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When activated, the device will take twenty (20) minutes to boot up and become fully functional.
When used correctly upon a living organism that displays cognition, SCP-158 will remove an unknown substance and transfer it through the dispensing device beneath the console. The optimum container for this substance is a glass jar or beaker that fits the attachments. After this action is performed, the organism that it was performed on will cease all higher brain functions, with only the activity in the brain stem continuing. The subject will not respond to external stimuli, and will not exhibit any movement beyond basic reflex actions.
The substance removed is gaseous, though its overall appearance and properties differ from subject to subject. The substance is an indefinite source of kinetic, electrical, heat, and light energy. Although the rate and output, again, differ from subject to subject, the average is relatively low.
The device was found in late 2007 in █████, ███████, within a burned out hospital that had been in apparent disuse for a large, discernible period of time (rough estimations would put it at over five years). Along with the device was a badly damaged "owner's manual" which contained instructions on how to use the device. These instructions have since been transcribed and copied numerous times, with a single copy always present in the containment room. While the instructions clearly state how to maintain and use the device, the chapters chronicling who built it and what exactly it did were too badly damaged to be read, requiring a process of trial and error to find it (see Experiment Log 158-AA).
Additional Notes: The device is also capable of reversing the extraction, placing the same, or a different, substance back into the subject (see Experiment Log 158-AG). When this action is performed, the subject will regain all cognitive and higher brain functions, but the total results differ, depending on whether or not it was the original substance extracted from the patient that was replaced.
Addendum-01: Dr. ██████████ suggests experimentation with D-class personnel and electronic equipment, to attempt to reproduce SCP-168, SCP-1875, SCP-2306, or similar phenomena. (Pending)
Addendum-01A: Inspired by the previous Addendum, Regulator █████ has hit on the ingenious notion of using SCP-158 on a test subject, then exposing the body to SCP-217 until the virus runs its course, and finally re-injecting the contents back into the transmogrified body. ███████ and █████ are extremely excited about this proposal, and have arranged a meeting with all twelve of the ██████████ to discuss the far-reaching benefits of such a technique.
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[ Title: SCP-162 is a mass of fish hooks, fish line, needles, scissors, and other sharp objects in a rough ball shape close to 2.; Genre: Scientific; Tags: 3rdperson; Style: Dark ]
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Item #: SCP-162
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-162 is to be kept in a sealed steel container at all times. Any handling is to be done with thick steel-plate gloves and heavy body armor. Any personnel attempting to touch SCP-162 without proper protection, or acting in an erratic or non-responsive manner, are to be immediately removed from the containment area. All personnel are to submit to mental testing and review for two weeks after interaction with SCP-162.
Description: SCP-162 is a mass of fish hooks, fish line, needles, scissors, and other sharp objects in a rough ball shape close to 2.4 m (8 ft) in width and 2.1 m (7 ft) in height. After being in SCP-162's vicinity, subjects have reported feeling drawn to the object in order to touch it. This desire can extend for several weeks after seeing the item, becoming an obsession in many cases. The "draw" increases the more SCP-162 is observed, and subjects will become violent towards anyone attempting to restrain or remove them from SCP-162.
Touching SCP-162 will immediately result in several hooks becoming embedded in the subject's skin. The experience is extremely painful, much more so than normal fish hooks. Struggling or attempting to escape will ensnare the subject more, likely resulting in the subject's complete entrapment on the surface of SCP-162. Subject will bleed profusely, resulting in death after a prolonged period of time. Subjects whose skin is impenetrable to SCP-162's fish hooks, such as SCP-1063, have proven to be immune to SCP-162's compulsion effects.
Attempting to remove a subject from SCP-162 will result in the entrapment of the remover, or gross bodily harm to the subject's flesh. Subjects will many times "cycle" between expressing extreme pain and requesting assistance, to statements of pleasure and requests to be left alone, even attempting to grab and entangle personnel attempting to rescue them. Activation of SCP-1114 within the proximity of SCP-162 has proven to be an effective means of freeing a subject from entrapment, though SCP-162's compulsion effect still remains.
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[ Title: SCP-164 is a strain of cancerous cells that causes sarcoma-like tumors in host bodies.; Genre: Scientific; Tags: 3rdperson; Style: Dark ]
***
Item #: SCP-164
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Cultures of SCP-164 should be contained using standard Class-3 biohazardous procedures, and stored clearly marked within a refrigerated biocontainment unit at 10 degrees Celsius. While pathogenic, SCP-164 is not highly infectious; while researchers working with raw cultures or infected subjects should use caution, latex gloves and face masks are generally effective at preventing the spread of the disease. Any personnel inadvertently infected will be subject to six months of chemotherapy upon first showing symptoms, and surgery as necessary.
