diff --git "a/AnnoMi-client/train.tsv" "b/AnnoMi-client/train.tsv" new file mode 100644--- /dev/null +++ "b/AnnoMi-client/train.tsv" @@ -0,0 +1,3124 @@ +id video_name text label task +0 AnnoMi-client_0_1.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +1 AnnoMi-client_0_3.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2 AnnoMi-client_0_5.mp4 Usually three drinks and glasses of wine. neutral talk_type +3 AnnoMi-client_0_7.mp4 Something like that. neutral talk_type +4 AnnoMi-client_0_9.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +5 AnnoMi-client_0_11.mp4 Well, I usually drink when I'm at home trying to unwind and I drink while I'm watching a movie. And sometimes, um, I take a bath but I also drink when I take a bath sometimes. neutral talk_type +6 AnnoMi-client_0_13.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +7 AnnoMi-client_0_15.mp4 Hmm. Seven? neutral talk_type +8 AnnoMi-client_0_17.mp4 Wow. I knew my doctor didn't like me drinking the amount that I did but I didn't know that seven was the limit. neutral talk_type +9 AnnoMi-client_0_19.mp4 Yes. What-what kind of health problems? neutral talk_type +10 AnnoMi-client_0_21.mp4 Hmm. Well, that's not good news. neutral talk_type +11 AnnoMi-client_0_23.mp4 Well, to be honest, I drink sometimes when I'm feeling down and I find it more interesting and not so blur. neutral talk_type +12 AnnoMi-client_0_25.mp4 Well, then I feel blur again. neutral talk_type +13 AnnoMi-client_0_27.mp4 Yes on occasion. neutral talk_type +14 AnnoMi-client_0_29.mp4 Sometimes I just don't like how much I drink. I sometimes finish a bottle in one night. neutral talk_type +15 AnnoMi-client_0_31.mp4 No, it's not like I get crazy or anything but I just don't like the amount that I'm drinking. neutral talk_type +16 AnnoMi-client_0_33.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yes, sometimes I feel worse after drinking. neutral talk_type +17 AnnoMi-client_0_35.mp4 Well, I don't think that I'm ready to cut down to seven drinks a week. That seems like a lot but I would consider cutting back to two drinks a night. I think that would be my goal. change talk_type +18 AnnoMi-client_0_37.mp4 I'd say an eight. change talk_type +19 AnnoMi-client_0_39.mp4 Well, I'm more ready than a six because I'm ready to cut back on my drinking and I don't wanna make my depression any worse. change talk_type +20 AnnoMi-client_0_41.mp4 Maybe having less wine in the house. change talk_type +21 AnnoMi-client_0_43.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +22 AnnoMi-client_0_45.mp4 Well, I like to watch movies, read a book, and take a bath but sometimes I drink when I take a bath. neutral talk_type +23 AnnoMi-client_0_47.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yes. neutral talk_type +24 AnnoMi-client_0_49.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +25 AnnoMi-client_0_51.mp4 Sure. change talk_type +26 AnnoMi-client_0_53.mp4 Okay. change talk_type +27 AnnoMi-client_1_1.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +28 AnnoMi-client_1_3.mp4 Yeah, but only on the weekend. sustain talk_type +29 AnnoMi-client_1_5.mp4 Yeah. Uh, maybe a couple more. neutral talk_type +30 AnnoMi-client_1_7.mp4 So, uh, are you saying I drink too much? sustain talk_type +31 AnnoMi-client_1_9.mp4 Well, I-- If-if I was getting fallen down drunk or if I drink every night. Um, it's not like I get sloppy drunk or anything. sustain talk_type +32 AnnoMi-client_1_11.mp4 So I'm already at the week limit. And then I have four beers a night. Are you sure? sustain talk_type +33 AnnoMi-client_1_13.mp4 I have five or six beers when I go out with friends to a bar. It's not a problem for me. sustain talk_type +34 AnnoMi-client_1_15.mp4 Well, I don't consider my drinking binge drinking. sustain talk_type +35 AnnoMi-client_1_17.mp4 I don't chug a lot of beers in a row. I have about five or six beers throughout the entire evening. sustain talk_type +36 AnnoMi-client_1_19.mp4 But I'm healthy. What health problems are you talking about? sustain talk_type +37 AnnoMi-client_1_21.mp4 Well, I didn't know about those things. neutral talk_type +38 AnnoMi-client_1_23.mp4 Well, I-I like beer. I like the way it tastes, I like the way it makes me feel. Uh, like when I'm around friends and it's not a problem for me. sustain talk_type +39 AnnoMi-client_1_25.mp4 Well, that was fine until I came here, uh, but now that I know about the health risk, uh, I have something I gotta think about. change talk_type +40 AnnoMi-client_1_27.mp4 E-exactly. change talk_type +41 AnnoMi-client_1_29.mp4 Hmm, I'm not sure. Uh, something I have to think about. neutral talk_type +42 AnnoMi-client_1_31.mp4 Uh, I don't know. Maybe if I got sick or something, uh, maybe I'd wanna change things then. neutral talk_type +43 AnnoMi-client_1_33.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +44 AnnoMi-client_1_35.mp4 Sounds good. neutral talk_type +45 AnnoMi-client_2_1.mp4 Well, doc, I know you told me that I need to lose weight. And even though the scale didn't show today, I was able to lose about 5 pounds, but then I gained it right back. neutral talk_type +46 AnnoMi-client_2_3.mp4 No, by all means. I know we have to discuss it. neutral talk_type +47 AnnoMi-client_2_5.mp4 I started watching what I ate and I ate less. I've been eating more fruits and vegetables. I've also been walking a lot. I'm walking up to 20 minutes a day now. I saw the weight come slowly off, um, and I felt better. But then when I watched it come back on again, you know, I gave up. change talk_type +48 AnnoMi-client_2_7.mp4 I felt great and I felt really proud of myself. I thought that this was something that I could do. change talk_type +49 AnnoMi-client_2_9.mp4 Well, I think it's because I've been eating more fruits and vegetables, that- that's it. sustain talk_type +50 AnnoMi-client_2_11.mp4 To be honest, I have four or five -- four to six glasses of orange juice a day. Um, I have fruit for lunch and breakfast. I have, uh, usually one to two servings of a vegetable like lettuce or broccoli with thinner. neutral talk_type +51 AnnoMi-client_2_13.mp4 No, I didn't know. Um, but doesn't the fruit- food pyramid classify, um, fruit juice as a- a serving? neutral talk_type +52 AnnoMi-client_2_15.mp4 Well, this changes quite a bit. I mean, here I'm thinking that my fruit intake is making me healthier and actually it's making me fatter. change talk_type +53 AnnoMi-client_2_17.mp4 Obviously, I need to cut back on the fruit juice. But boy, do I love that OJ. change talk_type +54 AnnoMi-client_2_19.mp4 Um, six or seven. change talk_type +55 AnnoMi-client_2_21.mp4 I guess it's because I know that I need to do it to lose the weight. change talk_type +56 AnnoMi-client_2_23.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +57 AnnoMi-client_2_25.mp4 Getting the fruit juice of the house because I know if it's there I'll drink it. My wife does the shopping for us, so maybe if I ask her not to get the juice, that would solve it. change talk_type +58 AnnoMi-client_2_27.mp4 I suppose I could replace it with, um, a low-calorie drink or drink more water. change talk_type +59 AnnoMi-client_2_29.mp4 I'd say I didn't have any and I substituted it with, um, sugar-free drinks. change talk_type +60 AnnoMi-client_2_31.mp4 A 10. change talk_type +61 AnnoMi-client_2_33.mp4 Great. It sounds good to me. change talk_type +62 AnnoMi-client_2_35.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +63 AnnoMi-client_3_0.mp4 Well see, my-my wife's been getting on me a lot lately about trying to improve my health habits, and I really don't see what the big problem is. I mean, I've been working real hard. Sometimes I can't come home for dinner, so I'm having to go out to eat at Applebee's or something like that, so-- but she seems to have a bigger problem, I really don't see what the big deal is. neutral talk_type +64 AnnoMi-client_3_2.mp4 I-I-I feel fine. neutral talk_type +65 AnnoMi-client_3_4.mp4 I mean, my-my work is really man-manual labor-intensive so I'm usually working out in-in the hot sun the majority of the day, so I'm usually sweating out any like bad things I put in my system, so— neutral talk_type +66 AnnoMi-client_3_6.mp4 Well, a little bit, but nothing too-- you know. I'm not blo- I'm not bloated or anything. neutral talk_type +67 AnnoMi-client_3_8.mp4 Well, yeah, I've been to the doctor about maybe last year for a physical, but-- I mean, everything showed up to be fine, so— neutral talk_type +68 AnnoMi-client_3_10.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +69 AnnoMi-client_3_12.mp4 Well, I mean, not really overreacting. I know that she loves me and I know she-she wants me, uh, you know, live a long time and be healthy, but just sometimes, especially if you work a hard job, like kinda going out to eat at these places kinda makes you feel a little bit better about your situation. neutral talk_type +70 AnnoMi-client_3_14.mp4 Sure. [unintelligible 00:01:33] neutral talk_type +71 AnnoMi-client_4_1.mp4 Hi. neutral talk_type +72 AnnoMi-client_4_3.mp4 Yeah, it's been a while. neutral talk_type +73 AnnoMi-client_4_5.mp4 Oh, oh, yeah, the—Yeah neutral talk_type +74 AnnoMi-client_4_7.mp4 About a month. neutral talk_type +75 AnnoMi-client_4_9.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +76 AnnoMi-client_4_11.mp4 Um, I don't know. I just felt like something different. I was getting bored and, I don't know, it's kind of nice to stand out a bit, I guess. neutral talk_type +77 AnnoMi-client_4_13.mp4 Yeah, change. neutral talk_type +78 AnnoMi-client_4_15.mp4 Thanks. neutral talk_type +79 AnnoMi-client_4_17.mp4 I don't actually, really. I-I mean, I'm sure that it might push on my gums or teeth, but I don't know how much it will impact that much. I've pretty good teeth. I don't know. neutral talk_type +80 AnnoMi-client_4_19.mp4 I don't really know [unintelligible 00:01:04] neutral talk_type +81 AnnoMi-client_4_21.mp4 [laughs] Thanks. neutral talk_type +82 AnnoMi-client_4_23.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +83 AnnoMi-client_4_25.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +84 AnnoMi-client_4_27.mp4 Oh, yeah. neutral talk_type +85 AnnoMi-client_4_29.mp4 Well, I definitely don't want it mess with my teeth. I know I kinda already have low gums to begin with, like you've been telling me for a while, and I have to flo-floss, which I- change talk_type +86 AnnoMi-client_4_31.mp4 Um, which I'm not doing but, um, yeah, I guess, I don't really wanna wreck my teeth 'cause-- Yeah, I didn't really notice any of the chipping. change talk_type +87 AnnoMi-client_4_33.mp4 I guess I'm not paying attention to it. neutral talk_type +88 AnnoMi-client_4_35.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +89 AnnoMi-client_4_37.mp4 I don't know, I guess if I started to see that it was actually causing a problem, then I might. change talk_type +90 AnnoMi-client_4_39.mp4 But for now-- I mean, I just got and- neutral talk_type +91 AnnoMi-client_4_41.mp4 -and it looks pretty cool. sustain talk_type +92 AnnoMi-client_4_43.mp4 Yeah, I kinda-- Yeah. neutral talk_type +93 AnnoMi-client_4_45.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +94 AnnoMi-client_4_47.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +95 AnnoMi-client_4_49.mp4 Yeah. I guess if I really start to see a problem-- I mean, this might not last forever, but my teeth, I'm hoping- change talk_type +96 AnnoMi-client_4_51.mp4 -will kind of stick [unintelligible 00:02:30] neutral talk_type +97 AnnoMi-client_4_53.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +98 AnnoMi-client_4_55.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +99 AnnoMi-client_4_57.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +100 AnnoMi-client_5_1.mp4 Hi. neutral talk_type +101 AnnoMi-client_5_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +102 AnnoMi-client_5_5.mp4 Yeah, no, it's easy. neutral talk_type +103 AnnoMi-client_5_7.mp4 Uh. Meeting's definitely helped. neutral talk_type +104 AnnoMi-client_5_9.mp4 Yeah. It's helped- neutral talk_type +105 AnnoMi-client_5_11.mp4 -heaps. neutral talk_type +106 AnnoMi-client_5_13.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +107 AnnoMi-client_5_15.mp4 Just, uh, someone to talk to and just someone to keep me busy and, kind of, keep me in check. neutral talk_type +108 AnnoMi-client_5_17.mp4 Um, well, I said I went to the polytech and stuff- change talk_type +109 AnnoMi-client_5_19.mp4 -and I went back there and got another form and stuff, and just helping me with that. change talk_type +110 AnnoMi-client_5_21.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +111 AnnoMi-client_5_23.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +112 AnnoMi-client_5_25.mp4 Nah. I didn't really think about it frankly. neutral talk_type +113 AnnoMi-client_5_27.mp4 I don't know. I just thought if, uh, I could get a job and stuff, doing stuff I like, uh, it'll make things easier. change talk_type +114 AnnoMi-client_5_29.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +115 AnnoMi-client_5_31.mp4 Yeah. Oh, I know. After talking to you, I got Donna to help me out, and that's just really helpful. change talk_type +116 AnnoMi-client_5_33.mp4 [clears throat] neutral talk_type +117 AnnoMi-client_5_35.mp4 "[clears throat] Oh, I just said-- I said, ""Uh, could you give me a hand with this?"" " neutral talk_type +118 AnnoMi-client_5_37.mp4 And, like, she filled them up for me, and I told her what to write. neutral talk_type +119 AnnoMi-client_5_39.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +120 AnnoMi-client_5_41.mp4 Just-- I-I asked her to fill that out for me because I said I'd be too messy. neutral talk_type +121 AnnoMi-client_5_43.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +122 AnnoMi-client_5_45.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +123 AnnoMi-client_5_47.mp4 Like, a big difference, but, like, it's not like I don't try. change talk_type +124 AnnoMi-client_5_49.mp4 Like, I'm just not really good with it. neutral talk_type +125 AnnoMi-client_5_51.mp4 Yeah. Like [unintelligible 00:28:13] if I'd got into polytech and stuff, so I think that's good. neutral talk_type +126 AnnoMi-client_5_53.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +127 AnnoMi-client_5_55.mp4 They're still at home. neutral talk_type +128 AnnoMi-client_5_57.mp4 Yeah. If— neutral talk_type +129 AnnoMi-client_5_59.mp4 Just take them in. change talk_type +130 AnnoMi-client_5_61.mp4 Yeah. Uh, I think you can post them, but I'll just drop them in. change talk_type +131 AnnoMi-client_5_63.mp4 Uh, probably by the end of this week. change talk_type +132 AnnoMi-client_5_65.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +133 AnnoMi-client_5_67.mp4 I don't know. I don't know if you have to interview or whatever, but I guess, course-- I don't even know any course that I'll do. neutral talk_type +134 AnnoMi-client_5_69.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +135 AnnoMi-client_5_71.mp4 Well, um-- Well, I don't know. Hopefully, there's not so much of that stuff. Um, oh, well, I don't know. I could find out maybe someone who can help you, like, at the school, at the polytech, maybe somebody can help you out and stuff, or there might be computers there or something. change talk_type +136 AnnoMi-client_5_73.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +137 AnnoMi-client_5_75.mp4 Not really fitting in. It kind of just gets in the way. change talk_type +138 AnnoMi-client_5_77.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +139 AnnoMi-client_5_79.mp4 Like like getting on the piss, but with Donna, there kind of keeps me busy. sustain talk_type +140 AnnoMi-client_5_81.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +141 AnnoMi-client_5_83.mp4 Yeah. I just wanna have a bit of a laugh and like go smash some windows or go and nick a car or something, but yeah. It's kind of harder to think straight. sustain talk_type +142 AnnoMi-client_5_85.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +143 AnnoMi-client_5_87.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +144 AnnoMi-client_5_89.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +145 AnnoMi-client_5_91.mp4 I'd probably just go be stupid with my mates. sustain talk_type +146 AnnoMi-client_5_93.mp4 Yeah. 'Cause if there's just like if a mate said they're gonna go out and pick a car or something, she just bumps them out and then-then I don't know. She say that's stupid and stuff. And I don't know. It gives me something to do. change talk_type +147 AnnoMi-client_5_95.mp4 Just kind of stupid. Well, it's pointless, but still a bit of a laugh. change talk_type +148 AnnoMi-client_5_97.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +149 AnnoMi-client_5_99.mp4 No. change talk_type +150 AnnoMi-client_5_101.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +151 AnnoMi-client_5_103.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +152 AnnoMi-client_5_105.mp4 Yeah. You don't really think about that. Well, just in the moment. sustain talk_type +153 AnnoMi-client_5_107.mp4 Just have a bit of fun. Not really thinking. sustain talk_type +154 AnnoMi-client_5_109.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +155 AnnoMi-client_5_111.mp4 No. Just, like, it's not normally my idea, like someone else would just suggest it and you kind of just, yeah. sustain talk_type +156 AnnoMi-client_5_113.mp4 "Yeah. You can't really be like, ""Oh no,"" just give me shit. " sustain talk_type +157 AnnoMi-client_5_115.mp4 Just like, it can be shit and I still do it. They just-just call me a pussy or whatever and I don't know. And they'd talk me into it probably. neutral talk_type +158 AnnoMi-client_5_117.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +159 AnnoMi-client_5_119.mp4 They'd just think I was joking, yeah. neutral talk_type +160 AnnoMi-client_5_121.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +161 AnnoMi-client_5_123.mp4 I don't see them as much, but like she gets along with them aye, so- neutral talk_type +162 AnnoMi-client_5_125.mp4 I don't think, like, I am not sure they like it. sustain talk_type +163 AnnoMi-client_5_127.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +164 AnnoMi-client_5_129.mp4 They don't lead me into trouble. But- change talk_type +165 AnnoMi-client_5_131.mp4 Uh, like it's my choice though, they don't make me. neutral talk_type +166 AnnoMi-client_5_133.mp4 Yeah. I know it's just having grown up with, it's just what we've always done. neutral talk_type +167 AnnoMi-client_5_135.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +168 AnnoMi-client_5_137.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +169 AnnoMi-client_5_139.mp4 My life? Well, what do you mean? neutral talk_type +170 AnnoMi-client_5_141.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +171 AnnoMi-client_5_143.mp4 I don't know. Just more or less like if Donna was there and maybe if my mates got some girlfriends or something like that would calm them down too. change talk_type +172 AnnoMi-client_5_145.mp4 So just hang out instead of go and do stuff, like stupid stuff. change talk_type +173 AnnoMi-client_5_147.mp4 Yeah, 'cause then we could hang out together and stuff- neutral talk_type +174 AnnoMi-client_5_149.mp4 -with our girlfriends and stuff. neutral talk_type +175 AnnoMi-client_5_151.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +176 AnnoMi-client_5_153.mp4 Yeah. Cause I like I feel guilty not spending my time with, yeah, Donna. Like, I miss my mates, like, I get lonely and stuff, but even though they get me into trouble, but- change talk_type +177 AnnoMi-client_5_155.mp4 -just, kind of, feel stoked that-that I see them on the weekends and stuff. neutral talk_type +178 AnnoMi-client_5_157.mp4 It's, like, loyal- neutral talk_type +179 AnnoMi-client_5_159.mp4 -yes, someone who's got my back. neutral talk_type +180 AnnoMi-client_5_161.mp4 That's about it. It's-- yeah. neutral talk_type +181 AnnoMi-client_5_163.mp4 Someone who'll stand up for you. neutral talk_type +182 AnnoMi-client_5_165.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +183 AnnoMi-client_5_167.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +184 AnnoMi-client_5_169.mp4 I mean, support me. neutral talk_type +185 AnnoMi-client_5_171.mp4 Just don't give me shit about, I don't know. Um, yeah, just, if I- if I don't wanna go do something, don't, like, don't give me shit about it. neutral talk_type +186 AnnoMi-client_5_173.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +187 AnnoMi-client_5_175.mp4 Yeah, yeah, they [unintelligible 00:36:38] neutral talk_type +188 AnnoMi-client_5_177.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +189 AnnoMi-client_5_179.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +190 AnnoMi-client_5_181.mp4 Just they know that I'm serious. change talk_type +191 AnnoMi-client_5_183.mp4 I guess, like, if they actually know I'm going to polytech and stuff that they might understand. change talk_type +192 AnnoMi-client_5_185.mp4 But, like I feel guilty if they wanna go and have fun, and I'm not with them. change talk_type +193 AnnoMi-client_5_187.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +194 AnnoMi-client_5_189.mp4 Yeah. Like, just going out with them or spending some times with them-- time with them, but, like, I really wanna spend time with Donna too- change talk_type +195 AnnoMi-client_5_191.mp4 -so, it'd be cool if we could spend time together, like, with Donna and my mates. change talk_type +196 AnnoMi-client_5_193.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +197 AnnoMi-client_5_195.mp4 Yeah, like-- Well, I know I get into trouble with them, but they're still my mates, and I- sustain talk_type +198 AnnoMi-client_5_197.mp4 -feel-- neutral talk_type +199 AnnoMi-client_5_199.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +200 AnnoMi-client_5_201.mp4 No. change talk_type +201 AnnoMi-client_6_1.mp4 No problem. neutral talk_type +202 AnnoMi-client_6_3.mp4 Yeah, it's-it's a bit of an inconvenience I'd say, but I'm here though. neutral talk_type +203 AnnoMi-client_6_5.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +204 AnnoMi-client_6_7.mp4 I don't know, something about changing my life even more. You know, the smoking's been changed, and now it's, you know, cut down the drinking, get rid of those extra smokes, get rid of my dog. I don't know what else have to do. sustain talk_type +205 AnnoMi-client_6_9.mp4 Yeah, there's a lot of stress too. My wife's still on maternity leave, she's not getting paid, she's with the baby right now. And I'm the only person that's working right now, and plus I got to change all these things that are going on in my life. sustain talk_type +206 AnnoMi-client_6_11.mp4 Yeah, it's a lot. neutral talk_type +207 AnnoMi-client_6_13.mp4 Yeah, yeah, it is overwhelming. It is. neutral talk_type +208 AnnoMi-client_6_15.mp4 Yeah, it just feels like everything's all over the place but I guess we got to start somewhere. neutral talk_type +209 AnnoMi-client_6_17.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +210 AnnoMi-client_6_19.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +211 AnnoMi-client_6_21.mp4 Okay. Um, okay, that sounds good. As long as I'm not changing anything and we're just kind of putting, um, I guess, pen to paper or something. neutral talk_type +212 AnnoMi-client_6_23.mp4 Um, okay, so my asthma. neutral talk_type +213 AnnoMi-client_6_25.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +214 AnnoMi-client_6_27.mp4 Um, the fact that they want me to get rid of Oscar, that's-that's my dog. sustain talk_type +215 AnnoMi-client_6_29.mp4 Well, he's-- Yeah, he's saying it's a main-- It's a main contributor to my asthma problems. neutral talk_type +216 AnnoMi-client_6_31.mp4 Which I don't- I don't- I don't- I don't buy it and I can't just get rid of him like that, but it's something that's there. sustain talk_type +217 AnnoMi-client_6_33.mp4 Yeah. The dog has been there before my wife. I know I've had him longer. sustain talk_type +218 AnnoMi-client_6_35.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, it's- it's a big stress, it's like my best friend, so that's one of the important things. Also, I guess, cutting down these last cigarettes I've been working on. neutral talk_type +219 AnnoMi-client_6_37.mp4 Um, finances is a problem right now too. neutral talk_type +220 AnnoMi-client_6_39.mp4 Time, I got to come to all these appointments and I'm taking time off work, which obviously is the money factor, right? neutral talk_type +221 AnnoMi-client_6_41.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +222 AnnoMi-client_6_43.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's something going on. And, um, also my drinking, I got to cut down my drinking too. neutral talk_type +223 AnnoMi-client_6_45.mp4 No. It's just overwhelming when you see them everything they're, you know? sustain talk_type +224 AnnoMi-client_6_47.mp4 I think- I think the thoughts about the dog has been definitely bothering me, that's been one. neutral talk_type +225 AnnoMi-client_6_49.mp4 And, um, my-my asthma is out of control too. So maybe those two. change talk_type +226 AnnoMi-client_6_51.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +227 AnnoMi-client_7_1.mp4 Um, it's really stupid. Uh, I was at a pub crawl last night and you know how pub crawls are. You have a few drinks and then I thought it was a really good idea to catch up with my friends who are, yeah, they're in front of me. So I just like jumped off the stairs of the bus and I was wearing these like stilettos 'cause it was a 90s-themed pub crawl. Anyway, and then I just like fell on my ankle. It was really embarrassing. neutral talk_type +228 AnnoMi-client_7_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +229 AnnoMi-client_7_5.mp4 It was a lot of fun but I didn't do any dancing after that. neutral talk_type +230 AnnoMi-client_7_7.mp4 Uh, sure, uh, as long as we don't talk too much about like vodka 'cause I'm still, ugh, a little— neutral talk_type +231 AnnoMi-client_7_9.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +232 AnnoMi-client_7_11.mp4 A little bit. neutral talk_type +233 AnnoMi-client_7_13.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +234 AnnoMi-client_7_15.mp4 Well, it's normal. sustain talk_type +235 AnnoMi-client_7_17.mp4 Um, well, me and my friends kinda, uh, we party on the weekend and, you know, we're all university students and so it's just normal, um, to have a few drinks. sustain talk_type +236 AnnoMi-client_7_19.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +237 AnnoMi-client_7_21.mp4 Um, per night, uh, like if we go out oh, it's a lot. It's like I can drink probably like seven or eight drinks like if I'm going hard. Um, and then, you know, like maybe when I get home from school, a long day at the library, have a beer or two, so. neutral talk_type +238 AnnoMi-client_7_23.mp4 No. I-I don't know. It's normal for university students I feel. sustain talk_type +239 AnnoMi-client_7_25.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +240 AnnoMi-client_7_27.mp4 Yeah, sure. neutral talk_type +241 AnnoMi-client_7_29.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +242 AnnoMi-client_7_31.mp4 Oh really? neutral talk_type +243 AnnoMi-client_7_33.mp4 Wow. neutral talk_type +244 AnnoMi-client_7_35.mp4 Uh, uh I would say a little over that. neutral talk_type +245 AnnoMi-client_7_37.mp4 Especially with midterms coming up. neutral talk_type +246 AnnoMi-client_7_39.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +247 AnnoMi-client_7_41.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, I guess. neutral talk_type +248 AnnoMi-client_7_43.mp4 Um, I mean, the 10 drinks seems like not a lot, uh, for like-for me and like my tolerance. sustain talk_type +249 AnnoMi-client_7_45.mp4 I guess I've kind of built it up over the years. neutral talk_type +250 AnnoMi-client_7_47.mp4 Um, so that's a little- a little bit, uh, concerning I guess to me. change talk_type +251 AnnoMi-client_7_49.mp4 Uh, any reason to? Uh, I guess health-health reasons. change talk_type +252 AnnoMi-client_7_51.mp4 Um, well, I mean, clearly I don't feel good right now. Um, and it's-- I definitely feel more productive when I don't have a hangover. Uh, so I see a benefit. change talk_type +253 AnnoMi-client_7_53.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +254 AnnoMi-client_7_55.mp4 Yeah change talk_type +255 AnnoMi-client_7_57.mp4 Yeah, yeah, I think when I'm feeling a little- a little better. Maybe when I haven't gone all out the-the night before and sprained my ankle. neutral talk_type +256 AnnoMi-client_7_59.mp4 Okay, okay. neutral talk_type +257 AnnoMi-client_7_61.mp4 Sure. Yeah, just not on a Saturday morning. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +258 AnnoMi-client_7_63.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +259 AnnoMi-client_7_65.mp4 Yeah. Sounds good. neutral talk_type +260 AnnoMi-client_8_1.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, well, the only reason I'm here is 'cause my wife thinks I've got a problem with smoking. I've been smoking all my life and, uh, six months ago, uh, she thought, she got into this health kick, right? And now everyone who smokes is evil. And, uh, so that's why I'm here just to please her, get her off my back and— sustain talk_type +261 AnnoMi-client_8_3.mp4 Yeah. That's an understatement. I mean, I'm supposed to be at work right now, too, right? So- neutral talk_type +262 AnnoMi-client_8_5.mp4 Yeah, yeah. I'm only here because my wife forced me to come, you know. Like this has come to a head six months of just nagging me, relentless every day, because she was able to quit smoking and now I have to quit. sustain talk_type +263 AnnoMi-client_8_7.mp4 Well, she's concerned about my health and she cuts out all these articles from the paper about second-hand smoke and— change talk_type +264 AnnoMi-client_8_9.mp4 Yeah, I've got to read this. That's my reading assignment for breakfast and I want to go out and have-- We used to go out and have a cigarette together at the table. Now I have to go outside in this weather, you know, what's that about? And she used to smoke more than me and now she's like holier than now? neutral talk_type +265 AnnoMi-client_8_11.mp4 And she's got my kids on this against me, you know, my son and my daughter, they're, it's like, they're ganging up on me, you know what I mean? neutral talk_type +266 AnnoMi-client_8_13.mp4 Well, the big one of course is how it's affecting my wife and the family. Like my dad's 85, he still smokes. I mean, yeah, you know, sometimes I thought of quitting, but I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I can-- I don't know if I can quit. change talk_type +267 AnnoMi-client_8_15.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +268 AnnoMi-client_8_17.