that summer. I got a job offer that took me away - 17 years later, I called to see about finishing my degrees.
Degree #2 was actually competed, but no one told me and I was never sent my degree. Degree #1 can be had by retaking the Incomplete and doing the Senior Project over. OR I can just take a minor in Degree#1 and call it good. Should I spend the time to get my Degree #1? This would require travel states away, classes and dealing with stuff on top of my family life and work. My wife says I should just be done. I feel like I should have something to show for my 5 years of school and 2 B.A.s would be more representative of my effort and work. | I found out I've had a B.A. for 17 years and didn't know it. I can get my 2nd B.A. by spending 6-12 months doing part time class and work or I can just have it as a minor and be done. |
t3_2xqg21 | tifu | TIFU by ordering a house of wine | This happened to my dad many years ago, but I'll tell it from his perspective for story-telling sake:
I live in Italy in a city called Naples, most people probably have heard of it. Anyway, I'm here because I'm in the Navy and to say the least, I'm not good at speaking Italian.
Yesterday, I went to a restaurant with my wife and her brother in laws and their wives. I opened the menu to find that it was written entirely in Italian. Fuck. I didn't want to make a fool of myself, so I didn't ask for help with translating. I'm searching the menu for words I know and I find "vino". Fuck yeah, wine! I still didn't understand anything on the wine list, but I did know the word for house which is "casa". The waiter comes by and asks everyone what they would like for beverages in scrambled English.
I'm hoping I don't have to go first, as I have no confidence in what I'm about to say and I hate being looked at like an idiot. He looked at me first, so I ordered a "casa de vino". Wine of the house, right? He looks at me confused, and the entire table bursts into laughter. I quickly realized where I had gone wrong. I laughed it off, but I looked pretty stupid whilst doing so. | I'm American |
t3_2tfgji | relationships | The gym is my boyfriends [M,31) life, I (F,24) spend most nights by myself (4 yrs) Not sure how to handle this anymore | We have been living together for 6 mo's. I used to work at the gym until 10pm and he usually would be getting there around 8pmand spending most of his night there. It did not bother me the first 2 years of our relationship. The past 2 years I have been working a full-time job 8am-5pm so i prefer to be home at a reasonable time (before 9). He however has not stopped spending all evening at the gym with his guys. They often go out for beer and food afterwards. I do go out a few times a week but I get home at a decent time and he's still gone. When I don't go out I am at home alone for on avg 3-5hrs with his dog. The 1-2 hours I see him at home before he leaves for the night he is busy setting up daily fantasy line ups. I really get no "down time" or quality time with him. Am I being needy or am I a being totally reasonable when I want him to start cutting down time at the gym or going earlier so I can talk about or day/life ect. And yes, we have had this talk and he cares for about 1 day and a day later goes back to spending all his time at the gym/out to eat with the boys. I worry if we ever got married and had children I'd be home all night with the kids while dads busy being in shape and keeping in touch with friends. Does anyone have advice on how to handle this? | The gym is my boyfriends [M,31) life, I (F,24) spend most nights by myself (4 yrs) Not sure how to handle this anymore |
t3_2sdyhs | tifu | TIFU trying to run to the bathroom. | My shame took place 2 hours ago, and I'm still attempting to process it.
Some background. I'm 28 years old, and I'm a gassy man. I can rip ass with the best of them, and today was no exception. My girlfriend and I have an ongoing joke that at some point in our relationship, one of us will inevitably shit themselves, and thus push our relationship into a new level. We were casually gaming tonight when I felt that my incoming fart may be bringing some company. Keep in mind, that at this point in the evening, I had already shit twice as the result of a bad, albeit predictable, run in with a local taco truck.
I knew at this point that I had no time to test the waters with this fart, so I stood up and immediately knew that if I didn't run to the bathroom, I wouldn't make it. This, is where I fucked up...
In the process of running to the bathroom, I managed to catch the toe of my slipper onto the edge of a sketchy rug in the hallway and lose my footing. I fell... Hard. Due to the speed at which this happened, I had no time to use my hands to brace the fall, and proceeded to land face first on the floor in the middle of the hallway. It's at this point, that I realize that the seat of my pants is uncharacteristically warm. I slowly pick myself off the floor and proceed to the bathroom, only to find that fate had doomed me on this evening. Staring right back at me with joyful defiance was a long streak of fajita induced shit.
The rest of my evening has been a constant stream of fecal puns thrown at me, and the occasional moment where my girlfriend will burst into uncontrollable laughter. | Tripped and fell running to the bathroom, bashed my knees and face on the ground, and shit myself. |
t3_3smkop | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] 1.5 years, he cheated and I don't think I love him anymore | About a month ago I accidentally found emails between my boyfriend and lots of random people containing explicit content. Over the course of several weeks I finally got the information about what had actually happened, basically he met people on craigslist and sexted and exchanged pictures and made plans to meet up but swears he never went (and I'm well aware that this doesn't sound believable). After many many many conversations he begged me to give him a few weeks to make it up to me and I conceded. I was angry and shocked for quite a while, but now I just feel numb to him and I don't think i love him anymore. This has completely changed the way I see him and our relationship. I know the advice I'm going to get. I just feel very sad and embarrassed to talk about this with anyone I know so this is where I'm letting it out. If anyone has been through something like this it would be comforting to hear your story. | Boyfriend cheated and I don't think I love him anymore. Just needed somewhere to let it out. |
t3_tl2ty | relationship_advice | F21 Trouble communicating "No" with an SO--not as dramatic as it sounds | First Reddit post, so here goes.
Premise: F21 in relationship with M20. In college, I know I'm stressed which is certainly affecting the mental state.
Problem: This is my first relationship, his second. He keeps wanting to move physically fast. I let him try a few things, but I've finally got it set in my mind that I'm not ready to do what he's asking (I'm open minded and didn't want to immediately say no to everything, which I would have--that isn't fair). I've told him no, and he really shut down and said we'd take it slower.
That lasted less than a week, and he's already back to ramping up the speed again. I'm recovering from some long term anxiety issues, and I already have trouble balancing time for myself, how much he wants to hang out, and my work load. I know it'll be hard for him to go slower after I've given him some leeway, but I can't emotionally handle the physical, if that makes any sense. | How do I tell him he's moving too fast and we need to slow WAY down without hurting his feelings/completely destroying the relationship? |
t3_455bf9 | relationships | I [23 M] hire an escort [23 F] on my birthday for the past 3 years. | So, don't know if this is the right sub but I wanted to know if I have a problem.
I hire the same girl every year on my birthday to just spend the day with me. Her name is (beth).
I had a girlfriend 3 years ago but she left me and I've never dated since.
My family doesn't contact me ever And I'm basically alone.
I've tried dating but for some reason women don't like me or I get the vibe they don't. So I just stopped approaching them all together. I met beth 3 years ago I just didn't want to be alone anymore so I looked on the internet and found her and called her.
I asked her if she could just pretend to be my girlfriend for the day and she said OK. And ever since than I call and just pretend she's my girlfriend and this year she even called me and wanted to surprise me.
We just hang out and do stuff like go to the movies or we go eat somewhere and she even spends the night so I don't have to sleep alone. I really look forward every year to my birthday because I know I can spend it with someone and not by myself.
She even spent new year's with me even though I said she didn't have too but she said she wanted to. I don't know why I can't just be like everyone else and have a relationship with someone to care about me.
I just want to know is this normal?
I doubt anyone will comment but if you do thanks. | I hire an escort on my birthday every year is it normal. |
t3_2e7pce | Advice | Advice on how to make friends after all of my former friends ditched me? | Hi, so I'm going into grade 10 high school, and last year a lot of my "friends" excluded and ignored me, even though they were kinda nice in previous years. I've known a lot of these people since grade 6/7, and most of them were nice enough since then to be friends with me. Unfortunately, in grade 9 art, one of my "friends" was CONVINCED I had copied her idea (I honestly didn't, as I had come up with the idea and sketched it in the beginning of the year) and got all of many people to distrust me, and I had no friends. But, even before then, I never had felt part of the group, and many times they invited everyone to hang out, or go to parties, but only excluded me. I am also in the gifted program with all of these girls, and so we will always be in the same classes. They also talked extensively and made jokes referencing the times they hung out without me right in my face, as if I had been there. I have no idea whether this is purposeful or not. This is actually ALL the girls in my classes, so it'll be pretty hard to make new friends, and I AM friends with a couple boys, but they play lots of PC games (that I don't play) during lunch and stuff, so it's pretty hard to hang out with them. Also, I don't really connect with many other girls because I hate makeup/talking about boys/shopping/etc. What should I do? I'm very nervous about the new school year. (note: it's not that I'm bad at making friends/antisocial. When I had to go to a new school for only a month, I clicked with some people and immediately was accepted into their group)
(oops this is a repost because i accidentally put it into the wrong subreddit...) | friends ditched me, dont know if can make good friends next year, very worried about new school year |
t3_1ek1q4 | legaladvice | Can a former employee solicit her competing business to our customers legally? | I live in CT and work for a grooming salon within a corporate pet supply chain.
A former employee of the salon has opened up her own grooming salon up the street (done so purposefully since she has bragged about it) and is now coming into our store and handing out her business cards to any grooming customer she sees.
We've been told by regulars that she has mailed them out coupons. This suggests that she may have taken customer information before leaving the company.
What I'm wondering is if it's legal for her to come into our store and take our customers? She has been caught stealing from us and won't come in when certain managers are around. She also sends her employees to hand out cards as well. | Former employee is soliciting her business at our store. Openly telling people not to use or grooming services. Is it legal? |
t3_31gd0i | relationships | So I (18/M) have been considering taking an action which might be unethical | So there's this girl (19/F) who I really like. Now she wants to just be friends with me for now but I think that eventually she might realise that we're right for each other.
Now there's this other guy (21/M) who I know she likes but I don't think he's really even noticed her. When I see her fawning over him I feel like punching something, I feel anger in my gut.
Now I think if I talk to this guy and ask for his help. then he'll help me and not be interested in her and even point her towards me. However, part of me feels like if it works then I'll always feel guilty and also if she finds out what I did then my chances will go from very low to zero as she'll be angry with me. So what do you guys think? I am an arsehole for even considering this? Be honest with me. | I'm considering trying to ruin a girl's chances with a guy so she'll notice me. |
t3_2i923u | self | Me and my 2 sisters had drug and alcohol fuelled sex on vacation.. (NSFW) | my younger sister and I share this account.
One younger, one older. We decided to all pitch in and rent a little cottage out in the middle of nowhere for 1 week and just hang out. then we got bored and just wanted to get drunk or whatever.
But..
We literally did not sleep at all and ate very little for 5 days. I can hardly remember what happened. All I remember is a lot of drugs, drinking and sex. Sex. With my sisters. We're not even the least bit ashamed about it though. It's so weird, we just don't care. I don't even remember how it started or who initiated, but I had sex with both of them individually AT LEAST 15 times each. It couldn't have been any less than that.
There has to be at least 50 photos just on my phone alone and 11 videos of us performing sex acts on each other. And what's weird is, none of us care. We liked it when we were high as fuck on meth and cocaine, and we like it now. I live with my younger sister and we still have sex regularly. My older sister Comes over every weekend to visit us and our mom, and we still have sex. (when my mom isn't there of course)
But the bad part is, we made some into gifs and uploaded them TO THIS WEBSITE lol like /r/gonewild, /r/incest and others.. I forget. But We. Were. Messed. Up. And they're still up online. | went on a 1 week getaway with my sisters, a drug binge, had copious amounts of sex with them and we're still normal around each other. No awkwardness. |
t3_3jeuk0 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girl friend [23 F] of 6 months: I somewhat said my major is harder than hers. | We were talking about summer classes, which are notoriously hard. I was talking about how I can't do 12 hours next summer (2 classes in each mini semester) because they are hard. She had taken one summer class for her major (art, it was a upper level drawing class) and said summer classes are a breeze. I said my classes ( upper level business and management) will have more material to cover and that I've heard on every account that summer classes are not a breeze. She then said that I think my classes are harder to which I replied that there is more material to cover basically claiming that yes, they are harder. She is saying that she has worked very hard! I am very aware of that. I told her that I'm sorry for thinking her class was easier, that I don't think her degree is easier, and that I'm sorry if it came off like that.
She is upset with me and thinks that I don't think she works as hard and is taking an easy major. That I hold my self higher. I don't think any of this, I didn't put too much thought in what I was saying.
What do I tell her to make her trust that I do in fact know she works just as hard as me? | Made a stupid remark saying my business degree is harder than her art degree. I want to retract and her to believe me. |
t3_4bgcx8 | relationships | I [27 F] am worried I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving my boyfriend [26 M] of almost 3 years | I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago.