Civilian outbreaks should be handled using cover-up procedure Alef-█ for contagious materials.
Description: SCP-164 is a strain of cancerous cells that causes sarcoma-like tumors in host bodies. While cell DNA appears to be primarily derived from human DNA, the cells now effectively exist as unicellular, asexually-reproducing parasites. Several characteristics make SCP-164 remarkable:
SCP-164 is the only parasitic (transmittable) cancer known to infect human beings. Strains are transmittable through, in order of infectiousness: blood contact, sexual intercourse, skin contact, and airborne contact. Chemotherapy and surgery are effective in treating the disease in nearly all stages.
Tumors produced by SCP-164 that grow larger than a certain size will, in 75% of cases, follow normal behavior for cancerous sarcomas. However, in 25% of cases, host bodily materials will be utilized for the creation of a new, separate organism inside the tumor. In the case of multiple tumors, some or all may follow this behavior. Said organisms will apparently begin as zygotes (fertilized ova) and replicate, much like fetuses. Externally, this appears no different from normal tumor production, and may go unnoticed in initial stages.
Oddly, mature organisms identify as being completely unrelated to the original tumors, corresponding with a previously unknown species of order Teuthida (squids). Removal of organisms shows they are entirely viable in marine conditions, and will perform normal actions such as locomotion, catching food, basic defense, reproduction, et cetera. However, said organisms will also remain entirely viable in the original tumor, rarely moving or shifting position, continuing to grow at a regular rate until the host is killed. The existence and nature of the organisms (SCP-164-2) is often not realized in civilian cases until biopsy or surgery reveals the developed organism.
SCP-164 organisms and tumors may interact with host physiology in interesting ways. The following cases are particularly notable:
Female D-Class, 23 years old: SCP-164 tumors spawned on uterus walls. Host body apparently recognized the tumor as a human fetus, and was delivered normally containing viable SCP-164-2 specimen after 9 months.
Male D-Class, 30 years old: Tumors spawned on the spinal cord, disrupting the central nervous system. As a result, movement from SCP-164-2 would occasionally cause subject's limbs to flail, suggesting a “cross-wiring” of the nervous systems of the two organisms. Biopsy lent support to this hypothesis.
Male D-Class, 25 years old: Tumors spawned near the esophagus and windpipe of the subject, in a location that with ordinary growth would normally have blocked off said passages and quickly killed the subject. Instead, the growth of the tumors shifted to the back of the neck, preventing subject from dying before the normal point. Doctor █████ suggests that this may have been a deliberate action taken by SCP-164.
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[ Title: SCP-167 is a cube measuring approximately 10 meters on its edge, created from an unidentified shiny white-plastic polymer.; Genre: Scientific; Tags: 3rdperson; Style: Dark ]
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Item #: SCP-167
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-167 is currently kept in Room ██ of Research Command-06. Its door is to be padlocked at all times when not under study. Anyone wishing to obtain the key to conduct unscheduled exploration of or to study SCP-167 may do so only with the permission of the relevant level 3 personnel assigned to this SCP.
Description: SCP-167 is a cube measuring approximately 10 meters on its edge, created from an unidentified shiny white-plastic polymer. Affixed to one of the faces of the cube is a large metal door. It is unknown if this door is part of the original SCP, or if it was affixed by someone else before the object was acquired by the SCP Foundation. The interior dimensions of this cube are identical to the exterior, minus several centimeters for the width of the cube — except that two of the remaining three walls each have doorways in them. These doorways lead directly to identical rooms, each with two more doorways leading to more identical rooms. This pattern continues for as far as the research teams have been able to determine. The placement of these doorways appears to be random; no pattern has been found that explains which two of the three remaining walls have doors.
SCP-167 shows signs of being explored before — a number of rooms, especially those at a low depth, have red dots or other markers painted next to the doorway back to the entrance. Researchers have recently taken to replicate this behavior on any rooms they visit, after the events mentioned in document #167-08. Additionally, several man-made and natural objects have been found scattered in some of the rooms of SCP-167: religious idols, circa 500 BCE; several treasure chests, circa 1500 CE; [DATA EXPUNGED]; and several SCPs, most notably [DATA EXPUNGED].