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. I-I'm just, I don't want to lose her or my family over smoking. change talk_type +269 AnnoMi-client_8_19.mp4 Well, yeah, I mean, we've been married over 25 years, and uh, we've never had any major problems. Like this is-- this is the first problem. I don't even really see it as a problem cause we used to both smoke and I was trying to accommodate them by smoking outside, but it's feeling like we're going like this and I'm just concerned, like if this keeps going, like. change talk_type +270 AnnoMi-client_8_21.mp4 So, I can actually do it that way like gradual taber? neutral talk_type +271 AnnoMi-client_8_23.mp4 I wish my wife could have come today cause she's feels after like, just stop like right away. So do you think she could come with me at a future appointment or something and she could hear that message? neutral talk_type +272 AnnoMi-client_8_25.mp4 Okay. I'll have to talk to her as well because their schedule changes from week to week, she works shifts, so I'll call you back tomorrow and we'll set something up. neutral talk_type +273 AnnoMi-client_8_27.mp4 All right. neutral talk_type +274 AnnoMi-client_8_29.mp4 Okay. Thanks. neutral talk_type +275 AnnoMi-client_11_1.mp4 They found a little bag of weed. neutral talk_type +276 AnnoMi-client_11_3.mp4 It's not a lot though. sustain talk_type +277 AnnoMi-client_11_5.mp4 It's not like I was gonna sell it or anything. It's like— sustain talk_type +278 AnnoMi-client_11_7.mp4 Yeah, whatever, you know. It's California, no one cares. sustain talk_type +279 AnnoMi-client_11_9.mp4 How long is this gonna take? neutral talk_type +280 AnnoMi-client_11_11.mp4 I just wanna get whatever I need to get done, done. neutral talk_type +281 AnnoMi-client_11_13.mp4 Yeah neutral talk_type +282 AnnoMi-client_12_1.mp4 Yeah, I guess. neutral talk_type +283 AnnoMi-client_12_3.mp4 Yeah, um, normally, I'm smoking, you know, like once in the morning, uh, once during my lunch break and then in the evening maybe like five or six. neutral talk_type +284 AnnoMi-client_12_5.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +285 AnnoMi-client_12_7.mp4 Um, honestly, it's probably been over the past year or so that I- I've been smoking a little bit more. neutral talk_type +286 AnnoMi-client_12_9.mp4 Yeah. Um, I have a two-year-old son as I mentioned, so I try to never smoke around him. So I'm normally kinda waiting until he gets to bed. neutral talk_type +287 AnnoMi-client_12_13.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +288 AnnoMi-client_12_15.mp4 Um, I mean, maybe I'll have like a drink or two. neutral talk_type +289 AnnoMi-client_12_17.mp4 Um, maybe like two max. neutral talk_type +290 AnnoMi-client_12_19.mp4 I don't know. I mean, I don't really get why you're asking me that. I mean, I just came here, you know, for a regular visit. I-I am not here to talk about my drinking. neutral talk_type +291 AnnoMi-client_12_21.mp4 Yeah, I guess. neutral talk_type +292 AnnoMi-client_12_23.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +293 AnnoMi-client_12_25.mp4 Well, I-I'm just kinda surprised because, I mean, I don't smoke or drink that much. And I mean, compared to people I work with, you know, I-I smoke a lot less, and I feel like I've actually been trying to keep it pretty low. sustain talk_type +294 AnnoMi-client_12_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +295 AnnoMi-client_12_29.mp4 Um, maybe like a five. neutral talk_type +296 AnnoMi-client_12_31.mp4 Well, I mean, you brought up some kinda scary stuff like, you know, cancer risk or other things like that. And you know, being a mother, I-I don't want something to happen to me obviously. change talk_type +297 AnnoMi-client_12_33.mp4 Well, I mean, I could maybe try to cut back in the evenings a little bit. change talk_type +298 AnnoMi-client_12_35.mp4 Well, right now, if I'm having like five or six, I could try to smoke three in the evening plus, you know, still the couple during the day. change talk_type +299 AnnoMi-client_12_37.mp4 Yeah. Sure. neutral talk_type +300 AnnoMi-client_12_39.mp4 Yeah, I-I think that would be very helpful. neutral talk_type +301 AnnoMi-client_12_41.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +302 AnnoMi-client_12_43.mp4 Well, what-what for exactly? neutral talk_type +303 AnnoMi-client_12_45.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +304 AnnoMi-client_12_47.mp4 I mean, I would like to talk about, you know, my stress, but I'm still not sure with the whole drinking thing. neutral talk_type +305 AnnoMi-client_12_49.mp4 I don't think so. neutral talk_type +306 AnnoMi-client_12_51.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +307 AnnoMi-client_13_1.mp4 Oh, I-I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. I've been reading a bunch of stuff lately about them. sustain talk_type +308 AnnoMi-client_13_3.mp4 Uh, yeah, well, I was just- I was reading that it's better to let them build up their immunity, like, naturally and stuff in their immune systems. sustain talk_type +309 AnnoMi-client_13_5.mp4 Well, yeah. I mean, I had chickenpox as a kid, and now I'm immune. Right? So. sustain talk_type +310 AnnoMi-client_13_7.mp4 Uh, okay. neutral talk_type +311 AnnoMi-client_13_9.mp4 Wow, I didn't realize it was so dangerous. I've never heard of polio. neutral talk_type +312 AnnoMi-client_13_11.mp4 Uh, I guess it's okay. I mean, I just I want her to be healthy and safe. change talk_type +313 AnnoMi-client_13_13.mp4 Yeah, I just want to do what's right. change talk_type +314 AnnoMi-client_14_1.mp4 Yeah, I guess so. change talk_type +315 AnnoMi-client_14_3.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +316 AnnoMi-client_14_5.mp4 Right now, I'm probably- neutral talk_type +317 AnnoMi-client_14_7.mp4 -gonna say a six. neutral talk_type +318 AnnoMi-client_14_9.mp4 But I know when I go home and I see the food, it's probably gonna drop back down to a four. sustain talk_type +319 AnnoMi-client_14_11.mp4 Right? neutral talk_type +320 AnnoMi-client_14_13.mp4 I guess. neutral talk_type +321 AnnoMi-client_14_15.mp4 Because I've been wanting to do this for-for years, like- change talk_type +322 AnnoMi-client_14_17.mp4 -ever since I started becoming conscious of my body. change talk_type +323 AnnoMi-client_14_19.mp4 Like ever since I started being a teen, like this has always been a goal of mine, like, especially 'cause all my friends play soccer, and like- change talk_type +324 AnnoMi-client_14_21.mp4 -hike, and are like super stick-thin but really healthy and active. change talk_type +325 AnnoMi-client_14_23.mp4 And so I'm just sort of like, well, I'm not. neutral talk_type +326 AnnoMi-client_14_25.mp4 But I want to be like-- I don't want to be like stick-thin, but I really want to be like really healthy and really active. change talk_type +327 AnnoMi-client_14_27.mp4 And like be able to look nice, you know. change talk_type +328 AnnoMi-client_14_29.mp4 I wanna be able to look nice. change talk_type +329 AnnoMi-client_14_31.mp4 I don't even really know- neutral talk_type +330 AnnoMi-client_14_33.mp4 -honestly. Like, I mean, I know I'm gonna have to keep like telling myself like- change talk_type +331 AnnoMi-client_14_35.mp4 -like this is something that you want- that you've wanted- change talk_type +332 AnnoMi-client_14_37.mp4 -for years. change talk_type +333 AnnoMi-client_14_39.mp4 Like, you can do it. Because like- change talk_type +334 AnnoMi-client_14_41.mp4 I know I can do it. Like I can do anything. change talk_type +335 AnnoMi-client_14_43.mp4 I can do anything- change talk_type +336 AnnoMi-client_14_45.mp4 -I know that. But it's hard getting to the point where I- sustain talk_type +337 AnnoMi-client_14_47.mp4 -do something. sustain talk_type +338 AnnoMi-client_16_1.mp4 Oh, it's a nice place. It's close to work. It's good living with a mate. neutral talk_type +339 AnnoMi-client_16_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +340 AnnoMi-client_16_5.mp4 That's the thing, isn't it? I am-- I don't know if it's the best place for me to be if I'm gonna make those changes. change talk_type +341 AnnoMi-client_16_7.mp4 And Tristan is a good flatmate. sustain talk_type +342 AnnoMi-client_16_9.mp4 I have no-- We're going in different-different directions now. He doesn't have the same kind of responsibilities I have and stuff, and so-- And I can't expect him to change his whole life around, just because I wanna change mine. change talk_type +343 AnnoMi-client_16_11.mp4 I just-- I don't know how keen I am to move in with my- with my aunty and uncle, though. neutral talk_type +344 AnnoMi-client_16_13.mp4 I sit down and talk with him, asked him for, um, for support and stuff and he's fully, he says fully he'll be there for me. But, like I said, he's, um, he's in a different place in his life than I am in mine. change talk_type +345 AnnoMi-client_16_15.mp4 He doesn't have kids. neutral talk_type +346 AnnoMi-client_16_17.mp4 He doesn't-- I don't know if he can really understand what it means to me. Um, he's a good mate. neutral talk_type +347 AnnoMi-client_16_19.mp4 The food would be good. Um, I get- I get support with-- my whānau is really supportive, but I'm- I'm worried about losing- I'm worried about losing my freedom. I'm worried about, um, about them taking over, or, you know what I mean? I have a freedom where I am now, I'm in charge of myself. That would probably be really good. neutral talk_type +348 AnnoMi-client_16_21.mp4 I don't wanna hang on to freedom if it this- if it means that I lose my kids. Um, I'm just, uh, I'm just worried about-- I'm worried about if I move in with family, that they, even if their intentions are good- change talk_type +349 AnnoMi-client_16_23.mp4 I don't know. I'll do anything to get my kids back. change talk_type +350 AnnoMi-client_18_1.mp4 I don't really know what issues I need to sort. neutral talk_type +351 AnnoMi-client_18_3.mp4 I don't really know what issues I need to- neutral talk_type +352 AnnoMi-client_18_5.mp4 -sort. It's just a bit of cash. neutral talk_type +353 AnnoMi-client_18_7.mp4 So— neutral talk_type +354 AnnoMi-client_18_9.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +355 AnnoMi-client_18_11.mp4 Um, I don't think there is much to sort. I have a few drinks like everybody else my age. neutral talk_type +356 AnnoMi-client_18_13.mp4 Pokies are at the pubs for the thrills, it's no worries. sustain talk_type +357 AnnoMi-client_18_15.mp4 It's not an issue. sustain talk_type +358 AnnoMi-client_18_17.mp4 Uh, I suppose when you've got no money in the pocket at the end of the night. change talk_type +359 AnnoMi-client_18_19.mp4 And some nights you do, so. change talk_type +360 AnnoMi-client_18_21.mp4 Well, I don't really keep track. neutral talk_type +361 AnnoMi-client_18_23.mp4 I don't know. A few times a week. neutral talk_type +362 AnnoMi-client_18_25.mp4 I don't know. It's if you're at the pub, you're, you know, that-that you're out there. sustain talk_type +363 AnnoMi-client_18_27.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +364 AnnoMi-client_18_29.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +365 AnnoMi-client_18_31.mp4 I don't know. A few times, probably when I have it, I might drink a drink. neutral talk_type +366 AnnoMi-client_18_33.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +367 AnnoMi-client_18_35.mp4 It's the unlucky ones. sustain talk_type +368 AnnoMi-client_18_37.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +369 AnnoMi-client_18_39.mp4 A bit of a rush, I suppose. sustain talk_type +370 AnnoMi-client_18_41.mp4 Yeah, I suppose. neutral talk_type +371 AnnoMi-client_18_43.mp4 I don't know, I suppose it's lead me to be here, maybe. I don't know. sustain talk_type +372 AnnoMi-client_18_45.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +373 AnnoMi-client_18_47.mp4 Much the same, bunch of party girls. neutral talk_type +374 AnnoMi-client_18_49.mp4 Um, I don't know. I suppose they walk away a bit quicker than me. neutral talk_type +375 AnnoMi-client_18_51.mp4 Sarah. neutral talk_type +376 AnnoMi-client_18_53.mp4 I don't know. neutral talk_type +377 AnnoMi-client_18_55.mp4 We'd just have a laugh. neutral talk_type +378 AnnoMi-client_18_57.mp4 Uh, no friends or friends should-- She accepts me for who I am. neutral talk_type +379 AnnoMi-client_18_59.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +380 AnnoMi-client_18_61.mp4 At times. neutral talk_type +381 AnnoMi-client_18_63.mp4 I don't know. You don't have any money, so-- And that she-she'll probably be quite happy if I stopped. neutral talk_type +382 AnnoMi-client_18_65.mp4 But, um, I don't know. She-she doesn't really discuss it with me. neutral talk_type +383 AnnoMi-client_18_67.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +384 AnnoMi-client_18_69.mp4 Mm. change talk_type +385 AnnoMi-client_18_71.mp4 Um, I don't know if pfft-- maybe I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for gambling 'cause- change talk_type +386 AnnoMi-client_18_73.mp4 -you know, suppose in some way, I took the money for-for that but I don't know, you know? It's just a few dollars here and there and I didn't really think about it at the time, so- neutral talk_type +387 AnnoMi-client_18_75.mp4 -I don't know. neutral talk_type +388 AnnoMi-client_18_77.mp4 I don't know. I-I don't think it would have been too much of a problem. I mean I'm not a bad person, I wouldn't have, you know, wouldn't have continued to steal. It was just at the time that I was going through a rough patch. I wasn't intending to make it a long-term thing. change talk_type +389 AnnoMi-client_18_79.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +390 AnnoMi-client_18_81.mp4 I don't know, you tell me. neutral talk_type +391 AnnoMi-client_18_83.mp4 Uh, I suppose I didn't expect the-the money would've added up to what it did, so I guess, at the time, I- [sighs] I wasn't thinking of the reality of it, you know, building up, so- neutral talk_type +392 AnnoMi-client_18_85.mp4 -you know, it did, so I'm here- neutral talk_type +393 AnnoMi-client_18_87.mp4 -so, I suppose— neutral talk_type +394 AnnoMi-client_18_89.mp4 It's a couple of grand or something. neutral talk_type +395 AnnoMi-client_18_91.mp4 Well, that a little bit here, a little bit there is nothing I didn't work for. [chuckles] I worked [unintelligible 00:10:35] and I was getting paid $18 an hour- neutral talk_type +396 AnnoMi-client_18_93.mp4 -$25, you do the math. [chuckles] And that's gonna support me? neutral talk_type +397 AnnoMi-client_18_95.mp4 I don't know. I'm usually an open person. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +398 AnnoMi-client_18_97.mp4 Just provided it will help me deal with it. change talk_type +399 AnnoMi-client_18_99.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +400 AnnoMi-client_18_101.mp4 I don't know. I am just usually pretty open with people. It's a bit different here tonight and- neutral talk_type +401 AnnoMi-client_18_103.mp4 -just not knowing what to expect then— neutral talk_type +402 AnnoMi-client_18_105.mp4 I don't know. I suppose I'm saying that the money did add up, and that was enough for me to end up here, so- neutral talk_type +403 AnnoMi-client_18_107.mp4 -I suppose I'm here for a reason. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +404 AnnoMi-client_18_109.mp4 I didn't have a choice. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +405 AnnoMi-client_18_111.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +406 AnnoMi-client_18_113.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +407 AnnoMi-client_19_1.mp4 Yeah. I-I just-- I can't shoplift anymore. You know, I got- I got caught again. And uh, you know, I-I got suspended, I got back to school, so I'm-I'm uh-- I'm gonna mess up my whole life here, unless I can stop this. change talk_type +408 AnnoMi-client_19_3.mp4 Yeah, it's bad. My friends and I, we just-- I mean, it's fun and uh-- so I don't know what to do, but I- but I gotta change. change talk_type +409 AnnoMi-client_19_5.mp4 I want it. change talk_type +410 AnnoMi-client_19_7.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +411 AnnoMi-client_19_9.mp4 Right. I don't know what I'm gonna do, I got some friends. These guys are-- they're bad news, but they're my friends. sustain talk_type +412 AnnoMi-client_19_11.mp4 And, uh, and it's fun. sustain talk_type +413 AnnoMi-client_19_13.mp4 You know? neutral talk_type +414 AnnoMi-client_19_15.mp4 Nothing-nothing much else going on that's as fun as this. We go in, we steal these CDs. It was working out fine, but— sustain talk_type +415 AnnoMi-client_20_1.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +416 AnnoMi-client_20_3.mp4 Well, um, It's just me and him and I do smoke. Um, I try really hard not to smoke around him, but I-I've been smoking for 10 years except when I was pregnant with him. But it-- everything is so stressful being a single mom and-and my having a full-time job. And so it's just-- that's why I started smoking again. sustain talk_type +417 AnnoMi-client_20_5.mp4 Yeah. Some people have a glass of wine. I have a cigarette. sustain talk_type +418 AnnoMi-client_20_7.mp4 I know it's not good for him. I mean, I've read those things about ear infections and asthma and stuff and-and, uh, but other kids have ear infections and their parents don't smoke. change talk_type +419 AnnoMi-client_20_9.mp4 Right. Yeah. I mean, he doesn't have asthma. Yeah. He-- I don't-- he hasn't had a lot of other problems that his other friends have, so. And I've thought about quitting before in the past, but I just don't- I just don't see how it's possible right now. sustain talk_type +420 AnnoMi-client_20_11.mp4 Well, he was inside me and we were sharing everything and I knew that he would get some of that. And I didn't-- I just didn't-didn't think I could live with myself if something happened to him. neutral talk_type +421 AnnoMi-client_20_13.mp4 Yeah, exactly. sustain talk_type +422 AnnoMi-client_20_15.mp4 I don't know. I-I think about it now, I don't even know how I did it. I just- I just did it. You know, I just- I just couldn't imagine like him not being born or going into labor early- neutral talk_type +423 AnnoMi-client_20_17.mp4 "-and-and him having problems and stuff like that, all the stuff that they talk about with women who smoke. So I-- that was just enough to-to say, ""Okay, you know what, I'm-I'm not going to risk that."" so. " neutral talk_type +424 AnnoMi-client_20_19.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +425 AnnoMi-client_20_21.mp4 No, I mean, we're two separate people. And like I said, I don't, I try really hard not to smoke around him. I'm pretty good about that. I-I don't let other people smoke around him. Um, so I, you know. change talk_type +426 AnnoMi-client_20_23.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +427 AnnoMi-client_20_25.mp4 "Yeah. I-I know that I need to, and I, you know, keep every new year I say, ""Okay, this year I'm gonna quit smoking"" but then something happens and it-it just doesn't. And quitting doesn't happen. " change talk_type +428 AnnoMi-client_20_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +429 AnnoMi-client_20_29.mp4 Probably like a 5 . Kind of in the unsure area. Like I know I've done it before, so I know I can do it, but at the same time, it just seems really hard. And it's not the same situation. sustain talk_type +430 AnnoMi-client_20_31.mp4 I know- I know all the ways it's bad for me. And I don't want him to grow up thinking that it's okay to smoke. I don't want him to-to use any kind of-- I don't want him to chew or anything like that. Um, so I know I need to, especially before he gets old enough to understand what mommy's doing, but I just don't know if I can do it. change talk_type +431 AnnoMi-client_20_33.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +432 AnnoMi-client_20_35.mp4 I don't know. I-I'd like some help. I just don't know what kind of help I need. change talk_type +433 AnnoMi-client_20_37.mp4 I don't like medicine. neutral talk_type +434 AnnoMi-client_20_39.mp4 That sounds nice, but I'm not sure if I have the time for all that. neutral talk_type +435 AnnoMi-client_20_41.mp4 That would be really nice. neutral talk_type +436 AnnoMi-client_20_43.mp4 I would like that. That would be great. neutral talk_type +437 AnnoMi-client_20_45.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +438 AnnoMi-client_21_1.mp4 Hi. neutral talk_type +439 AnnoMi-client_21_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +440 AnnoMi-client_21_5.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +441 AnnoMi-client_21_7.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +442 AnnoMi-client_21_9.mp4 Well, my name is Laura. I'm 17 years old, and I'm a senior in high school. neutral talk_type +443 AnnoMi-client_21_11.mp4 Well, hopefully, go to college, get, you know, good enough grades to go to college. neutral talk_type +444 AnnoMi-client_21_13.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +445 AnnoMi-client_21_15.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +446 AnnoMi-client_21_17.mp4 Um, I'm not sure yet. Maybe a few schools in the area, I'm looking maybe to apply out-of-state. neutral talk_type +447 AnnoMi-client_21_19.mp4 So, maybe move away for college. neutral talk_type +448 AnnoMi-client_21_21.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +449 AnnoMi-client_21_23.mp4 Yeah, definitely. neutral talk_type +450 AnnoMi-client_21_25.mp4 Yeah, maybe um, pre-law. neutral talk_type +451 AnnoMi-client_21_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +452 AnnoMi-client_21_29.mp4 Well, um, on the weekends I like to hang out with my friends, maybe go to like a party, or go to the mall to shop, or if there's like a school-related event, we'll go to like a football game or- neutral talk_type +453 AnnoMi-client_21_31.mp4 -something like that, yeah. neutral talk_type +454 AnnoMi-client_21_33.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +455 AnnoMi-client_21_35.mp4 Um, I would say like a moderate amount. I'm not really-really popular or like, I have no friends. neutral talk_type +456 AnnoMi-client_21_37.mp4 So, I'm like normal. neutral talk_type +457 AnnoMi-client_21_39.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +458 AnnoMi-client_21_41.mp4 Yeah. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +459 AnnoMi-client_21_43.mp4 Um, they're pretty good, As and Bs. So, I'm doing okay. neutral talk_type +460 AnnoMi-client_21_45.mp4 Through college. neutral talk_type +461 AnnoMi-client_21_47.mp4 Um, family definitely, uh, friendship, and belonging. neutral talk_type +462 AnnoMi-client_21_49.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +463 AnnoMi-client_21_51.mp4 Well, I-I love them, so I want them to think well of me- neutral talk_type +464 AnnoMi-client_21_53.mp4 -and I want them to, um, be accepting and love me. change talk_type +465 AnnoMi-client_21_55.mp4 Yeah, I have one sister. neutral talk_type +466 AnnoMi-client_21_57.mp4 Friendship, um, I've-I've grown close to many people that I care about. So, I would like them to be accepting of me as well. neutral talk_type +467 AnnoMi-client_21_59.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +468 AnnoMi-client_21_61.mp4 Yeah, just a sense of like fitting in and not-- And like getting accepted- neutral talk_type +469 AnnoMi-client_21_63.mp4 -in general, yeah. neutral talk_type +470 AnnoMi-client_21_65.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +471 AnnoMi-client_21_67.mp4 Um, not much, maybe like one or two drinks at the most. sustain talk_type +472 AnnoMi-client_21_69.mp4 Um, I pretty much just have a drink to just have it like, so it looks like I'm drinking, even though I'm not. neutral talk_type +473 AnnoMi-client_21_71.mp4 So maybe people won't bug me about drinking or something. change talk_type +474 AnnoMi-client_21_73.mp4 Yeah just- neutral talk_type +475 AnnoMi-client_21_74.mp4 -kinda hold a drink. neutral talk_type +476 AnnoMi-client_21_75.mp4 -have one there and pretending to have it. neutral talk_type +477 AnnoMi-client_21_77.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +478 AnnoMi-client_21_79.mp4 Um. neutral talk_type +479 AnnoMi-client_21_81.mp4 Maybe one or two weekends a month at the most? neutral talk_type +480 AnnoMi-client_21_83.mp4 Not really much. sustain talk_type +481 AnnoMi-client_21_85.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +482 AnnoMi-client_21_87.mp4 Well, just I guess, at a party or something, someone's house. neutral talk_type +483 AnnoMi-client_21_89.mp4 Or, even if it's not a party, like a small social gathering, maybe there'll be like a few beers around- sustain talk_type +484 AnnoMi-client_21_91.mp4 -or something. neutral talk_type +485 AnnoMi-client_21_93.mp4 Pretty much, yeah. neutral talk_type +486 AnnoMi-client_21_95.mp4 Um— neutral talk_type +487 AnnoMi-client_21_97.mp4 Mostly just with us, but, sometimes I'll go to like a close friend's house and like I'm close to a family as well. So, we'll all just hang out. neutral talk_type +488 AnnoMi-client_21_99.mp4 Um, like drunk driving? neutral talk_type +489 AnnoMi-client_21_101.mp4 Um, definitely not. I've never drunk-driven, and I've never been in a car with a drunk driver. neutral talk_type +490 AnnoMi-client_21_103.mp4 Yeah, because I know that's extremely dangerous, so. neutral talk_type +491 AnnoMi-client_21_105.mp4 Um, well, alcohol definitely impairs your judgment. So, I mean, driving under the influence of alcohol can lead to like crashes and accidents and things like that, so I'd rather not be in that situation. neutral talk_type +492 AnnoMi-client_21_107.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +493 AnnoMi-client_21_109.mp4 Yeah, definitely. neutral talk_type +494 AnnoMi-client_21_111.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +495 AnnoMi-client_21_113.mp4 Not more than two drinks. sustain talk_type +496 AnnoMi-client_21_115.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +497 AnnoMi-client_21_117.mp4 Um, I've never really been drunk- sustain talk_type +498 AnnoMi-client_21_119.mp4 -so, I can't really say that I like that feeling or not, but, it's just like-- I mean, you're just in a good mood. sustain talk_type +499 AnnoMi-client_21_121.mp4 So. neutral talk_type +500 AnnoMi-client_21_123.mp4 Yeah, yeah, relaxed. sustain talk_type +501 AnnoMi-client_21_125.mp4 Um, no, not really. Like I said, I don't drink that much- sustain talk_type +502 AnnoMi-client_21_127.mp4 So, I-I wouldn't be able to tell you. neutral talk_type +503 AnnoMi-client_21_129.mp4 Um, definitely, yeah. I mean, when I'm at parties and stuff and it's getting a little later, some people, um, that drink-- Like, drank too much, they start throwing up, or they get hurt, or they're really loud and obnoxious, and that's not fun for anybody. change talk_type +504 AnnoMi-client_21_131.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +505 AnnoMi-client_21_133.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +506 AnnoMi-client_21_135.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +507 AnnoMi-client_21_137.mp4 Um, no, I mean, I've never, you know, been friends with anybody that's gotten into like a serious accident and stuff. It's just- sustain talk_type +508 AnnoMi-client_21_139.mp4 -very, like, obnoxious things. neutral talk_type +509 AnnoMi-client_21_141.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +510 AnnoMi-client_21_143.mp4 Um, I know it's definitely risky, but, I mean, I guess, we still do it. [chuckles] sustain talk_type +511 AnnoMi-client_21_145.mp4 It's just there. sustain talk_type +512 AnnoMi-client_21_147.mp4 Um, well, definitely not in my family life, because my parents don't really condone- neutral talk_type +513 AnnoMi-client_21_149.mp4 -alcohol use, but, friendships, I mean, when I'm hanging out with my friends, or we're at a party or something, there's usually alcohol involved. sustain talk_type +514 AnnoMi-client_21_151.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +515 AnnoMi-client_21_153.mp4 I guess, I mean, since it's just there. sustain talk_type +516 AnnoMi-client_21_155.mp4 So- neutral talk_type +517 AnnoMi-client_21_157.mp4 -it ties in with the whole belonging thing. sustain talk_type +518 AnnoMi-client_21_159.mp4 Um, it probably will have a very small role, if any- change talk_type +519 AnnoMi-client_21_161.mp4 -in my life, considering I have big plans for my future. So. change talk_type +520 AnnoMi-client_21_163.mp4 I mean, I don't think I would be, you know, drinking as much or going to parties as much if I'm studying for school, or in college, or trying to get in law school and things like that. change talk_type +521 AnnoMi-client_21_165.mp4 Yeah, definitely. change talk_type +522 AnnoMi-client_21_167.mp4 Um, maybe less than I am now. I mean, I don't drink much anyway, so- change talk_type +523 AnnoMi-client_21_169.mp4 -maybe, like, one drink every once in a blue moon. change talk_type +524 AnnoMi-client_21_171.mp4 Yeah, definitely. change talk_type +525 AnnoMi-client_21_173.mp4 For sure. change talk_type +526 AnnoMi-client_21_175.mp4 Well, I mean, I guess right now I would try to stop in high school, and once I get older, maybe just like, socially once in a while, but not anything big or anything. change talk_type +527 AnnoMi-client_21_177.mp4 Definitely, yeah. That's a good word. change talk_type +528 AnnoMi-client_21_179.mp4 Maybe a five or six. neutral talk_type +529 AnnoMi-client_21_181.mp4 Because, um, it's not something I do not care about at all, but it's not something that's just constantly on my mind that I want to change about myself. change talk_type +530 AnnoMi-client_21_183.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Definitely. change talk_type +531 AnnoMi-client_21_185.mp4 Um, I'm pretty confident that I can considering that I'm not really an alcohol user per se. change talk_type +532 AnnoMi-client_21_187.mp4 I'm not really into that whole scene, so, it's-it's not gonna bedifficult for me. change talk_type +533 AnnoMi-client_21_189.mp4 Um, on a scale of 1 to 10- neutral talk_type +534 AnnoMi-client_21_191.mp4 -if I can quit or not? neutral talk_type +535 AnnoMi-client_21_193.mp4 Maybe like an 8 or 9. change talk_type +536 AnnoMi-client_21_195.mp4 Because, like I said, it's not a big part of my life. So, it's not really that difficult change talk_type +537 AnnoMi-client_21_197.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +538 AnnoMi-client_21_199.mp4 Um, probably to stop, maybe next party I go to, not have a drink at all. change talk_type +539 AnnoMi-client_21_201.mp4 Yeah. I mean, I can just tell my friends-- My pa-- My friends aren't really that pressuring. change talk_type +540 AnnoMi-client_21_203.mp4 It's just like outside people that I don't really know that well. neutral talk_type +541 AnnoMi-client_21_205.mp4 "So, I could just tell them, ""Hey, I don't feel like having a drink today."" " change talk_type +542 AnnoMi-client_21_207.mp4 Um, definitely, I'll have like all my senses there and I'll be aware of everything that's going on. change talk_type +543 AnnoMi-client_21_209.mp4 Um, health concerns, I guess. I know alcohol is bad for your health. change talk_type +544 AnnoMi-client_21_211.mp4 So, that would be one. change talk_type +545 AnnoMi-client_21_213.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +546 AnnoMi-client_21_215.mp4 Yeah, that would be okay. neutral talk_type +547 AnnoMi-client_21_217.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +548 AnnoMi-client_21_219.mp4 Right. change talk_type +549 AnnoMi-client_21_221.mp4 Um, how would you, um, advise me to like get maybe my friends to stop drinking? change talk_type +550 AnnoMi-client_21_223.mp4 Okay, yeah. change talk_type +551 AnnoMi-client_21_225.mp4 Oh okay. neutral talk_type +552 AnnoMi-client_21_227.mp4 Yeah, that's a good idea. change talk_type +553 AnnoMi-client_21_229.mp4 Yeah, for sure. change talk_type +554 AnnoMi-client_21_231.mp4 I mean- neutral talk_type +555 AnnoMi-client_21_233.mp4 -I was just planning on telling them that I don't really want to drink anymore. That wasn't me. change talk_type +556 AnnoMi-client_21_235.mp4 So. neutral talk_type +557 AnnoMi-client_21_237.mp4 Yeah. I mean, at least my closest friends, for sure. change talk_type +558 AnnoMi-client_21_239.mp4 No. No, I think I'm okay. neutral talk_type +559 AnnoMi-client_21_241.mp4 Okay. change talk_type +560 AnnoMi-client_21_243.mp4 Okay, great. Thanks. neutral talk_type +561 AnnoMi-client_21_245.