We broke up in the past once before. I dumped him because I felt he wasn't motivated enough and didn't do enough in life. I also unfortunately started dabbling in opiates and wasn't sure the break up wasn't influenced by my clouded thinking.
We got back together and I started taking suboxone. The only issue was I couldn't get off of it and have become physically dependent. I started seeing a counselor for a few weeks but ended up not being able to afford it. Although I have been seeing a psychiatrist I started slipping pretty bad. He knows about my past substance abuse and the suboxone.
Initially when we got back together things were really great. We worked hard to keep a clean and orderly home. Listened to each other and compromised. He even went out of his way to make me feel special and started doing little nice things to make me feel appreciated.
But i got really depressed and I started sleeping all the time and not eating. When i wasnt at work I was asleep. This bothered him, I could tell, and he really began to pull away. I felt like a nuisance and I felt unloved. And I broke up with him
It's been three weeks and he is all I think about. He didn't want me to leave and honestly, I don't think I really wanted to either.
I don't know what to do. I know that being depressed can cloud anyone's thinking, but I don't know if I made the right decision. He was my world. And he still is. I just want to vomit this hurts so much.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub. I don't have anyone to talk to. I just miss him so much. | not sure if my depression caused me to break up with my boyfriend or if I made the right decision. I don't know what to do. Should I reach out to him? |
t3_zkvp7 | relationship_advice | Does this count as cheating? Need some clarification | Hey everyone,
As on Monday, things between an ex girlfriend and I had ended on what I thought at that point was due to the academic challenges that we would face because of the start of college. Really, the academic excuse seemed very false the next day, as I noticed she left her facebook account on my ipod and had also got a message from a guy she had hung out with on the Friday before the break up rather than even contacting me.
Out of this conversation from the last week of our relationship, one thing stuck out to me the most. First, the guy said he wanted to hook up with her, but said she knew she had a boyfriend (me) and didn't wanna do anything because of it,the ex then went on to say I respect you for that. But then said "Exactly. Lol. But can I be honest with you? At first, before I really knew any of you guys, I was kinda interested in Nate, But now you and I have gotten to be close and I just don't know how I feel about anyone. And I don't wanna do anything rational because tomorrow, I will be single."
From that, I basically got that she was interested in 2 other guys in the span of a week, and even openly told one of them. To be honest, I feel like that is cheating on me in someway, such as an emotional affair or whatever it may be. Regardless, am I right in feeling I was cheated on in some way? I'd just like to know as some clarification. | Found ex's convo, said she's interested to a new guy on FB in a chat convo during the last week of our relationship, is this cheating? |
t3_sfndw | AskReddit | If I submit an original photo to Reddit, via Imgur or another site (as is the norm), do I loose rights to it? | I have submitted original photos before (on this and another account). Now, I have some interesting (to some) historical/family photos I'd like to share. If I were to post these, can I protect myself and my family from an outcome wherein an image gets used by a person or corporation to sell some product for personal profit, or an outcome wherein a person or corporation uses the photo to promote some political/ideological objective that is unpalatable. [Note: in case your curiosity is piqued, these photos aren't all that interesting -- grandpa dancing (during WW11), my grandma as a child being held by a mafia guy. They are neat photos, but not earth-shattering. It's just that I don't believe them to be my personal property so much as familiar community property, so I want to be fully aware of the relative costs and benefits of sharing (and to be able to discuss this with my relevant family members, if there are risks involved).] | If I share family photos on Reddit, do I maintain intellectual property rights over them? |
t3_3wvm6z | relationships | Me [25 M] with my fiance [24 F] of three years, she wants to post to certain sites, need advice. | I have been with this girl for three years now, we've discussed marriage and she happily accepted my proposal last month. Lately she's been talking to guys and flirting with them which I've generally been ok with because we're in an open relationship.
Recently however she's been telling me she wishes to post pics of herself to x-rated sites and when I ask why she says "I just want the extra attention." I said I'd think about it and with our wedding a few months away I'm finding it odd that shes been looking for all this extra attention online. She swears its just to feel good about herself but I'm not sure what to think.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Texas-Toast. | Fiance wants to post pics of herself to porn sites, what do I do? |
t3_11yybw | relationship_advice | I [21/m] want sex, she [17/f] doesn't want until she's an adult | She says that it's a rule within her family not to have sex before the 18th birthday. I've been waiting for 4 months now and I have to wait another 4 months before she turns 18.
I am all against planning a date to have sex as it takes the spontaneity away, which I believe is important.
I thought we had arranged somewhat of a deal when we'd meet in the middle but now she's suddenly all like:" Remember the family rule I spoke about? I still want to adhere to that." Which is not what we agreed on.
Furthermore she's coming up with all kinds of bullshit on how it wouldn't be allowed according to the law, which is total bullshit and even calls me a pedophile.
I asked myself honestly if I could wait for that long and the answer was that I could but that I am somehow afraid that my constant sexual innuendos I'd then communicate ( talk??? No idea, English isn't my first language) would annoy her so much she'd break up.
What should I do or say? | Her family rule states no sex before reaching 18. Been waiting for 4 months and another 4 months to go until she's 18. We had agreed on meeting in the middle, she's now referring again to family rule. She comes up with sex being illegal in our situation. I think that waiting for so long would make me say all kinds of sexual innuendos that would drive her crazy. What do? |
t3_2vmhvr | tifu | TIFU by staying on campus to study | Not only did I get out of work 15 minutes early, but my dance rehearsal got canceled as well. Before I knew it, I had an opening in my schedule, so I chose to be academically productive instead of visiting and most likely sleeping with this friend of mine. My partner became bitter after I would not follow through to "study" with her, ironic..
Twenty minutes go by before I find an open spot where I could comfortably study. As I open my laptop, I notice that it only had an hour and 15 minutes of battery left. Only after 25 minutes of working was completed until my laptop reported 1 minute remained. I packed up and left.
As I get to the bus stop, all the seats were taken, leaving several others and myself standing in close proximity to each other's backpacks. Standing usually is not a problem for me; however, this particular bus driver's sharp and rigid driving became increasingly more irritating after each bus stop.
To my surprise, I notice this cute, innocent girl struggling to maintain her balance on the bus. I'm definitely sure she noticed that I kept glancing over at her. It was only to appreciate her uncanny cuteness(:
After the first bus stop, seats opened up and I grabbed a middle seat to allow those behind me to exit. A girl grabs a seat besides me and calls to her friend... the one I thought was remarkably cute.
I give up my middle seat to the cute girl and take the seat beside it. As the bus moves to the next stop, I over hear them talking about a guy, sounding almost like they were hinting at something. While these murmurs were going on, I notice them clearly glancing over at me through the reflection of the adjacent bus windows.
This seemed like a obvious second chance to meet a girl I found attractive. So I looked over, introduce myself, and learned their names.
My stop was coming so I asked the cute girl if she wanted to hang out. Her bubbly cuteness died faster than my laptop battery. She slowly responded with "Oh... I have... A.. boyfriend... no."
I stand up, embarrassed as the other passengers laugh at my misfortune, and parted ways. | I chose to study, but ended up getting rejected on the bus. |
t3_4xxh0b | relationships | My [30F] husband [30M] and I have an opportunity to move and work in a remote/resort location. Should we go for it? | Background: My husband and I both work(ed) full-time career jobs. We have no kids. We combined our finances very young, and now have a good amount of savings (nothing crazy huge, but a decent amount).
My husband was laid-off from his job a couple of weeks ago. Throughout our marriage, we've always talked about doing some type of "adventure" job - teaching English abroad, working in a national park, etc.
A opportunity has came up. We've worked out budgets, etc., and are able to do it. We'd have to give up our careers and work service-based positions. We have no issue with it, but it's still very scary taking the leap. We're concerned about what happens when we want to return to "normal" life, etc.
At the resort job, we would make significantly less, but everything would be paid for (housing, meals, etc.) so we would have no costs. We would also be able to make a small amount of money by renting our house when we are gone.
Any advice or tips on this? Thoughts? We are just scared and want to make the right decision. | Married couple with opportunity to change career, but could be a downgrade. Should we take it? |
t3_dpx88 | AskReddit | Males of reddit, how do you hide a reoccurring erection over a period of several hours? | So here's the situation, in a few weeks my girlfriend and I will be attending a dance (Homecoming for our high school, both of us are seniors) and I get a wowzers in my trousers every time we touch. Even just a hug. God, I'm attracted to her...wait, what? Oh right, boner.
So I'm definitely going to be getting stiff throughout the night and I'd like to avoid pitching a tent, as that would be quite embarrassing. We go to a very small school and there will probably be less than 100 people at the dance. Oh, and the teachers walk around on grind patrol and make sure every thing is descent.
The issue isn't my girlfriend knowing, that would probably flatter her, and I'm sure she would like my little guy pressing against her during dancing. It's the walking around right after dance sessions I'm worried about.
Right, so I need a way to keep my hard-on tucked away somehow. The patented man waistband tuck only works (at least for me) when I get a spontaneous increase in blood flow to my member and I actively manipulate it to be tucked in the waistband. If I were to become flaccid, ol' helmet head will fall down and be ready to poke straight out at the next arousing activity. So the waistband tuck would not work for the entire night.
Guys, have you ever come across this problem, or come up with a solution? Only thing I can think of is taping him in an upward facing position, but I'm not sure how that would work out once full manhood was achieved... | Imma get a woody many times throughout the night and need to a way to hide it. |
t3_xmm7r | AskReddit | How do I deal with a Debbie Downer? | If you don't know what's a Debbie Downer, it's someone who sucks the fun out of everything that is enjoyable. And before you say "Stop being her friend", she's my sister who I live with. She constantly talks about disliking everyone and criticizes others all the time. Instead of focusing on the things she has, she always manages to get upset over the things she doesn't have. I've been patient and we're close but it's driving me crazy. My mood is becoming rotten too cause she's always upset about one thing or another. How can I deal while still being there for her? She doesn't have many friends. | Sister I live with is sucking away my good moods and happiness with her negativity. How do I deal? |
t3_4ubde3 | relationships | Me [18 M] waited to long to make a move on [17 F], she's now gone no-contact. | Here's the back story (I have posted parts of this before, you may recognize it).
I've known the girl for about a year or so, but we became a lot closer earlier this year. (she texted me out of the blue one day asking if I wanted to hang out, it snowballed quickly from there). She gave me all the signs that she wanted to date, literally, everything she did around me is like a flag that says 'date me please'.
We've hung out a few times, coffee, book stores, going to eat, even going over to her house for an entire day and watching 12 hours of movies.
To make a long story short, I waited too long to make a move. After she got back from a month long trip overseas, I went over to her house and had a wonderful evening with her family. However, I didn't ask her out.
Shortly after this, she stopped talking to me. This was strange to me as we had been friends for almost a year. I texted her one evening and she eventually told me out of nowhere she has a date lined up.
After my initial shock, I spilled everything and my feelings for her. Turns out she did love me too, but she thought I wasn't interested and "looked elsewhere".
I'm hurt. Broken. And depressed. The girl of my dreams was in my grasp but I let her get through.
This was exactly two weeks ago. I left her flowers and a very nice letter detailing my feelings for her (plus a little gift). I got a text thanking me, and that's it. No contact since.
I was best friends with this person for almost three months, constant texting and talking. Now just nothing. Her birthday is coming up and I'm confused as to what to do, I'm not ready to move on just yet. The guy she went out with is moving 1000 miles north for school in two weeks too -- that relationship won't last.
Confused on what my next steps should be, I don't want to lose her. | Waited too long to make a move on girl, she moved on to another guy that I know she won't date for long. Wondering what I should do. |
t3_fcsiv | relationships | Can a 'fuck buddy' relationship turn into something more? | Hey Reddit,
I (M21) have been seeing this girl (22) off an on for about a year now. We're both at a University and enjoy going out to parties/raves/bars/clubs, coming home and having increasingly hotter sex. I don't really mind the fact that shes a total attention whore and loves to get hit on by guys all the time. I basically took her virginity and I trust that shes pretty loyal to me -even when I was studying in Europe for a few months. The less I care about what she does, the more she comes back to me.
What I find unusual about our relationship is the fact that she only likes to party on the weekends if we're doing something worthy of memory. If I don't have plans, she'll go out with her girlfriends (which she rarely does anything with besides party) or even go out with other guys for nights out which I trust are penetration-free.