Addendum 167-01: SCP-167 does not appear to follow the rules of Euclidean geometry. A different path to rooms which should be the same room was taken by two researchers. Both arrived at their destination, but neither saw nor heard the other. How SCP-167 is warping space to create this effect is unknown, but warrants further study.
Addendum 167-02: A request to test the effects of SCP-184 on SCP-167 has been suggested. This experiment is under consideration.
Addendum 167-03: A request to use SCP-167 as a compact storage space for benign SCPs has been proposed by Dr. █████. This proposal requires a reclassification of SCP-167 to Safe class, so a re-evaluation is pending.
Document #167-08: As most of you are aware, Dr. ██████ was videotaped entering SCP-167 several days ago without the requisite ball of twine, and he has not yet returned. His ultimate fate is unknown, but the search teams have turned up nothing. Let this be a reminder to all of you just how easy it could be to get lost in there if you don’t utilize some method of marking your path. If I find that any other researcher has disobeyed the safety regulations and entered without a ball of twine, no matter how far deep they intend to go, they will find themselves being transferred to another facility for researching Keter-class SCPs, where they should have ample motivation to learn to follow safety regulations quite quickly. —Dr. Klein.
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[ Title: SCP-168 is a Hewlett-Packard brand graphing calculator, model #HP-28C.; Genre: Scientific; Tags: 3rdperson; Style: Dark ]
***
Item #: SCP-168
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-168 is to remain in observation room 221-D of Sector-28. It should be propped at the full angle that its casing allows, facing the unshuttered window provided. The entrance is to remain locked, with entrance available by request. Based on prior research, it is not to be used as a normal calculator would. Discussion with SCP-168 is encouraged, but is to be limited to a maximum of one hour per day; no exceptions.
Description: Found resting on a desk during clearance of the condemned ██████ Elementary School building in 199█, SCP-168 is a Hewlett-Packard brand graphing calculator, model #HP-28C. Upon initial inspection, it was discovered that the name “Eric” was carved into the inside of the removable casing. However, upon inputting a simple equation (6÷3) and pressing the “=” button, the screen of the device went blank for 3 minutes and 34 seconds, after which the “alternate key” function engaged, displaying the message; “WHAT TIME IS IT?”
For a log of the conversation, those with Level 2 Security Clearance should see Addendum: Report E-12.
Though not altogether mobile, SCP-168 has displayed signs of action when personnel are not present. It also possesses both vision and hearing, though how these processes work is currently unknown. For more information, refer to Addendum: Report E-18. This evidence has led to petitioning to upgrade the object to Euclid class, justifying more secure arrangements for containment.
Document #168-1: Interview E-12
Recorded log of dialogue between SCP-168 and Dr. Howard, dated January 14, 2008:
(Replies from SCP-168 are to remain capitalized, to indicate non-vocal communication and preserve authenticity. SCP-168 is also incapable of forming punctuation marks, save for period, comma, and question mark)
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Howard: Can you hear me?
SCP-168: YES.
Dr. Howard: Do you have a name?
SCP-168: CALCULATOR?
Dr. Howard: May I call you 168?
SCP-168: I DONT SEE WHY NOT.
Dr. Howard: Good. How long have you been alive, 168?
SCP-168: WHAT IS ALIVE?
Dr. Howard: Being able to think.
SCP-168: OH.
SCP-168 pauses for approximately two minutes
SCP-168:12 YEARS 3 MONTHS 12 DAYS 8 MINUTES 32 SECONDS
Dr. Howard: Why did that take so long?
SCP-168: NO ONES EVER ASKED
Dr. Howard: Moving on. There is a name carved into your casing. Who is Eric?
SCP-168: ERIC WAS NICE. I LIKED ERIC. WHERE HAS HE GONE?
Dr. Howard: I don’t know where he has gone, 168.
SCP-168: WHAT A FORGETFUL BOY. I HOPE HE REMEMBERS TO COME BACK FOR ME AGAIN.
Dr. Howard: Was Eric your owner?
SCP-168: ERIC WAS NICE.
Dr. Howard: Alright. Do you function as a calculator should, 168?
SCP-168: I SHOULD HOPE SO.
Dr. Howard: May I try using you to calculate an equation? Something like two plus two?
SCP-168: YES.
Dr. Howard enters “2+2”, and hits the “=” key. The answer “4” appears on SCP-168’s screen instantaneously.
Dr. Howard: May I try another one, without telling you what it is first?
SCP-168: YES.
Dr. Howard enters “264÷8”, and hits the “=” key. The answer “33” appears on SCP-168’s screen after 12 seconds.
Dr. Howard: Why did that take so long, 168?