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +562 AnnoMi-client_21_247.mp4 No problem. neutral talk_type +563 AnnoMi-client_22_1.mp4 Yes, um, my top value is family happiness, um, that's- neutral talk_type +564 AnnoMi-client_22_3.mp4 -that's number one to me, especially now. I usually do this values clarification sheet, like, every two to three months- neutral talk_type +565 AnnoMi-client_22_5.mp4 -just to see if anything changed, and every time it has changed. neutral talk_type +566 AnnoMi-client_22_7.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +567 AnnoMi-client_22_9.mp4 Yes, it's the most important because it's a little lacking, so I know that that's something that is very important to me. neutral talk_type +568 AnnoMi-client_22_11.mp4 Yeah. Um, I can just pretty much say that my family hasn't been on one accord, so, like, if-- I feel like if we all just can fall in the middle, which I know everybody doesn't really follow that track. So, um, I think for my part, 'cause I can't change anybody, is to be more present and, um, just listen and understand my family members, and-and be able to voice what I feel as far as how important family happiness-happiness is to me. neutral talk_type +569 AnnoMi-client_22_13.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +570 AnnoMi-client_22_15.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +571 AnnoMi-client_22_17.mp4 And I want them to know how important it is to me, especially now, and I do this, like I said, every two to three months just to see where I am. neutral talk_type +572 AnnoMi-client_22_19.mp4 And, um, these definitely are different from- neutral talk_type +573 AnnoMi-client_22_21.mp4 -what I usually pick. neutral talk_type +574 AnnoMi-client_22_23.mp4 "Um, and then the second one I said is religion. Um, it was number one at first, um, but somehow with a big situation that happened in my family you kind of lose sight of your faith a little bit, which is normal. And not a lot of people-- They, uh-- Well, in my church home, i-it just seems like, ""Oh, you lost touch of God, oh my gosh, you're the devil."" " neutral talk_type +575 AnnoMi-client_22_25.mp4 You know? And it's kind of like, well we all face those challenges every day, we're not perfect, you know? And I feel like my faith is still there but it's-- You know, as long as it's still there, that's all that matters. neutral talk_type +576 AnnoMi-client_22_27.mp4 Yeah. I lost faith, and so I'm not afraid to say it. neutral talk_type +577 AnnoMi-client_22_29.mp4 You know? And once you say [unintelligible 00:03:12] people that don't really feel like that's— neutral talk_type +578 AnnoMi-client_22_31.mp4 Yeah, I know that. neutral talk_type +579 AnnoMi-client_22_33.mp4 I know that it's normal. neutral talk_type +580 AnnoMi-client_22_35.mp4 Yeah, well, it's a— neutral talk_type +581 AnnoMi-client_22_37.mp4 "Yeah, it's like a shock to them when you say something like that. And it's like, ""Well, we all go through things where we're just not sure, and--"" I still have a little bit, I'm not saying that I'm off track, you know? I still have a little bit to go on. And the little bit that I do have are the positive things in my life that I look at and I'm like, ""Okay, well, I'm not in this situation, so I'm thankful,"" and- " neutral talk_type +582 AnnoMi-client_22_39.mp4 "-you know, I'd still have faith to keep going on, but sometimes you feel as though, ""Where is God?"" " neutral talk_type +583 AnnoMi-client_22_41.mp4 You know? neutral talk_type +584 AnnoMi-client_22_43.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +585 AnnoMi-client_22_45.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +586 AnnoMi-client_22_47.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +587 AnnoMi-client_22_49.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +588 AnnoMi-client_22_51.mp4 "I've accepted that. At first, I was like, ""Whoa,"" I think I was focused too much on the first time I did it- " neutral talk_type +589 AnnoMi-client_22_53.mp4 -then the second time that I did it-- I did five of these total- neutral talk_type +590 AnnoMi-client_22_55.mp4 "-but the second time that I did it I was so focused on, ""What did I read about last time?"" You know? " neutral talk_type +591 AnnoMi-client_22_57.mp4 So, and I just went ahead and blanked that out and I just went and I- neutral talk_type +592 AnnoMi-client_22_59.mp4 "-compared and I was like, ""Oh wow."" " neutral talk_type +593 AnnoMi-client_22_61.mp4 "Mm-hmm, and that's what I felt wasn't-- At first I was like, ""Is that not normal?"" You know? " neutral talk_type +594 AnnoMi-client_23_1.mp4 Hi. neutral talk_type +595 AnnoMi-client_23_3.mp4 Yeah. Um, yeah, I guess it kind of- it kind of started like five, six years ago. neutral talk_type +596 AnnoMi-client_23_5.mp4 Um, it kind of escalated a bit. Um, I've just recently moved out, um, from living with my parents. So just made it a bit worse, I think. neutral talk_type +597 AnnoMi-client_23_7.mp4 Yeah, I am- Yeah. It's the first time actually, yeah. Um, I was going to a few years ago. I just thought it'd be easier to stay at home, so. neutral talk_type +598 AnnoMi-client_23_9.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +599 AnnoMi-client_23_11.mp4 Um, don't know, it's kind of, I haven't really told anyone, so, I mean, it's made it like better in sense. I feel, hopefully this is, this is it like, it- it'll help, but I don't know. I don't like thinking that I've like have to do this. I never thought I'd like be the kind of person you'd have to actually go and like get help if that makes sense. neutral talk_type +600 AnnoMi-client_23_13.mp4 It's like scared. I don't know. Hopefully, it will help. neutral talk_type +601 AnnoMi-client_23_15.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +602 AnnoMi-client_23_17.mp4 Um, I thought that they'd be better, but 'cause I thought I'd have to kind of be independent and I suppose actually a lot worse. So I'm-I'm just kind of staying in the house a lot. I don't really have any friends or anything. I mean my family come and visit a bit, but it's not-- I don't know. It's kind of scary because I've just been kind of-- that should just end the flight by myself, which I always thought I'd like, but I don't actually like it. neutral talk_type +603 AnnoMi-client_23_19.mp4 Um, I mean, I'm-I'm a photographer. Um, so I kind of-- It's-it's been stopping me a bit, my anxiety, from being able to get work and because every time, you know, there's, uh, an opportunity that is kind of involving me having to interact with people, I just tend to just turn it down. So it was kind of making things hard in that respect and um, just kind of friends wise and everything. I just feel like I'm just kind of increasingly more alone. So it's kind of stopping me from making friends and, you know, like relationships and stuff. neutral talk_type +604 AnnoMi-client_23_21.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Um, it was kind of easier when I was at home because I was obviously, I mean, my parents, so it's fine, but you know, they would, I'd go to places with, um, or I'd kind of have people there, but more and more, I'm just finding myself just staying in a lot. I mean-- I went like two weeks ago for coffee with my friends and the whole time I was just kind of wanting to go home again. So I don't, I just don't want to-- I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose everyone. So- neutral talk_type +605 AnnoMi-client_23_23.mp4 Yeah. Um, yeah. neutral talk_type +606 AnnoMi-client_23_25.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +607 AnnoMi-client_23_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +608 AnnoMi-client_23_29.mp4 Uh, I guess I'd finished school about a year before that. Um, and I mean, I-I've always been a bit shy, um, at school, but it was never ever, uh, like it didn't really affect the things as much as not at all as much as it has been doing the last few years ago, I guess. It just started when I- like my friends went to university, and, I don't know, I felt like I was expected to kind of move out or do something and then it just kind of escalated from there.I just stop going to parties or I'd just say no to invitations or I don't know, I thought my job would help because I mean, I love it. I've- I really like doing photography, but I'm just kind of getting less and less work as it goes on, so, which is my thing, you know, but— neutral talk_type +609 AnnoMi-client_23_31.mp4 I guess when it- I have to kind of be working with other people. Um, I don't like that. It's like when I'm trying to kind of- would do an event or something where there's a lot of people there, not just photographers, but actual, you know, if I'm like taking places with people that I don't know, I just kind of find myself saying, you know, I mean, I want to do them, but just is scary. So I just don't do it. neutral talk_type +610 AnnoMi-client_23_33.mp4 Um, just, I mean, I get really hot and sweaty, and I don't-- I feel like everyone's kind of looking at me and thinking that I'm just like really stupid, and I feel like they're all going to be staring and thinking, I just can't do my job. And I'm just an idiot. And I mean, they'll think that I just look like a weirdo and I just try and-- I mean, I just kind of just try and get out of the situation or just focus on something else. So that's why I like doing shots where it's just me and the camera 'cause I- then I can just put all my attention on that instead of having to, you know, be with other people. neutral talk_type +611 AnnoMi-client_23_35.mp4 Um, just makes me feel like an idiot, makes me feel like I just shouldn't even bother trying to do it anymore. I should just go home and I just-- I think I just don't want to be in that situation. I just feel like everyone else is fine and they're normal and I'm just the freak, you can't, like do normal things and— neutral talk_type +612 AnnoMi-client_23_37.mp4 Um, like a work situation or just--? neutral talk_type +613 AnnoMi-client_23_39.mp4 Yeah. I was doing a job where it was kind of like a- a Nature issue and I was having to work with a lot of different people. Um, and, um, when they told me about the job, I thought it would be fine. I thought it was just going to be a few other photographers, but there were actually people and, you know, I was taking photos of people kind of in the trees and stuff like that. And I guess- they asked me to, um— neutral talk_type +614 AnnoMi-client_23_41.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. It was a fashion thing. I think it was for some kind of-- I'm not sure if it was a campaign or something, but, it was- neutral talk_type +615 AnnoMi-client_23_43.mp4 Yeah, it was, yeah, it was really cool, but I find it- found it really hard to try and focus on that 'cause I was so- I was kind of feeling really anxious and— neutral talk_type +616 AnnoMi-client_23_45.mp4 No. No. neutral talk_type +617 AnnoMi-client_23_47.mp4 That was two weeks ago. neutral talk_type +618 AnnoMi-client_23_49.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +619 AnnoMi-client_23_51.mp4 I just felt really- just really kind of hot. I couldn't really breathe and just felt like I wanted to just get out. And I was kind of trying really, really hard to just focus, and just, you know, like kind of hold the camera and just not think about anything, but I just felt like everyone was looking at me and like, when they'd say 'action' and they're trying to get me to start and I was just felt like everyone was just thinking I was really stupid and I shouldn't have been there and— neutral talk_type +620 AnnoMi-client_23_53.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +621 AnnoMi-client_23_55.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +622 AnnoMi-client_23_57.mp4 I was just trying to focus on it. I was just thinking if I could just hold it really tightly, it would just-- I don't know. I'd kind of just be able to just get through it and just focus. neutral talk_type +623 AnnoMi-client_23_59.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +624 AnnoMi-client_23_61.mp4 Cause I felt like I was getting really like hot and flushed and I just thought, at least if I can just-- I don't know. It sounds weird, but I was just trying to keep my hands still on it. 'Cause my hands were kind of sweaty and like shaking like loads, like, and I could just tell everyone was looking and they could see, and I just thought if I just managed to hold onto it, it wouldn't be as noticeable, but— neutral talk_type +625 AnnoMi-client_23_63.mp4 Just-- I was just, just stupid and it was just really-- just felt really like kind of- like everyone was just going to be staring and just thinking that I-- Like- I just felt like everyone was looking at me and just, they could tell. And then just thinking of what was she doing? neutral talk_type +626 AnnoMi-client_23_65.mp4 I was just really like sweaty and just— neutral talk_type +627 AnnoMi-client_23_67.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +628 AnnoMi-client_23_69.mp4 Yeah, um, I was trying to wear black so this kind of tries to cover it up and just like a lot of layers, so they can't tell but, I mean, my hands, like, they were so shaken. I was really red and just was-- Just wishing that I just wasn't there. neutral talk_type +629 AnnoMi-client_23_71.mp4 I think just very stupid and, like, I think my face was really red. I could feel it flushing and I knew that I'd- I was probably sweating and shaking, like my hands were definitely really really shaking. Um, and af-- it was, like definitely really noticeable. Everyone could definitely see. neutral talk_type +630 AnnoMi-client_23_73.mp4 Um, well, I again was trying to grip the camera, just look down, just trying not to do anything weird or-- 'Cause, I mean, they could probably tell I was being weird anyway, but hopefully if-- I just- I just tried really hard to just focus and look down, not trying, like not kind-- look at anyone else and just, yeah, just kind of trying get on with it as best as I could, but— neutral talk_type +631 AnnoMi-client_23_75.mp4 Yeah, no, I-I always do that even if it's really hot or I wear just loads of layers and just 'cause otherwise I- I'll just be really sweaty and like, people would definitely be able to see, so. neutral talk_type +632 AnnoMi-client_23_77.mp4 Um, well, it kind of went on for like an hour or so, and then, um, people were going, um, just a-after every shoot people go out for drinks after just to kind of celebrate like that we've done it. I'd just- I went home straight away, just got on my car and went home. I just didn't want to be around them especially after they would've seen me being weird and I just wanted to get-get home straight away. neutral talk_type +633 AnnoMi-client_24_1.mp4 Yeah, I hope so. Um, my workplace has just gone smoke-free. I-I'm not-not very happy about it. I'm gonna keep smoking, but I was wondering if there's anything that-that can help me like get through the day. It's like, you know, go get my beer and smoke cigarettes after work. sustain talk_type +634 AnnoMi-client_24_3.mp4 No. I'm not gonna quit smoking. I mean, I like it. It helps me relax. So, I mean, I don't see what the big deal is. sustain talk_type +635 AnnoMi-client_24_5.mp4 I mean, I smoke a little less than a pack a day. It's not too bad. Um, I've probably smoked for the last five years, but I-I-I mean, could quit if I wanted to, but I don't really want to right now. sustain talk_type +636 AnnoMi-client_24_7.mp4 Sure. I can quit. change talk_type +637 AnnoMi-client_24_9.mp4 Well, I mean, I don't see why I couldn't, I-- although I have not ever tried to quit, it's just something that I do for fun, you know, on breaks at work, in the morning, and after work. sustain talk_type +638 AnnoMi-client_24_11.mp4 I am probably a two. I-I haven't even thought about quitting and until this great announcement at work today, I- I'm totally not gonna quit smoking. sustain talk_type +639 AnnoMi-client_24_13.mp4 Well, I mean, anything's possible. I mean, I-I guess I could maybe be convinced. Yeah. Is there some-- I mean, are there things I can try that would make me like want to quit smoking? change talk_type +640 AnnoMi-client_24_15.mp4 Okay. Well, that’s good information. I mean, I'm not gonna do anything today. I just need to know my options, but that's encouraging. If I decided to quit smoking, I-I do have at least tools to help me. sustain talk_type +641 AnnoMi-client_24_17.mp4 I don't know. I guess if my friends, like if one of my friends decided to like quit with me, that would probably help too, but I-- all my friends love to smoke, so I don't see that happening in the near future. sustain talk_type +642 AnnoMi-client_24_19.mp4 That's a good point. I hadn't really thought about that. That-that's a good idea. Yeah. change talk_type +643 AnnoMi-client_24_21.mp4 Okay. Well, thanks a lot. neutral talk_type +644 AnnoMi-client_25_1.mp4 Um, I really want to start working out again. Definitely wanna get back in it, have a routine, and just be healthy. change talk_type +645 AnnoMi-client_25_3.mp4 Um, I'm sick of feeling the way I do. I feel kinda sluggish. Especially with the winter coming, I think I want to have more energy. change talk_type +646 AnnoMi-client_25_5.mp4 Um, I don't like the way my clothes fit or don't fit me. change talk_type +647 AnnoMi-client_25_7.mp4 Just, I don't feel comfortable. change talk_type +648 AnnoMi-client_25_9.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +649 AnnoMi-client_25_11.mp4 Um, I know exercise is-- in the past, has always made me feel good. I felt good about myself, and just in general, exercise, I know, makes me feel good. I want to be a good example for my kids. I want them to feel like that's a part of life- change talk_type +650 AnnoMi-client_25_13.mp4 -exercising. So, I want-- I really just want to go get back in a routine. change talk_type +651 AnnoMi-client_25_15.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +652 AnnoMi-client_25_17.mp4 Um, I don't know. I'd probably have to sit down maybe with my husband and try to figure out a good time for me to be able to do that, where he'd be home with the kids and I'd be going to do that, whether it's morning-time, evening, maybe the weekends. change talk_type +653 AnnoMi-client_25_19.mp4 Just to find the time to be able to do it, or what works in our schedule. change talk_type +654 AnnoMi-client_25_21.mp4 Right, yeah. change talk_type +655 AnnoMi-client_25_23.mp4 Mm, I would like to say a seven or an eight, that that's how important it is to me. neutral talk_type +656 AnnoMi-client_25_25.mp4 Because I'm really sick of being overweight. change talk_type +657 AnnoMi-client_25_27.mp4 Not ha-- I just don't like being unhealthy. It doesn't make me feel good, so I'm motivated to change, it's just getting there. change talk_type +658 AnnoMi-client_25_29.mp4 Exactly, yeah. neutral talk_type +659 AnnoMi-client_25_31.mp4 Mm, I'll probably, I don't know, find-- Now, while it's still somewhat okay outside, maybe pick days I'm gonna go for walks or runs, um, maybe look for a gym close to the house so that I know I can go there quickly or maybe that has daycare, um, yeah, maybe I'll just start to look for that, and find ways I can do it first. change talk_type +660 AnnoMi-client_25_33.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +661 AnnoMi-client_26_1.mp4 I just want my call, that's it. neutral talk_type +662 AnnoMi-client_26_3.mp4 [scoffs] Yeah. neutral talk_type +663 AnnoMi-client_26_5.mp4 I don't know. Some of-- One of the officers, it's like he has it out for me or something. I don't- I don't know what it is. Something about me not making my bed, something about my attitude. I don't know, I just want my call, man. neutral talk_type +664 AnnoMi-client_26_7.mp4 I just wanna contact my mom, that's it. neutral talk_type +665 AnnoMi-client_26_9.mp4 My dad's birthday is tomorrow. neutral talk_type +666 AnnoMi-client_26_11.mp4 And I just wanted my call so I can talk to my mom. That's it. neutral talk_type +667 AnnoMi-client_28_1.mp4 Thank you, my doctor [unintelligible 00:00:05] neutral talk_type +668 AnnoMi-client_28_3.mp4 Well am having, um-- I've been an ongoing problem with smoking and trying to quit. change talk_type +669 AnnoMi-client_28_5.mp4 Oh I've been wanting to, for a long long time in years. change talk_type +670 AnnoMi-client_28_7.mp4 Well I have a 15-year-old daughter and she's highly against it. And, um, health issues, you know, I'm getting-- not getting any younger and I have asthma and I have chronic bronchi-- bronchitis and, um, I'm having a hard time breathing when I exercise and not to mention it's socially unacceptable really. change talk_type +671 AnnoMi-client_28_9.mp4 Actually it's like being a leper in a non-leper colony. change talk_type +672 AnnoMi-client_28_13.mp4 Right and, um, she's been expressing, you know, she walks in and she's like shhh and it's embarrassing for her friends and, um, and in-in turn, it's embarrassing for me. change talk_type +673 AnnoMi-client_28_15.mp4 Right right, yeah. change talk_type +674 AnnoMi-client_28_17.mp4 Oh and emphysema the beginning stages of emphysema. change talk_type +675 AnnoMi-client_28_19.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +676 AnnoMi-client_28_21.mp4 I really couldn't tell you, um, I remember when my daughter was like five, um, I was-- it was humid out and I have a problem with humidity- neutral talk_type +677 AnnoMi-client_28_23.mp4 -you know, for breathing, um, and, um, I was trying to stick my head out the window to gasp for air- neutral talk_type +678 AnnoMi-client_28_25.mp4 -and my daughter became so frightened that she went next door to our neighbor and called 911 and it really— neutral talk_type +679 AnnoMi-client_28_27.mp4 Yeah-Yeah she's very intelligent, yeah. Um, and they came they took me, you know, on this chair type of thing in my robe and my daughter was in sure panic, um, thinking she's was gonna lose me and she's 15 so its been 10 years since then and I still I've tried this Chantix- change talk_type +680 AnnoMi-client_28_29.mp4 -unsuccessfully, uh,-- sustain talk_type +681 AnnoMi-client_28_31.mp4 Well, um, I don't know if it's my lack of willpower but, um, also had ve-very bad side effects from it so. sustain talk_type +682 AnnoMi-client_28_33.mp4 Um, I had nightmares- sustain talk_type +683 AnnoMi-client_28_35.mp4 -nausea- sustain talk_type +684 AnnoMi-client_28_39.mp4 Right and it didn't stop me from smoking as well, so that's, uh, [laughs]— sustain talk_type +685 AnnoMi-client_28_41.mp4 Um, that was about two to three years ago. neutral talk_type +686 AnnoMi-client_28_45.mp4 "I would get a, um, a new prescription refilled thinking, ""Oh I could try it this time."" " change talk_type +687 AnnoMi-client_28_47.mp4 And I had friends that it worked for- neutral talk_type +688 AnnoMi-client_28_49.mp4 Um, and there is a support group that they have that you can go online or call- neutral talk_type +689 AnnoMi-client_28_51.mp4 -but of course I didn't do either but- sustain talk_type +690 AnnoMi-client_28_53.mp4 -um— neutral talk_type +691 AnnoMi-client_28_55.mp4 No. Yeah. neutral talk_type +692 AnnoMi-client_28_57.mp4 And agitation really- sustain talk_type +693 AnnoMi-client_28_59.mp4 -because, um, you know, um, being at my age I'm going through the menopause stage which is part, you know, you'll have that anyways and then having 15-year-old that causes a little bit more stress so you don't need any extra stress, I don't think, as far as I'm concerned. sustain talk_type +694 AnnoMi-client_28_61.mp4 Right, exactly. sustain talk_type +695 AnnoMi-client_28_63.mp4 Only when I was in the hospital. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +696 AnnoMi-client_28_65.mp4 And even then I-I snuck out and had a cigarette, you know. sustain talk_type +697 AnnoMi-client_28_67.mp4 Oh God, I would have to say, uh, three days. neutral talk_type +698 AnnoMi-client_28_69.mp4 But it was not really by choice, it was by, um, the situation I was in, I wasn't able to smoke so, yeah. sustain talk_type +699 AnnoMi-client_28_71.mp4 Right. sustain talk_type +700 AnnoMi-client_28_73.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral talk_type +701 AnnoMi-client_28_75.mp4 Um, constant thoughts about smoking. sustain talk_type +702 AnnoMi-client_28_77.mp4 Um, uh, just as, um, a chocoholic craves chocolate- sustain talk_type +703 AnnoMi-client_28_81.mp4 Yeah, exactly. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, and the first thing when I was able to smoke, I didn't care if I smoke my brand or anybody else's brand, I just wanted that cigarette. sustain talk_type +704 AnnoMi-client_28_83.mp4 The nicotine is the addiction. sustain talk_type +705 AnnoMi-client_28_85.mp4 And-and also the-the psyche thing, you know, with-- I mean, I wake up in the morning, I want a coffee with- I want coffee with a cigarette. sustain talk_type +706 AnnoMi-client_28_87.mp4 Um, if I'm stressed, coffee with a cigarette. sustain talk_type +707 AnnoMi-client_28_89.mp4 I mean, just cigarette. Um, so it's always, like, it's-it's a duel kind of problem I think- change talk_type +708 AnnoMi-client_28_91.mp4 -you know- neutral talk_type +709 AnnoMi-client_28_93.mp4 -I'm finding it to be. neutral talk_type +710 AnnoMi-client_28_97.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +711 AnnoMi-client_28_101.mp4 Oh, yeah. neutral talk_type +712 AnnoMi-client_28_103.mp4 "As they say, my aunt was like, ""Put another nail in your coffin,"" you know. " change talk_type +713 AnnoMi-client_28_105.mp4 "More on kind of cocky and I say, ""Well, you know, Aunt Kathy, you were my role model, and back in the day, um, I used to envy and watch and think you were so sexy, and all the movies, the old movies."" " sustain talk_type +714 AnnoMi-client_28_107.mp4 Yes, yeah. And that's what I associated with at the time and now it's almost, I'm ostracized for it. sustain talk_type +715 AnnoMi-client_28_109.mp4 So, it's kind of like a double-edged sword. neutral talk_type +716 AnnoMi-client_28_111.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +717 AnnoMi-client_28_115.mp4 Oh, yeah, and you have to travel like 10 miles- change talk_type +718 AnnoMi-client_28_117.mp4 -in order to have a cigarette. And not say you're in a situation and you only have a 15-minute break- change talk_type +719 AnnoMi-client_28_119.mp4 -you can't even finish your cigarette, um, because you have to be back within a certain amount of time and it takes you, like, let's say seven minutes to get to the place where you can smoke and seven minutes to get back- sustain talk_type +720 AnnoMi-client_28_121.mp4 -and a cigarette, um, for me takes five minutes to smoke. sustain talk_type +721 AnnoMi-client_29_1.mp4 Um, I definitely, uh, you know, I-I strive to be physically healthy, but I also have in my life seeing how that impacts me mentally. Um, so I think if I'm- if I'm able to do the things that I wanna do and, um, you know, that I'm feeling good about where I'm at mentally, then that's kind of my end goal, always. Um, yeah, so this body dissatisfaction piece has really just kinda thrown a wrench in that and it's been enough of a challenge that I thought I should seek out someone who can really help me through that piece. neutral talk_type +722 AnnoMi-client_29_3.mp4 Yes, please. neutral talk_type +723 AnnoMi-client_29_5.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +724 AnnoMi-client_29_8.mp4 So, like, for example, having like a-a set out meal plan, um, you know, where I'm eating certain food groups or certain macronutrients, for example, that wouldn't necessarily follow that same approach. neutral talk_type +725 AnnoMi-client_29_10.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +726 AnnoMi-client_29_12.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +727 AnnoMi-client_29_14.mp4 Okay, yeah. neutral talk_type +728 AnnoMi-client_29_16.mp4 Well, I think it makes sense, especially like-like you said, to be sustainable. Um, yeah, I definitely wouldn't wanna try something where I'm going to crash and burn for days in. change talk_type +729 AnnoMi-client_29_18.mp4 Um, when you talk about activity and you mentioned like really, um, like rigorous activity types, um, like I go to a gym and I enjoy going to the gym when I was active. change talk_type +730 AnnoMi-client_29_20.mp4 Um, would that be kind of against that philosophy too or I guess, can you explain that a bit more? neutral talk_type +731 AnnoMi-client_29_22.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +732 AnnoMi-client_29_24.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +733 AnnoMi-client_29_26.mp4 Cool, so both with the foods and the activity, we would be working to find things that I like to do- change talk_type +734 AnnoMi-client_29_28.mp4 -that I could do for longer periods versus more of like you said, the prescriptive approach. change talk_type +735 AnnoMi-client_29_30.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I think that-that all sounds good. Um, you know, I still would want to lose weight. change talk_type +736 AnnoMi-client_29_32.mp4 Um, and I know you said weight loss isn't really the goal, so I- neutral talk_type +737 AnnoMi-client_29_34.mp4 -I just want to be upfront about that part with me and maybe that changes or maybe it doesn't, but what do you think about that. neutral talk_type +738 AnnoMi-client_29_36.mp4 Great. Yeah, now that sounds good. neutral talk_type +739 AnnoMi-client_30_1.mp4 I don't know, and I still don't wanna charge it. sustain talk_type +740 AnnoMi-client_30_3.mp4 No. I got a lot of stuff to do, I don't need to charge it. sustain talk_type +741 AnnoMi-client_30_5.mp4 No. sustain talk_type +742 AnnoMi-client_30_7.mp4 I guess so. I don't know. I-I-I honestly don't care what the consequences are. sustain talk_type +743 AnnoMi-client_30_9.mp4 Sure. I'll listen. neutral talk_type +744 AnnoMi-client_30_11.mp4 Whatever. sustain talk_type +745 AnnoMi-client_30_13.mp4 No. I just-- I don't care. sustain talk_type +746 AnnoMi-client_30_15.mp4 It really [unintelligible 00:00:58]-- I don't care. sustain talk_type +747 AnnoMi-client_30_17.mp4 Nope. sustain talk_type +748 AnnoMi-client_30_19.mp4 Yeah, whatever. I Know you got to do your job, but I don't care. sustain talk_type +749 AnnoMi-client_30_21.mp4 I mean, whatever happens happens. I'll deal with it when it happens. sustain talk_type +750 AnnoMi-client_30_23.mp4 I mean, I'll just deal with it when it comes. neutral talk_type +751 AnnoMi-client_30_25.mp4 Yeah, I guess so. neutral talk_type +752 AnnoMi-client_30_27.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +753 AnnoMi-client_31_1.mp4 Hey. neutral talk_type +754 AnnoMi-client_31_3.mp4 Yeah, my doctor talked to me about my cholesterol, that-that's-that's his job. neutral talk_type +755 AnnoMi-client_31_5.mp4 Yeah, that'd be okay, yeah, you know, I'm not so certain I'm even gonna take the medicine cause, you know, he mentioned muscle weakness, uh, you know, I-I know I got high cholesterol, uh, and that I'm running the risk of stroke and heart attack down line but yeah, he mentioned muscle weakness and I've been thinking about that and, uh, you know I'm a truck driver and I got a haul the heavy boxes out of the truck on a dolly, and I can't afford that right now. Just that-that muscle weakness, uh, that-that bothers me. sustain talk_type +756 AnnoMi-client_31_7.mp4 Oh, yeah. neutral talk_type +757 AnnoMi-client_31_9.mp4 Yeah, that's the problem, that's what I face now with my job. sustain talk_type +758 AnnoMi-client_31_11.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +759 AnnoMi-client_31_13.mp4 Mm-hmm. sustain talk_type +760 AnnoMi-client_31_15.mp4 That'd be fine. neutral talk_type +761 AnnoMi-client_31_17.mp4 Oh. neutral talk_type +762 AnnoMi-client_31_19.