I don't really mind this informal relationship when I was also concurrently dating a few other people, but the longer I stay with her, and the more I start to crave her company -but not to party with; just to get lunch with, go ice skating, skiing, study together, etc. While she'll agree to come hang out and do group activities if they sound fun, the more often I invite her to social events, the smaller my circle of potential girlfriends becomes (shes your stereotypical dumb blonde whose secretly smart as hell -I'm talking 4.0 biology major) and her immaturity and unwillingness to go out of her way to remember names/ make friends with people annoys a lot of girls. | I'm craving a relationship with my self centered girlfriend and can't reconcile the fact she doesn't want anything more. |
t3_pnba9 | AskReddit | The fire/smoke alarm in the apartment below me has been going off for close to 48 hours now, swiftly going from minor inconvenience to major problem. What can I do? | So, for the last 2 days there has been an alarm going off in the apartment below mine. It's the model apartment for the community, so nobody lives there to shut it off. The high pitched continuous tone essentially sounds like an alarm clock and even though I've submitted multiple emergency maintenance requests and spoken to the office/maintenance staff in person they haven't bothered to replace the battery or whatever it is that's causing it to ruin any chance I have of sleeping. So, it's come to this: I can't wear earplugs, as I would not be able to hear MY alarm then, and I don't have noise canceling headphones that will stay on long enough for me to get sleep. Yesterday it was a minor inconvenience, I could at least cover my head with pillows to drown it out and pass out for an hour or two while possible, but at this point it's going to affect my workday. Is there any recourse for this if it keeps going on? Can I go in there looking like Jack and Tyler Durden demanding to be compensated for every hour it has been going off? Or should I just call the cops and tell them there is a fire and they need to come check it out? | Alarm going off in apartment below mine, no one lives there to shut it off and the office can't/won't. Can I do anything about it besides complain? |
t3_24ka23 | relationships | My ex (23f) and I (23M) broke up about 2 months ago | We were dating for about 3 years and for the first 2 and a half years it was amazing.. but we moved in together and it seemed like everything went to hell. We were always fighting and arguing and near the end I was looking forward to going to work because it would get me away from her. I knew the relationship was toxic and bringing me down. It was really a mutual breakup and neither one of us really resented or was mad at the other.
Here comes my dilemma. I recently found out (again, 2 months later) that she is dating someone else now. I have been completely fine for the entire breakup, I go out regularly, hang out with my friends, and have had a romantic partner (but nothing more than sex, no emotion). All of the sudden, since finding out she is with someone else, I miss her to no end and I feel like I want her back.
I can calm myself down by reminding myself how unhappy I was with her at the end and how our relationship actually brought out the worst in both of us. Just looking for some advice on how to sort of get okay with the fact that she is dating someone, and maybe if we should stop talking and communicating all together. We still talk from time to time. | Broke up with my ex and was fine until I found out she was dating someone else. Now it bothers good. |
t3_14ep6k | relationship_advice | Girlfriend [34F] got really emotional when I [24M] got enthusiastic about sex, sex toys, exhibitionism, etc. | She's asian and pretty inexperienced sexually. I've spent most of my sex-active life exploring all sorts of stuff - fetishes, munches, toys, positions, etc. We went to a sex shop together - she was pretty comfortable with it and we had a great time looking over stuff and talking about what the toys are for, etc. Lots of giggling and fun.
Then we got to the lingerie section and she suggested having a pajama party with friends to break in our new apartment. I was really surprised and delighted that she would suggest this. So I asked her if she'd ever be ok with having sex in front of other people, just out of curiosity. She then got kind of quiet and closed off, and when we talked about it she got tears in her eyes from the thought that I'd be interested in having people watch us have sex.
I'm having a little trouble understanding why she feels that way (I didn't want to poke and prod at the situation because we JUST got over a pretty low low in our emotional roller-coaster) - so I'm looking for input from anyone else that might be able to shed some light on this response. | Girlfriend is comfortable in the sex shop until I ask if she's into exhibitionism. She got very upset that I would even consider it. Trying to understand why. |
t3_19u5pa | relationships | 29.9m, 27f, ex 31f, question on ex-etiquette | Current relationship is almost a month old, after 10 of pursuing as friends. Ex relationship was ~2.5 years, ended something like 3 years ago.
It may happen, at some point in the next few months if I had to guess, that my current gf and ex will meet. If it were to happen, it would most likely be planned. The gf has expressed passing interest in it, and the ex and I are on good, just very casual, terms. The ex doesn't know I have a gf.
My question comes from physical attractiveness. The ex is, not to be cruel, probably a 2-4 objectively speaking, while the gf is a 9-10. How do I deal with potential hurt feelings, self-consciousness, etc. of the ex? Or should I just not worry about it (I know, by default, not to bring it up; I'm not completely braindead....) | New gf is way hotter than ex, don't want ex (or anyone, but I'm less sure how to handle ex) to be self-conscious if/when they meet |
t3_4x1j70 | relationships | I [21F] feel stuck in my emotionally abusive marriage with my husband [24M] | My husband and I have been married for almost four years, we got married right after he joined the navy. We have a 1 1/2 year old son together, Jack. We own a home together as well.
I knew things were different with my husband after we got married. That's when his "true colors" started to show. He would get angry over stupid stuff. He would punch things a lot. I would find myself getting terrified if he got mad at me. Than, it just started getting worse.
He calls me names when he gets mad at me, all the time. "Dumbass, retarded, stupid, bitch." Just to name a few. He tells me to shut the f*ck up & to shut my f*cking mouth. He screams at me when he gets very angry. He has no problem yelling at me in front of our son. I have severe anxiety due to his emotionally abusive behavior. I feel useless, worthless. I feel stupid all the time. He even once threw a mixing bowl at me because he was angry at me. He threw my phone across the room once as well.
But, I feel stuck. If I were to leave, I would have to live with my mom & step dad. Which wouldn't be a bad thing, but I fear my son would be very freaked out if we moved out. He loves my husband as a father, and I don't Want to make him upset or hate me when he's older. I dream about leaving everyday, but I don't because I'm terrified of what he'd say to me, and because I don't want my son to hate me. My parents got divorced when I was a baby as well. But I was never close to my dad so it didn't even matter to me really.
Has anyone else left an emotionally abusive marriage? What should I do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | husband and I have been married four years, we have an 18 mo old son together. My husband can be very emotionally abusive, but I'm too scared to leave due to making my son upset or even hate me in the end because he loves my husband very Much. Please help. |
t3_2kzxxn | tifu | TIFU by letting my nephew watch a Madonna music video | First off, this didn't happen today. It didn't even happen in this decade. It happened five years ago when I was in high school and my brother was taking classes at the local community college. I also have to point out that he lived in a huge apartment complex with his two sons.
One night, I'm hanging out with my brother and my nephews. We're sitting around and watching TV, when we get hungry. My brother decides that he wants Chinese and runs out to get it with my older nephew, which leaves me and my younger nephew. At this point, he's 3 years old and is learning how to put together sentences. He's also very intelligent and he absorbs EVERYTHING he hears.
So, the television show we were watching ended and I felt like checking Facebook and going on Youtube. After going through several videos, I landed on Madonna's "Like a Prayer" music video and I, of course, love Madonna, so we watch it. It gets to the part where black Jesus is kissing Madonna. My nephew looks up at me and asks who the guy is. I tell him it's black Jesus and he doesn't ask anything else, so I assume he's lost interest. The music video ends, my brother and nephew get back with the food, I decide to head out and hang out with friends.
Fast forward to a few days later. My brother is walking home from classes with his little one in tow. He gets to the apartment complex and is a couple of doors down from his, when a black guy walks out from one of the doors. My nephew looks up, sees him and yells: "**HI, BLACK JESUS!**" My brother and the other guy freeze and stare at my nephew, who is smiling innocently. Finally, the black guy looks at my brother and says, "Did he just call me black Jesus?" My brother was speechless and couldn't form words. (I like to think that he stood there with his mouth opening and closing). Finally the guy just walks away, shaking his head. My brother called me right after and demanded to know why his son just said "Hi, Black Jesus." to one of his neighbors. | Black Jesus leaves you in awkward situations. |
t3_vscya | AskReddit | How do I tell someone I don't like them back. | Name = Person (Age) K = Me (17) A = Girl I like (17) P = Girl that likes me (17)
K and A both like eachother. K and A would both be together but P has liked K for 5 years. K and A are both good friends with P. K isn't supposed to know about this 5 year crush. K and P are going to the movies in 2 days to see Brave. K plans to tell P what is on his mind after the movie. P is also K's ride home. What does K say to P so K and A can both be together? | K and A like eachother. K is under dibs by P. K needs to tell P he doesn't like P like that. What does K say to P? |
t3_2eg7jr | relationships | Me [26 M] with my EX/GF [26 F] 1 year, "Cheated" 6 months in but says we were never "exclusive" till i brought it up 2 week later when i said i loved her. | This is a pretty insane scenario. And i honestly just want to make sure i'm not the insensitive one.
I met my EX/GF in Late may 2013. She told me she hadn't had sex with anyone except her ex in the one year prior. I asked for STD reasons. She told me no one but her Ex.
Fast forward to February '14, I found out she had one FWB who she "ended it with" right as we got together in May '13. Then just yesterday I find out then she had sex with two guys in November. One week apart, she used a condom for one but not the other. They were both previous FWB.
She said she was frustrated with us, and felt neglected, I was trying to change jobs at the time and Battlefield 4 had just come out. So i was seeing her less then normal. I also had horrible ED issues for the first 6 months or so (She was my first lover, so i lost my virginity to her). I know that destroyed her and her confidence, but she honestly was so fantastic with helping me through it. I have even thought about cutting her slack because of how forgiving she was of my short comings.
We didn't use condoms normally once we were both tested. So this is what my major issue is. That and she never told me she fucked them till i accidentally found out. So i could have caught something from the dude she didn't use the condom with. However, i honestly think she took fish antibiotics as a precaution.
I told her i loved her in late November, and she swears she realized she loved me too at that moment and hasn't fucked anyone since. This is factual, proven by her Google Location tracker (also how i found out she cheated).
I obviously told her to go home, blocked her on Facebook and deleted her number but I just wanted to make she i wasn't the insane one. I mean, after 6 months you consider yourself a "thing" right? Like a monogamous thing? | Girlfriend was frustrated with my ED and felt neglected 6 months in, we didnt have the "offical" talk at all till late November. Sex has since been fantastic. She had sex with two dudes in the begining of november, and she hasn't done anything crazy since. Am i insane for cutting her off? |
t3_38qpee | relationships | Me [23F] with my manager [28M], is this illegal or just massively not cool? | I work in a restaurant. Let me start by saying that the turnover rate here is insane. Aside from the manager, Derek, nobody who currently works there has been there longer than 8 months. People get fired and quit constantly because of how this place is run. In fact, every single one of our cooks simultaneously up and quit on Monday.
The owners and management are unprofessional and hostile; I've been cussed out and seen others cussed out in front of customers. My manager constantly puts me down and tries to degrade me in front of the rest of our co-workers. I am very easy to get along with and I bust my ass so hard there, so I'm not sure why he treats me this way, but that is neither here nor there I guess.
The issue: my manager loves write-ups. Even the tiniest mistakes result in a write-up; everyone has at least some on their file, some people have a ton. It sucks but I understand it's important to have as much of that stuff on file as possible for legal reasons.
What I'm not cool with is the new write-up policy Derek announced yesterday. Instead of writing us up, mistakes will now be punished with us not getting any tips. This seems massively unfair. We also pool tips there, so that creates incentive for people to screw each other over or wish write-ups on their co-workers because then their share of tips will increase a shit ton. What kind of work environment is that?
Can he do this? | Manager at restaurant has replaced write-ups with taking away our tips. I think it's fucked up. Is it even allowed? |
t3_3nppk3 | relationships | Me [27 F] with my ex-husband [28 M] married 6, together 9, when does the pain stop? | We're in the middle of a divorce. Just filed last month. He's already in a new relationship. I just can't date. The divorce did not happen because of foul play. If anything, we're still friends and emotionally supportive of each other. There are no hard feelings involved. We just want different things in life.
But when does the pain stop? When does it end? Some days are ok, and others will hit me hard. The realization this is my life hurts. I've accepted the past and present, but I can't see my future anymore. All I feel is pain.
I don't want to hurt anymore. I've been seeing a therapist the past four months. It helps somewhat, but the pain is still there. I still cry. | How do I make the pain go away? |
t3_1c08fc | AskReddit | Women of reddit - I am writing a book about menopause and I would like to hear your story | Rare are the kitchen table congregations where women share their life experiences with each other, where formerly was offered the needed support and wisdom, thus allowing a woman to enter the menopause transition with more understanding and less fear.
For this reason I am in the process of writing a book about menopause. I am hoping to interview 1000 women to gain insight about their individual journeys. I would like to know what have your personal challenges been with the transition? Do you have wisdom to share with younger generations about the process?
I would be so grateful for your participation. My intention is to build a virtual table and share the wisdom of your anonymous stories. | I am writing a book on menopause and looking for some stories. |
t3_36dwen | tifu | TIFU by making a gonewild poster think I knew who she was (honest mistake) | So every now and then I message one of the posters on gonewild and see if I can get some banter going. Normally not a great time investment but I was bored and I've stayed in contact with several girls that I've met there before so whatever. Anyway, this girl was telling me about how she majored in art and we joked about her composing her photos. Fast-forward a few hours later, I'd been doing some day-drinking and I decided to message her again to ask if there was a chance she'd visit a certain art museum in my city. Seriously was thinking about how she had talked about being an art major earlier but soon after noticed she deleted her account. It was then that it dawned on me...she probably received so many messages that she didn't remember telling anyone she was an art major. Moreover, there was a chance she actually does live in my city (it's an art hub) and she thought she'd been discovered....
So anyway, I hope there's not a nice girl (who is still anonymous) out there who thinks someone knows she posted to GW. | Messaged a cute naked girl with good intentions, incited panic. |
t3_1xm6kk | relationships | My boyfriend [25M] loves me and I [20F] don't love him back and I'm not sure that I will. What should I do? | We've been dating for about 9 months, so its not really too soon for him to say that and I think its sincere. He's been trying to imply it for the last few weeks (Saying things like "that's one of the many things that I love about you" and calling me 'my love.'). This morning while cuddling he told me that he loved me and I said 'ok.' I wasn't really sure what to say. I feel really guilty because I don't love him back and I'm worried I won't ever really fall in love with him. I like spending time with him and he makes me extremely happy, but it has been 9 months and I'm not feeling that type of 'love' feeling. I'm really concerned about continuing the relationship because I don't want to waste his time or lead him on - I almost feel like he should find somebody who appreciates him as much as he appreciates me. What should I do? It seems wrong to break up with him because he says he loved me, and I don't want to because I really like him and he makes me really happy. But, I care about him a lot and I don't want to hurt him even more by prolonging this before perhaps an inevitable end. | My boyfriend loves me and I don't feel the same way. I don't want to hurt him/waste time by prolonging the relationship when I might never feel that way about him, but at the same time I don't want to end things because I do really like him and we make each other really happy. |
t3_303u4f | relationships | My bestfriend (M/17) is going out with the girl (F/16) I (M/16) like (love?) | So there was this girl I knew since 7th grade, our parents were friends, and I liked her ever since. I've never been in a relationship at all, but I hoped it would be with her. I gave that girl my first kiss and almost lost my virginity to her in the same day, I guess we were just experimenting and fooling around, she told me to never to bring it up. I know I'm only 16 but I think I'm in love with her. My best friend since freshman year apparently liked her as well. Even though I told him that I had a massive crush on her. The worst part is that he asked her out and she accepted. He barely even knows her as well as I do! He's only had a few classes and that's it! It's been a week and they're publicly making out and all his buddies are asking him if they've fucked, and all he does is just wink. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. The moment he did it I angrily went to him and asked for an explanation and he said, "Sorry, but you've had your chance, friends?" AFTER BACKSTABBING ME HE HAD THE NERVE TO ASK ME TO STAY AS FRIENDS! I haven't talked to her about it, as I think she's been avoiding confrontations with me, she knew I held a torch for her for a long time. I hate life, feel lIke nothings worth it and just dragging my feet everywhere. | My best friend took my first love away and now I'm depressed |
t3_2lw1pl | relationships | Me [28 M] with my GF [24 F] of almost 1 year, need help with 1 year dating anniversary and Christmas gifts. | My girlfriend and I have been dating for close to a year and we will be celebrating the date in early December. I am planning on getting her a gift to mark this special date, but with Christmas right around the corner I see some complications that could arise. I have budgeted for the gifts and I want to make sure I get this right. I have about $400 to split between the two gifts. Should I split the $400 equally on a gift for each occasion or should I spend more on one opposed to the other. Both are important in my eyes and I want to make sure that she has something nice for both, but I'm unsure weather or not one carries more weight than the other. Any advice given would be greatly appreciated! Thanks! | Should I spend more money for our 1 year dating anniversary or Christmas? |
t3_26b6rf | relationships | How can I [29F] be there for my boyfriend [29M] of three years, during the last days of his grandmothers life? | Well my boyfriend and I have a pretty great relationship, we're open with each other and we communicate well enough that we don't have to fight. When we disagree on something it gets resolved before it turns to anger.
His grandmother isn't doing well, she's got some form of dementia and he's just found out today that she's stopped eating/drinking. We know it probably won't be much longer. When he got the phone call from his mom he wouldn't tell me what was going on. He was visibly upset about something, and when I asked if everything was ok he just said "Yeah." I was admittedly being a little self-centered and have since apologized to him about it, but I was hurt that he didn't want to confide in me. He didn't even want to tell me what was going on. He eventually did tell me, and that's how I know now.
I want to be there for him, but he won't talk to me about it. I don't want to force it either so I don't bring it up, but I also don't want it to seem like I don't care that he's hurting by just avoiding the subject.
I just don't know what to do, or if I should do anything at all. | Normally open and communicative boyfriend shut off communication when he found out his grandmother is at the end of her life, I don't know if I should do anything. |
t3_3s8gb5 | relationship_advice | I [17/m] don't want to make her [16/f] think I just used her for sex | So, I met this girl on a dating app and I thought I liked her a lot. I hung out with her and had an okay time. We ended up getting really stoned and having sex (my first time). I don't really think a relationship could work because she live kind of far away and she is kind of a mess emotionally. I don't really know how to tell her that I don't really want to be in a relationship with her without sounding like I just used her for sex. I like her as a person, but I don't find her that attractive or really compatible. Advice? | I had sex with a girl I thought I really liked, now I don't really like her and don't want her to think I just used her for sex. |
t3_1dz55i | relationships | BF(30) of 4 years becomes weirdly hostile when upset with me(31) even when the problem is minor | When my boyfriend is upset, he becomes rude, loud, and hostile. It's bizarre to me because that's just not my personality, and I am passive and willing to please (i.e. hostility=unnecessary because I don't mind apologizing/altering my behavior if he tells me calmly that he's bothered by something, even if the bother seems silly).
The problem is, the hostility is a deal breaker for me, and it occurs not only when I've upset him, but if I try to explain that he has upset me... Then he will bring up problems he's had with me in the past and yell and accuse me of things I haven't even actually done until I break down. It's not even like and apology suffices... Eventually I'll cease wanting to talk to him and then (after increased anger) suddenly he'll behave normally. If I respond nicely (which I do because I am willing to let bygones be bygones if he drops the hostility, he acts like nothing happened.
I never would have gotten romantically involved if I'd had an inkling he was this way, but he behaved entirely differently when we had conflicts as platonic friends.
This will be a deal breaker if it doesn't change... Who has experienced someone's attitude towards conflict changing so drastically from making the jump from friends to lovers? At first I thought it would go away with time... But it hasn't. What, if anything, can I do? Talking about it just triggers the hostility... | Reasonable, communicative friend ends up being hostile, walled-off bf. Help! |
t3_2p9gmw | relationships | My [30 M] my 'partner' [30 F] 8-months, on-off. I've gone away on vacation, I can't get in touch with her. | A long-story short, I've been in an on-off relationship with a girl for the past 8-months. It's always been on her terms. She comes from a bit of a troubled childhood and has emotional scars that she still carries around.
I know she's a history of short relationships, but she's always been very secretive as to why they ended. She described herself as complicated and seems to enjoy the fact she's "not easy".
Before I left for vacation, things were on. The night I was leaving, she withdrew from me entirely - claiming she was in a bad mood. I assume this was because I was perhaps going. As I l left, she opened up a little and wished me a good time but things didn't feel right. She left me a note in my bag saying she would miss me.
Now I've arrived, she's been unreachable. I can't send her a message using iMessage/WhatsApp - they simply aren't delivered. Ok, maybe her phone ran out of battery, she lost it. Well, I sent her an email as well, and I know she's been online as she was signed into FB.
Tomorrow, I will literally be off of the radar for 2-weeks and not reachable at all. This makes me especially nervous as I gave her the key to my place to stay in while I am away and said she can borrow my computer while I am away.
She's obviously giving me very strong signals that she wants distance, but I feel very insecure. Should I try once again to contact her before I leave? I'd really like to speak to her before I go, but don't want to come across as being too needy and not respecting her space (which was a problem between us). | Partner won't speak to me, I'm going away for two-weeks. What to do? |
t3_2khqc6 | relationships | I (27M) do not understand my wife (25F) of 3 years, does this make sense to anyone else? | 1. She yells and screams at me (to the point she loses her voice), says mean things, but then wants me to come give her a hug once she cools off. She gets mad at me when I don't, I tell her I don't because I am scared, she then gets mad at me for not being manly enough.
2. She kicks me out of the house, so I go to my buddy's place, then she demands to know everything that happened when I was there and what he said and what I said.
3. She also gets angry because I don't reach out to her by texting her after she kicks me out of the house (I never want to leave in the first place). She says she kicks me out of the house so I can fight to win her back and for the relationship.
4. She refuses to see any type of psychologist or marriage counselor.
Can anyone help me understand fi this is normal or common behavior? | I think my wife is irrational and needs help. |
t3_1omx5s | offmychest | I am so damn lucky | After first long term relationship ends (which I was in for the wrong reasons and it was mutual) I meet a girl that makes me feel super happy.
We have both talked about our mutual feelings but that we want to experience the single life again for a bit....here's the kicker though....She wants it! Like what?!?!??! Was basically told I get the FWB tonight
I mean....I am...a BIG GUY, 6ft, overweight, tall, dark hair, dark eyes, handsome in the right light, and have always had self esteem issues...but the cover of having confidence finally worked...This girl...stunning, smart, SMALL like 4'9 121 lbs with all the right curves.
#on cloud9
So happy right now, and honestly, thank you reddit, I have lurked among the many forum posts of dating advice and relationship advice to help me finally find what I really want and be happy again and it has all come to really help me. Sadly I cannot tell many people of this so I have to tell it hear | Finally get to hook up with someone super awesome. Thanks reddit and Anything I should be worried about? |
t3_3ts722 | relationships | Music makes me (18f) very very depressed | Today was a good day. I talk to my friend from high school. I listen to this song that I like for like three hours on repeat and it is so beautiful and speaks to my soul that I feel euphoric for four hours, and now I'm suddenly so depressed. Like cut my wrists depressed. I don't fucking get it. I didn't do anything to make this happen. Fuck, I hate this. I can't make it stop. It's all in my head, and it's not real emotions.
Don't tell me to seek help. Fuck that. That has never worked. They can't help me. It's not real, it's chemical imbalances, it's not possible for it to be real. Why can't I be fucking normal?
I don't know what else to say. | Depressed AF uni student |
t3_v8cz4 | AskReddit | How do you prove you are you, if people don't believe you are the person in your own ID? | My girlfriend and I travelled to Las Vegas for a family wedding. The after party was at Tao Nightclub, supposedly one of the goto clubs in Vegas.
When we finally got to the front of the line, the bouncer "taobted" it was her picture on her own ID, and wouldn't let her in the club. The sad part is he was a jerk about it.
The bouncer took us to the head bouncers, and the head bouncer made her asked her to smile to verify the picture. He "taobted" it was her saying the chin was different. This guy was also a jerk about it.
(You'd think the bouncers would be a little more harmonious about it, since the nightclub is named Tao. Maybe this is a new form of Taoism;/.)
We took it up to a manager, and showed him her ID, Drivers Licence, and a Bank Card. The manager was more cordial and didn't appear to "taobt" us. But he said these Bouncers are professionally trained, and if they are not comfortable with the ID, it is their call. (If they can't decipher a real person and their ID, I'd say their training is subpar.)
Suffice it to say, we travelled all this way to have it ruined. At least the wedding party had a blast! It was their day after all.
The irony is that my GF and I don't prefer these type of nightclubs, but we were going to support and spend time with family and friends. Furthermore, we have been of age for nearly a decade! | Bouncers didn't believe my GF was her in her ID. |
t3_477nqz | relationships | Did my girlfriend[20F] and I[24 M] define our relationship too soon? | We're both college students that share a class together. We made it official after only 2 weeks of dating. She's been in 2 relationships whereas I've been in none. (I dated two other people before meeting her though). We've made out several times and she has even given me head. However, it hasn't been purely sexual. We spend most of our time on campus together (we have six hour breaks) and have been on two great dates so far.