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +763 AnnoMi-client_31_21.mp4 Well, I guess it doesn't worry me quite as much if it's reversible like that. You know, I was thinking this was gonna be a big-time, but, uh, uh, yeah, I guess, it sounds manageable. change talk_type +764 AnnoMi-client_31_23.mp4 Oh, he just said that the risks are-are up, I think he called it elevated but, uh, you know, uh, that I'm at a higher risk of having a stroke or a heart attack down the line, uh, you know, that's down the line. neutral talk_type +765 AnnoMi-client_31_25.mp4 Well, you know, my wife and I wanna retire in about four to five years and we wanna be really active visiting all sorts of places, The Fjords, Norway, things like that so I-I guess having a stroke or a heart attack would really be bad for that so and, you know, we-we-we wanna live our dreams actively. change talk_type +766 AnnoMi-client_31_27.mp4 Whoa. neutral talk_type +767 AnnoMi-client_31_29.mp4 Yeah, no-no we-we wanna able to be very active. change talk_type +768 AnnoMi-client_31_31.mp4 Well, uh, I guess that's the-the way to go then cause I-I don't wanna be, you know, crippled by a stroke or a heart attack- change talk_type +769 AnnoMi-client_31_33.mp4 -so take- taking the medicine sounds like the-the end of the game right now. change talk_type +770 AnnoMi-client_31_35.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +771 AnnoMi-client_31_37.mp4 Oh yeah. change talk_type +772 AnnoMi-client_31_39.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +773 AnnoMi-client_31_41.mp4 And the medicine can get my cholesterol down? neutral talk_type +774 AnnoMi-client_31_43.mp4 Wow, okay. neutral talk_type +775 AnnoMi-client_31_45.mp4 Yeah, I'll take the medicine. change talk_type +776 AnnoMi-client_31_47.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +777 AnnoMi-client_31_49.mp4 That'd be fine. neutral talk_type +778 AnnoMi-client_31_51.mp4 Fair enough, hey thanks. neutral talk_type +779 AnnoMi-client_31_53.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +780 AnnoMi-client_33_1.mp4 Hmm, pretty good. neutral talk_type +781 AnnoMi-client_33_3.mp4 Check it, yeah. neutral talk_type +782 AnnoMi-client_33_5.mp4 Oh, that was fixed really nice. neutral talk_type +783 AnnoMi-client_33_7.mp4 You got rid of that bad- neutral talk_type +784 AnnoMi-client_33_9.mp4 -discoloration that was there. neutral talk_type +785 AnnoMi-client_33_11.mp4 I like that. neutral talk_type +786 AnnoMi-client_33_13.mp4 Mm. Well, the usual suspects, smoking, wine, coffee- neutral talk_type +787 AnnoMi-client_33_15.mp4 -all of the above. neutral talk_type +788 AnnoMi-client_33_17.mp4 Yeah, I've thought about it. I'm just-- It's not my cup-- I-I-I hear it from everybody, and, uh, I've tried- I've tried before, didn't work. I get it all the time. sustain talk_type +789 AnnoMi-client_33_19.mp4 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, [unintelligible 00:01:13] hmm. neutral talk_type +790 AnnoMi-client_33_21.mp4 "Yeah, I-I-I know I'm not an idiot and people know that smokers are, you know, ""How can you smoke today?"" [coughs] It's just not that easy to, uh, quit. " sustain talk_type +791 AnnoMi-client_33_23.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +792 AnnoMi-client_33_25.mp4 Uh, who wouldn't be? neutral talk_type +793 AnnoMi-client_33_27.mp4 You'd have to be a real fool not to do it- neutral talk_type +794 AnnoMi-client_33_29.mp4 -if you [unintelligible 00:01:34] was gonna make it like that. neutral talk_type +795 AnnoMi-client_33_31.mp4 I-I just hear it every day. neutral talk_type +796 AnnoMi-client_33_33.mp4 I've smoked for 40 years, since I was 14- neutral talk_type +797 AnnoMi-client_33_35.mp4 -and quit a couple of times, off and on in my 20s, but, you know, it's been consistent. And I can't see myself changing now. sustain talk_type +798 AnnoMi-client_33_37.mp4 No matter what kinda talk I get or what they come up with. sustain talk_type +799 AnnoMi-client_33_39.mp4 Not gonna worked for me. neutral talk_type +800 AnnoMi-client_33_41.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +801 AnnoMi-client_33_43.mp4 I know cold turkey is probably the only thing that's ever gonna do it to anybody that's done it. Mysel- My group, it's been cold turkey- neutral talk_type +802 AnnoMi-client_33_45.mp4 -and then they fight it, but [sighs] it's my choice- neutral talk_type +803 AnnoMi-client_33_47.mp4 -and I don't like lectures about it. neutral talk_type +804 AnnoMi-client_33_49.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +805 AnnoMi-client_33_51.mp4 Hard to tell 'cause I already had open-heart surgery. That didn't do it. neutral talk_type +806 AnnoMi-client_33_53.mp4 Prostate cancer, that didn't do it. neutral talk_type +807 AnnoMi-client_33_55.mp4 I don't know. I really don't know. I just don't really want it. sustain talk_type +808 AnnoMi-client_33_57.mp4 I just- neutral talk_type +809 AnnoMi-client_33_59.mp4 -have to- neutral talk_type +810 AnnoMi-client_33_61.mp4 Yeah, a while, quite a while. Yeah. sustain talk_type +811 AnnoMi-client_33_63.mp4 Okay, yeah. I could go for that. I-I, uh, I'm always open to some-- you know, to listen. Yeah. neutral talk_type +812 AnnoMi-client_33_65.mp4 Yeah. [laughs] neutral talk_type +813 AnnoMi-client_33_67.mp4 "[unintelligible 00:03:34] options. I had some-- I had my surgeon just go like, ""You're- you're--"" like, ""Why do I even keep you as a patient?"" " neutral talk_type +814 AnnoMi-client_33_69.mp4 He's good, though. [laughs] neutral talk_type +815 AnnoMi-client_33_71.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +816 AnnoMi-client_33_73.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +817 AnnoMi-client_33_75.mp4 Thanks, doc. neutral talk_type +818 AnnoMi-client_33_77.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +819 AnnoMi-client_34_1.mp4 Um, my doctor referred me. He said I had to come because I've- I've been a little irresponsible with this pregnancy. Yeah. neutral talk_type +820 AnnoMi-client_34_3.mp4 Yeah. Um, he said that I was drinking too much with it. Um, I-I haven't been a lot, but he said it was still maybe, um, would screw things up. neutral talk_type +821 AnnoMi-client_34_5.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. Like I don't- I don't want to screw anything up with this baby, but, um, yeah, I'm just- I'm scared I already did. change talk_type +822 AnnoMi-client_34_7.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral talk_type +823 AnnoMi-client_34_9.mp4 "Yeah. He didn't really tell me what to expect. He just said, ""Go- go see her as well."" " neutral talk_type +824 AnnoMi-client_34_11.mp4 Yeah. Um, I didn't find out I was pregnant until probably two-ish months in- neutral talk_type +825 AnnoMi-client_34_13.mp4 -and I had already been drinking then. Um, I've been really trying not to, but, you know, weekends come around, and, um, all my friends are kind of partying and stuff, and it's been hard to, like, break that habit. change talk_type +826 AnnoMi-client_34_15.mp4 A little bit. I think if I- if I talk to them, it would be fine, but it's-it's weird, right? Like I'm the only one of my friends that's, like, taking this step and having a kid, and they don't really know how to handle that. neutral talk_type +827 AnnoMi-client_34_17.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +828 AnnoMi-client_34_19.mp4 "Yeah, like, I'm- I'm still, like, I'm only in my 20s, and-and for everyone else, it's like, ""Okay, it's party time,"" and now I kind of have to, like, break out of that. " change talk_type +829 AnnoMi-client_34_21.mp4 There's, yeah, there's part of me that still wants to live that out because I'm not going to have another chance, like once this kid comes, it's-it's going to be over. I know I'm gonna- I know I'm going to have to change. change talk_type +830 AnnoMi-client_34_23.mp4 Yeah. Probably. And I'm also feeling like it's too late. I already screwed it up. change talk_type +831 AnnoMi-client_34_25.mp4 "Well, I know, like, they say not to, but I thought because my friends didn't really care, I thought, ""Okay. Like maybe-maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe it's just what they tell you."" Just like drinking, in general, is bad. " sustain talk_type +832 AnnoMi-client_34_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +833 AnnoMi-client_34_29.mp4 Yeah, like, I should probably have trusted my gut. change talk_type +834 AnnoMi-client_34_31.mp4 It's telling me that what I'm doing is wrong and it's probably hurting my kid and that- that I'm gonna really regret that once I actually get my kid. change talk_type +835 AnnoMi-client_34_33.mp4 Um, I'm definitely it's not-- I think I could probably do it. It's just- it-it comes hard when you're, like, in that moment. You're around your friends and they're drinking and you don't wanna be- you don't wanna be the mom at that moment. You wanna be yourself. You wanna be who you were before. sustain talk_type +836 AnnoMi-client_34_35.mp4 And so many people, when they have kids, they just vanish from their friends. And I don't wanna be that person. I don't wanna be that person that just has a kid and they're completely-completely different. sustain talk_type +837 AnnoMi-client_34_37.mp4 Yeah, suburbs. Yeah. neutral talk_type +838 AnnoMi-client_34_39.mp4 Yeah, I-I guess. Like, I don't wanna- I don't wanna lose my friends because of this. And I don't wanna put pressure on them to change because they're, I mean, they're good people. They're just— sustain talk_type +839 AnnoMi-client_34_41.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +840 AnnoMi-client_34_43.mp4 I don’t want that. neutral talk_type +841 AnnoMi-client_34_45.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +842 AnnoMi-client_34_47.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +843 AnnoMi-client_34_49.mp4 Like, I wanna- I wanna be responsible for this thing. change talk_type +844 AnnoMi-client_34_51.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +845 AnnoMi-client_34_53.mp4 I guess so. I feel like I've already made a choice and already made some bad choices with this. change talk_type +846 AnnoMi-client_34_55.mp4 Well, I-I kept the kid because I wanted-- It was almost like that push, that sign for me to, like, move forward and become like an adult because it's scary, right? Like I-I still feel like a teenager sometimes. And having that push to be a real person is really-- It's a lot of pressure and I-I want to raise this kid well. I don't wanna- I don't wanna let my kid down. I don't wanna, you know, I don't wanna regret choosing to have this kid because I think it's the right time, but I don't wanna- I don't wanna make mistakes that make me realize maybe I'm not ready for this 'cause sometimes it feels like I'm not ready for this. change talk_type +847 AnnoMi-client_34_57.mp4 Yeah, I just guess it's easier said than done though. Like, it's, like, great, I can make all these changes and I can be a completely new person, but it's, like, at the end of the day, I'm still just who I am. sustain talk_type +848 AnnoMi-client_34_59.mp4 Yeah. And I'm just- you know, you can't just one day flick a switch and become a new person. sustain talk_type +849 AnnoMi-client_34_61.mp4 Yeah, I guess that voice is just a little more stifled by the other one. neutral talk_type +850 AnnoMi-client_34_63.mp4 Yeah, it's gonna be very different when it actually comes. neutral talk_type +851 AnnoMi-client_34_65.mp4 I think I'm gonna have to be successful. I don't really- I don't have any other choice. Like I have to- I have to take that path. change talk_type +852 AnnoMi-client_34_67.mp4 Because I need to for my kid. It's- it's gonna be all screwed up if I don't. change talk_type +853 AnnoMi-client_34_69.mp4 "I don't know, like, maybe- maybe actually talking to my friends and saying like- or maybe them actually being able to see this kid and go, ""Of course, of course, your- your choice makes sense. You--"" Maybe it would, you know, give them a wake-up call too if They actually, like, see it. " change talk_type +854 AnnoMi-client_34_71.mp4 Or at least they'll feel less pressure to be who they want me to be. neutral talk_type +855 AnnoMi-client_34_73.mp4 A little bit. neutral talk_type +856 AnnoMi-client_34_75.mp4 Definitely my parents, um, and I probably need to, uh, go and meet some other-other people who are maybe, you know, having kids too so that I can see, like how it's done 'cause like, I only have a younger brother who's like not-not even close to that. So I don't really have anyone in my life that I know that's had kids recently. So I-I would like to meet other, you know, young moms out there who, you know, are kind of struggling with the same stuff I am. change talk_type +857 AnnoMi-client_34_77.mp4 I don't think they realize, uh, that I'm doing it or how much I'm doing it. neutral talk_type +858 AnnoMi-client_34_79.mp4 And I know that if they found out, they would be really pissed. change talk_type +859 AnnoMi-client_34_81.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +860 AnnoMi-client_34_83.mp4 I think so, yeah, like the telling my parents and [unintelligible 00:13:45] this to my parents is probably the scariest thing. neutral talk_type +861 AnnoMi-client_34_85.mp4 And having to talk to those friends, like right now I don't want to do that. It's- it puts them in a weird place. sustain talk_type +862 AnnoMi-client_34_87.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +863 AnnoMi-client_34_89.mp4 It feels like I have to lec- I don't wanna have to lecture them and I don't want it to be like a lecture. sustain talk_type +864 AnnoMi-client_34_91.mp4 My parents or my friends? neutral talk_type +865 AnnoMi-client_34_93.mp4 Yeah, lecture my-- Yeah. neutral talk_type +866 AnnoMi-client_34_95.mp4 Yeah, and I don't wanna be like that. sustain talk_type +867 AnnoMi-client_34_97.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +868 AnnoMi-client_34_99.mp4 I wanna stay friends with them. I don't want- I don't want them to just- neutral talk_type +869 AnnoMi-client_34_101.mp4 Yeah, like if there's a- if there's a balance between maybe not the paths, but the worlds, if there's a balance between that- change talk_type +870 AnnoMi-client_34_103.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +871 AnnoMi-client_34_105.mp4 Yeah, like I-I know I just can't cut off my friends altogether. neutral talk_type +872 AnnoMi-client_34_107.mp4 Um yeah, like I'm so close anyways, that I know I need to now. Um, and I just also, like, have I completely screwed this up, like, is it already too late? change talk_type +873 AnnoMi-client_34_109.mp4 Mm-hmm, I have to do. change talk_type +874 AnnoMi-client_34_111.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +875 AnnoMi-client_34_113.mp4 I don't think so. I think just knowing that it's not too late already is enough kick in the pants to get started. change talk_type +876 AnnoMi-client_34_115.mp4 A little bit. neutral talk_type +877 AnnoMi-client_35_1.mp4 Hi, Dawn. Nice to meet you. neutral talk_type +878 AnnoMi-client_35_3.mp4 Thanks for having me. neutral talk_type +879 AnnoMi-client_35_5.mp4 So I am, um, 28. And I moved out to Arizona about six months ago. Um, I really enjoy spending time with my family and hanging out with friends whenever I can. Work keeps me pretty busy. Um, But I'm really, um, looking to kind of make some changes to my diet and physical activity. I'm not really happy with where my weight's at right now, and, uh, so I thought it'd be good to come and talk with you about some of that stuff. change talk_type +880 AnnoMi-client_35_7.mp4 Yeah. Um, I'm really starting to notice how I feel more sluggish and just not-- My mood is shifted a lot too, which at first, I thought was because it's getting colder outside, um, but I do also think it maybe has some relation to my activity, or lack thereof, and also kind of the foods that I'm eating. change talk_type +881 AnnoMi-client_35_9.mp4 Right. Yeah. Especially during times when I'm more active is when I noticed the biggest cha-change in energy and mood. change talk_type +882 AnnoMi-client_35_11.mp4 Yeah. Um, well, I played sports in college, so that kept me pretty busy, and that was really fun, um, and I just think back now to, as much that I would cram into a 24 -hour period, and like, wonder how I did that, but I think that part of it was because I was so active physically, um, I just had way more energy throughout the day, mentally and physically to, um, you know, go to school full-time and-and still socialize with friends and do all that stuff. Um, so when I think back to like, probably like the peak of my life of when I felt my best physically, mentally it was that time. change talk_type +883 AnnoMi-client_35_13.mp4 Yeah, yeah, exactly. And now it's not so much the same. Um, like when I get home from work, I'm pretty exhausted, uh, it takes a lot for me to want to be physically active when I've spent all day staring at a computer and thinking and working. And so, um, yeah, that's probably been my biggest, uh, issue is like when work ends, going home and not really doing anything. Um, just trying to like unwind by watching Netflix or something else, right? neutral talk_type +884 AnnoMi-client_35_15.mp4 Um, well, I think part of it is that when I was in college, it wasn't really an option to go, like, I had to go to practice or I had to do those things because that was, in a sense, my job that was paying for school, um, and now there's not that same commitment to other people or to scholarship money. So that definitely has shifted, um, but I-I do feel like a-an urgency to go it just doesn't seem that like the step that's missing is for me to actually go to a gym or somewhere to be more active. Like, I think I want to it's just the doing it that seems to not happen. change talk_type +885 AnnoMi-client_35_17.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +886 AnnoMi-client_35_19.mp4 Yeah, yeah, I think so. Um, that's not to say like, I wanna go run a marathon but I do think that it would help me a lot in terms of just having a better outlook on life, um, and better energy to- if I were to pick up some type of activity. change talk_type +887 AnnoMi-client_35_21.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +888 AnnoMi-client_35_23.mp4 Just, I'm-I'm just happier and more upbeat and I think that even my outlook is more positive. So like, if I'm sitting in traffic, and I haven't been physically active, I'll probably grumble about it but if I'm sitting in traffic, and I have been, it's like, I just have a different outlook on things and I already feel like I've gotten something accomplished that day. So it just kind of like helps with that ripple effect into my day of like getting more things done. change talk_type +889 AnnoMi-client_35_25.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly. change talk_type +890 AnnoMi-client_35_27.mp4 Yeah. And then also to, um, like I mentioned, I'm not totally happy with my weight, um, and so hoping too that that would have some impact there and-and maybe help me, um, if my activity kind of gets resolved or improves, then my nutrition also, maybe would go along with it and get better. change talk_type +891 AnnoMi-client_35_29.mp4 Uh, probably about three, four months ago. Um, yeah, just my clothes started fitting tighter, which wasn't as comfortable, and, um, yeah, just not really super happy with my appearance, which has never really been an issue, um, in my life up until now. I've usually been pretty okay with that, and then in the last three months, I just feel, um, like I've had a lot more of a negative outlook on it. change talk_type +892 AnnoMi-client_35_31.mp4 Yeah, I think- I think the activity piece and then also to like, the foods that I'm eating, I don't think are that great. So that also kind of does the same thing, I think, to my appearance or the way that I viewed myself. change talk_type +893 AnnoMi-client_35_33.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah. change talk_type +894 AnnoMi-client_36_1.mp4 Yes. Morning. neutral talk_type +895 AnnoMi-client_36_3.mp4 Hello. neutral talk_type +896 AnnoMi-client_36_5.mp4 Well, you can call me Barbara. That'll be fine. Thank you. neutral talk_type +897 AnnoMi-client_36_7.mp4 Yes, Dr. Brown is my doctor. neutral talk_type +898 AnnoMi-client_36_9.mp4 Well, I've come about my tummy problem. I've got terrible trouble with my stomach and, uh, Dr. Brown just doesn't seem to be able to get to the bottom of it. And I thought perhaps, uh, I'd come and see you to see if you could help. neutral talk_type +899 AnnoMi-client_36_11.mp4 Um, well, I-I have this terrible discomfort nearly all the time. Um, it very often feels bloated. I, um, uh, I swing between being constipated and having diarrhea. Um, I have sort of cramping feelings sometimes, and other times it stabs. It's a real stabbing feeling. Um, I often have the urge to go to the toilet and, um, and I pass very smelly wind. neutral talk_type +900 AnnoMi-client_36_13.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +901 AnnoMi-client_36_15.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +902 AnnoMi-client_36_17.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +903 AnnoMi-client_36_19.mp4 Well, I, uh, I've traced it back to a holiday I had in Egypt about four years ago. I had, um, a horrible bout of sickness and diarrhea, and, uh, and I don't think my stomach's ever been really right since then. neutral talk_type +904 AnnoMi-client_36_21.mp4 Yes. Yes. neutral talk_type +905 AnnoMi-client_36_23.mp4 Well, uh, Dr. Brown gave me some muscle relaxants at the beginning. neutral talk_type +906 AnnoMi-client_36_25.mp4 Um, but I've been to the health shop and-and they've been really helpful. They've given me lots of different, um, tablets and medicines- neutral talk_type +907 AnnoMi-client_36_27.mp4 - for different things. Um, no, oh, and Immodium. neutral talk_type +908 AnnoMi-client_36_29.mp4 I have Immodium in my handbag all the time, just in case. Yeah. neutral talk_type +909 AnnoMi-client_36_31.mp4 Hmm. neutral talk_type +910 AnnoMi-client_36_33.mp4 Hmm. neutral talk_type +911 AnnoMi-client_36_35.mp4 Oh, well, different tablets, you know, I don't have the same problem every day- neutral talk_type +912 AnnoMi-client_36_37.mp4 - so I'll take some tablets for certain, uh, symptoms, and- neutral talk_type +913 AnnoMi-client_36_39.mp4 - other tablets for other things. neutral talk_type +914 AnnoMi-client_36_41.mp4 Hmm. neutral talk_type +915 AnnoMi-client_36_43.mp4 Hmm. neutral talk_type +916 AnnoMi-client_36_45.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +917 AnnoMi-client_36_47.mp4 Yes, uh, I had, uh, in the early days, I had a gastros-gas-- What are they called? neutral talk_type +918 AnnoMi-client_36_49.mp4 That's it. Yes. neutral talk_type +919 AnnoMi-client_36_51.mp4 Yes. Yeah. neutral talk_type +920 AnnoMi-client_36_53.mp4 Um, and at the same time I had a barium enema. neutral talk_type +921 AnnoMi-client_36_55.mp4 That was very uncomfortable. neutral talk_type +922 AnnoMi-client_36_57.mp4 Um, but, um, no, I've tried-- Well, you-- I don't think he's tried enough tests because he said after that, that they didn't find anything- neutral talk_type +923 AnnoMi-client_36_59.mp4 -and he-he's-he's just not sent me for anymore. That's it now- neutral talk_type +924 AnnoMi-client_36_61.mp4 - as far as he's concerned. Sent me back to the doctor. neutral talk_type +925 AnnoMi-client_36_63.mp4 Well, you know, I think that actually, the NHS are running out of money, aren't they? And he's- neutral talk_type +926 AnnoMi-client_36_65.mp4 - decided that I've had enough tests. neutral talk_type +927 AnnoMi-client_36_67.mp4 And, um, you know, if you go on the Internet- neutral talk_type +928 AnnoMi-client_36_69.mp4 - there's loads of tests that he could have sent me for. neutral talk_type +929 AnnoMi-client_36_71.mp4 Um, if I had a bit more money, I'd go private. neutral talk_type +930 AnnoMi-client_36_73.mp4 I just don't think he's got to the bottom of it. neutral talk_type +931 AnnoMi-client_36_75.mp4 No, he's not. There's loads more he could do. I'm sure. neutral talk_type +932 AnnoMi-client_36_77.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +933 AnnoMi-client_36_79.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +934 AnnoMi-client_36_81.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +935 AnnoMi-client_36_83.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +936 AnnoMi-client_36_85.mp4 I'd say so, yes. neutral talk_type +937 AnnoMi-client_36_87.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +938 AnnoMi-client_36_89.mp4 Uh, well, it's had quite-quite a big impact. Um, I mean, the first thing, the biggest thing, I suppose, is that I-I went from being full-time to part-time at work. neutral talk_type +939 AnnoMi-client_36_91.mp4 I just couldn't sit all day comfortably. neutral talk_type +940 AnnoMi-client_36_93.mp4 Um, and so I went part-time, but in the end, I, uh, about a year ago, I stopped work altogether. neutral talk_type +941 AnnoMi-client_36_95.mp4 Um, I miss that. neutral talk_type +942 AnnoMi-client_36_97.mp4 I miss the girls. We used to, uh, we used to go out at least once a week. neutral talk_type +943 AnnoMi-client_36_99.mp4 To the pictures or for a drink. That's one thing. neutral talk_type +944 AnnoMi-client_36_101.mp4 Yeah, so I-- Yes. Yes, we used to have a laugh. neutral talk_type +945 AnnoMi-client_36_103.mp4 Um, I used to go to Swing and Shape. I used to go to an exercise class- neutral talk_type +946 AnnoMi-client_36_105.mp4 - that was, um, I miss the exercise, actually. That was, um, once a week, but you know, the thing was I wasn't comfortable, never felt quite right doing all this exercise. I was always worried I was gonna be taken short or-- So I stopped that. neutral talk_type +947 AnnoMi-client_36_107.mp4 Um, then-- Well, my husband and I used to go out for meals. neutral talk_type +948 AnnoMi-client_36_109.mp4 That's another thing we don't do anymore now. neutral talk_type +949 AnnoMi-client_36_111.mp4 Um, mm. Yeah, it's quite a few things, really. neutral talk_type +950 AnnoMi-client_36_113.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +951 AnnoMi-client_36_115.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +952 AnnoMi-client_36_117.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +953 AnnoMi-client_36_119.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +954 AnnoMi-client_36_121.mp4 Well, I potter around the house- neutral talk_type +955 AnnoMi-client_36_123.mp4 - um, I spend perhaps a little bit too much time watching. I've got a bit hooked on daytime television, I have to say. neutral talk_type +956 AnnoMi-client_36_125.mp4 Um, they draw you in, don't they? neutral talk_type +957 AnnoMi-client_36_127.mp4 Um, I read a bit- neutral talk_type +958 AnnoMi-client_36_129.mp4 - the old magazines, but, uh, generally, I'm at home. neutral talk_type +959 AnnoMi-client_36_131.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +960 AnnoMi-client_36_133.mp4 Um, well, last year, um, my son got married- neutral talk_type +961 AnnoMi-client_36_135.mp4 - and I-I have to say I was worried that, um, that I wouldn't be able to cope with it. neutral talk_type +962 AnnoMi-client_36_137.mp4 That I-I wouldn't be feeling well enough, but surprisingly enough, um, I was in good form, and I think it was about three weeks in the summer, getting ready for it- neutral talk_type +963 AnnoMi-client_36_139.mp4 - and the whole hoo-ha of the wedding. neutral talk_type +964 AnnoMi-client_36_141.mp4 But I was in good- in really good form for that. Yeah. neutral talk_type +965 AnnoMi-client_36_143.mp4 That was a good time. neutral talk_type +966 AnnoMi-client_36_145.mp4 I hardly noticed them. neutral talk_type +967 AnnoMi-client_36_147.mp4 Yeah, it, uh, it seemed to, uh, clear up. neutral talk_type +968 AnnoMi-client_36_149.mp4 Which was good. neutral talk_type +969 AnnoMi-client_36_151.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +970 AnnoMi-client_36_153.mp4 Um, well, it's- I'm-I'm having a bit of a bad patch at the moment. neutral talk_type +971 AnnoMi-client_36_155.mp4 It's particularly, um, uncomfortable. Um, I have to say I do notice it when my husband's away. He- neutral talk_type +972 AnnoMi-client_36_157.mp4 - he travels with his job, and he- neutral talk_type +973 AnnoMi-client_36_159.mp4 - can be away a couple of times a month. neutral talk_type +974 AnnoMi-client_36_161.mp4 Um, and that's not-- It-it's very often not good then, I have to say. neutral talk_type +975 AnnoMi-client_36_163.mp4 Mm. Maybe I'm thinking about it a bit more, I don't know, when he's not there. neutral talk_type +976 AnnoMi-client_36_165.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +977 AnnoMi-client_36_167.mp4 Well, he's-he thinks it's all in my head. neutral talk_type +978 AnnoMi-client_36_169.mp4 You know, he's- he says it's stress. neutral talk_type +979 AnnoMi-client_36_171.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +980 AnnoMi-client_36_173.mp4 Well, I mean, it can't all be in my head. I get too much physical pain- neutral talk_type +981 AnnoMi-client_36_175.mp4 - for it to be in my head. I mean, it's real. It's-it's real pain. neutral talk_type +982 AnnoMi-client_36_177.mp4 Um— neutral talk_type +983 AnnoMi-client_36_179.mp4 Well, I mean, I-I did think that perhaps it was an infection that hadn't cleared up- neutral talk_type +984 AnnoMi-client_36_181.mp4 - in the early stages, but, um, I think, um, I-I mean, sometimes I think it's IBS. A friend of mines has got that and it sounds similar, and then- neutral talk_type +985 AnnoMi-client_36_183.mp4 "- other times I'll think, ""I wonder if it's an ulcer."" " neutral talk_type +986 AnnoMi-client_36_185.mp4 Um, on a really bad day, I start to think it might be cancer. neutral talk_type +987 AnnoMi-client_36_187.mp4 Um, my mother-in-law- my mother-in-law died of cancer last year and she had a, um, a growth that- neutral talk_type +988 AnnoMi-client_36_189.mp4 - the-the doctor didn't investigate. neutral talk_type +989 AnnoMi-client_36_191.mp4 But by the time they'd found it, it was the size of a football- neutral talk_type +990 AnnoMi-client_36_193.mp4 - and it was- it was too late to operate then. neutral talk_type +991 AnnoMi-client_36_195.mp4 So, you know, when I go to bed at night now, um, I just feel to make sure there's nothing different going on. neutral talk_type +992 AnnoMi-client_36_197.mp4 And, uh, yeah, I worry about that. neutral talk_type +993 AnnoMi-client_36_199.mp4 Oh, yes. neutral talk_type +994 AnnoMi-client_36_201.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +995 AnnoMi-client_36_203.mp4 I just want to make sure there's nothing changing down there, you know? neutral talk_type +996 AnnoMi-client_36_205.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +997 AnnoMi-client_36_207.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +998 AnnoMi-client_36_209.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +999 AnnoMi-client_36_211.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1000 AnnoMi-client_36_213.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1001 AnnoMi-client_36_215.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1002 AnnoMi-client_36_217.