My best friend says that we're moving too fast, while another one says we aren't. My girlfriend has even expressed reservations about our relationship as she fears that I'm simply infatuated with her. I've reassured her that I'm not.
There's a level of trust, honesty, loyalty and communication between us that simply hasn't been there with other people. She makes me feel comfortable to the point where I feel like I've known her my entire life. She's someone I can confide in as she's an incredibly caring, patient, and understanding person. She's embraced all of my geeky interests instead of judging me.
These are qualities I look for and value in a partner. I'm not a people person. I hate people. I was bullied throughout the majority of my childhood so it has made me incredibly distrustful of people.
Also, she may be 20 but she acts more like someone my age. | Became boyfriend and girlfriend in about 2 weeks followed by groping and oral sex soon after. Should I be worried that we're moving too fast? |
t3_109m17 | personalfinance | Somewhat of a clean slate, and I have no idea how or where to start. | I will summarize as best I can. I live in California, and Since 2005, my parents have had complete control of me financially. Between 2005-08 four properties (one in Dubai), a couple of large loans, and a car lease were all purchased under my name. Needless to say, due to the economy, everything tanked. Three of the four properties were foreclosed upon, the car lease was repossessed, and debt collectors were calling me 20x a day. During this time, 1/3 of my wages are being garnished for back taxes, and we are buried in debt and bills. Last summer I filed for bankruptcy and it was finally granted at the beginning of this year. I have no bank account, no credit cards, and the only thing I have left under my name is the house we reside in now-and the loan out on it is being refinanced. I can honestly say that I have no idea how or where to start from scratch. I never ever want to find myself in this miserable position again. Financial gurus of Reddit, where do I start? What are the best banks/credit unions I should look into? Should I file for any credit cards? Do I have any limitations because of my bankruptcy? What should I look for, and what should I avoid? Any and all advice is greatly appreciated! | FILED BANKRUPTCY AFTER YEARS OF FINANCIAL RUIN. NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT! |
t3_t8tp8 | AskReddit | Is it normal for a girlfriend to act this way? | Hi Reddit,
Hope you can help me get proper perspective. I have only had a small number of girlfriends, so I don't know what "normal" behavior is. The situation is this: Yesterday, my girlfriend called me to plan her weekend. As it happened, she woke me up when she called, so I was not thinking completely clearly. She told me that she wanted to meet with me on Sunday to do some things, but she needed to know how to arrange her time not spent with me. I told her to go ahead and plan the other things, then we would arrange with the remaining time, since I was unsure how much work I would need to do over the weekend. Later that night, I sent her a message that I was going out for a beer with my coworkers. I then tried calling her, and she didn't answer, nor did she answer a text later that night, or one the next day. She finally called back late tonight, and she was extremely mad that I had been so disrespectful to her. She apparently is angry that I disrespected her by not telling her what to do on Sunday, and then that I went out after telling her I had a lot of work to do on Friday (the occasion was that a coworker finally accomplished something she had been attempting for about 3 years). This is not the first argument we have had, just the most recent, and all of them seem to come at times when I behave in what I consider to be a rational way, and then she ends up attacking me on a point that I barely even comprehend. When she is angry this way, she attacks me in ways like, "if you can't even handle this, then maybe you should find a woman you can handle better," and "if you wanted to do something with me, you should have thought about that before you were so disrespectful to me." I feel like it is all just a misunderstanding, but maybe I am really in the wrong? But even so, I don't understand why she is threatening to break up over something that, to me, seems really minor. Is this normal for a relationship?
If clarity is needed, I will provide. | gf says I'm disrespectful to her; I don't know know what I did. |
t3_1fdqfe | relationships | My friends [22F] (my best friend) and [24M] (good friend) are engaged; she is very moody and mean to him at times. How do I handle this? | They have been engaged a few months. I have been friends with them for a few years.
I am their roommate. He is a laid back guy. She is organized and, at times, rude. If she calls, he better pick up. If he misses her call (he missed it tonight because he was vacuuming) she will ignore him the whole night and yell at him when she gets home.
I know it is because she is stressed at her job. But she takes it out on all of us if she is in a bad mood. I have tried talking to her about it. She will yell at you and pick every mean way to make you break. If you say she is being mean, she will say everyone is always against her and storm to her room and ignore you for a few days.
When she is not in this horrid state, she is an awesome person. But everytime she goes to work or gets the slightest bit agitated, she will be a monster when she comes home.
I can put up with it. I'm about to move, so I won't have to deal with it long. But her fiancé is a nice guy. I have become good friends with him over the last couple of years. How can I best help him? He doesn't deserve to be treated like this.
As I said, she will ignore every method of intervention. I can't talk to her about it, or she will take it out worse on everyone. I am at a loss of what to do here. | My friends [22F] [24M] are engaged. She at times takes all of her built up rage out on him. I can't interfere because she won't listen to me; I gave up trying to reason with her years ago. Don't know what to do. |
t3_2dexyq | relationships | Brink of breakup:My boyfriend and I just had a serious talk about long term or breakup, he said he needed more time to decide | My boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) just had a serious talk 4 days ago. I told him that he either moves to NYC or SF as discussed, or we break up. He said that he needed more time to think about this. I planned the conversation because I'm not sure if our relationship could be long term regarding the different personalities and the distance between us.
Different personality--I'm an outgoing, outdoor and positive person; he enjoys spending time with his own, staying in alone, reading or visiting museums, doesn't like outdoor sports, over-worries about career and life and cant help being upset most of the times
We both agreed that he would try his best to settle a full time in SF, if not, I would apply to a job in NYC. But now, he told me NYC or SF is not the life he wants, and he wants to stay around Minnesota.
He is special to me in a way that he's only person I like who is not a player. I have lots of player friends and dated two players myself, which challenged my values. But this guy makes me believe in real love again.
Redditor, what do you think I should do? | Brink of breakup:My boyfriend and I just had a serious talk. I told him that he either moves to NYC or SF as discussed, or we break up. He said he needs more time to decides |
t3_507hya | relationships | Moving soon, how can I [17F] meet new people? | So I'm in kind of an unique situation as far as schooling goes. I left public school my sophomore year and have been attending an online accredited school since. I had my friends I made at public school and we'd hang out and text all the time. Everything was fine and dandy until I got the news we'd be moving in about 3 months to a state on the opposite side of the country. I've been through moves before (military family) but this will be my first move without the easy-to-find friend groups of school…
I'm planning on getting a part-time job as soon as we get there but I'd really like to have friends outside of work too. I don't believe in God so church is out, and my current hobbies are all pretty singular (knitting, reading, writing, stuff like that). Totally not opposed to joining a sport but NO idea where I'd find a group that isn't run by a church/public school.
I'm in my senior year so I could buckle down and just focus on my work, but I'm going to be taking a year off before college. I don't want to be totally isolated!! I've got a bunch of online friends and I'm sure I'll stay in contact with one or two friends from the town I'm in now. I just think I'll suffocate if I can't find anyone to hang with. | Moving soon and have no clue where I'll find friends. halp pls |
t3_12lx97 | AskReddit | What is the coolest thing you have ever done that made you look like a complete badass? | I don't really have any James Bond stories to share but I have one somewhat badass story.
Without sounding like I think I'm a fearless mofo, I'm not generally afraid of any thrill-seekers e.g roller coasters, extreme sports, handled dangerous experiences etc. Last year I went to Thailand and was in Phuket. I was walking along the beach with my family when I saw a paraglider, I said that depending on the cost I wanted to do it. So I walked up to the 3 men running the "business" and asked how much it was. They pointed at a board with the prices on it, it was somewhere around the equivalent of $30 Australian dollars. As I was looking at the board they walked up and started harnessing me and calling the boat in. I was like wtf is happening, I didn't know how the fuck to paraglide, I was expecting some sort of lesson. My mum flipped shit but I said something along the lines of "Chill, it'll be fun". Next thing I know I was harnessed and attatched to the boat. I saw that the boat was starting to go and one of the men said to run, so I ran. As I flew into the air the same man grabbed the ropes and sat on the motherfucking rope behind me the entire time, not harnessed or anything, just sitting on the damn rope. Anyway, I got some beautiful views and it was a pretty amazing experience. I guess the Thai guy was the real badass in this situation lol, but my family thought I was pretty badass for just going with it. | I abruptly went paragliding in Phuket with no knowledge on how to do it, I played with a grown tiger and it's cubs and went skydiving at the highest commercial jump in Australia, 14,000 feet. |
t3_3gjhcd | relationships | My [25 M] GF [23 F] of 1 year wants to work abroad for 3 months for multiple times | Hi,
simple question. My GF wants to work abroad because of her economic situation. We want to get married, build a house etc. and she cant get any decent job in our vicinity (she has a masters degree and you get like 400€/month disposable income which is insane). The jobs abroad pay 2 to 3 times more than she would earn here while doing a waitress over there.
She was working abroad multiple times but that was before we have known each other.
So she wants to go to France for 3 months, then come back for 1 month and then go again. She doesnt know how many times will she repeat that, but even 4 or 5 times (3+1) could be possible.
I just want to hear your opinion on this - will it be hard to live for so long separated? Would you be jealous or something? She told me that some of the girls with whom she was abroad previously cheated like crazy... because no one would ever find out (thats what they told her). She is absolutely in love with me and says that she would never cheat on me (I never ask that, dont want to sound insecure, she tells it by herself) but there is always that "what if..." on my mind. Would I ever find out? Hmm | GF going abroad for several month, how to handle it? |
t3_2tg2zy | tifu | TIFU by working next to a nail salon | Ok. So I work for a phone company. One of the cheaper companies. I'll say that I work for Cricket or something. We are right next to a nail salon so one of the highlights of my day is watching all of the pretty girls walking in and out of the nail salon.
Well, There is this Chinese lady who is especially beautiful that comes and goes a lot. ALMOST, as if she was an employee of said nail salon.
I've seen here many times and always wanted to just walk up and talk to her, but I've never built up the nerve.
So today, I was outside smoking a cigarette and she walked by and I though I would actually say something.
I said "Hey, how's work today?"
She said "Fine"
And then I fucked up... "Must be tedious doing peoples nails all day"
She went ballistic and asked me if I thought she worked there because she was Asian. And admittedly, it totally sounded racist.. But I legitimately thought that she worked there because I see her there all the time.
So, it turns out that she doesn't work there, her brother does, and they both think that I'm some racist piece of shit even thought what I said was totally taken out of context. | Hot Chinese girl doesn't work at the nail salon.... And no matter how you say it, it sounds racist. |
t3_2pyylp | relationships | (19m)felt like our (19f) relationship was falling apart I thought we should break up and now we are better than ever. Is that normal? | My girlfriend and I had been going strong for about 7 or 8 months when things started to fall apart. We would fight all the time, usually about nothing, and it was just so horrible. I was very unhappy and I was thinking about breaking up with her. I was actually about to end it and I brought up all the issues I had (I had not brought them up like that so obviously before) and we talked about it. It wasn't a pretty argument but in the end she convinced me to stay with her.
It's been about 2 months and I can't recall a single day where I wasn't as happy as ever with her. I feel like I did when I first fell in love with her but better! I am just a little worried about this maybe relapsing again in the near future. Is it common to have such big fights in a relarionship that early on? | girlfriend and I were having trouble. Tried to break up with her but we decided to give it another shot and now I feel like we are better than ever but I'm afraid of another period where we fight all the time. |
t3_kj8m4 | AskReddit | Reddit, I think my dad might be developing schizophrenia. My friend told me you could help. | Throwaway account. To be honest I rarely even browse reddit, but a friend of mine pointed me here saying that this would probably be the best way to get my questions answered and figure out what steps I need to take.
A little bit of backstory, my dad has been a real estate agent for as long as I can remember. About a year ago, he was playing middle-man for a large deal that he'd been working on for months. I don't know all the details, but I know that towards the end he basically got cut out and didn't make anything from the deal, despite a significant investment of both time and money. This deal slipping through his fingers essentially ruined him professionally, and slowly but surely it's began taking its toll on his mental health.