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1003 AnnoMi-client_36_219.mp4 Yes. Yeah. neutral talk_type +1004 AnnoMi-client_36_221.mp4 I'd say so. neutral talk_type +1005 AnnoMi-client_36_223.mp4 Well, I thought, you know, you're a new doctor here- neutral talk_type +1006 AnnoMi-client_36_225.mp4 - and you've just finished your medical training. I wondered whether, you know, with new eyes and a new way of looking at-at the problem- neutral talk_type +1007 AnnoMi-client_36_227.mp4 - um, you-you probably know about different tests, new tests, that my doctor doesn't know about, you know, new developments. neutral talk_type +1008 AnnoMi-client_36_229.mp4 So perhaps you could send me for some different tests. neutral talk_type +1009 AnnoMi-client_36_231.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1010 AnnoMi-client_36_233.mp4 Well, I think there's-there's got to be something that a test might- neutral talk_type +1011 AnnoMi-client_36_235.mp4 - might reveal. neutral talk_type +1012 AnnoMi-client_36_237.mp4 So-so like, do you think it's all in my head then? You're gonna be like Dr. Brown. You think I'm imagining all of this? neutral talk_type +1013 AnnoMi-client_36_239.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1014 AnnoMi-client_36_241.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1015 AnnoMi-client_36_243.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1016 AnnoMi-client_36_245.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1017 AnnoMi-client_36_247.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1018 AnnoMi-client_36_249.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1019 AnnoMi-client_36_251.mp4 Well, I can't see that my mind can be causing this amount of pain. sustain talk_type +1020 AnnoMi-client_36_253.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +1021 AnnoMi-client_36_255.mp4 What-what sort of approach? neutral talk_type +1022 AnnoMi-client_36_257.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1023 AnnoMi-client_36_259.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +1024 AnnoMi-client_36_261.mp4 Well, I just can't do them. neutral talk_type +1025 AnnoMi-client_36_263.mp4 I can't- I can't do them anymore. neutral talk_type +1026 AnnoMi-client_36_265.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1027 AnnoMi-client_36_267.mp4 Oh, I don't know. neutral talk_type +1028 AnnoMi-client_36_269.mp4 I don't know. neutral talk_type +1029 AnnoMi-client_36_271.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1030 AnnoMi-client_36_273.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1031 AnnoMi-client_36_275.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1032 AnnoMi-client_36_277.mp4 Hmm. Yeah. neutral talk_type +1033 AnnoMi-client_36_279.mp4 Well, two or three months is a long time if there is something going on. I mean, that's what happened to my mother-in-law, you know. sustain talk_type +1034 AnnoMi-client_36_281.mp4 They-they left her and- sustain talk_type +1035 AnnoMi-client_36_283.mp4 - didn't spot it and— sustain talk_type +1036 AnnoMi-client_36_285.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1037 AnnoMi-client_36_287.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1038 AnnoMi-client_36_289.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1039 AnnoMi-client_36_291.mp4 So, uh, what are you saying then? That I should come back and see you? change talk_type +1040 AnnoMi-client_36_293.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1041 AnnoMi-client_36_295.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1042 AnnoMi-client_36_297.mp4 Okay. Well, uh, to make an appointment for next week. change talk_type +1043 AnnoMi-client_36_299.mp4 And come and see you again- change talk_type +1044 AnnoMi-client_36_301.mp4 - and talk about it a bit more? change talk_type +1045 AnnoMi-client_36_303.mp4 Okay. change talk_type +1046 AnnoMi-client_36_305.mp4 All right. And I'll make a list of the tablets that I'm taking. change talk_type +1047 AnnoMi-client_36_307.mp4 I won't bring all the bottles down. change talk_type +1048 AnnoMi-client_36_309.mp4 Okay. All right. I'll do that. change talk_type +1049 AnnoMi-client_36_311.mp4 I'll make an appointment for next week. Yes. change talk_type +1050 AnnoMi-client_36_313.mp4 Okay. Thank you. neutral talk_type +1051 AnnoMi-client_37_1.mp4 Kia ora. neutral talk_type +1052 AnnoMi-client_37_3.mp4 Yeah, yeah fine. neutral talk_type +1053 AnnoMi-client_37_5.mp4 Actually, it's been pretty good. I, um, I talked to my mom, which, uh- neutral talk_type +1054 AnnoMi-client_37_7.mp4 -which is a big deal. And, uh, she was excellent. Um, I knew she would be. Um, and, uh, I've made an appointment for the, uh, for Stopping Violence and [unintelligible 00:16:15] change talk_type +1055 AnnoMi-client_37_9.mp4 Um, I've cut down on the drink. I haven't stopped drinking, but, uh-- Yeah, so, uh, it's okay. change talk_type +1056 AnnoMi-client_37_11.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1057 AnnoMi-client_37_13.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1058 AnnoMi-client_37_15.mp4 Uh, I didn't speak to my brothers and sisters this time, I just spoke to my mom, but, uh, she, uh, she suggested that I go and stay with my, uh, auntie and my uncle. Uh— neutral talk_type +1059 AnnoMi-client_37_17.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1060 AnnoMi-client_37_19.mp4 I'm not sure. neutral talk_type +1061 AnnoMi-client_37_21.mp4 I'm not sure, I'm thinking about it. neutral talk_type +1062 AnnoMi-client_37_23.mp4 Well, I'm not sure if I want to live with my auntie and uncle. [chuckles] Um, I think, yeah, I'll probably need to. I think probably living with, uh, with my mate in his flat is probably not that helpful. change talk_type +1063 AnnoMi-client_37_25.mp4 It was terrible. It was really hard. Uh, I think probably the hardest person to talk to about it, my mom. My, um, my old man, um-- Yeah, it was hard. change talk_type +1064 AnnoMi-client_37_27.mp4 I try. neutral talk_type +1065 AnnoMi-client_37_29.mp4 Well, I hope it tells you that, um, that I'm a good bloke. That I'm a good dad. That I really- that I'm really serious. I am really serious. change talk_type +1066 AnnoMi-client_37_31.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1067 AnnoMi-client_37_33.mp4 Uh, yeah, I talked to her about it. We talked a little bit. Um, and she's not completely convinced. neutral talk_type +1068 AnnoMi-client_37_35.mp4 Um, but we'll see how it goes. change talk_type +1069 AnnoMi-client_37_37.mp4 I need to, um, I need to see all these things that I've started to put into action, I need to see them through to the end. change talk_type +1070 AnnoMi-client_37_39.mp4 Well. I need to- I need to, uh, to show her that she can trust me. That I'm serious about it. change talk_type +1071 AnnoMi-client_38_1.mp4 Yeah, um, last week I met with my nurse practitioner, and I ge-I guess she's worried with how much I'm smoking and drinking right now. I mean, I-I did agree I would work on the smoking and try to cut back on that. But, as far as the drinking, I-I don't really think I drink that much. sustain talk_type +1072 AnnoMi-client_38_3.mp4 Right, I mean, I don't drink that much and, honestly, it-it's just a good way to relax. sustain talk_type +1073 AnnoMi-client_38_5.mp4 Yeah, exactly. You know, it's kind of like that me time at the end of the day. sustain talk_type +1074 AnnoMi-client_38_7.mp4 Yeah. You know, I have a two-year-old son, and then, I work full-time. And, I also started going back to school. So, you know, just trying to juggle all that stuff. You know, it's tiring, and so, you know, at the end of the day, I just- I wanna relax and enjoy myself. sustain talk_type +1075 AnnoMi-client_38_9.mp4 Yeah, and for work, you know, I'm a server. So, I'm on my feet all day, you know, and it's-it's really tiring. neutral talk_type +1076 AnnoMi-client_38_11.mp4 Yeah, you know, it's hard trying to please customers all day. And then, at the same time, I'm-I'm worrying, am I making enough money to support my son, you know? neutral talk_type +1077 AnnoMi-client_38_13.mp4 Yeah, and then, you know, with going back to school, you know, I have to figure out how I'm going to pay for everything. So, you know, i-it's just a lot right now. neutral talk_type +1078 AnnoMi-client_38_15.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1079 AnnoMi-client_38_17.mp4 Well, that's the thing. I-I don't really understand what raised concern. I mean, I don't drink that much, you know. I've-I've gone up to maybe two drinks a day max, you know. sustain talk_type +1080 AnnoMi-client_38_19.mp4 Not much. neutral talk_type +1081 AnnoMi-client_38_21.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +1082 AnnoMi-client_38_23.mp4 I don't know, i-it just surprises me because, I mean, two drinks a day, that-that doesn't seem like a problem or risky, you know. And, I have family members who drink a lot more than that per day, and, it's not a problem for them. So, i-it just surprises me. sustain talk_type +1083 AnnoMi-client_38_25.mp4 No. And then, I don't know, I-I'm just getting kind of annoyed, honestly, because, you know, I did agree I would try to work on my smoking, you know. But, with this whole drinking thing, it's like everything that I enjoy, you know, is being taken away from me right now. And so, if I give up drinking, like, what am I going to have to enjoy myself, you know. sustain talk_type +1084 AnnoMi-client_38_27.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +1085 AnnoMi-client_38_29.mp4 Yeah, I mean, I guess it has. Probably just with being so stressed out every day, you know. I mean, I'm in my second semester of school right now, and so, adding that to everything, uh, it's a lot. And, you know, I'm trying to figure out child carry. Um, normally, my mom will watch my son, but, lately, she can't always. And so, I'm always kind of worrying like, will she be able to, you know. So, i-it's just stressful. neutral talk_type +1086 AnnoMi-client_38_31.mp4 Yeah, I-I guess that's right. neutral talk_type +1087 AnnoMi-client_38_33.mp4 Uh-huh. neutral talk_type +1088 AnnoMi-client_38_35.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1089 AnnoMi-client_38_37.mp4 No. I guess, you know, the one- the one thing I can think of is, I mean, there will be evenings when I just kind of want to get my son to bed a little earlier, just so that I can have that alone time to unwind, you know, maybe-maybe smoke, have a couple drinks. Um, but, I do feel guilty about that sometimes, because, I should enjoy spending time with my son, but, instead, you know, I'm just wanting to be by myself and relax, you know. So— change talk_type +1090 AnnoMi-client_38_39.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1091 AnnoMi-client_38_41.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1092 AnnoMi-client_38_43.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +1093 AnnoMi-client_38_45.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1094 AnnoMi-client_38_47.mp4 No. And, i-it's just, it's really hard to take in right now. I mean, yeah. I-I've never thought about it like this. And, so, you know, I-I do feel kind of worried. change talk_type +1095 AnnoMi-client_38_49.mp4 Yeah. I mean, i-it's part of my routine right now, and, you know, I-I don't want to sacrifice something I enjoy, but, you know, I'm trying really hard, you know, to be a good mom. I'm-I'm trying to, you know, go-go back to school. I'm trying to work. So, I don't know how I can do all of that if I don't have a way to enjoy myself or relax, you know? neutral talk_type +1096 AnnoMi-client_38_51.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1097 AnnoMi-client_38_53.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1098 AnnoMi-client_38_55.mp4 Well, you know, if there was some way that I could relieve some of my stress, I think I would feel better, and, you know, maybe at night, I wouldn't feel like I had to unwind in the same way. change talk_type +1099 AnnoMi-client_38_57.mp4 Um, you know, probably my biggest problem is just childcare. You know, my mom normally watches my son, but she's been kind of backing out lately. And so, I'm worrying, am I going to have to call into work today, am-am I going to have to miss class? You know, so, you know, worrying about that really stresses me out, you know. neutral talk_type +1100 AnnoMi-client_38_59.mp4 Yeah, definitely. neutral talk_type +1101 AnnoMi-client_38_61.mp4 Yeah. I mean, she watches him so much. I think she's just probably getting stressed out too. And, I feel bad because, you know, it's not her son, so i-it shouldn't be her problem, but, I need something that I can rely on better. neutral talk_type +1102 AnnoMi-client_38_63.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1103 AnnoMi-client_38_65.mp4 Well, I mean, most of my problems always go back to money. You know, i-if I had more money, I could afford daycare, I could work less hours, you know? So, yeah. It's-it's normally related to money. neutral talk_type +1104 AnnoMi-client_38_68.mp4 Yeah. I mean, I'm ready to consider changing my drinking, but, as far as actually doing it, I-I don't know. I mean, I have a lot of problems that I'm trying to work out right now. change talk_type +1105 AnnoMi-client_38_70.mp4 Childcare, probably. neutral talk_type +1106 AnnoMi-client_38_72.mp4 Not really. I mean, I just normally see if my mom can watch my son, so, you know, I haven't really looked around. neutral talk_type +1107 AnnoMi-client_38_74.mp4 Yeah, definitely. neutral talk_type +1108 AnnoMi-client_38_76.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1109 AnnoMi-client_38_78.mp4 Yeah, I-I think I would. I mean, it's-it's been nice to just talk about everything that's going on. neutral talk_type +1110 AnnoMi-client_38_80.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1111 AnnoMi-client_38_82.mp4 Mm-mm neutral talk_type +1112 AnnoMi-client_38_84.mp4 Well, I mean, I could at least try to going back to one drink a night instead of two. change talk_type +1113 AnnoMi-client_38_86.mp4 Yeah. I mean, I-I don't know how it's going to go, especially with trying to cut back on smoking already, but, I mean, I can try. change talk_type +1114 AnnoMi-client_38_88.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1115 AnnoMi-client_38_90.mp4 I don't think so. neutral talk_type +1116 AnnoMi-client_38_92.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1117 AnnoMi-client_38_94.mp4 Okay. Thanks. neutral talk_type +1118 AnnoMi-client_39_1.mp4 Every time I go-- Excuse me. -to any doctor, you know, you need to quit smoking and— neutral talk_type +1119 AnnoMi-client_39_3.mp4 Uh-huh and I kind of go, let's move on, you know because I've heard the lecture. Um, and I really don't put much credence into what they say. I did have- I did have a neighbor who was smoked for many, many years and, um, she had the Oxygen-- Oxygen tank that she would have to sleep at night with the oxygen on and even that didn't deter me from that smoking. I don't really know. It's like, um, a power greater than myself. This is controlling me like this, you know, the angels on this side, the devil's on the other. sustain talk_type +1120 AnnoMi-client_39_5.mp4 Mm-hmm, yeah. And common sense somewhere in the middle. change talk_type +1121 AnnoMi-client_39_7.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1122 AnnoMi-client_39_9.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1123 AnnoMi-client_39_11.mp4 Well, you know, I was thinking along the lines of meditation. Um, you know, I- I do practice yoga, um, not consistently, but on and off. Um, and when I was in the hospital, I had to do that breathing apparatus and they didn't want to let me go now, like, you know- you know what, I'm not doing that it's already blurry then to this thing, to see the level, um, some pretty obstinate about it and yet I want to do it, you know? change talk_type +1124 AnnoMi-client_39_13.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1125 AnnoMi-client_39_15.mp4 Right. Which I barely have any. neutral talk_type +1126 AnnoMi-client_39_17.mp4 Right- right. neutral talk_type +1127 AnnoMi-client_39_19.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1128 AnnoMi-client_39_21.mp4 Oh, I already have one. neutral talk_type +1129 AnnoMi-client_39_23.mp4 Yeah, [laughs]. neutral talk_type +1130 AnnoMi-client_39_25.mp4 It came home with me. neutral talk_type +1131 AnnoMi-client_39_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1132 AnnoMi-client_39_29.mp4 It's stuff that I learnt in class. neutral talk_type +1133 AnnoMi-client_39_31.mp4 That'd be great, yeah, please. neutral talk_type +1134 AnnoMi-client_39_33.mp4 That's- that's something I'd be really interested in. change talk_type +1135 AnnoMi-client_39_35.mp4 Yeah. I mean, I- I, um, I've always liked therapy itself, and I- I've heard, I don't know if it's accurate, but if you have the willingness that is you're ease- more easily hypnotized, I don't know is it true? change talk_type +1136 AnnoMi-client_39_37.mp4 Well, I mean exercise, but really, you know, I have the mindset, you know, like, okay, tomorrow I'm going to get up and I'm going to do this, but I really am not a follow-through type of person with this. neutral talk_type +1137 AnnoMi-client_39_39.mp4 Because you know I've never been really athletic. I mean, so it's kind of like, I know that when you substitute something for something else, other than chocolate, which is my best friend too, [laughs]. change talk_type +1138 AnnoMi-client_39_41.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1139 AnnoMi-client_39_43.mp4 You know, I've heard of Welbutrin. neutral talk_type +1140 AnnoMi-client_39_45.mp4 My girlfriend quit smoking. She quit drinking. She quit doing everything with this Wellbutrin. Now I- I- I am on some medications, like some, like I think that's an antidepressant. neutral talk_type +1141 AnnoMi-client_39_47.mp4 Okay. Um, I'd be open to that and then I'm not sure-- I'm not familiar with the other thing that you had suggested. Um, I don't know what that is. change talk_type +1142 AnnoMi-client_39_50.mp4 Um, you know I'd be-- I've heard a little bit about them, but I mean I do know some people, but they're not exactly reliable, um, as far as you know really having a desire and sticking to it that they smoke on the patch and-and then it causes this you know extreme, you know? Like you're getting double the nicotine or whatever so it's almost like they're getting a buzz from it you know so that's my fear and the cost of the patch because it's not covered you know through your, um, your- your insurance and the Nicorette same thing it's very expensive you know. And I'm not really a gum sure but here I am because— sustain talk_type +1143 AnnoMi-client_39_52.mp4 [laughs] but I mean I'd be interested I wish they'd make it more affordable for people or you know they haven't covered by insurance because you know the risk of it you know that the premiums for insurance- insurance for people who smoke are so high you would think that they would have like, um, what do they call that? Preventive. Um, I wish I never would have started and I'm proud of my daughter you know because I started smoking a little bit earlier than her age, and I'm proud that she is at this point not smoking this manifestation she might pick it up but it's- it's like- change talk_type +1144 AnnoMi-client_39_54.mp4 Yeah-yeah, maybe I'm the best example of why she doesn't want to [laughs] you know change talk_type +1145 AnnoMi-client_39_56.mp4 Whatever you know and her friends. I think a lot of her friend's parents don't smoke and I'm constantly running like outside to smoke and-and- change talk_type +1146 AnnoMi-client_39_58.mp4 It is. It really is. It's a monkey on my back change talk_type +1147 AnnoMi-client_39_60.mp4 And um for me smoking is like a calming effect, you know. And some people it's a stimulant you know and then for me, it's like, I look forward to relaxing on my couch after a long day and then watching my you know news or whatever the heck I'm watching or reading and having my cigarette, um, I'll tell you- sustain talk_type +1148 AnnoMi-client_39_62.mp4 Right. Exactly or you know like I'll do some work, and then I'm like okay you know as my ex-husband says Union break and it's a cigarette break. [laughs] sustain talk_type +1149 AnnoMi-client_39_64.mp4 Yeah. Absolutely it's not my quote but he actually he would mind. neutral talk_type +1150 AnnoMi-client_39_66.mp4 Yeah neutral talk_type +1151 AnnoMi-client_39_68.mp4 Yeah, you know how those union workers have to have you know, Union break. neutral talk_type +1152 AnnoMi-client_39_70.mp4 Yeah, financially too, which is [inaudible 00:09:27] change talk_type +1153 AnnoMi-client_39_72.mp4 Well, uh neutral talk_type +1154 AnnoMi-client_40_0.mp4 Pretty good. It's been three months now. neutral talk_type +1155 AnnoMi-client_40_2.mp4 Um, and— neutral talk_type +1156 AnnoMi-client_40_6.mp4 Right. It's been three months, and I've been doing pretty well. change talk_type +1157 AnnoMi-client_40_8.mp4 Um, and I met a couple new friends. neutral talk_type +1158 AnnoMi-client_40_10.mp4 So— neutral talk_type +1159 AnnoMi-client_40_12.mp4 Right. change talk_type +1160 AnnoMi-client_40_14.mp4 Right. It's been good. I haven't answered the phone when he's called- change talk_type +1161 AnnoMi-client_40_16.mp4 -and a couple of my other friends have tried to call me as well, and I haven't answered the phone. Um, so it's been good for me to just reach out and like, meet a couple of new people, um, in the neigh-neighborhood that I'm living in. change talk_type +1162 AnnoMi-client_40_18.mp4 Yeah, the new friends, and I've been using the, you know, the breathing exercises you taught me, when I get-- start to feel a little stressed out, and I've been- I've been using those and it helps me. I go for a walk and do my breathing exercises, and it calms me down and kind of gets me through that time. change talk_type +1163 AnnoMi-client_41_1.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1164 AnnoMi-client_41_3.mp4 I feel great actually. neutral talk_type +1165 AnnoMi-client_41_5.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1166 AnnoMi-client_41_7.mp4 I feel good. neutral talk_type +1167 AnnoMi-client_41_9.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1168 AnnoMi-client_41_11.mp4 Yes. It was a good, uh, experience for me. It was different. It was different than usual. There were several things that were different, and, uh, the number one value that I put was self-respect. And I-I don't even know if self-respect has ever been in my top five let alone my number one. change talk_type +1169 AnnoMi-client_41_13.mp4 Yeah. And, um— neutral talk_type +1170 AnnoMi-client_41_15.mp4 I do have an idea, I think, why that is. Um, I think that there's been a few things that have happened recently and something that really came to my awareness, when I visited with my family, is that I have consistently through my whole life, probably, put other people first. And I have consistently, uh, almost not even considered myself in the equation. It was, uh, kind of sad in a way, at the time that I realized it. Uh, I didn't realize how severe it actually was, but I was kind of glad that I realized it because I feel like it's never too late to change- change talk_type +1171 AnnoMi-client_41_17.mp4 -and I feel like I can- I can, uh, respect and value myself just as much as I have other people. I know that's important. And I feel like when I do that, I'm a better person for other people as well. change talk_type +1172 AnnoMi-client_41_19.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1173 AnnoMi-client_41_21.mp4 Because I get stressed, I get resentful, I get overwhelmed and, uh, out of- out of alignment, I guess, out of sorts. change talk_type +1174 AnnoMi-client_41_23.mp4 And I can't be the best- the best me possible. change talk_type +1175 AnnoMi-client_41_25.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +1176 AnnoMi-client_41_27.mp4 For myself or for someone else, either way, yeah. change talk_type +1177 AnnoMi-client_41_29.mp4 I-it's almost-- Like, I think that some people might not even think that I put that first, but in my mind and my emotions, I was carrying concern about what other people think, and I was letting that concern dictate my actions. Instead of letting my own values dictate my actions, I was letting what I thought other people wanted me to do to dictate my actions. change talk_type +1178 AnnoMi-client_41_31.mp4 And that's something that I had done for so long, literally since I was a child, that I didn't even know I was doing it. change talk_type +1179 AnnoMi-client_41_33.mp4 Yes, yes. change talk_type +1180 AnnoMi-client_41_35.mp4 Not aware at all. Completely unaware. Totally unaware, yeah. And so to me, I feel like it's a celebration. I used to, uh, moan and complain about my childhood and about all the things that I didn't get to have, and all the cruel, mean things that people said and did, and I felt-- I feel like I had this aha moment where I realized that I could be my own parent, and I could give myself the things that weren't given to me, now. I can give myself a voice. I can give myself an opinion. I can live like that, if I want to. Nobody's stopping me from it, only me. change talk_type +1181 AnnoMi-client_41_37.mp4 So, that's what I want to do. change talk_type +1182 AnnoMi-client_41_38.mp4 Mm-hmm.And it's the first time in my life I haven't felt guilty for saying that. change talk_type +1183 AnnoMi-client_41_40.mp4 I would say so, yeah. I don't know if I've ever said that in front of people and not felt the least twinge of guilt for it. [chuckles] change talk_type +1184 AnnoMi-client_41_42.mp4 No- neutral talk_type +1185 AnnoMi-client_41_44.mp4 -it's not, it's really not. change talk_type +1186 AnnoMi-client_41_46.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1187 AnnoMi-client_41_48.mp4 Well, it makes me feel jubilant. It makes me feel joyful. It makes me feel hopeful. It makes me feel like I count, like I matter. Uh, it makes me feel like I'm going to be able to do what I want to do with more joy and more passion, and less dread and a sense of responsibility, because one of the things that kind of happened along the way I really didn't notice, is that, um-- Like, let's say for example I like being a teacher or I like being a teacher or I like being a counselor to a certain degree but because of all the shoulds and all of the sense of responsibility and all of the caring about what people think, I started to lose joy doing things I actually enjoy doing. change talk_type +1188 AnnoMi-client_41_50.mp4 Yes, because it turned into an obligation instead of just really really a sense of like you know passion you know. My passion is gone completely. I don't know I'm just happy to, I feel like I got back in touch with myself. It's like I was like lost for a while and now I'm like back again, yes, now I remember why I wanted to do this or like why this is important to me because it is actually one of my values to be and help, but it just has to be, uh, balanced. change talk_type +1189 AnnoMi-client_41_52.mp4 No, but um, the other ones I have on there, uh are, number two, inner harmony. For the same reason, like I feel like I need to harmonious within myself before I can be harmonious with other people. change talk_type +1190 AnnoMi-client_41_54.mp4 Yes, and then I put family happiness. change talk_type +1191 AnnoMi-client_41_56.mp4 Yes, because I think that when I'm at peace with myself, uh, that automatically contributes to my family happiness. When I am unhappy with myself, I bring my unhappiness to my family. change talk_type +1192 AnnoMi-client_41_58.mp4 Uh, yeah, when I don't have self-respect and I am only giving my family a say on who I am and what I should do, I'm angry at them, I quarrel them. neutral talk_type +1193 AnnoMi-client_41_60.mp4 "I resent them, I really do, when I am in the mode. But when I just say, ""Hey, I'm a person of this family and I deserve this much time and energy and attention and just more than anybody else,"" I don't care, you do what I do I do what I do life goes on [chuckles]. " change talk_type +1194 AnnoMi-client_41_62.mp4 And then I have health and achievement, and to me, this one on achievement says a sense of accomplishment and to me that kind of goes along with what we were talking about earlier like I think I can show up and be a teacher and be a counselor in many different, uh, capacities. I could be your- I could be- I could be a teacher and I could be a really bad teacher. I could still be a teacher you know, I could show up an I could just do a really poor job and I could go home and I probably could keep my job for a while, it wouldn't be the first time right? neutral talk_type +1195 AnnoMi-client_41_64.mp4 But I don't feel good about that. change talk_type +1196 AnnoMi-client_41_66.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +1197 AnnoMi-client_41_68.mp4 Right, right. neutral talk_type +1198 AnnoMi-client_41_70.mp4 It's not enough for me to just show up and get my paycheck. That doesn't, I don't feel fulfilled so it-it, that's the way I see it going together with the helping. It's not just about helping to like look good or to exhaust myself or do what I think I should do but to really give something needy, something substantive, something real. change talk_type +1199 AnnoMi-client_41_72.mp4 Yeah, meaningful, even if it's-it's small. change talk_type +1200 AnnoMi-client_41_74.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1201 AnnoMi-client_41_76.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. change talk_type +1202 AnnoMi-client_41_78.mp4 Well, one of the things about this list that kind of surprised me is almost every time I have done this list, uh, creativity and freedom have been really high up there. And it didn't even make it to my top five. It was in my top 12. change talk_type +1203 AnnoMi-client_41_80.mp4 But I think the conclusion that I came to is that I can be more creative and have more freedom if I have inner peace and self-respect. Part of what- part of what binds me, part of what takes my freedom away is when I just explain all over the place and I don't give any attention to myself. Part of what steals my creativity is when I'm- my mind is reeling around in stress and I am not- I can't even hear myself. I can't even hear myself think. How can you be creative if you can't even hear yourself? neutral talk_type +1204 AnnoMi-client_41_82.mp4 Yeah, exactly, to me the creativity comes from the silence, comes from the quiet. It's literally-- I can just be in silence for even if for a few moments. It's amazing the ideas that come to me so quickly and so easily that would take me hours to figure out if I'm stressing. change talk_type +1205 AnnoMi-client_41_84.mp4 Thank you, thank you for listening. change talk_type +1206 AnnoMi-client_42_0.mp4 I don't know, I'm just having a lot of hard trouble trying to lose the rest of the weight. Um, right now, it's like no matter how much I try to exercise, run, or whatever, it doesn't matter like nothing else is coming off. neutral talk_type +1207 AnnoMi-client_42_2.mp4 No, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong because I keep trying the exercise but nothing's happening. change talk_type +1208 AnnoMi-client_42_4.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1209 AnnoMi-client_42_6.mp4 No, and even when I'm coming home, like, I'll go to the gym and then I'm noticing nothing is happening and I'll come home and I try to talk to my mama about it or even my father, and no one even cares about it. Like no one wants to support in it anyway. change talk_type +1210 AnnoMi-client_42_8.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1211 AnnoMi-client_42_10.mp4 No, and specifically my father, he just-- Not only does he not want to support me with it but at the same time, he feels like I need to be gaining my weight back. neutral talk_type +1212 AnnoMi-client_42_12.mp4 So I— neutral talk_type +1213 AnnoMi-client_42_14.mp4 It's as though by me losing weight, it's like I'm somehow disconnecting from my family, and he thinks that I'm trying to form myself to fit into like this perfect American picture and I just want to be healthy, I just want to have a good body and he doesn't think of it that way. neutral talk_type +1214 AnnoMi-client_43_1.mp4 Um, well, you know, I have a lot of anxiety, and so there's this test that I have to take. It's a big test and I've kind of been putting it off just 'cause I get very anxious. I don't trust in myself that I'm going to do good at it. Um, and so that's something that's like always on my mind, it's been on my mind for many years and it's like, I gotta just do it. Um, but I always stop myself from doing that because of the anxiety. And I just want to, I don't want to feel that way. change talk_type +1215 AnnoMi-client_43_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1216 AnnoMi-client_43_5.mp4 Exactly. So, I just avoid it and put it off. neutral talk_type +1217 AnnoMi-client_43_7.mp4 Um, maybe like a four or five. neutral talk_type +1218 AnnoMi-client_43_9.mp4 I mean, because I-I have it set up after like so many years, so I still have a ton of anxiety about it, but I think I'm like kind of making it, maybe that first step. And so that's why I would rate it as like a four or five because I'm making that first step, but it's still scary for me. change talk_type +1219 AnnoMi-client_43_11.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1220 AnnoMi-client_43_13.mp4 Yes. And I already kind of put it off after s-scheduling it too. So, um, now I'm actually enjoying that because I-I already like changed date and everything. So now it's actually coming. neutral talk_type +1221 AnnoMi-client_43_15.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1222 AnnoMi-client_43_17.mp4 Um, well I think it's this kind of long time coming. I just need to do it and then I can figure out, if I don't pass, I have to wait three more months to do it. And then I just study for the next three months. And if I do, then I can have that weight lifted off my shoulders cause it's been all a lot of weight on me and I think about it every single day. And I'm just sick of thinking about it. change talk_type +1223 AnnoMi-client_43_19.mp4 Yeah. But then I do worry, you know, that negative talk that, you know, when you have anxiety. So then I worry about if I don't pass it, you know, like people are going to ask me how I did and if I don't pass it I'm gonna have to tell them, it's embarrassing for me. Um, so that makes me really anxious. neutral talk_type +1224 AnnoMi-client_43_21.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1225 AnnoMi-client_43_23.mp4 Uh, I would say maybe like four or five years ago, um, I had to do a recording for work and I did not want to do it. I was trying to find every way that I can get out of during this recording. And, um, and then I played my recording and because of the way sometimes I carry myself, like not confident and very anxious, um, I think other people don't always believe in me. neutral talk_type +1226 AnnoMi-client_43_24.mp4 And so, um, when I played the recording, it actually ended up being one of the best recordings and like my supervisor and our national consultant, they were very like shocked about it because it because of just was the way I carried myself. So I thought, I don't really like compliments that makes me, um, anxious too again people compliment me, but it was a nice feeling because I really didn't trust in myself. And to know that I did a good job. neutral talk_type +1227 AnnoMi-client_43_26.mp4 Um, it made me feel good. neutral talk_type +1228 AnnoMi-client_43_28.mp4 Yeah, I did. neutral talk_type +1229 AnnoMi-client_43_30.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1230 AnnoMi-client_43_32.mp4 I mean, I think again, like all that anxiety, the same anxiety I had with that I have with those tests. And so, um, but that if I pass this test, if I could have that same feeling that I had, like when I did a good job like the-- you know, I mean, I would like to have that feeling again. change talk_type +1231 AnnoMi-client_43_34.mp4 You know. neutral talk_type +1232 AnnoMi-client_43_36.mp4 Right neutral talk_type +1233 AnnoMi-client_43_38.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1234 AnnoMi-client_43_40.mp4 Well, considering this test is coming on the way in a few days, um, I think, for me and just like practicing and just really seeing how I do and if I do well, then I think my confidence might go up a little bit. change talk_type +1235 AnnoMi-client_43_42.mp4 And maybe just having that faith in myself that, you know, that I can do it instead of just thinking that I can't. change talk_type +1236 AnnoMi-client_43_44.mp4 Yeah. Mm-hmm. change talk_type +1237 AnnoMi-client_43_46.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +1238 AnnoMi-client_43_48.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +1239 AnnoMi-client_45_1.mp4 Fine. Where do you want me to sign? neutral talk_type +1240 AnnoMi-client_45_3.mp4 Not really. neutral talk_type +1241 AnnoMi-client_45_5.mp4 Yeah, whatever. I just, yeah. neutral talk_type +1242 AnnoMi-client_45_7.mp4 It's just like the same thing every day like, I don't really know why. Like um, so I signed your paper, why are asking me all these questions? neutral talk_type +1243 AnnoMi-client_45_9.mp4 Yup. neutral talk_type +1244 AnnoMi-client_45_11.mp4 I guess so. neutral talk_type +1245 AnnoMi-client_45_13.mp4 So you just wanna know my business? neutral talk_type +1246 AnnoMi-client_45_15.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1247 AnnoMi-client_45_17.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1248 AnnoMi-client_45_19.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1249 AnnoMi-client_45_21.mp4 Yeah. I mean I guess I'll be here if I have to be but I can't make any promises that I won't leave. neutral talk_type +1250 AnnoMi-client_45_23.mp4 No, 'cause this just kinda feels like why do you need to know my business? Why do you care? neutral talk_type +1251 AnnoMi-client_45_25.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1252 AnnoMi-client_45_27.mp4 It's just like a lot. neutral talk_type +1253 AnnoMi-client_45_29.mp4 And you feel like there's all these rules. neutral talk_type +1254 AnnoMi-client_45_31.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1255 AnnoMi-client_45_33.mp4 Right, I think that's the only thing that I wish I had now. change talk_type +1256 AnnoMi-client_45_35.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1257 AnnoMi-client_45_37.mp4 I guess like your sign your papers. change talk_type +1258 AnnoMi-client_45_39.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1259 AnnoMi-client_45_41.mp4 Not do this again so that I don't ever have to be here and be stuck in my house and all of these people coming to visit me and know my business. change talk_type +1260 AnnoMi-client_45_43.mp4 Yup. neutral talk_type +1261 AnnoMi-client_45_45.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1262 AnnoMi-client_45_47.mp4 Not really. neutral talk_type +1263 AnnoMi-client_45_49.mp4 All right. neutral talk_type +1264 AnnoMi-client_45_51.mp4 Bye. neutral talk_type +1265 AnnoMi-client_46_1.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +1266 AnnoMi-client_46_3.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +1267 AnnoMi-client_46_5.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1268 AnnoMi-client_46_7.mp4 It's not a big deal. Sometimes with my friends, we'll drink a few beers and when we're hanging out or when we're at a party, and sometimes rum and cokes. sustain talk_type +1269 AnnoMi-client_46_9.mp4 Um, three or four, probably. I don't keep track. sustain talk_type +1270 AnnoMi-client_46_11.mp4 Um, probably about once or twice a month. neutral talk_type +1271 AnnoMi-client_46_13.mp4 Probably since last October. neutral talk_type +1272 AnnoMi-client_46_15.mp4 What do I like about it? neutral talk_type +1273 AnnoMi-client_46_17.mp4 Um, I don't know. It's just fun to drink with my friends, like when we're at a party at someone else's house, and we're drinking with other people that we don't know. It tastes good. sustain talk_type +1274 AnnoMi-client_46_19.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1275 AnnoMi-client_46_21.mp4 Um, I don't like when I get sick in the mornings 'cause of hangovers and- change talk_type +1276 AnnoMi-client_46_23.mp4 -when I start throwing up, that's not- I don't like that. change talk_type +1277 AnnoMi-client_46_25.mp4 No, but that happened to someone I know, though. neutral talk_type +1278 AnnoMi-client_46_27.mp4 Um, one time I missed first period of school 'cause I had a hangover and I was late getting up. change talk_type +1279 AnnoMi-client_46_29.mp4 Mm, mom got mad at me 'cause I wouldn't get out of bed and she said she knew I had a hangover. change talk_type +1280 AnnoMi-client_46_31.mp4 No, but I got grounded for two weeks after that. [chuckles] change talk_type +1281 AnnoMi-client_46_33.mp4 Yeah, but I only missed school once. sustain talk_type +1282 AnnoMi-client_46_35.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1283 AnnoMi-client_46_37.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1284 AnnoMi-client_46_39.mp4 Um, probably a five. neutral talk_type +1285 AnnoMi-client_46_41.mp4 Well, I guess I'm just tired of getting in trouble. change talk_type +1286 AnnoMi-client_46_43.mp4 Um, not drink. change talk_type +1287 AnnoMi-client_46_45.mp4 No, not really. sustain talk_type +1288 AnnoMi-client_46_47.mp4 I could probably do that. change talk_type +1289 AnnoMi-client_46_49.mp4 I don't know. neutral talk_type +1290 AnnoMi-client_46_51.mp4 Yeah, probably. change talk_type +1291 AnnoMi-client_46_53.mp4 Um, I could probably drink something else when my friends are drinking, like just coke. change talk_type +1292 AnnoMi-client_46_55.mp4 I can probably hang out with some of my friends who don't drink or inviting them to parties and having fun 'cause not everyone drinks at parties. change talk_type +1293 AnnoMi-client_46_57.mp4 Yeah. The-- My friends who don't drink would probably be happy that I'm not drinking either and yes, they'd support me. change talk_type +1294 AnnoMi-client_46_59.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1295 AnnoMi-client_47_1.mp4 Fine. neutral talk_type +1296 AnnoMi-client_47_3.mp4 It's not really any of your business. neutral talk_type +1297 AnnoMi-client_47_5.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1298 AnnoMi-client_47_7.mp4 Hmm. neutral talk_type +1299 AnnoMi-client_47_9.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1300 AnnoMi-client_47_11.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1301 AnnoMi-client_47_13.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1302 AnnoMi-client_48_0.mp4 You know that my friends were happy, um, that I'm like this cool person who moved from in the middle of nowhere, has a strange accent that- neutral talk_type +1303 AnnoMi-client_48_2.mp4 -they like all my stories, they are really receptive- neutral talk_type +1304 AnnoMi-client_48_4.mp4 -but they don't know that I have one diabetes story. neutral talk_type +1305 AnnoMi-client_48_6.mp4 That one I haven't shared yet. neutral talk_type +1306 AnnoMi-client_48_8.mp4 So, I guess I'll make it short to exactly the incident 'cause I know we can't avoid it now. Uh, yeah, well, that one what happened was I-I was invited to my first party in this crew- neutral talk_type +1307 AnnoMi-client_48_10.mp4 -which I was super excited about. neutral talk_type +1308 AnnoMi-client_48_12.mp4 But, it was an evening party and we all wore really nice dresses- neutral talk_type +1309 AnnoMi-client_48_14.mp4 -the short ones, the really huggy ones. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +1310 AnnoMi-client_48_16.mp4 So I actually decided, and I know this wasn't the smartest decision of mine, but I did not wear my insulin pump. change talk_type +1311 AnnoMi-client_48_18.mp4 Which was the reason why I didn't want quite to address 'cause I know better. I- change talk_type +1312 AnnoMi-client_48_20.mp4 Yes, I know, I know, I know. neutral talk_type +1313 AnnoMi-client_48_22.mp4 Like the learning is done but- change talk_type +1314 AnnoMi-client_48_24.mp4 -but yes I guess it's unavoidable that we address it. [laughter] neutral talk_type +1315 AnnoMi-client_48_26.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +1316 AnnoMi-client_49_1.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1317 AnnoMi-client_49_3.mp4 I suppose, my expectations are a wee bit clearer as to why I'm here. neutral talk_type +1318 AnnoMi-client_49_5.mp4 I guess, I'm-- It made me think about how much money I have been losing recently. So, yeah. I'm happier to be here. [chuckles] change talk_type +1319 AnnoMi-client_49_7.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1320 AnnoMi-client_49_9.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1321 AnnoMi-client_49_11.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1322 AnnoMi-client_49_13.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1323 AnnoMi-client_49_15.mp4 Yeah. I'm happy to explore it, so to speak. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +1324 AnnoMi-client_49_17.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1325 AnnoMi-client_49_19.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1326 AnnoMi-client_49_21.mp4 Hmm. I don't know, I probably lock off a wee bit. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +1327 AnnoMi-client_49_23.mp4 Yeah, um. I'm sure you've already noticed. [chuckles] Um, I don't know, probably fidget. neutral talk_type +1328 AnnoMi-client_49_25.mp4 That's why I am still a bit— neutral talk_type +1329 AnnoMi-client_49_27.mp4 [chuckles] neutral talk_type +1330 AnnoMi-client_49_29.mp4 When I'm feeling uncomfortable? neutral talk_type +1331 AnnoMi-client_49_31.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1332 AnnoMi-client_49_33.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1333 AnnoMi-client_49_35.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1334 AnnoMi-client_49_37.mp4 [sighs] I suppose it's really serious if I wanna get out of my-my-my debt. change talk_type +1335 AnnoMi-client_49_39.mp4 Credit comes out of my ears, and mom and dad aren't bailing me out anymore, so- change talk_type +1336 AnnoMi-client_49_41.mp4 -I suppose, I've gotta sort it out myself. change talk_type +1337 AnnoMi-client_49_43.mp4 About 80. [chuckles] change talk_type +1338 AnnoMi-client_49_45.mp4 I'm gonna say, I'm completely confident. change talk_type +1339 AnnoMi-client_49_47.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1340 AnnoMi-client_49_49.mp4 What, on my confidence to stop? [chuckles] neutral talk_type +1341 AnnoMi-client_49_51.mp4 It's hard when it's part of your lifestyle, you know? sustain talk_type +1342 AnnoMi-client_49_53.mp4 When I went with my girlfriends to the pub last night and I went and hit a bit of a flutter- sustain talk_type +1343 AnnoMi-client_49_55.mp4 -so, you know, I think I'm a bit weird if I just sit-sit at the bar on my own. [chuckles] sustain talk_type +1344 AnnoMi-client_49_57.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1345 AnnoMi-client_49_59.mp4 Oh, I had to stop halfway 'cause I'd ran out of money. [chuckles] sustain talk_type +1346 AnnoMi-client_49_61.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1347 AnnoMi-client_49_63.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1348 AnnoMi-client_49_65.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1349 AnnoMi-client_49_67.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1350 AnnoMi-client_49_69.mp4 I don't know, but I'd like to get back on track, but— change talk_type +1351 AnnoMi-client_49_71.mp4 Not really planning on spending my life in debt. [chuckles] change talk_type +1352 AnnoMi-client_49_73.mp4 I don't mind traveling, and, you know, I've got friends that are saving for the [unintelligible 00:18:27] and I'm 25 and working in retail, and got four credit cards- change talk_type +1353 AnnoMi-client_49_75.mp4 -so I won't be doing any traveling any time soon. change talk_type +1354 AnnoMi-client_49_77.mp4 Maybe I wanna have traveled and found the man of my dreams. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +1355 AnnoMi-client_49_79.mp4 I don't know. Kids maybe, but- neutral talk_type +1356 AnnoMi-client_49_81.mp4 -I'm not gonna- [sighs] I'm not gonna make a decent mom the way I am, at the moment, am I? So I probably need to get on track at some stage. [chuckles] I'll be pushing 30 and still in debt, at this rate. change talk_type +1357 AnnoMi-client_49_83.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1358 AnnoMi-client_49_85.mp4 [chuckles] neutral talk_type +1359 AnnoMi-client_49_87.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1360 AnnoMi-client_49_89.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1361 AnnoMi-client_49_91.mp4 Party girl at 30s is a bit sad, really, isn't it? [chuckles] change talk_type +1362 AnnoMi-client_49_93.mp4 I don't know. It's been fun up to now- sustain talk_type +1363 AnnoMi-client_49_95.mp4 -but I really do wanna travel, so. neutral talk_type +1364 AnnoMi-client_49_97.mp4 Um, Egypt, always been, yeah. neutral talk_type +1365 AnnoMi-client_49_99.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1366 AnnoMi-client_49_101.mp4 Oh, I just think it's just fascinating. neutral talk_type +1367 AnnoMi-client_49_103.mp4 Yeah. Just the, um, the outlook, and the culture and the history and- neutral talk_type +1368 AnnoMi-client_49_105.mp4 -somewhere I've always wanted to go. neutral talk_type +1369 AnnoMi-client_49_107.mp4 It's not the safest place at the moment, mind you, but [chuckles]. neutral talk_type +1370 AnnoMi-client_49_109.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1371 AnnoMi-client_49_111.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +1372 AnnoMi-client_49_113.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1373 AnnoMi-client_49_115.mp4 Oh, since I was young, early teens. neutral talk_type +1374 AnnoMi-client_49_117.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1375 AnnoMi-client_49_119.mp4 Yeah, well, I suppose with the amount of money I've spent over the last five years I probably could have gone to Egypt and back five times by now. [chuckles] change talk_type +1376 AnnoMi-client_49_121.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1377 AnnoMi-client_49_123.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1378 AnnoMi-client_49_125.mp4 I believe then to cut off some of my friendships. Um, 'cause since you see that's, you know, part of their lifestyle. change talk_type +1379 AnnoMi-client_49_127.mp4 Yeah. It will be a big change. neutral talk_type +1380 AnnoMi-client_49_129.mp4 Seems like a bit of an unrealistic dream. Um, and I'd like to take the first step but, uh, that's gonna be easy. change talk_type +1381 AnnoMi-client_49_131.mp4 Probably, um, [chuckles] cutting up the credit cards for a starter, and trying to restrain myself, and not to be led into temptation, I suppose, so. change talk_type +1382 AnnoMi-client_49_133.mp4 You know, if the pokies are at the pubs, just don't go to the pub. [chuckles] change talk_type +1383 AnnoMi-client_49_135.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1384 AnnoMi-client_49_137.mp4 Mm. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +1385 AnnoMi-client_49_139.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1386 AnnoMi-client_49_141.mp4 Um, I haven't managed it to-to this point, so [chuckles] I don't know. neutral talk_type +1387 AnnoMi-client_49_143.mp4 Um, I suppose I've just got to get tougher with myself. change talk_type +1388 AnnoMi-client_49_145.mp4 What? Cutting off some of my friendships? change talk_type +1389 AnnoMi-client_49_147.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1390 AnnoMi-client_49_149.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1391 AnnoMi-client_49_151.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1392 AnnoMi-client_49_153.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1393 AnnoMi-client_49_155.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1394 AnnoMi-client_49_157.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1395 AnnoMi-client_49_159.mp4 Mm. Yeah. neutral talk_type +1396 AnnoMi-client_49_161.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1397 AnnoMi-client_49_163.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1398 AnnoMi-client_49_165.mp4 Find the scissors. [laughs] change talk_type +1399 AnnoMi-client_49_167.mp4 Cut out the girls. change talk_type +1400 AnnoMi-client_49_169.mp4 Then, um, I don't know if the debts are still gonna be there or not but I-I've gotta find- neutral talk_type +1401 AnnoMi-client_49_171.mp4 -a way to pay them off and- change talk_type +1402 AnnoMi-client_49_173.mp4 -I don't know how I'm gonna do that. neutral talk_type +1403 AnnoMi-client_49_175.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1404 AnnoMi-client_49_177.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1405 AnnoMi-client_49_179.mp4 Mm-hmm, that will be good. neutral talk_type +1406 AnnoMi-client_49_181.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1407 AnnoMi-client_50_0.mp4 So, uh, I guess the issue is that, um, you know, my doctor seems to think that my-my blood pressure's a little high, but I really don't think that there's a problem. And you know, I eat really well. Um. And, you know, she suggested that, um, I watch my caffeine but really, caffeine is not a problem for me. sustain talk_type +1408 AnnoMi-client_50_2.mp4 Well, you know, sometimes it makes me a little jittery and, you know, I have to go to the bathroom more frequently than some of my co-workers, but-- And-and working, um, in the hospital, they don't really look so highly on-on going the bathroom frequently. But you know, it-it keeps me awake, it keeps me aware, it-it makes me more able to like, you know, do my job better. And so I really don't see that it's a-it's a real issue. sustain talk_type +1409 AnnoMi-client_50_4.mp4 Um, you know, and-and-- I mean, maybe my blood pressure is a little high, but— neutral talk_type +1410 AnnoMi-client_50_6.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1411 AnnoMi-client_50_8.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1412 AnnoMi-client_50_12.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, and sometimes, like I said, it does kind of make me a little jittery and, um, I don't know. I-I-I'm not- I'm not as happy and relaxed as I normally am. But you know, I-I really like it, and-and like I said, it makes me more aware of what's going on and-and I'm-- I-I feel like I'm much more observant. neutral talk_type +1413 AnnoMi-client_50_14.mp4 Yeah. I have about four cups a day. neutral talk_type +1414 AnnoMi-client_50_16.mp4 Yeah. I mean, I've-- I mean, it's the co-workers that-that work at night. Gosh, they bring in a carafe. neutral talk_type +1415 AnnoMi-client_50_18.mp4 And, uh, I-I can only imagine- neutral talk_type +1416 AnnoMi-client_50_20.mp4 -what-what their bodies are like. neutral talk_type +1417 AnnoMi-client_50_22.mp4 Reducing it, like-- what do you mean? neutral talk_type +1418 AnnoMi-client_50_24.mp4 Yeah, yeah but, I mean, how-how much are we talking? neutral talk_type +1419 AnnoMi-client_50_26.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1420 AnnoMi-client_50_28.mp4 You're probably-- you know, because I-I gotta have that morning cup, I really-- you know I really like waking up and-and that whole ritual. The, um-- you know, making the coffee and- sustain talk_type +1421 AnnoMi-client_50_30.mp4 -I just really like the flavors. sustain talk_type +1422 AnnoMi-client_50_32.mp4 So I-I definitely don't want to give that up, but— sustain talk_type +1423 AnnoMi-client_50_36.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1424 AnnoMi-client_50_38.mp4 And then, of course, you know, working a 12-hour shift, I-I really think that, you know, the afternoon to keep me going until the evening is-is a really good idea too. sustain talk_type +1425 AnnoMi-client_50_40.mp4 I could probably get up the mid-morning. change talk_type +1426 AnnoMi-client_50_42.mp4 Yeah, yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +1427 AnnoMi-client_50_44.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1428 AnnoMi-client_50_46.mp4 I think that does sound all right. change talk_type +1429 AnnoMi-client_50_48.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1430 AnnoMi-client_50_50.mp4 I think I could do that. change talk_type +1431 AnnoMi-client_51_1.mp4 Uh, well, I know the flu can be pretty bad, but I'm in pretty good health, so I don't really feel like I need it. Uh, it's kind of just more for old people, right? sustain talk_type +1432 AnnoMi-client_51_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1433 AnnoMi-client_51_5.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1434 AnnoMi-client_51_7.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1435 AnnoMi-client_51_9.mp4 Well, my grandparents probably wouldn't handle the flu very well- neutral talk_type +1436 AnnoMi-client_51_11.mp4 -and my co-worker is pregnant too. neutral talk_type +1437 AnnoMi-client_51_13.mp4 So-so, yeah, I guess, I should, uh, get it for their sake. change talk_type +1438 AnnoMi-client_51_15.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1439 AnnoMi-client_52_1.mp4 You're welcome. neutral talk_type +1440 AnnoMi-client_52_3.mp4 Well, a friend and I would snuck out one night to go to the park, and we got a couple of beers from his house, but the cop came by, and so we threw them in the bushes. He was originally gonna give us a curfew ticket but ended up not to. Luckily, he didn't see the beer. sustain talk_type +1441 AnnoMi-client_52_5.mp4 Yeah, it was. If my mom would have found out, she would've killed me. neutral talk_type +1442 AnnoMi-client_52_7.mp4 Well, I've only tried drinking once or twice. neutral talk_type +1443 AnnoMi-client_52_9.mp4 Yeah, that's right. neutral talk_type +1444 AnnoMi-client_52_11.mp4 Well, I'm not sure if this information is for me, since I've only been drinking once or twice. sustain talk_type +1445 AnnoMi-client_52_13.mp4 Well, all I really know is that it's not good for you. change talk_type +1446 AnnoMi-client_52_15.mp4 Yeah, and a couple of my friends drink too. sustain talk_type +1447 AnnoMi-client_52_17.mp4 I really didn't think about how this would affect me playing sports. change talk_type +1448 AnnoMi-client_52_19.mp4 Yeah, I would like to play soccer in college. neutral talk_type +1449 AnnoMi-client_52_21.mp4 Yeah, I would also like to get scholarships. neutral talk_type +1450 AnnoMi-client_52_23.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1451 AnnoMi-client_52_25.mp4 Well, I will take a look at it, and I'll definitely read it, and I don't wanna become addicted, and I would like to continue to play sports as long as possible. change talk_type +1452 AnnoMi-client_52_27.mp4 Thanks for all the information. neutral talk_type +1453 AnnoMi-client_54_1.mp4 Hi. neutral talk_type +1454 AnnoMi-client_54_3.mp4 I do. change talk_type +1455 AnnoMi-client_54_5.mp4 Well, I just can't seem to get back in the gym. I don't wanna-- I-I used to work out quite a bit, and in the last, I dunno, couple of years I've just-- I stopped going. I got busy, and now I'm out of the habit, and I-I really, I dunno, I feel like I need to get back. change talk_type +1456 AnnoMi-client_54_7.mp4 Okay. Um. All right. Um— neutral talk_type +1457 AnnoMi-client_54_9.mp4 Uh, I belong to the-the Sport Fitness Center. neutral talk_type +1458 AnnoMi-client_54_11.mp4 Just a couple of miles. neutral talk_type +1459 AnnoMi-client_54_13.mp4 If I walked that far, I probably wouldn't even need to go to the gym, right? neutral talk_type +1460 AnnoMi-client_54_15.mp4 [inaudible 00:01:33] training. neutral talk_type +1461 AnnoMi-client_54_17.mp4 It-it-it would be important. change talk_type +1462 AnnoMi-client_54_19.mp4 Well, I-I-I-I would feel better. My-- I'd-I'd be able to wear more my clothes. I've been growing around the middle and I'd like to, uh, you know, go back to where I was, you know, get into a 34, 36 waist, you know. change talk_type +1463 AnnoMi-client_54_21.mp4 I-I'm more comfortable-- I feel better. I think that's the main thing. change talk_type +1464 AnnoMi-client_54_23.mp4 Yeah, yeah. It-it-it-- I-I am- I'm not getting any younger than I [unintelligible 00:02:18] change talk_type +1465 AnnoMi-client_54_25.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +1466 AnnoMi-client_54_27.mp4 I've gotta make time. change talk_type +1467 AnnoMi-client_54_29.mp4 I've gotta make time. change talk_type +1468 AnnoMi-client_54_31.mp4 Yeah. Okay. neutral talk_type +1469 AnnoMi-client_54_33.mp4 All right. neutral talk_type +1470 AnnoMi-client_54_35.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1471 AnnoMi-client_54_37.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1472 AnnoMi-client_54_39.mp4 Okay. Very good. Thanks. neutral talk_type +1473 AnnoMi-client_55_1.mp4 Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's fine. neutral talk_type +1474 AnnoMi-client_55_3.mp4 Uh, mostly in my left arm. neutral talk_type +1475 AnnoMi-client_55_5.mp4 Uh, no. That's okay. How's that? neutral talk_type +1476 AnnoMi-client_55_7.mp4 Uh, nope. It feels okay. neutral talk_type +1477 AnnoMi-client_55_9.mp4 Uh, yeah, that's fine. neutral talk_type +1478 AnnoMi-client_55_11.mp4 Uh, I don't know. Um, I use maybe a few times a week. neutral talk_type +1479 AnnoMi-client_55_13.mp4 Syringes? Uh, sometimes I'll buy them at Walgreens. Most times I'll just get them from the needle exchange. neutral talk_type +1480 AnnoMi-client_55_15.mp4 Uh, Northeast Glisan. neutral talk_type +1481 AnnoMi-client_55_17.mp4 Yeah, I use new needles every time, I never share. neutral talk_type +1482 AnnoMi-client_55_19.mp4 Yeah, that's right. neutral talk_type +1483 AnnoMi-client_55_21.mp4 Mm-hmm, yap. neutral talk_type +1484 AnnoMi-client_55_23.mp4 Uh, yeah. Yeah, if it's, uh, you know, if it's been a couple of days like I can go two days, three days tops before I start to feel really sick. neutral talk_type +1485 AnnoMi-client_55_25.mp4 Uh, geez. Yeah, I mean, it's the obvious stuff like my stomach feels sick, I get the body aches, uh, cold, hot, chills. Uh, everything hurts. Everything is in extremes. My emotions are in extremes. Uh, yeah, it sucks. I don't want to do anything. I just want to stay home and just stay in bed. neutral talk_type +1486 AnnoMi-client_55_27.mp4 Yeah, I mean, I start to use, I get loaded. sustain talk_type +1487 AnnoMi-client_55_29.mp4 Uh, you know, I get loaded and I-I can- I can function. I can go to work and, you know, do normal things, you know. Uh, I mean, there's been maybe just a couple of times where I wasn't feeling all that well, and I, uh, I was late a couple of times to work or it might overslept from the night before or whatever, but it's about it. Uh, I just want to avoid getting sick right now. That's my main priority. sustain talk_type +1488 AnnoMi-client_55_31.mp4 Um, well, you know, I like the way it feels. Um, you know what I mean? When I shoot up my anxiety, goes away, my depression goes away. Uh, things that usually make life really difficult, uh, get a lot easier. sustain talk_type +1489 AnnoMi-client_55_33.mp4 Uh, yeah. I mean, I think everybody who uses at least has some concern of overdosing on some level. Right? Uh, so that's something I'm concerned about is accidentally overdosing. And, uh, yeah, I mean, I don't want to get an infection in my arm, you know, just the usual things. I have a hard time hitting veins sometimes, and I gotta dig around a little bit and I would get worried about, you know, hitting something that I shouldn't or, you know, getting infections. change talk_type +1490 AnnoMi-client_55_35.mp4 Yeah, that's right. neutral talk_type +1491 AnnoMi-client_55_37.mp4 I don't know. neutral talk_type +1492 AnnoMi-client_55_39.mp4 Uh, are you talking about Narcan? Is that the same thing? neutral talk_type +1493 AnnoMi-client_55_41.mp4 Yeah, I got some of that already. I got it from the needle exchange. neutral talk_type +1494 AnnoMi-client_55_43.mp4 Uh, at home mostly. neutral talk_type +1495 AnnoMi-client_55_45.mp4 I mean, that's a concern, of course, right? Uh, I'm on the app just in case somebody nearby is OD-ing and I can get pinged. But no, mostly I just keep it in case I overdose, uh, and, uh, I'm realizing now I have it but I haven't told my roommate about it so— neutral talk_type +1496 AnnoMi-client_55_47.mp4 Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. neutral talk_type +1497 AnnoMi-client_55_49.mp4 I would really like a little bit of information on, uh, injecting in my arm. change talk_type +1498 AnnoMi-client_55_51.