Since last September, his mental state has continually deteriorated. What my family and I originally assumed was a small crisis that would soon blow over has grown into full-blown delusions riddled with paranoia. In just a few months he's gone from being the bread winner to being a liability. We're on the verge of being financially wrecked, this whole situation has taken an emotional toll on my mother (as you might expect), and my older brother is too caught up in his own problems to take notice. I've recently graduated college and have student loans that will soon need to be paid off, but I'm too caught up trying to deal with this situation to split my attention long enough to establish a career. My father refuses to seek any medical attention or accept any of my family's advice, accusing us of lying to him and dismissing our concerns, justifying his actions with non-sensical stories. Something needs to change, but I don't know what to do. He won't let us help him and the further he slips the worse it becomes for all of us; our extended family is completely oblivious and apathetic to our situation. Help? | I think my dad's slipping into schizophrenia, my family is broke, and we don't know what to do. |
t3_2pwohx | relationships | Friend [23F] with boss [40 M], possibly unprofessional conduct? | Well, a close female friend of mine went to a nice dinner with her boss. She is 23 years old, he is around 40 or so. No, she is a paid intern at a company, and it is not unusual nor completely unexpected for bosses to take their employees out for dinners and lunches as a reward for work well done, or, in this case as a pre holiday break celebration for the end of the year.
now, my friend went to a nice dinner with her boss, and everything seem professional to find. However, at the end of the dinner, the boss mentioned to her that he does not get to have much fun, and that they should do it again. He then kissed her on the cheek. He also sent her a text after the date saying, that he had a good time and that they should do it again.
Unprofessional or...? The girl in question was a little weirded out, I might add.
Just curious on thoughts of potential unprofessional behavior... | Friend went to dinner with boss, he said he doesn't get to have much fun usually, kissed her on the cheek, and said they should do it again. |
t3_2cdlzd | relationships | I need help deciphering my (19f) SO's behaviors (25M) of over a year | We have a great relationship. We started dating early may of 2013, and things have been great. We fight like anyone else, but we always make up and fix things moving forward if there was a problem.
Theres a minor glitch. He can't say he loves me. I have always found this unusual especially considering the duration of our relationship and how we're both major homebodies who are close to each others families and not breaking up any time soon (I think.)
He has expressed when I asked about this that love is really, really, serious. He said when he thinks he's in love, he'd throw a ring on it. So basically, he wont tell me until he thinks he wants to get married. (considering the fact I'm 19 I dont bother asking. I dont want to get married right now.)
I try not to take it to heart, considering when I bring it up and compare myself to others , he always says 'do you think they'll be together in 10 years?' I guess not. He frequently comments how we're getting to know eachother better every day and how he thinks im more beautiful every day.
Am I getting myself in too deep? Is this a long term relationship in disguise? | relationship with SO is good but the way he acts confuses me. I'm not paranoid or need to know everything that will happen but I have no idea if we're in it for the long run |
t3_mf5yy | cats | Moved to a new house and introducing multiple cats! Please provide your insight Reddit cat community! | I have recently bought a house with my fiancee. Backstory: I have two cats (both roughly 5 years old) named Wooster and Marley. They have lived together for a couple years now and generally get along well. She has one cat (also 5 years old) named Luna that has always been the only cat. There was a brief period that she also kept her parents older (12+ yrs) dog but I don't think it affected Luna much.
We have kept Luna separated from Wooster and Marley and only let them mingle when we are both around to keep watch. Luna hisses at both of the other cats and they tend to leave each other alone. Sometimes though Wooster will try and get closer to Luna and a fight will break out. I have also seen Luna instigating fights also. Marley just runs around watching intently, usually scared since she's normally skittish anyways. The fights are usually brief and seem to be mostly noises with little to no actual damage being done to each other.
Wooster has taken it upon himself to start peeing in the laundry if he has access to it as well (in the bedroom). I assume this is a territorial thing since he's not normally allowed in the bedroom at night to sleep since Luna is kept in there at night.
What can I do about the hissing, fighting, and peeing? I've tried to very gradually introduce them between closed doors, etc. and they aren't starved for attention from either of us. Any ideas? | Introducing cats - hissing, fighting, peeing - what to do now? |
t3_2jr9ku | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [24M] boyfriend didn't call me on his birthday. Am I reading too much into this? | Today is my boyfriend's birthday. We've been dating two years, mostly long distance of varying sizes. He's currently in graduate school a few states away and since he'll be back in a month I decided not to visit for his birthday. Still, I thought we would at least talk. His friends took him out last night so he was asleep by midnight when I called. I texted him happy birthday and to call me back as soon as possible. He texted me in the morning to say thank you and suggest we skype in the evening. That was fine by me... except that come evening, he said he was busy working on an assignment and couldn't.
I know it's his birthday so I shouldn't be thinking about my feelings, but I can't help but remember that on my birthday all I wanted was to see him. We don't talk everyday because of how busy he is, so I want someone to tell me I'm overreacting... But we haven't spoken in a week, and I figured he'd *want* to carve out time today. I just want an outsider's opinion. | Boyfriend didn't call me on his birthday and it's bothering me. Am I over analyzing? |
t3_2gjyqm | relationship_advice | Boyfriend [30M] cheated on me [29F] and got girl pregnant. Confused about whether it is any of my business or not. | I need guidance on what I am supposed to feel, not break up/make up advice so I am giving very little background.
My long distance boyfriend has just told me, a month before we were supposed to close the distance with me moving across continents to live with him, that he has been cheating on me with a friend of his who has been living with him for the last three months and that she got pregnant. She is considering an abortion (her own reasons, not because of me) but I don't know how sure that is because he is not sharing his feelings and experience with me. He claims he doesn't want to be in a relationship with her and still wants to be with me, which I am OK with child or not, but I am feeling very confused right now:
Am I selfish to think he should share his feelings, and what he is going through, with me to show that he wants and can let me back into his life or should I keep out of this entirely? If they keep the child, I will need to be included somehow, will that come later or should we discuss it now?
Am I allowed to feel sad and betrayed and in need of comfort when they are going through this huge thing together or should I get over myself already? | boyfriend got another girl pregnant, she is possibly getting an abortion, I don't know how to deal with conflicting feelings of betrayal and guilt. |
t3_27vheh | running | Low Ferritin levels | So i recently (Like 2 days ago) went to the doctor and asked about getting my blood drawn because my coach thought i might have an iron problem. Turns out she was right, I have very low levels of Ferritin (Which is the major storage of Iron so essentially i have low iron levels) and i was told to get a daily vitamin for it but i have no idea what to get. I have 3 local vitamin stores in my town so i've got lots of options. I am a 17 year old female who would just like to feel like i'm not dying when i run.
Also if you know i would love to hear what low levels of Ferritin actually does to you for running. I can't really find the anwsers anywhere online.
Thank You! | 17 year old girl, low Iron levels, fix with what supplement, how does it effect my running |
t3_2w4f4l | tifu | TIFU by telling a girl I really like, that I really liked her. | I met this girl through a friend. Now, we fucked on the first date and agreed on the second that we should take things slower and get to know one another. So we did. We had a nice date, dinner and drinks and then said goodbye.
Afterwards was not so great. Pretty much every day after that I texted her, telling her variations of "I'd really like to see you again", "I really like you" and "What are you up to?" In hindsight, I can see why that would appear to be clingy. But the reality is, almost all of my friends are either in relationships or are too far away from me to hang out with, so I was in all honesty grateful for the attention as well as going out on a date.
I think my lack of going out with someone in a really long time showed and to be perfectly honest I can see where I went wrong.
After days of ignoring me, I asked her "wanna hang out?", which she also ignored. Then I replied, "Yeah, me neither."
She replied a couple of hours later saying, "Hey, I'm sorry I took so long to text back. I think you want something more serious and I don't want to lead you on. I don't think we should see each other any more. Sorry Again."
I was semi-expecting that, after texts of "I really want to see you" and "Let's hang out" all the time. Ugh. | Basically, I pushed away a girl I really liked because I kept texting her. |
t3_2i6i77 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] 4 months, she wants to shave her head | The headline says it all I guess. My girlfriend of 4 months decided that she wants to shave her head, just because.
I love her - she's the most amazing person I've ever been with. We have an awesome relationship - stable, loving, generous, great sex, etc.
But I am not even remotely attracted to shaved head. It's not like we've been together for a few years and this is happening, were still in the honeymoon stage. I want to be open minded and sensible but I just cannot imagine being attracted to her in the same way if she looks completely different. And I would hate for that to happen when were just in the start of something that feels so special.
I'm trying, I have spent hours looking at pics of women with shaved heads. I would understand if it was for a cause, or she had done it before and wanted to do it again. But no. She just decided to "try it".
To a certain degree the decision itself also freaks me out. Se admitted that she might not like it, that she'll probably cry a bit, but she'll still just do it.
I don't understand, I don't know how to deal with it, and it's causing me immense anxiety. I love her, I don't want to be rash, I don't want to hurt her, but I also cannot lie to her or myself. | girlfriend of 4 months plans to shave her head on a whim. I do not find that (or that decision) easy to accept. |
t3_p89w3 | dating_advice | How do I let a guy know I am unavailable without making things messy? | I am a 19 year old female, and I have never really had to deal with relationship things such as letting people down.
I am in a relationship currently, but recently I have been talking to a guy I met on campus whenever we see each other around. He is 24, and in the Army, and he is a super sweet guy, and I would love to hang out with him if I knew it was going to be strictly friendly.
Now, I am not completely confident he was implying he wanted to take me on a date, because he asked me out to have coffee with him tomorrow (Friday) night and gave me his number. I want to say yes, and get to know him as a friend, but I also want him to know going into this, that I am in a relationship. Should I do it bluntly, or more subtle, i.e. "My boyfriend loves that show." etc.. | How do I tell the guy I am in a relationship, but still want to be friends. |
t3_2b30qn | relationships | Does it impact the ex for you to be polite and forgive? | Just asking because me and my ex are supposed to talk soon after I've request NC for a 3 months. He's [22M] contacted me [22F] twice so far and I've just been polite and brief.
I do want to him realize the weight of his actions and how he's been really shitty. Is the best way to approach it to be nice and forgiving, but tell him I can't be in his life because he's hurt me too much?
I know you might say focus on myself, because I might not be able to affect him at all. Or it would be best for me to move on, which I have been for the most part. I say that because I haven't been tempted to talk to him, and I definitely don't want him back. But I know I haven't made it all the way there yet. And I do forgive him; the only reason why I want to make an emotional impact on him is that he's somewhat selfish and hopefully this can help him realize some of his darkness.
Not possible maybe, but please humor me. It's interesting enough to gain insight in emotional scenarios. It's kind of hard for me to put myself in his shoes. | When telling someone you don't want them to be in your life anymore, should you be utterly indifferent, angry, or forgiving to have the most possible impact on them? |
t3_uyb0y | dating_advice | Is it time to give him a little "pressure?" | Ok so I met this guy late October. I am 31 [f] hes 27[m]. A week later we "hooked up". A week after that we had a little issue... irrelevant i believe. Anyway we had a little talk, I gave him 2 options. 1.) we could continue to see eachother but only for one month, and only eachother no one else. Option 2.) Lets end it now no love lost.
He apparently chose the first option because we are still together. In the beginning he told me he really was not ready for a relationship he said too many emotions involved. So ok i understand i respected that as i did not think i was ready for emotional attachment also.
Later i started having "feelings" for him .. so it came out a couple times with thanks to the liquid courage. He said he had never met anyone like me before and really liked me and that i had a great heart .. but! He still wasn't ready for a relationship, said he could not say if that would change in the future but as of now was not ready.
Well we've been together for almost 8 months now. Hes spent about 98% of his free time with me since we got together. We pretty much are in a relationship. I think now I am ready to be with him you know the whole BF/GF with title thing. I wrote him a letter of my feelings since for him and He did read it.. And hes been alot nicer and funny and cute since then, but still he has not told me how he feels... Do you think it is time that I sit him down and ask him face to face what he wants out of this relationship? I mean things are great now... but i do think since we've been together so long that its time we know at least what we are.... | Been with a guy for almost 8 months.. No BF/GF label, now i have feelings for him, he may have them for me. |
t3_28xaxc | tifu | TIFU by handing in a final project early | I registered for a class titled "Body Re-Education and Re-Alignment" prior to my second semester at a small university. In this class, we learned how to move, stretch, and exercise with the long-term goal of ultimately improving our posture. Our professor would meet with us individually and we would discuss problems that we had with our bodies such as pelvic/torso shifts, hyperextended joints, problems due to past injuries, and in some extreme cases things like kyphosis and lordosis (irregularly curved spines). It was a very interesting class and I'd like to think I learned a lot from it. Anyway, for our final project our professor had us pick a movement that we wanted to improve upon. For example, I chose the deadlift as my movement, though some people chose something as simple as improving their vertical jump. I felt like I was killing two birds with one stone, as I had intended to work on my deadlift form anyway. I was so devoted to my project that I finished early, and decided to hand it in about a week before we were supposed to present them. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to directly send it to her, so I just put it on a flash drive and brought it to class one day. Now, the project wasn't the only thing on this flashdrive. I take a lot of pictures, and when my camera gets full, I just store them on this flashdrive. Some of these pictures date back to my years in highschool. Anyway, after class, when everybody had left, I sat down with her and we plugged the flashdrive into her computer. Much to my dismay, the first thing that popped up was a fullscreen photo of a huge footlong joint I rolled during my sophomore year of highschool. "Well THAT'S not what we're looking for," my professor said, as she frantically tried to close the window. Unfortunately, she overwhelmed the computer in her frenzied attempts at quitting the program. Not only did that picture stay up, but ANOTHER picture, albeit one of a large blunt, popped up on the screen. The next 5 minutes consisted of us waiting in deathly awkward silence for the computer to register her command to close the window. We finally found the project and I saved it to her device. | I learned that it is time to grow up and stop taking stupid pictures |
t3_22a2zj | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 2.5 yrs, open relationship gone haywire | Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I'm a college student studying abroad for the semester. My boyfriend is still at my home university. We've been together since the beginning of college and decided to try an open relationship during my semester abroad, so we could both take the opportunity to experiment.