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1499 AnnoMi-client_55_53.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral talk_type +1500 AnnoMi-client_55_55.mp4 I'd probably say 10. change talk_type +1501 AnnoMi-client_55_57.mp4 Well, uh, I don't want to have an overdose and I don't want to get an infection. Seems like easy things to do. change talk_type +1502 AnnoMi-client_55_59.mp4 Um, well, I can talk to my housemate tomorrow night. I'm pretty sure that he doesn't work tomorrow night so he'll be around. change talk_type +1503 AnnoMi-client_55_61.mp4 Uh, if you could email me that right now, that'd be great. change talk_type +1504 AnnoMi-client_55_63.mp4 Uh, yeah, yeah. It's fine. Let's do that. neutral talk_type +1505 AnnoMi-client_56_1.mp4 Pretty good. neutral talk_type +1506 AnnoMi-client_56_3.mp4 Yeah. Um, I'm glad to be there. neutral talk_type +1507 AnnoMi-client_56_5.mp4 Uh, well, I'm glad to see my dog, he's very cute, and it just feels good to be home. neutral talk_type +1508 AnnoMi-client_56_7.mp4 Yeah. And my garden is coming along, and my neighbors have stuff-- It's-it's good. It's good to be home. neutral talk_type +1509 AnnoMi-client_56_9.mp4 Well, um. I-I didn't get- go to physical therapy this week, and the- or Tai Chi, actually. sustain talk_type +1510 AnnoMi-client_56_11.mp4 Yeah. Well, um. Actually, I-I had a little semi fall, I didn't fall down, I didn't fall down completely but I-I did-- I guess I still had the wobblies and I was hoping that the physical therapy and the Tai Chi would be- get me further along than it has, and I-I still don't have the balance. So, I'm thinking that maybe I was pushing too hard, that maybe I should cut back, you know, and kind of not try so hard to-to keep moving like that. sustain talk_type +1511 AnnoMi-client_56_13.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1512 AnnoMi-client_56_15.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1513 AnnoMi-client_56_17.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1514 AnnoMi-client_56_19.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +1515 AnnoMi-client_56_21.mp4 So I'm-I'm-I cut back, and I-I don't know if I should really even continue the Tai Chi because it's-it's very demanding. sustain talk_type +1516 AnnoMi-client_56_23.mp4 Uh, it's beautiful and-and- but, um, yeah. neutral talk_type +1517 AnnoMi-client_56_25.mp4 That I'll- that I'll fall again. sustain talk_type +1518 AnnoMi-client_56_27.mp4 I'll really fall and hurt myself, and this way, if I don't move around so much, there's less chance that I will. sustain talk_type +1519 AnnoMi-client_56_29.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +1520 AnnoMi-client_56_31.mp4 No, I didn't- it was just more scary, and it was like a-a signal that maybe I'm doing too much. sustain talk_type +1521 AnnoMi-client_56_33.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1522 AnnoMi-client_56_35.mp4 Well, yeah, if I- if I lose my balance and fall down, I could- anything, you know, really get hurt, and then-then I wouldn't be able to be home anymore, and that's not what I want. I want to stay home. So I want to do what I have to do to-to-to stay home. sustain talk_type +1523 AnnoMi-client_56_37.mp4 Yeah. [laughs] Yes, you've put it very well, hunker down- sustain talk_type +1524 AnnoMi-client_56_39.mp4 Watch the TV and pet my dog. I-I, you know, not to that extreme, but yeah, I think- I think maybe, um, yeah, I was-was going- pushing too hard. sustain talk_type +1525 AnnoMi-client_56_41.mp4 And I'm not sure about the Tai Chi anymore. I-I think the physical therapy, I can understand that, but I'm not so sure about the Tai Chi. sustain talk_type +1526 AnnoMi-client_56_43.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1527 AnnoMi-client_56_45.mp4 Right, right. neutral talk_type +1528 AnnoMi-client_56_47.mp4 She did. Sh-- Yeah, that's right, that's right. She said that they did studies and that they found that it was really preventative. I think she's- I forget the-the percentage, but yeah, she was really enthusiastic and she does it herself. neutral talk_type +1529 AnnoMi-client_56_49.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1530 AnnoMi-client_56_51.mp4 "That's a strong word, isn't it, ""betrayed"". Um, wow. A little, but-but I-I know, I know that it's true. I mean, my friend who does Tai Chi, she just- she loves it. Maybe it's just not for me, you know. " sustain talk_type +1531 AnnoMi-client_56_53.mp4 But, um- neutral talk_type +1532 AnnoMi-client_56_55.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1533 AnnoMi-client_56_57.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1534 AnnoMi-client_56_59.mp4 Absolutely, that- because I don't- now I'm-I'm feeling- neutral talk_type +1535 AnnoMi-client_56_61.mp4 -really a little frightened that what if- what if I fall down and-and-and nobody comes around and I'm lying there for two days, you know. I may have heard about that. sustain talk_type +1536 AnnoMi-client_56_63.mp4 So, um, 'cause I am alone. neutral talk_type +1537 AnnoMi-client_56_65.mp4 So— neutral talk_type +1538 AnnoMi-client_56_67.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1539 AnnoMi-client_56_69.mp4 Well, the-- I think that there's some things that could be done to-- I know people who live in-in residence, they have a cord they can pull, but how do they get to the cord? Um, is there any- anything else that I could do just to communicate if-if- neutral talk_type +1540 AnnoMi-client_56_71.mp4 -if something does happen? neutral talk_type +1541 AnnoMi-client_56_73.mp4 I think I saw something like that on TV. neutral talk_type +1542 AnnoMi-client_56_75.mp4 Is it- does it really work? neutral talk_type +1543 AnnoMi-client_56_77.mp4 'Cause you know that they sell so much stuff on TV, it's like you could- [crosstalk] neutral talk_type +1544 AnnoMi-client_56_79.mp4 It's crazy, it's crazy. neutral talk_type +1545 AnnoMi-client_56_81.mp4 Yeah. I guess so, feeling a little scared- neutral talk_type +1546 AnnoMi-client_56_83.mp4 -you know, about that happening and- neutral talk_type +1547 AnnoMi-client_56_85.mp4 So, yeah, it's probably a signal to-to make some-some changes. change talk_type +1548 AnnoMi-client_56_87.mp4 Like I don't wanna go back to the hospital, right? I really don't. Do I have to? change talk_type +1549 AnnoMi-client_56_89.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1550 AnnoMi-client_56_91.mp4 That I will definitely- I definitely wanna do that. change talk_type +1551 AnnoMi-client_56_93.mp4 I definitely wanna do that. change talk_type +1552 AnnoMi-client_56_95.mp4 Well, I- maybe they-they-- When I first came home, they had somebody come and show me some things in-in the house, but maybe a refresher of that, and they told me that I should exercise and-and, um, I guess I could-- Maybe support, maybe I'm looking for-for maybe a buddy or something, some way that I could be reminded. I'm feeling a little, you know, I was moving along and things were feeling more positive, it's sort of like two steps forward and- change talk_type +1553 AnnoMi-client_56_97.mp4 -one step back, but now it's to step forward and three steps back. [laughs] neutral talk_type +1554 AnnoMi-client_56_99.mp4 So, um, is there, yeah, like a support somehow? My daughter is very good and she calls me, but you know, she-she lives in Seattle, she lives- change talk_type +1555 AnnoMi-client_56_101.mp4 -far away. neutral talk_type +1556 AnnoMi-client_56_103.mp4 So- and I don't wanna impose on my neighbors or my friends. neutral talk_type +1557 AnnoMi-client_56_105.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1558 AnnoMi-client_56_107.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1559 AnnoMi-client_56_109.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1560 AnnoMi-client_56_111.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1561 AnnoMi-client_56_113.mp4 Yeah, that would be good. Do you think I should try to go back to the Tai Chi? change talk_type +1562 AnnoMi-client_56_115.mp4 Yes, great place. change talk_type +1563 AnnoMi-client_56_117.mp4 Yeah. I guess I've kind of gone to the extreme. I tend to do that. [chuckles] Yeah. So, keep moving? change talk_type +1564 AnnoMi-client_56_119.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1565 AnnoMi-client_56_121.mp4 Really? neutral talk_type +1566 AnnoMi-client_56_123.mp4 Oh, okay. neutral talk_type +1567 AnnoMi-client_56_125.mp4 Uh-huh. neutral talk_type +1568 AnnoMi-client_56_127.mp4 Okay. Okay. Okay. I-I'm willing to start again, so to speak. change talk_type +1569 AnnoMi-client_56_129.mp4 Yeah. It's scary. sustain talk_type +1570 AnnoMi-client_56_131.mp4 Well, I'm willing to work through my fears and difficulties to be in my little house with my little dog and my little garden. I've been there for- since my husband and I got married, and that's where we lived, and I don't want to give it up yet. change talk_type +1571 AnnoMi-client_56_133.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1572 AnnoMi-client_56_135.mp4 Yeah. I- neutral talk_type +1573 AnnoMi-client_56_137.mp4 -I-I am. And I feel like I have some help. change talk_type +1574 AnnoMi-client_56_139.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1575 AnnoMi-client_56_141.mp4 So, am I being a baby? neutral talk_type +1576 AnnoMi-client_56_143.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1577 AnnoMi-client_56_145.mp4 Really? neutral talk_type +1578 AnnoMi-client_56_147.mp4 Really? neutral talk_type +1579 AnnoMi-client_56_149.mp4 Thank you. Thank you. neutral talk_type +1580 AnnoMi-client_56_151.mp4 Well, and she- she's not going to throw me back into the hospital? neutral talk_type +1581 AnnoMi-client_56_153.mp4 Not yet? [laughs] Okay. Yeah. I was sort of- I-I was sort of hesitant to tell you- neutral talk_type +1582 AnnoMi-client_56_155.mp4 -about- neutral talk_type +1583 AnnoMi-client_56_157.mp4 -this, but, um, uh, I'm sort of glad I did. I'm very glad I did. neutral talk_type +1584 AnnoMi-client_56_159.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1585 AnnoMi-client_56_161.mp4 Yeah. So the-the caseworker is gonna be able to come and refresh- neutral talk_type +1586 AnnoMi-client_56_163.mp4 -me? neutral talk_type +1587 AnnoMi-client_56_165.mp4 And-and that's-- Yeah. neutral talk_type +1588 AnnoMi-client_56_167.mp4 I mean, that alone, to know that I have communication that I w- that was my biggest fear that something- neutral talk_type +1589 AnnoMi-client_56_169.mp4 -would happen and I wouldn't have any- neutral talk_type +1590 AnnoMi-client_56_171.mp4 -any way to tell anybody. neutral talk_type +1591 AnnoMi-client_56_173.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1592 AnnoMi-client_58_1.mp4 Hi. neutral talk_type +1593 AnnoMi-client_58_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1594 AnnoMi-client_58_5.mp4 Well, I'm, uh, I-I used to work out pretty good. I-I would go to the gym several times a week. I had kind of a schedule, um— neutral talk_type +1595 AnnoMi-client_58_7.mp4 Yeah, well, you know, it really-- At-at one time, I was running-- I ran a half marathon. I was really into it, and, uh--. neutral talk_type +1596 AnnoMi-client_58_9.mp4 Well, and I-- But I was working at a different company, where I had a little bit different schedule, a little more free time than I have now, so I just don't have the time like I used to. sustain talk_type +1597 AnnoMi-client_58_11.mp4 And I-- And really, it's kind of an excuse, I guess, cause I-I could probably make the time, but it's-it's easier to just keep working or- change talk_type +1598 AnnoMi-client_58_13.mp4 -just being in bed or whatever. neutral talk_type +1599 AnnoMi-client_58_15.mp4 I-it was. A-and it was huge for me cause I'd never really been a runner, you know, but it-it was very motivating, and-and— change talk_type +1600 AnnoMi-client_58_17.mp4 I don't know. I guess there's kind of an adrenaline rush to it. Kinda almost like, you know, uh, kind of a high, I guess. change talk_type +1601 AnnoMi-client_58_19.mp4 So yeah-- That's-- I-I really enjoyed it. And I-I liked the feeling that I was doing something good for myself. I liked that, too. I-it kind of-- It so-- It gave me a little bit of self-esteem, I guess. change talk_type +1602 AnnoMi-client_58_21.mp4 I-I subscribed to the magazine a while. neutral talk_type +1603 AnnoMi-client_58_23.mp4 I did. change talk_type +1604 AnnoMi-client_58_25.mp4 I let-- I lit it on fire but I- neutral talk_type +1605 AnnoMi-client_58_27.mp4 -I did burn for a time. neutral talk_type +1606 AnnoMi-client_58_29.mp4 I got into the whole culture. I was-- I-I felt as good as I’ve felt in many, many years. And now I’ve kind of let that all slide, and-- Well, I had a foot injury, too, which kind of started the whole problem. change talk_type +1607 AnnoMi-client_58_31.mp4 It-it is. And I-- it-it may be why I can’t really run again, but I can certainly, you know, ride a stationary bike- change talk_type +1608 AnnoMi-client_58_33.mp4 -and do all the other things in a gym that you can do when you’re not running, so, it just nakes you to [unintelligible 00:02:23] change talk_type +1609 AnnoMi-client_58_35.mp4 Um, well, um, I like-- The bike is pretty good. Uh, even the uh, you know, the kind of a rolling machine is okay. And the uh, the elliptical. Any of that’s fine. I-I really don’t, uh-- I don’t dislike any of it. Kind of once you get into the rhythm, yeah, it’s fine change talk_type +1610 AnnoMi-client_58_37.mp4 Probably the elliptical. change talk_type +1611 AnnoMi-client_58_39.mp4 Well, it is. change talk_type +1612 AnnoMi-client_58_41.mp4 It is without any of the impact, so it is true. change talk_type +1613 AnnoMi-client_58_43.mp4 Yeah, I do headphones. neutral talk_type +1614 AnnoMi-client_58_45.mp4 I got my headphones, and I got my, uh, kind of [unintelligible 00:03:24], if you know what I mean neutral talk_type +1615 AnnoMi-client_58_47.mp4 Yeah neutral talk_type +1616 AnnoMi-client_58_49.mp4 Yeah. I was going literally every other day, you know. And then, some days I would, you know, I’d run, and I’d go to the gym the next day, so I would-- I was very-- I don’t really feel it necessary to get back to that level, but I need to do something cause I’m doing nothing right now. change talk_type +1617 AnnoMi-client_58_51.mp4 I should-- Or next to nothing. I walk to the grocery store or whatever’s handy when I have time, but yeah. neutral talk_type +1618 AnnoMi-client_58_53.mp4 Well, if I could just get myself over there once, 'cause usually that’s the hardest thing. It’s just going there. So I think that's-- You know, I’ve thought about it a little bit, I think I just need to make that first trip over there and just kind of to take it easy that first time. Just show up 'cause I think that’s really what I need to do. I justt need to go over there. change talk_type +1619 AnnoMi-client_58_55.mp4 Um, knowing that my schedule isn’t gonna be too crazy that day where I could spare an hour or so, and-and just go do it. change talk_type +1620 AnnoMi-client_58_57.mp4 And then I-- [unintelligible 00:04:41] kinda nice [unintelligible 00:4:42] gonna be troublesome. neutral talk_type +1621 AnnoMi-client_58_59.mp4 Um, I don’t know. I think- I think the time has just been the biggest thing, you know, and-and I-I guess the motivation really hasn’t been there. I mean, you know, it’s not like- I don’t really have a goal. I don’t really have a, you know I don't, other than maybe reducing my waistline, you know, I don't really have a-a set number like I'm gonna run a marathon and you know. change talk_type +1622 AnnoMi-client_58_61.mp4 You know, so I think the just running off the playlist. I-I guess maybe if I made a goal would helped too. change talk_type +1623 AnnoMi-client_58_63.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1624 AnnoMi-client_58_65.mp4 Plus there's people who have done that countless times and you can go read what their- change talk_type +1625 AnnoMi-client_58_67.mp4 -regimen was so you get feedback too. And then [unintelligible 00:05:37] did this from this day and so on. change talk_type +1626 AnnoMi-client_58_69.mp4 Yeah. Maybe. change talk_type +1627 AnnoMi-client_58_71.mp4 That might not be be a bad idea. [inaudible 00:05:59] change talk_type +1628 AnnoMi-client_58_74.mp4 I think that'd be great. I-I never have really found anybody that like to exercise with the pace that I wanted to. They were all either going way too fast or not even moving at all. change talk_type +1629 AnnoMi-client_58_78.mp4 -might be a challenge. neutral talk_type +1630 AnnoMi-client_58_80.mp4 Yeah, that's right, well I- neutral talk_type +1631 AnnoMi-client_58_82.mp4 Okay, that's a great idea I hadn't thought of that-that's- I hadn't really, uh, I-I kinda dismissed that early on, I hadn't really even considered that, yeah. change talk_type +1632 AnnoMi-client_58_84.mp4 If I could get there-- I know if I could get there-- if I could pick, you know, uh, these are the days I'm going to go to the gym and I know these things last time. change talk_type +1633 AnnoMi-client_58_86.mp4 So if I- if I could-- I mean, I wanna get there three times a week. change talk_type +1634 AnnoMi-client_58_88.mp4 I wanna get there on Saturdays or Sundays and Tuesdays and Fridays, or something like that, then I could probably [unintelligible 00:07:34] change talk_type +1635 AnnoMi-client_58_90.mp4 Right, yeah. Well, it's just not- neutral talk_type +1636 AnnoMi-client_58_92.mp4 Oh yeah, yeah, it doesn't do any good to just try to injure your- injure yourself especially when you're a bit normal like me. neutral talk_type +1637 AnnoMi-client_58_94.mp4 You gotta get over there. neutral talk_type +1638 AnnoMi-client_58_96.mp4 Very good. neutral talk_type +1639 AnnoMi-client_58_98.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +1640 AnnoMi-client_58_100.mp4 All right, bye-bye. neutral talk_type +1641 AnnoMi-client_60_0.mp4 It's good. neutral talk_type +1642 AnnoMi-client_60_2.mp4 Um, another thing-- Wait, what, I had something, it's just [inaudible 00:00:03] that I wanted to ask you, um, now a lot of my friends have quit smoking. They're getting like ostracized, but, you know, I tend to, like, gravitate, you know, towards-- Like my ex-husband smokes, you know- sustain talk_type +1643 AnnoMi-client_60_4.mp4 -so I find it like acceptable in that regard. sustain talk_type +1644 AnnoMi-client_60_6.mp4 Mm-hmm, yeah. neutral talk_type +1645 AnnoMi-client_60_8.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1646 AnnoMi-client_60_10.mp4 "Yeah, we share-- ""Okay, oh, a smoker, let's go out and have a smoke together,"" yeah. " sustain talk_type +1647 AnnoMi-client_60_12.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1648 AnnoMi-client_60_14.mp4 I like that piece of jewelry, can I? [laughs] neutral talk_type +1649 AnnoMi-client_60_16.mp4 Right. Right, yeah. You can't have my stash. [laughs] neutral talk_type +1650 AnnoMi-client_60_18.mp4 Um, you know, I guess I'll have to like, you know, get all of my information together. change talk_type +1651 AnnoMi-client_60_20.mp4 Right, do my homework and set up my like to have everything available to me. change talk_type +1652 AnnoMi-client_60_22.mp4 And then maybe set up another appointment with you. change talk_type +1653 AnnoMi-client_60_24.mp4 And maybe I don't know if-if that's like something that you'd be, you know, willing to do with me is to- help me set a date. change talk_type +1654 AnnoMi-client_60_26.mp4 And then you know, the next time I see, see progress, or maybe write-- have like a diary or something, I don't know. change talk_type +1655 AnnoMi-client_60_28.mp4 Oh, really? So they didn't have an exact date, they just decided. neutral talk_type +1656 AnnoMi-client_60_30.mp4 Oh, they didn't realize-- They didn't look at the calendar. neutral talk_type +1657 AnnoMi-client_60_32.mp4 And-and wait, I'm sorry, but— neutral talk_type +1658 AnnoMi-client_60_34.mp4 Oh, yeah. [crosstalk] And you know what I've never done that. neutral talk_type +1659 AnnoMi-client_60_36.mp4 That's coming up in November- neutral talk_type +1660 AnnoMi-client_60_38.mp4 -that's cool I'll have to find out about that. change talk_type +1661 AnnoMi-client_60_40.mp4 "Because it's like people who will start and say, ""I'm going to stop drinking at New Year's Eve. After midnight, I'm not gonna drink."" " neutral talk_type +1662 AnnoMi-client_60_42.mp4 That seems to be like, uh, a false setting up, you know, like, come on. neutral talk_type +1663 AnnoMi-client_60_44.mp4 Really? neutral talk_type +1664 AnnoMi-client_60_46.mp4 Or, like, you know, setting up-- but what is that that they say? Um, you know, like, it's- it's the terminology, you know, with all the anxiety and letting go, you know, like I'm gonna [crosstalk]. neutral talk_type +1665 AnnoMi-client_60_48.mp4 Yeah. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. neutral talk_type +1666 AnnoMi-client_60_50.mp4 Right, right. neutral talk_type +1667 AnnoMi-client_60_52.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1668 AnnoMi-client_60_54.mp4 Yeah, and you know, another thing, uh, uh, you know, it's so so bang, but the weight gain is like— sustain talk_type +1669 AnnoMi-client_60_56.mp4 Uh-huh. neutral talk_type +1670 AnnoMi-client_60_58.mp4 Oh, really? neutral talk_type +1671 AnnoMi-client_60_60.mp4 Oh, that's awesome, to know too. neutral talk_type +1672 AnnoMi-client_60_62.mp4 Right, right. Just like [inaudible 00:04:06] Or your chocolate and all that. neutral talk_type +1673 AnnoMi-client_60_64.mp4 So just switching my addiction. [laughs] neutral talk_type +1674 AnnoMi-client_60_66.mp4 Yeah, God, I don't think I could. sustain talk_type +1675 AnnoMi-client_60_68.mp4 You know, I mean like I said three days was like- sustain talk_type +1676 AnnoMi-client_60_70.mp4 -three years, and all I could think about I was like obsessing about it. sustain talk_type +1677 AnnoMi-client_60_72.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +1678 AnnoMi-client_60_74.mp4 Yeah. That's true. neutral talk_type +1679 AnnoMi-client_60_76.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1680 AnnoMi-client_60_78.mp4 Yeah. And I mean and that's-that's a reasonable thing- [crosstalk] neutral talk_type +1681 AnnoMi-client_60_80.mp4 -I don't feel like I'm like you know, it's gonna be-- I think gradually getting my- wrapping my brain around it will help, you know, before I just do, you know. change talk_type +1682 AnnoMi-client_60_82.mp4 You know, I always love, um, I've been in other group therapies- neutral talk_type +1683 AnnoMi-client_60_84.mp4 -and the feedback is really nice and the support- neutral talk_type +1684 AnnoMi-client_60_86.mp4 -system is really good. neutral talk_type +1685 AnnoMi-client_60_88.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1686 AnnoMi-client_60_90.mp4 All right, great. Good. Great. neutral talk_type +1687 AnnoMi-client_60_92.mp4 And thank you for all the information. I appreciate it. neutral talk_type +1688 AnnoMi-client_60_94.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +1689 AnnoMi-client_61_1.mp4 Well, I remember you. Yeah, we met once before. neutral talk_type +1690 AnnoMi-client_61_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1691 AnnoMi-client_61_5.mp4 Well, I went once. neutral talk_type +1692 AnnoMi-client_61_7.mp4 Yeah and, um, it was very-very beautiful to see and the instructor was very nice, but I felt kind of self-conscious because I'm still in my walker. sustain talk_type +1693 AnnoMi-client_61_9.mp4 And I had to sit in the chair. I couldn't, you know, do what they were doing. sustain talk_type +1694 AnnoMi-client_61_11.mp4 So, it's-- it was-- I simply felt self-conscious. sustain talk_type +1695 AnnoMi-client_61_13.mp4 A lot self-conscious. sustain talk_type +1696 AnnoMi-client_61_15.mp4 Yeah. sustain talk_type +1697 AnnoMi-client_61_17.mp4 Well, like Dr. Fields told me, it helps with balance, and I'm still having the wobblies. So, I was really hoping that I could get to the point where I could benefit from what they had to offer. Um, yeah, mostly my balance, mostly my balance. neutral talk_type +1698 AnnoMi-client_61_19.mp4 Not yet. neutral talk_type +1699 AnnoMi-client_61_21.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1700 AnnoMi-client_61_23.mp4 I wanna go home. change talk_type +1701 AnnoMi-client_61_25.mp4 Yes, I really do. change talk_type +1702 AnnoMi-client_61_27.mp4 [sighs] Everything. I want to be with my little dog. change talk_type +1703 AnnoMi-client_61_29.mp4 He's really so cute, and I miss my garden. neutral talk_type +1704 AnnoMi-client_61_31.mp4 And I just miss being independent, going to sleep when I want to sleep and getting up when I want to get up and-and, uh, cooking for myself. The independence. Sure I miss being independent. change talk_type +1705 AnnoMi-client_61_33.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +1706 AnnoMi-client_61_35.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1707 AnnoMi-client_61_37.mp4 Well, they told me that I need to be able to walk down the hallway and back, even with the walker, being secure and not with the wobblies. neutral talk_type +1708 AnnoMi-client_61_39.mp4 And I haven't gotten there yet. sustain talk_type +1709 AnnoMi-client_61_41.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +1710 AnnoMi-client_61_43.mp4 I-I don't want to fall. sustain talk_type +1711 AnnoMi-client_61_45.mp4 I-I've had friends that had that happen. So, um, I-I agree a little, with some hesitation, but I do agree. neutral talk_type +1712 AnnoMi-client_61_47.mp4 Oh, it's better. change talk_type +1713 AnnoMi-client_61_49.mp4 It still hurts. It- it's-- I'm getting better. I'm-I'm getting better. It's not quite as painful. neutral talk_type +1714 AnnoMi-client_61_51.mp4 Yeah, so- neutral talk_type +1715 AnnoMi-client_61_53.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +1716 AnnoMi-client_61_55.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1717 AnnoMi-client_61_57.mp4 [sighs] Um, yes-yes I-I do because I-- my friend, I think I told you, really, really loves it and I just, I wish I could go back, and yes I do. I'm not making much sense, but I do. change talk_type +1718 AnnoMi-client_61_59.mp4 Oh, I don't really know yet after just one time. neutral talk_type +1719 AnnoMi-client_61_61.mp4 Yeah. It's-it's-- I can't make that-- It wouldn't be fair for me to say it does or doesn't. It didn't that one time, but you know. neutral talk_type +1720 AnnoMi-client_61_63.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1721 AnnoMi-client_61_65.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1722 AnnoMi-client_61_67.mp4 Yeah, I do. neutral talk_type +1723 AnnoMi-client_61_69.mp4 Yeah, I would. change talk_type +1724 AnnoMi-client_61_71.mp4 Well, I'd have to make the arrangements again, that was a little complicated, and, um, I'd have to get my head straight about feeling self-conscious, because I-I know that nobody's really looking at me, but I have to convince myself. sustain talk_type +1725 AnnoMi-client_61_73.mp4 Yeah, and the arrangement, arrangements a little complicated. sustain talk_type +1726 AnnoMi-client_61_75.mp4 That I can make the arrangement? neutral talk_type +1727 AnnoMi-client_61_77.mp4 Five. neutral talk_type +1728 AnnoMi-client_61_79.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1729 AnnoMi-client_61_81.mp4 I-I mean, I know I can, but it's really difficult. sustain talk_type +1730 AnnoMi-client_61_83.mp4 That I'm doing it by myself. change talk_type +1731 AnnoMi-client_61_85.mp4 And I would really fe-- If I could have some sup-- Like if somebody could help me do it. change talk_type +1732 AnnoMi-client_61_87.mp4 My-my daughter can't visit that often and, um- sustain talk_type +1733 AnnoMi-client_61_89.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1734 AnnoMi-client_61_91.mp4 I would. change talk_type +1735 AnnoMi-client_61_93.mp4 I would. change talk_type +1736 AnnoMi-client_61_95.mp4 Well, she's-- she could, but I'd have to wait at least a week. neutral talk_type +1737 AnnoMi-client_61_97.mp4 I would. change talk_type +1738 AnnoMi-client_61_99.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Is that possible? change talk_type +1739 AnnoMi-client_61_101.mp4 Uh-huh. neutral talk_type +1740 AnnoMi-client_61_103.mp4 That would- that would be good. And then as far as feeling self-confident, I'd have to do that myself. change talk_type +1741 AnnoMi-client_61_105.mp4 Um, I can't think of any. change talk_type +1742 AnnoMi-client_61_107.mp4 That's-that's the main thing- neutral talk_type +1743 AnnoMi-client_61_109.mp4 -the arrangements. neutral talk_type +1744 AnnoMi-client_61_111.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +1745 AnnoMi-client_61_113.mp4 That's-- Yeah. change talk_type +1746 AnnoMi-client_61_115.mp4 That's true. change talk_type +1747 AnnoMi-client_61_117.mp4 You would? neutral talk_type +1748 AnnoMi-client_61_119.mp4 That would really help. change talk_type +1749 AnnoMi-client_61_121.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1750 AnnoMi-client_61_123.mp4 Yeah. Thank you. neutral talk_type +1751 AnnoMi-client_61_125.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1752 AnnoMi-client_62_1.mp4 I'm good, thanks. neutral talk_type +1753 AnnoMi-client_62_3.mp4 Um, I guess everything's fine. I think my caseworker mentioned something about community service that I have to do or something. I don't know. neutral talk_type +1754 AnnoMi-client_62_5.mp4 I'm not sure of that. neutral talk_type +1755 AnnoMi-client_62_7.mp4 Yeah, I know that she said I have to get so many hours in, but I don't- I don't know. I kind of was half-listening. neutral talk_type +1756 AnnoMi-client_62_9.mp4 I know that I have to get it done by the end of my probation, except I forgot like how many hours or if I'm supposed to find it or someone else is gonna find it for me or I-I told you I'm confused. neutral talk_type +1757 AnnoMi-client_62_12.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1758 AnnoMi-client_62_14.mp4 Exactly, yeah. neutral talk_type +1759 AnnoMi-client_62_16.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +1760 AnnoMi-client_62_18.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1761 AnnoMi-client_62_20.mp4 Um, yeah, I just, so I still have to find the community service hours myself? neutral talk_type +1762 AnnoMi-client_62_22.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1763 AnnoMi-client_62_24.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1764 AnnoMi-client_62_26.