We agreed however, that both of us would practice safe sex at all times. I, however, screwed up. I slept with a guy without a condom (though he didn't finish inside, but I guess it doesn't really matter). I'm on birth control so that's not the issue, but rather concerns about STDs.
Also, since I've been here I've slept with two other guys, including having a threesome. My boyfriend has not hooked up with anybody - even though he's totally free to do so. Oh also I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, and he has had two previous sexual partners.
We haven't told each other who/if we've been hooking up (except for one brief conversation in which he said he hasn't hooked up with anyone), but plan to do so at the end of the semester. He said that he wants to know "everything". Gulp. What do I do?
I really care about him and our relationship and do not want to lose him over meaningless sex, though admittedly being apart for so long has made me feel pretty disconnected from him emotionally, which I"m hoping will get better when we see each other. I'm really worried that if I tell him about the no-condom that he'll just end it with me. | How much should/must I tell him? Have I totally fucked up my relationship? |
t3_3h0bml | relationships | Me [19 M] and my girlfriend of 3 years [19 F] just told me, at a club, that she's been hooking up with one of my childhood friends. Just got home. Can't sleep. How do you guys even deal with this shit? | Wow. I feel like total shit. This girl was, what I think, the love of my life. While our relationship had it's bumps and bends, I thought people had a little bit of decency. He's been one of my good friends since middle school. I've had a gut feeling about this for so long, it's just that she always reassured me nothing would ever happen. Man, do I feel small, and like such an idiot for letting myself get dragged around like this.
My brain is telling me this is good, but the rest of me feels like total shit. I hope I'll never have to feel this again. This fucking sucks. I'm laying here, trying to sleep, think about other things or get over her but I can't. And it seems like most of my friends don't really mind/say anything (me, my ex and "friend" have all been in the same social circle for years now.) How do you guys deal with this stuff? | Long term girlfriend (ex-girlfriend) told me tonight that she's been hooking up with my childhood friend. Just need a little help coping with the situation. I feel fucking small and alone. |
t3_1h3q4j | relationships | Me[31M] with my girlfrield [31F] for a few months, is it worth it? | I've been dating someone now for a few months. She lives about an hours train ride away, so we only get to see each other at weekends but it's been pretty much all weekend every weekend since we've been together, plus an hour or two on the phone every day, and numerous emails and texts and so on throughout the day. That's all fine.
When things are going good, it is absolutely fantastic. It feels like one of the best relationships I've ever been in. And even though we've only been together a few months, we've already discussed moving in together,and marriage and kids and everything like that. And all of that is really great and I have no problems there.
But then on the other side, we seem to argue an awful lot about a lot of silly things, and it feels like it's been getting more and more often recently. And when we do argue, I end up feeling really awful about upsetting and hurting her, and this then ends up making me feel really miserable about things.
The latest arguments have been around the fact that her parents like a couple of hours away in one direction, and my parents live a couple of hours away in a different direction, and so what happens around Christmas and the like when we'd both want to see the parents but obviously can't manage that because of distances. And this is a really silly thing to be arguing over, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter at all but it's been going back and forth for a few hours now...
I've only ever been in one proper relationship before, but that one lasted for about 10 years. However, we've already had more quantity and more extreme arguments in my current one after a few months than I ever did in those 10 years. And I'm just really at a loss as to what things should be like and what to do about it... | Good times are very good, Bad times are bad, but all over very silly issues that shouldn't matter but seem to keep coming up. |
t3_4zspw5 | relationships | I [17 M] am slowly pursuing a crush [17 F], and my friend [17 M] of 3 years says I'm being manipulative. Is he right? | This is mostly me trying to validate myself. I don't know.
I've liked a girl for a while now. She's pretty, she's smart, she's nice, the whole shabang. I decided that I wanted to try and make a move, but not just dump it all out at once, but instead become friends with her and earn her trust before I do eventually ask her out.
My friend "Jacob", however, tells me that I'm just "manipulating her to get into her pants" and that I'm a pig. I disagree with Jacob, as this way, there's a better chance of me not being rejected if she trusts me (which she is starting to), and if I am rejected, I can at least be friends with her. He tells me that having a "backup plan" is sexist and rude and women don't exist to be mens' playthings. While I do agree with the last part, I don't understand how having an idea of how to move on after a possible rejection is sexist/rude. Am I being sexist/rude/manipulative without even realizing it? | I want to gain the trust of a girl before I ask her out. My friend says this is manipulative. |
t3_2o5ayo | offmychest | I think I did something right. | Lately I've been feeling really down. My life revolves around my schooling and I don't have time to hang out with my friends. I live alone and a lot of times I get lonely just sitting on the sofa with no one to talk to other than my dog. Now with the holidays upon us I've been feeling extra low because I don't have a significant other to share the excitement of the holidays with. All my friends are in some sort of relationship or has someone special and I'm just alone. I was feeling pretty shitty. But then I got a Christmas tree. It's about three feet high and it's not the best looking but it's mine. I brought it home and set it up. My mom let me take some of the ornaments she doesn't use and I got my tree looking pretty spiffy. I plugged it in and it lit up the room. Now even when I'm having a rough day I come home to see the glow coming from this little tree and it makes me feel better. It feels good to have something that's wholly mine. Something my parents aren't helping me pay for. This is mine and when I come home at night and I see the glow from my tree it makes me feel like I'm doing something right. Like I'm headed in a direction that's taking me somewhere where I have hopes and opportunities. I haven't felt like this in years. It's nice.
Here's a picture of my tree just because. | I've been feeling down then set up a Christmas tree and now feel better. |
t3_1pvnra | relationships | Me [19 M] with my long distance gf [23 F] of 6 months, have been on not-so-great terms. | Ok, I know this isn't the usual "ermergherd, cheating!" I just want to give a little insight and possibly hope. We have been dating for almost a year, and have officially been a couple for six months. I joined the military and now she and I are 7 hours apart. Lately communication ahsn't been too great and we've been getting into arguments (currently in one now).
She originally didn't want to be in a long distance relationship, which is why we were in the dating stage for so long. She had a failed long distance relationship herself and people would always say they don't work. After some convincing, she agreed to start the relationship.
I love this girl to death. Yes, there is a significant age difference, but that is never a bad factor. It really only comes into discussion when someone asks or if I tease her about it.
Now to the point, Novemeber 24 is her birthday (OH GOD SHE WILL BE 24) and I just want her to know that I love her more than anything in the world. Even through all the arguments and not talking, we make it work. Happy birth-month. | Age difference is insignificant. Distance doesn't matter. Love prevails. |
t3_2t42u3 | tifu | TIFU by not cheating on my gf | So, I'm in a long distance relationship, and it had been ~2 months since I'd seen my gf when a few friends came to town and we went out for a boy's night. We hit the local bar and had an absolute blast, and a couple girls ended up walking back with us to my apt. One of them was particularly interested in me. I wasn't necessarily planning on cheating, but I thought I should be prepared if I decided to, so I snuck away to hide a condom between my mattress and box spring, just in case. An hour or so later, I sobered up a bit, realized I had gnarly beer goggles on, and kindly told the girls to call an uber.
I forgot about the rubber I stashed until this morning, when my gf was looking for her lost earing and found it (we don't use 'em). She flipped her shit and is probably going to break up with me. The irony is that if I had gone through with it I might've gotten away with it (barring any karma smiting of course). | – stashed a condom in preparation to cheat, didn't, gf found said rubber |
t3_1v1lvn | relationships | Hi, I need help I [35M] resent my wife [32F] and I don't know how to deal with it. | I don't even know where to start.
This has been going on for some time and it is now making our lives miserable.
My wife and I used to be morbidly obese, we we're incredibly fat when we met, dated, got engaged and married. We've been married about 7 years.
We both made aspirations to lose weight but never did and fell into an easy and comfortable life together.
Last year I started to actively work towards losing weight and in that time I have lost almost 100lbs.
My wife committed to losing weight with me and she was great at first, she lost a bit of weight but like myself she has a food addiction.
To top it off she has a stressful public facing job and fairly severe anxiety.
After a few months she stopped trying to eat better and has since gained all the weight back and I suspect more than she started with.
Our sex life suffers, we have sex a few times a year because to be frank I don't find her attractive at all.
We don't have any children so that doesn't cause us issues but we still want to have kids yet, we can't have kids if we don't have sex and to be honest I don't want to have kids with her because I don't want them to grow up with a morbidly obese mother, I want them to be able to have fun with her and be active but that isn't an option right now.
I love my wife but we have no enjoyment, we don't play, we don't get out and we don't get along.
I want to be honest with her but I know telling her the above will devastate her along with anxiety it will cause a lot of hurt to her and I don't want to hurt her.
Does anyone have any suggestion of what I can do?
If you need more info please ask, I really want to fix this. | Resent wife for not losing weight and don't know how to tell her. |
t3_247f1l | relationships | Me [19F] wants to leave my live-in boyfriend[23 M] of 3 years to be with family and go to school...but we have a lease. | Of course, the typical problem is that we have a lease together. I do love him very much but I feel I'm too young to be tied down like this. We have a lease in both of our names that doesn't end until 8 months down the road. I know I can't afford paying rent if I move back with my parents (it might take me awhile to find a job and go to school) but I know I probably can't afford the breaking the lease fee.
I know we should have thought about this before but a bunch of traumatic stuff happened in one go and I can't handle it anymore. We were together for quite a long time and lived together for about 9 months or so before we signed the lease. He never wanted to talk about what would happen in the event of a breakup, so we don't have a plan unfortunately.
I know that I need to break up because I simply can't talk to my boyfriend about anything. He doesn't understand my need to vent about these bad events, and since it happened so quickly I don't want to floor him but I can't keep up the facade of being happy anymore. I need to be with my family and I need to leave but I don't know how without things getting ugly. | Family events left me feeling very uncertain about my long relationship. I feel too young to be tied down and would like to go back home to be with my family and finally go to school. Big problem is, of course, our lease. |
t3_1lu5uj | relationship_advice | [25/f] dating a separated (34/m) with no divorce date. | He has been separated and living apart from his wife for 3 years and has no intention of filing for divorce any time soon. He walked away from the relationship and she really didn't want him too. They have two girls together (11 and 13 years) and have joint custody. They have reached a decent level of civility and have a great co-parenting relationship.
I asked him why he hadn't filed for divorce and he said it was because he didn't want to upset her and ruin the relationship that he had worked really hard to attain for the sake of the girls. She can't take him for any money or assets etc as the laws here won't allow for it in his situation and they already split everything when they separated.
Neither of us are interested in getting married ever but I still don't know how I feel about him still being married to her. I haven't really brought it up with him again and am wondering if I should just accept it as is and move on with life. We have been dating for only 5 months.
What are your thoughts? How would you feel? Should I say something? | [25/f] dating a separated (34/m) with no divorce date. Should I be ok with this? |
t3_35mhmf | tifu | TIFU by wearing flip flops | So this happened last July. I was living on a small farm in Mexico for the summer, doing some volunteering and things. One day me and two other guys who were working there decided to go for an early morning walk through the jungle to see a nearby cenote. I was in a rush to get ready and figured we wouldn't be gone for long, so I decided to just wear flip flops. Bad idea, fast forward ten minutes and I had been bitten on my foot by a pit viper, blood everywhere and everyone royally freaking out. Took two hours to get to hospital and had to stay there for four days, I couldn't walk for another week. My leg looked like complete shit and all in all it was a total fucking nightmare. I would give the experience a good 0/10. | wore flip flops in the jungle got bitten by a snake |
t3_vrfif | loseit | Can someone please explain "starvation mode" to me more? | I've recently started trying to lose weight and change my life around. I go to the gym every day and elliptical for 45 min and do yoga or wii fit at home. I'm eating mostly vegetables, leaner protein and limited carbs. But recently I've been calorie counting and found that I only tend to eat around 800 calories a day. (I'm 20 years old, 5'7'' 190lbs)
I heard that if you eat too little your body goes into "starvation mode". What exactly does this mean and how will it effect me? I don't feel hungry and don't feel the need to eat more. | what is starvation mode? How will it effect me? Am I eating too little? |
t3_2weajw | relationship_advice | Me (22M) have been hanging out with a younger girl (18) and I have fallen for her quite hard but.. | We seem to have an amazing time when we are together. Never run out of things to talk about. We laugh constantly. But once we part ways, she NEVER texts first. And when I message her she sometimes never replies or just replies with a one or two word text with no enthusiasm. I always ask to hang out and she has blown me off 3 or 4 times now. Always saying she is too tired or too busy or stressed with school. But her snapchat story shows her constantly going out with other people even after she has said she is too tired to hang out with me.
So I got annoyed and confronted her about it. She told me she REALLY likes me and loves spending time with me but she gets cold feet and is afraid of getting hurt so she says she wants to take "us" slow. But today, I text her asking if she wants to meet up for coffee and I get no reply so I think ok maybe she is busy, but as I get to the campus coffee store, she is sitting there laughing with some other guy. Now I'm not usually the jealous type but I mean.. wtf? So now I'm starting to think "take it slow" really means I wanna string you along until I find someone better. What do you guys think? | Girl I met recently seems to be blowing me off but when we are together we seem to have an amazing time. |
t3_18yqvd | relationships | I [26M] feel jealous about my wife's [30F] interactions with other men, because I have no one else to talk to. [Together 7 years, married 4] | Ok, so, i want to retain some anonymity here, but... my wife and i recently went through rough times (started with a miscarriage and only got worse before it got to the point we're at now) and while we're slowly moving out of the rough patch I keep relapsing due to trust issues, because she has a bunch of male friends that she talks to everyday and i've seen the conversation turn quite personal and sometimes they attempt to flirt.
My wife says I would probably chill out if i had some people talk to, probably female friends, and even said she would understand some flirting just to boost my confidence a bit. I'm not sure how to go about finding anyone new to talk to, nor do i know if this could be a good idea (it's a trap?). What would be the best way to go about actually getting someone to talk with, what's the best way to approach this without being a creep or weirdo? | Wife wants me to make female friends to stop jealousy issues, but i'm not sure how and know if it's a good idea... |
t3_kwafg | dating_advice | What did I do wrong? | I am 21 F and he is 24 M.
So I met this guy a while back via making out at a bar, which is not something either of us normally do (I think?). He was really cute, and I liked him right away, because I could tell right off the bat that we had a lot in common. Like, eerily a lot.
We finally met up again this past weekend after talking a lot online/through texts, and ended up spending almost the whole weekend together. We hung out and talked a bunch, as well as had (good) sex. I thought the whole thing went really well, and found myself liking him a LOT more than I had before. I thought that he definitely must like me a lot too because a) I was getting good/romantic vibes and signals from him, and b) like I said, we're practically the same person.
But then, he hasn't really talked to me at all this week. This is after we were talking online and texting every day for several hours, and after we spent the weekend together. He used to be the one to start the conversations normally, but he hasn't started any conversations this week, and the couple of times I tried talking to him, he was completely unresponsive. I don't want to come on too strong, as I think generally I've been the one pursuing him more, so I am extremely hesitant to try and talk to him again.
At this point, I've pretty much lost all hope in this, assuming he just wanted to hit it and quit it. I just wanna know what I did wrong so I don't repeat it in the future! A lot of my friends are telling me I had sex with him too soon -- is that really a problem? I don't see why it should be.
Also, some background: I haven't had a proper relationship... well, ever. And not for lack of trying. This type of thing seems to be a sort of common occurrence with me. I'm also a bit overweight (not like morbidly obese or anything) and worry that this might be because I'm unattractive. | I thought things were going amazingly well with this guy, but he suddenly stopped talking to me. WHY?? |
t3_53kabs | relationships | My [20 M] best friend [21 F] is acting in an inappropriate way towards me. | My best friend has started acting in a very suspicious manner towards me (shes been acting like this for 2-3 months now). We've been friends for around 3 years now, and we've never had any kind of sexual tension between us. I have acted towards her like I would act towards any male friend. We also have never had anything that could even resemble any romantic relationship. Though I have always considered her attractive, I had already decided the day I met her, that she's friend material. Also note that we sometimes crash at each others places, if we've spend the day together, tough with different covers, and in each our site.
She has been seeing this guy for 2 years now, and it is starting to get serious, she recently told him she loves him, and things are going good between them, and I am super happy about that. Though that does not stop her from acting in a inappropriate way towards me.
Generally it's nothing to serious, but it's things like:
* Slapping my butt. [Often]
* Sexual remarks. [Often]
* Humping. [Rarely]
* Kissing (though not on the lips) [Rarely]
* Last time we slept together she snuggled over to my side, and put her head on my chest, and her leg over my legs. | Best friend of 3 years starting to act inappropriate towards me, she has a boyfriend. How do I bring it up? Am I in the wrong, is this normal? |
t3_2znh7q | tifu | TIFU by burning the living Christ out of my hand. | Today I thought I'd have s nice cup of tea with my brunch. I started the pot of water and here starts my first fuck up. I like to get the water really hot so the tea steeps better. I like to wait until you hear a nice shrill whistle, because I'm very smart and make great decisions. Fuck up number two was not checking if I had any clean mugs, and I did not. Being the genius that I am I decided that a flimsy, plastic, Halloween-themed cup would be a fine substitute. Well I add the tea bag and the sugar, when I go for the water. I, continuing my role of awful ideas, decided to hold the cup from the bottom. I poured the boiling water into the cup and within a split second I think "Ow this hurts!" Causing me to jolt my hand backward, while still pouring the water. In that moment I felt a little pain, but I guess the adrenaline made me not really feel it all. Well it's 7 hours later and I can feel it reeeeally well right about now. I've been having my hand in a jar of ice water all day and I don't even know how I'm going to get to sleep. | poured boiling water onto my hand because I thought a cup with a skeleton face could do the job of a cup |
t3_2lmge4 | personalfinance | Buyer's remorse on expensive prescription glasses | I'm an idiot. Despite being quite good at being frugal and investing in the last year, I'm still given to occasional idiotic mistakes.
I just got covered under my company's health insurance, and got vision insurance. Went to the eye doctor's office and somehow got talked into spending $300 on designer glasses. I usually buy the $35 ones from Zenni.
Had store immediate buyer's remorse, called the office and they said they couldn't refund them, as they've already been made.
I can pay for these, but I won't be saving anything this month, and I'll probably have a little bit leftover that I'll still need to pay off next month.
My Mom recommended disputing the charge through my credit card company. How much would this hurt my credit asks how unethical would it be? | Idiot with new health insurance spent too much on glasses, regrets it, can't get refund. Any hope for him aside from being a not-idiot in the future? |
t3_1u3daq | relationships | I [20F] started dating this guy [20M] about 3 months ago. I lied to my parents about our relationship and perhaps crossed some boundaries and don't know how to reconcile the situation. | Both of us are extremely shy and private people. Kinda nerdy. Not comfortable with people all up in our business. I met him at college, and he lives overseas. So for thanksgiving break I told him he could stay at my house for a couple days since he couldn't fly back home (we had only be together for a little over a month at this point, but it was pretty casual). He wasn't even staying for actual thanksgiving day/dinner. Just the first couple days of break until he figured out where he'd be going.
We were friends before we got together, so my parents had met him once before this. However, I did NOT feel comfortable letting them know about our relationship yet. A few reasons: I've never felt comfortable talking to my parents about this kind of thing. It's not that they're unusually strict or anything. It's just mostly me being very private. Another is that he is painfully awkward, and definitely not ready to deal with it. He said he would be okay with it if I wanted to tell them, even though it would make him uncomfortable. But I decided since I was uncomfortable about it too that it wasn't necessary. All this wrapped up with the fact that he just left to study abroad for 6 months, where we agreed to take sort of a break while he's away, it didn't make sense to deal with telling them until we see if the relationship is actually going to restart when he gets back.
At this point I feel like I disrespected my parents, and I'm afraid that if/when I tell them about our relationship they'll hate him (and be extremely angry at me) because we hid it from them. Heck, we even hid it from our friends for awhile. I just don't like people knowing my personal business. What I want to do when I tell them is just tell them we only just started dating so that they don't know it was going on when he stayed over. But that's still lying, and it could come back to bite me in the ass.
Any thoughts? | My SO needed a place to stay for a couple days over a holiday break because he lives overseas and couldn't go back to his family. Hid our relationship from my parents while he was staying over. Feeling guilty, but mostly scared of what my parents reaction will be if I tell them we're dating. |
t3_373dc2 | relationships | My [22M] girlfriend [23F] of a complicated but very long time, saved nudes she sent her boyfriend before me. | Keep in mind, none of this is snooping. We go through each other's stuff all the time.
I accidentally found an email she sent her boyfriend before me in 2012. I recognized the pictures because she sent them to me two weeks later. I was furious and asked her to delete them. I know she didn't actually do anything wrong but it felt like she had cheated on me.
Two months later or so I'm trying to fix her computer wallpaper and I see she saved them. She saw me find them. She knows I'm upset but has said only that she knows I found them. I am livid. I want to walk out right now. I was going to ask her to marry me in August on the 10th anniversary of our meeting. She was moving in with me.
Why wouldn't she just delete them? Do I seriously need to leave for her to see it hurts me? | girlfriend saved nudes that I asked her to delete. |
t3_4ysa0w | relationships | I 22(F) fantasize about a different life without my (22M) boyfriend, after a year together. | Before I get in to this, I want it to be known that I love him, and I deeply care about his happiness. We bicker quite a bit though and recently my bf has become a jealous person.
Now, here's my problem, I'm 22 years old and I can't stop thinking and fantasizing about my life without my SO.
I've recently lost all want for sex with him and I'm wondering if maybe my mind is just wandering?
I'm especially intoxicated with thoughts of a previous fling I had (let's call him P, 25yo) years before I met my bf, although I was still talking to P right before I got with my boyfriend (as friends but with some flirt). And suddenly, I can not stop thinking about him, he even jumps in my mind when I'm masturbating (this brings so much guilt, especially when it's the thoughts of my time with him that makes me reach climax).
I feel incredibly guilty and I know my boyfriend can tell somethings up but I just can't stop thinking of P, or my life if I wasn't with my bf.
It's not just that though, at times I really miss being single and I feel like my life would be filled with more exploring and spontaneity if I wasn't with him.
Has anyone ever felt this? Is this just a thing I'm feeling that will pass? Or am I truly over my relationship?
When I think about my future, I'm afraid that if he's in it I won't do the things I want to do in life. But when I've talked to him about this he assumes it's because I just want to be single and sleep around which I don't, I just want excitement again.
Also, I messed up the title, he's 21. | I have had fantasies about a life without my boyfriend. Don't know if this is a phase or if it means I'm not happy anymore. Need advice. |
t3_3fxbto | relationships | My (18F) girlfriend hates all drugs due to past abuses and says she can't get over me (18M) doing them or even having a different opinion on them | We have only been together a little over 3 months and I'm afraid this issue will snowball into something much larger in the future. My girlfriend was sexually abused and neglected by her parents who were addicts and she says that drugs indirectly played a role in her traumatic upbringing. Because of this she says she will never do them or want anyone she cares about to do them.
Prior to our relationship I would smoke weed and occasionally drink(I know I'm underage). But since we got to together I gave it up for her because it wasn't a big deal for me, and I thought that would be the end of it. But since we've began to open up to each other more she's told me that it still bothers her that it feels like my choice to be with her is the reason I stopped smoking and not a choice of my own because she told me her story. Our different opinions have been a topic for debate for a long time and we never seem to get anywhere with these arguments and I feel like each time we fight about it the situation only gets worse.
In our fights when she gets very upset she tells me things like she doesn't feel like I care for her enough, or she feels that she puts more effort in to our relationship than I do. These things make me feel awful like I'm really not a good enough boyfriend to her. And in our most recent argument she told me that she felt like I didn't love her enough to change my opinion on drug use. We've made up every time but the problem has never been solved and I just don't feel I can change my opinion by her request. I just don't know to how to proceed with our relationship because I really do care about her more than I thought I could care for anyone else, but I don't want to feel like my feelings are clouding my judgement on the makings of a potentially abusive relationship in the future. | gf was abused all through childhood and blames drugs for it. I used to do them but stopped for her and she told me she wants me to change my idea on them completely. |
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