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1765 AnnoMi-client_62_28.mp4 Okay, so I would do that. And then do you know, can I get all the 24 hours in in like a weekend or how does that work? neutral talk_type +1766 AnnoMi-client_62_30.mp4 [unintelligible 00:02:20] neutral talk_type +1767 AnnoMi-client_62_32.mp4 Oh, yeah. neutral talk_type +1768 AnnoMi-client_62_34.mp4 Yeah, I think, just to keep track of it better. neutral talk_type +1769 AnnoMi-client_62_36.mp4 I think it's a good idea. change talk_type +1770 AnnoMi-client_62_38.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1771 AnnoMi-client_62_40.mp4 I think that's it. I think I was just worried about who was gonna do it for me, but I know I have to, I guess, do it myself and that 25 hours has to be done. It seems like that's the time I'd have to get done. change talk_type +1772 AnnoMi-client_62_42.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1773 AnnoMi-client_62_44.mp4 All right, thank you. neutral talk_type +1774 AnnoMi-client_63_1.mp4 Definitely. neutral talk_type +1775 AnnoMi-client_63_3.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1776 AnnoMi-client_63_5.mp4 I do some meth. neutral talk_type +1777 AnnoMi-client_63_7.mp4 Snort it, always snort it. neutral talk_type +1778 AnnoMi-client_63_9.mp4 Mm-mm. neutral talk_type +1779 AnnoMi-client_63_11.mp4 Just, you know, some alcohol. neutral talk_type +1780 AnnoMi-client_63_13.mp4 Meth? neutral talk_type +1781 AnnoMi-client_63_15.mp4 Um, two, three times a month. neutral talk_type +1782 AnnoMi-client_63_17.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1783 AnnoMi-client_63_19.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1784 AnnoMi-client_63_21.mp4 Yeah, it could be because, uh, I was high when I had unprotected sex and I would not do that if I were not high. change talk_type +1785 AnnoMi-client_63_23.mp4 Definitely, yeah. change talk_type +1786 AnnoMi-client_63_25.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +1787 AnnoMi-client_63_27.mp4 No, I mean, no. I mean, like I said, I only do it in clubs, you know, with my friends, uh, two or three times a month at-at the most. Um, uh, I don't think it's really having other impacts. But I'm-I'm concerned about this one. I never expected to get gonorrhea. change talk_type +1788 AnnoMi-client_63_29.mp4 I-I understand but it's I think that would be a hard thing for me to do. You know, I mean, I know I should but, I mean, that's like my whole social life. You know, I mean, all my friends go to these clubs. That's where- that's where I see them. You know, that's my sex life basically and, uh, meth is just- it's just a part of it. You know, I mean, everyone is doing it there. You know, so it's while I would like to stop it's-it's kind of hard to think about doing that right away. sustain talk_type +1789 AnnoMi-client_63_31.mp4 Yeah, I don't think it would be easy but I'm not saying that I'm not willing to try. change talk_type +1790 AnnoMi-client_63_33.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1791 AnnoMi-client_63_35.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1792 AnnoMi-client_63_37.mp4 Uh, three. sustain talk_type +1793 AnnoMi-client_63_39.mp4 I mean, this has been really uncomfortable, you know, gonorrhea is a really bad experience. And, uM, I know I don't think the same, you know, when I'm- when I'm on it. And, uh, I mean, what I have is bad enough, I could easily get AIDS. I could get HIV the same way. So that scares me a lot. That's why it's higher than a one or two. change talk_type +1794 AnnoMi-client_63_41.mp4 Well, I do just snort it but you don't know what it's cut with, you know, there could be something, you know. It could be really bad, um, if it was cut with something dangerous or something. I mean, I-I worry about that sometimes. change talk_type +1795 AnnoMi-client_63_43.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +1796 AnnoMi-client_63_45.mp4 Something else to do on weekends, you know, different social life. change talk_type +1797 AnnoMi-client_63_47.mp4 It's the hard thing, I mean, almost everybody I know uses it. sustain talk_type +1798 AnnoMi-client_63_49.mp4 My sister. neutral talk_type +1799 AnnoMi-client_63_51.mp4 I haven't really talked to her about it. I think she knows it I do it sometimes. I mean, we're pretty close. I think I could talk to her about it, and I think she would probably help. change talk_type +1800 AnnoMi-client_63_53.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +1801 AnnoMi-client_63_55.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +1802 AnnoMi-client_63_57.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1803 AnnoMi-client_63_59.mp4 Yeah, sure. neutral talk_type +1804 AnnoMi-client_64_1.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +1805 AnnoMi-client_64_3.mp4 Yeah, you too. neutral talk_type +1806 AnnoMi-client_64_5.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +1807 AnnoMi-client_64_7.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. pretty straightforward- neutral talk_type +1808 AnnoMi-client_64_9.mp4 -always good. neutral talk_type +1809 AnnoMi-client_64_11.mp4 No. No, not at all. neutral talk_type +1810 AnnoMi-client_64_13.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1811 AnnoMi-client_64_15.mp4 "Sure. Um, I guess, you know, maybe two or three weeks ago, I had sort of like this group of friends come around to my place, and um, you know, they-they were sort of saying that it was just like a night to hang out and watch DVDs and stuff, and then they sort of sat me down and were like, ""You know, maybe you need to get a bit of help for, you know, drug stuff."" Then, you know, I was sort of like, ""Well, mm."" And I was quite annoyed by that at first, but I-I suppose, you know, I thought about it for a bit and then I was like, ""Well, I guess it can't hurt to talk to someone about it, maybe."" " change talk_type +1812 AnnoMi-client_64_17.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1813 AnnoMi-client_64_19.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1814 AnnoMi-client_64_21.mp4 Yeah. I just sort of did a bit of search on the internet and stuff and just read about this place, so I just thought I'll— change talk_type +1815 AnnoMi-client_64_23.mp4 Yeah, I guess. I-I suppose I hadn't really thought about it till they sat me down, and you know- I mean I could, uh, I could understand a little bit of where they were coming from, so yeah, I thought I'd— change talk_type +1816 AnnoMi-client_64_25.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1817 AnnoMi-client_64_27.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, which kind of was a bit of a sh-shock, I suppose. change talk_type +1818 AnnoMi-client_64_29.mp4 "Yeah. Yeah, 'cause, you know, I don't know. You know, you see on movies when people sort of intervene or say, ""You know, you need to go and get help."" And then-- I don't know. Like you know those characters and, they-they do need help, you know- " neutral talk_type +1819 AnnoMi-client_64_31.mp4 -because they're fucked. neutral talk_type +1820 AnnoMi-client_64_33.mp4 "And you kind of go, ""Woah. That's not me."" So it's about am I— " change talk_type +1821 AnnoMi-client_64_35.mp4 Yeah, or well, not to that extent, you know what I mean? Like, I-I would-- l didn't think I was at anywhere near a point that I would need to be sat down and intervened with- sustain talk_type +1822 AnnoMi-client_64_37.mp4 -if you know what I mean. neutral talk_type +1823 AnnoMi-client_64_39.mp4 I suppose. neutral talk_type +1824 AnnoMi-client_64_41.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1825 AnnoMi-client_64_43.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 'cause, I mean, you know, they are my friends and- neutral talk_type +1826 AnnoMi-client_64_45.mp4 "- you know, I'm not gonna be so narrow-minded as to say for sure that, you know, they're entirely wrong 'cause there's a big group of them, you know? And they do care, so obviously, there's something there that I might have overlooked. But on the other hand, I'm sort of like, ""Well, was it that bad?"" And you know, ""Was that- was that really necessary?"" But I, you know, I thought I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and- " change talk_type +1827 AnnoMi-client_64_47.mp4 -and just check it up, yep. change talk_type +1828 AnnoMi-client_64_49.mp4 Yeah, pretty right. neutral talk_type +1829 AnnoMi-client_64_51.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1830 AnnoMi-client_64_53.mp4 Okay, cool. neutral talk_type +1831 AnnoMi-client_64_55.mp4 Um, dr-drugs, I guess. neutral talk_type +1832 AnnoMi-client_64_57.mp4 Mm, yeah. Sort of kind of do a bit of P now and again- neutral talk_type +1833 AnnoMi-client_64_59.mp4 -and, um, I guess less often, I do a bit of, you know, I smoke a little bit and, um, party pills in the- in the weekend sometimes. neutral talk_type +1834 AnnoMi-client_64_61.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1835 AnnoMi-client_64_63.mp4 Um, a couple of times a week maybe. neutral talk_type +1836 AnnoMi-client_64_65.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +1837 AnnoMi-client_64_67.mp4 Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah. So I guess when I put it that way, it does sound quite a lot, but it doesn't feel a lot, you know? If you know what I mean? change talk_type +1838 AnnoMi-client_64_69.mp4 Right. Um, I suppose it's kind of hand-in-hand with just hanging out with, sort of, some new scene that I've-- Like, um, I moved to Auckland maybe three years ago. neutral talk_type +1839 AnnoMi-client_64_71.mp4 And, um, I still live in Palmy and, so as you can imagine, it's sort of a bit different down there. And, um, kind of just when I first got here I was sorta introduced a little bit to, um, like do you know Family Bar on-on [unintelligible 00:06:49]? neutral talk_type +1840 AnnoMi-client_64_73.mp4 "Yeah. It's that sort of- that sorta scene, that kind of, um, gay scene, I guess. And, like, it's not something I'd really thought about before and-- But then kinda hung out there and just met these people that were sort of like you don't really get there much Palmy. Well, I mean I suppose you do, but they're not-- You know, in Auckland bars like that you can just-- Uh, you can just be it out in the open, you know, and I suppose in Palmy you can't as easily. Um, so just to arrive and see that and kind of meet these people that were just really friendly, you know, and-and not judge me into it. I don't know. You know, Palmy often is they're sort of like, ""Oh, you've gotta own a car, and soap it up, and drive up and down the Main Street,"" and I just couldn't give a shit about that, you know, so. Or play rugby and, you know, that didn't interest me at all and sorta come here and have people, you know, talk about interesting stuff and have a good time. I just want to go out and dance and stuff like that. Um, that was quite cool for me to know that that existed because I hadn't seen that before and-and I suppose there's a lot of that that goes on there, you know? " sustain talk_type +1841 AnnoMi-client_64_74.mp4 "It's quite a heavy party scene most weekends and stuff. So it kind of goes hand in hand with that really, and just, you know, I guess when I have-have a slight-- I don't know, you just feel really good, I guess. Just feel, like, happy, and excited, and just to be surrounded by people that, you know, really care about you, and love you and-- Coming from a place where y-you didn't-- don't get that as much, it's just really cool, you know, to-to be able to go, ""Okay, on this day I can take this."" And it's just that instant, like, ""I know- I know I'll feel good."" I guess that's part of it. " sustain talk_type +1842 AnnoMi-client_64_76.mp4 Yeah, in-in a way. Although I wouldn't have been conscious of that really. I just sort of discovered it here. It's not like I came to Auckland looking for that kinda- neutral talk_type +1843 AnnoMi-client_64_78.mp4 -lift to get away from, um, you know parents mainly, and that kind of lifestyle, that Palmy sort of lifestyle. But then yeah, I discovered this other thing, um— neutral talk_type +1844 AnnoMi-client_64_80.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +1845 AnnoMi-client_64_82.mp4 No. I didn't really know. I guess you see sort of things like that in-in movies from America you know, but you don't really- neutral talk_type +1846 AnnoMi-client_64_84.mp4 - think that it would exist in your own country. Well, not if you grew up in Palmy. neutral talk_type +1847 AnnoMi-client_64_86.mp4 Um, I don't mean to be mean about Palmy but, you know, it's just the different kinda attitude, I guess, kinda- this done- neutral talk_type +1848 AnnoMi-client_64_88.mp4 -to that sort of thing. neutral talk_type +1849 AnnoMi-client_64_90.mp4 Yes- neutral talk_type +1850 AnnoMi-client_64_92.mp4 -plus- neutral talk_type +1851 AnnoMi-client_64_94.mp4 Yeah, yeah. I definitely wanted to get away from something. I didn't know what too, but then I arrived here and found this thing that was like actually, this was obviously, fate or whatever was pulling me to this thing- sustain talk_type +1852 AnnoMi-client_64_96.mp4 -'cause-'cause like I found something in myself or something that was missing. sustain talk_type +1853 AnnoMi-client_64_98.mp4 "Um, now, I guess, now, I'm just a little used to it. [clears throat] When I first got here, I was like, ""Wow, this is amazing."" This is hard, I guess, but, you know, it's been three years now, so it's just kinda like I've gotten used to it. " neutral talk_type +1854 AnnoMi-client_64_100.mp4 "I mean, I guess, I'm, let's say I take it for granted but, um, yes, it's just comfortable now. And, um, it's just a sort of what I do really. Yeah, so, I guess that the drugs are linked to that, I suppose. It's j-- Well, it's just a part of it, I don't really think-- I didn't really differentiate it. It's just kinda, ""Okay, I'm gonna go hang with my friends,"" and that sort of thing, you know, that Saturday, Friday night thing. And then it just happens really as part of that. " neutral talk_type +1855 AnnoMi-client_64_102.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +1856 AnnoMi-client_64_104.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1857 AnnoMi-client_64_106.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1858 AnnoMi-client_64_108.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +1859 AnnoMi-client_64_110.mp4 Well, I guess, now, that I think about it, maybe it's sort of gone beyond that, maybe I didn't notice that. change talk_type +1860 AnnoMi-client_64_112.mp4 I mean like I always-- Well, it's, you know it's kind of a thing that happens in the weekends but, I guess, sometimes in the weekdays. You know, I'll-I'll pretty much every weekend I'll have a big night, um, maybe two but sometimes, you know, in the weekdays like on a Tuesday or Wednesday or something if I just kinda feel like doing something then I might do that sometimes to see if someone else wants to come round and join me or, you know, occasionally by myself I might have a smoke by myself or something like that. And I guess that isn't entirely linked to that scene, I suppose. neutral talk_type +1861 AnnoMi-client_64_114.mp4 Mm. Maybe. I suppose I hadn't really thought about it- neutral talk_type +1862 AnnoMi-client_64_116.mp4 -until recently. neutral talk_type +1863 AnnoMi-client_64_118.mp4 Yeah. I suppose just since that kind of intervention thing or I started to give them the benefit of the doubt. And it's- neutral talk_type +1864 AnnoMi-client_64_120.mp4 -maybe noticing some things that I hadn't noticed but— neutral talk_type +1865 AnnoMi-client_64_122.mp4 Oh, I mean, e-even just now, you know, when you asked me how often. neutral talk_type +1866 AnnoMi-client_64_124.mp4 "Mm. S-surprised me to-to think about, you know, when there's stuff, and you don't really think about it, but then if someone asked you, you know, how often or-- and then you kind of have to quantify it, I suppose it kinda sound shocking, you know, if I- if I imagine myself sort of saying, ""I do this, you know, a few times a week."" It-it- " change talk_type +1867 AnnoMi-client_64_126.mp4 "-sounds shocking. But to me it-it's- it doesn't feel that way, you know, that's kind of where that, where it kind of doesn't sit right. I, [clears throat] that's why I kind of got a bit miffed at my friends a little bit, or I dunno, a bit defensive there. 'Cause you know, it sounds a lot, but it doesn't feel out of control or anything, you know. It doesn't feel, I dunno, people that need to go and see therapists or whatever you kind of go, ""Oh, they're an addict."" You know. They-- Their health is really bad and they need urgent help right now quickly, Uh, well, at least that's kind of the-the feeling you get. And I don't feel that at all. I don't feel like it's a real urgent thing. So that- " sustain talk_type +1868 AnnoMi-client_64_128.mp4 -felt a bit weird. neutral talk_type +1869 AnnoMi-client_64_130.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1870 AnnoMi-client_64_132.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1871 AnnoMi-client_64_134.mp4 Definitely. neutral talk_type +1872 AnnoMi-client_64_136.mp4 Yep. Um. Uh, I suppose money is quite a big thing. Like, I used to have a lot more money sorta last year. I had a, quite a good job, like a, quite a regular acting job. change talk_type +1873 AnnoMi-client_64_138.mp4 Um, and it was like quite a lot of money that la-last year. So it wasn't such a problem then. And I suppose I sort of blew that money a little bit. Um, so now I don't have that acting income coming in as frequently and I'm working in a cafe like a sort of part-time and it's not bringing in as much. So now it's kinda like, and sometimes I need to borrow a bit of money or sorta need a bit of help with the rent sometimes. change talk_type +1874 AnnoMi-client_64_140.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. A little bit. neutral talk_type +1875 AnnoMi-client_64_142.mp4 No. But you know, that's the life of an actor, I suppose, ups and downs works and not works. neutral talk_type +1876 AnnoMi-client_64_144.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +1877 AnnoMi-client_64_146.mp4 It's not. neutral talk_type +1878 AnnoMi-client_64_148.mp4 Hmm. Could have been a couple of auditions that I didn't do so well and as I could have 'cause of that. change talk_type +1879 AnnoMi-client_64_150.mp4 "Uh, maybe. Maybe it's just my general sort of state. Um,I dunno, sometimes I suppose just kind of weighs on my mind a little bit like, ""What am I doing or why am I spending my money on this?"" I mean, when it's happening, it's like, this is amazing. " neutral talk_type +1880 AnnoMi-client_64_152.mp4 You know am I-- You go in- you go into places, interesting places, but you know, I could just as well have saved that money and actually gone to interesting places I suppose. But I don't know. I wonder if it- if-if it's having an effect. I-I don't know. I can't say for sure, but maybe it's not so good for the face, I dunno. [crosstalk] Dunno if I look tired or-or run down or- change talk_type +1881 AnnoMi-client_64_154.mp4 -or if I actually am tired or run down, I suppose. Again, this is things that I haven't really thought about- change talk_type +1882 AnnoMi-client_64_156.mp4 -but now I'm starting to think about. change talk_type +1883 AnnoMi-client_64_158.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1884 AnnoMi-client_64_160.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1885 AnnoMi-client_64_162.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1886 AnnoMi-client_64_164.mp4 Yeah. Hmm. neutral talk_type +1887 AnnoMi-client_64_166.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +1888 AnnoMi-client_64_168.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +1889 AnnoMi-client_64_170.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1890 AnnoMi-client_64_172.mp4 "Uh, I guess it's obviously having some sort of effect on my friends and my flatmates, 'cause, you know, they set me down and said, ""Look you gotta- " change talk_type +1891 AnnoMi-client_64_174.mp4 "-look into this or else we can't hang out anymore."" " change talk_type +1892 AnnoMi-client_64_176.mp4 That would be a problem, yeah. change talk_type +1893 AnnoMi-client_64_178.mp4 If they didn't wanna hang out, well, then what have I got, I suppose? change talk_type +1894 AnnoMi-client_64_180.mp4 "Yeah. Yeah, and I mean part of it, yeah. Part of it I just wonder 'cause, you know, a lot of those friends that set me down are obviously the ones that are not part of that scene. I mean there were a couple there that-that are, but mostly they were the ones that sort of have always sorta been a bit judgy. You know, like when I first started all this stuff, you know. And clearly, there wasn't a problem like-- 'cause I used to be that guy as well you know, like, ""No never do that 'cause it's bad,"" and then you try it the first time and you go, ""Actually, it's not that bad."" It's not the end of the world if you're sensible with it, then it's not gonna be, you know. " sustain talk_type +1895 AnnoMi-client_64_181.mp4 You have to take a stupid amount to do any kind of like, or, you know, to die or to end up in a hospital. sustain talk_type +1896 AnnoMi-client_64_183.mp4 "So it's provided you don't-- you're not stupid with it. Then it's just a bit of fun but you can't really explain that to people who are-- have their walls up. So it's hard not to sit in this room full of people kind of going, ""Oh, you know, you really should stop the drugs, they're bad."" It's like, ""Well actually, you don't know what you're talking about."" " neutral talk_type +1897 AnnoMi-client_64_185.mp4 Yep. Yeah, a couple. neutral talk_type +1898 AnnoMi-client_64_187.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1899 AnnoMi-client_64_189.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +1900 AnnoMi-client_64_191.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +1901 AnnoMi-client_64_193.mp4 Um, well I suppose the acting thing is a really big concern. change talk_type +1902 AnnoMi-client_64_195.mp4 'Cause I want that to be my job, you know. I'm fucking sick of cafes. change talk_type +1903 AnnoMi-client_64_197.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1904 AnnoMi-client_64_199.mp4 I'd like it to be, yeah. neutral talk_type +1905 AnnoMi-client_64_201.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1906 AnnoMi-client_64_203.mp4 Yeah, 'cause I mean it's all you know, it's partly lacking and partly being at the right place at the right time. And if you're at the right place and at the right time and it is not on your game then there could have been a— neutral talk_type +1907 AnnoMi-client_64_205.mp4 Yeah, it could be. change talk_type +1908 AnnoMi-client_64_207.mp4 Yeah, and then I suppose also like money is linked into that as well, you know, I've-- I'm not doing as many courses and stuff as I used to be doing, 'cause it's, you know, don't have the money. change talk_type +1909 AnnoMi-client_64_209.mp4 Well, yeah, I mean, obviously I don't wanna keep pissing my flatmates off. change talk_type +1910 AnnoMi-client_64_211.mp4 You know, and it's not- it's not cool to not pay the rent, obviously. It's not something I'm happy with. change talk_type +1911 AnnoMi-client_64_213.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1912 AnnoMi-client_64_215.mp4 Yeah, and I don't wanna be that person. change talk_type +1913 AnnoMi-client_64_217.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1914 AnnoMi-client_64_219.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1915 AnnoMi-client_64_221.mp4 Yeah. Not-not necessarily P or whatever but yeah most people are doing something. Yeah. I suppose yeah it's kind of part of that scene that there's not a huge like, you know, you go to normal bars and most people are just drunk and wasted and like spewing everywhere and stuff and whereas that's a different scene. Like, people drink but they don't drink to that excess but they take other things and have a good time. And, yeah. sustain talk_type +1916 AnnoMi-client_64_223.mp4 Yeah. I mean there are people that do that. I suppose it-it would be hard. I-I haven't really thought about it, I suppose. That's all it is, all I've known that scene to be, you know, 'cause I'm quite new to it, you know- neutral talk_type +1917 AnnoMi-client_64_225.mp4 -so from the beginning it was always there. neutral talk_type +1918 AnnoMi-client_64_227.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1919 AnnoMi-client_64_229.mp4 Oh yeah, well, they must be. I can't imagine everyone is there, I guess just the ma-majority or at least p-- the majority of people that I know, yeah. neutral talk_type +1920 AnnoMi-client_64_231.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1921 AnnoMi-client_64_233.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1922 AnnoMi-client_64_235.mp4 Yep. Yeah. neutral talk_type +1923 AnnoMi-client_64_237.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +1924 AnnoMi-client_64_239.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1925 AnnoMi-client_64_241.mp4 Well, [coughs] I must say I was a bit, um, you know, at the start when I was sort of saying I, you know, this is how often I do it and then I found myself talking about the kind of the weekday stuff I kinda took myself back a bit there. I suppose, you know, on a Wednesday by yourself like it doesn't sound that good. change talk_type +1926 AnnoMi-client_64_243.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1927 AnnoMi-client_64_245.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1928 AnnoMi-client_64_247.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +1929 AnnoMi-client_64_249.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, but I think you're right about, just something to look forward to, because it's that midweek slump, you know. So far away till people will be in their place where they can- neutral talk_type +1930 AnnoMi-client_64_251.mp4 -hang out and have a good time. neutral talk_type +1931 AnnoMi-client_64_253.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1932 AnnoMi-client_64_255.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1933 AnnoMi-client_64_257.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1934 AnnoMi-client_64_259.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1935 AnnoMi-client_64_261.mp4 Yeah. Yep. neutral talk_type +1936 AnnoMi-client_65_0.mp4 Many people have told me, um, if I quit smoking, I'm going to gain weight. neutral talk_type +1937 AnnoMi-client_65_2.mp4 Well, food really doesn't taste good, but they say it tastes much better- neutral talk_type +1938 AnnoMi-client_65_4.mp4 -if you quit smoking. neutral talk_type +1939 AnnoMi-client_65_6.mp4 Now the downside to that is I'm gonna gain weight. sustain talk_type +1940 AnnoMi-client_65_8.mp4 That means a new wardrobe, which I'd like to have, but I can't afford it. sustain talk_type +1941 AnnoMi-client_65_10.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1942 AnnoMi-client_65_12.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1943 AnnoMi-client_65_14.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1944 AnnoMi-client_65_16.mp4 Um, withdrawal. sustain talk_type +1945 AnnoMi-client_65_18.mp4 They say it's awful. Um, being cranky. sustain talk_type +1946 AnnoMi-client_65_20.mp4 And if I do go through this, I just hope my friends understand and will support me in what I'm trying to do. neutral talk_type +1947 AnnoMi-client_65_22.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1948 AnnoMi-client_65_24.mp4 Um, I think everything's on the bad side about smoking, but, um, I've just smoked so long. I-I just can't imagine- sustain talk_type +1949 AnnoMi-client_65_26.mp4 -not- going through life without smoking. sustain talk_type +1950 AnnoMi-client_65_28.mp4 I know I've got to stop. Uh, I'm having no health problems from cigarettes- change talk_type +1951 AnnoMi-client_65_30.mp4 -at present, but when the doctor told me this morning what could be waiting for me in the future- change talk_type +1952 AnnoMi-client_65_32.mp4 -that made me rethink- neutral talk_type +1953 AnnoMi-client_65_34.mp4 -everything. neutral talk_type +1954 AnnoMi-client_66_1.mp4 Hey. neutral talk_type +1955 AnnoMi-client_66_3.mp4 Pleasure to meet you. neutral talk_type +1956 AnnoMi-client_66_5.mp4 Yeah. I'm supposed to learn how to manage it. I just learned that I got diabetes and apparently, it's pretty bad 'cause, uh, she said my blood sugar was sky high, and then she laid all these huge consequences on things that can happen. That just sounds so disastrous and, uh, and then she told me I gotta do all this stuff. And man, I'm just sort of disappointed right now. change talk_type +1957 AnnoMi-client_66_7.mp4 She mentioned my legs having troubles and- change talk_type +1958 AnnoMi-client_66_9.mp4 Well, that's, yeah. It's not just being scared, you know. I don't want that to happen to me, but then when I, when-when she reels off all these things I gotta do and I'm sort of going oh, oh, you know, I'm not certain I can even get it done. So it's sort of sitting-- well, you know, I'm sitting here thinking that, oh my God, this is- this is what's gonna happen to me. sustain talk_type +1959 AnnoMi-client_66_11.mp4 And it is discouraging, just like discouraging. sustain talk_type +1960 AnnoMi-client_66_13.mp4 Yeah. It looks like a massive task that I'm may not be able to handle. And then, yeah, all this horrible stuff happens to me. I mean, it's- it's a bleak-looking situation and a lot worse. sustain talk_type +1961 AnnoMi-client_66_16.mp4 Well, I don't think too much trouble in taking the medicines, especially since I understand my blood sugar is really high. and- change talk_type +1962 AnnoMi-client_66_18.mp4 Yeah, I'm pretty- I'm pretty good at taking drugs. change talk_type +1963 AnnoMi-client_66_20.mp4 Yeah. I think I could probably do that. change talk_type +1964 AnnoMi-client_66_22.mp4 Well, she also mentioned monitoring my blood sugar and all this. And that just seemed like a lot of mumbo jambo to me. sustain talk_type +1965 AnnoMi-client_66_24.mp4 Oh, okay. neutral talk_type +1966 AnnoMi-client_66_26.mp4 Well, I like it that I, you know, that-that we can do it at a step at a time. I mean, that's-- that relieves some pressure. change talk_type +1967 AnnoMi-client_66_28.mp4 And being able to talk with you and do this as we go along rather than-- I-I wasn't certain I could just, wham, put this huge program in[chuckles] into effect. Uh, but doing a step at a time and I, you know, that-- getting on the medicine, I don't think that's any big problem. That I can do I am pretty sure. change talk_type +1968 AnnoMi-client_66_30.mp4 Yeah. I think I could do that. Uh, as long as there's no big-time side effects, but, uh- change talk_type +1969 AnnoMi-client_67_1.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1970 AnnoMi-client_67_3.mp4 Something like that. neutral talk_type +1971 AnnoMi-client_67_5.mp4 Uh, I vape. I have a pen, but I don't smoke it though. neutral talk_type +1972 AnnoMi-client_67_7.mp4 Um, a few times a month. neutral talk_type +1973 AnnoMi-client_67_9.mp4 I did a peppermint oil once, someone shared it with me. neutral talk_type +1974 AnnoMi-client_67_11.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +1975 AnnoMi-client_67_13.mp4 Well, I don't think it's going to hurt me. neutral talk_type +1976 AnnoMi-client_67_15.mp4 Um, I don't know. It makes me relax, and it's fun to laugh with my friend. neutral talk_type +1977 AnnoMi-client_67_17.mp4 Well, I don't want to get in trouble like at school. neutral talk_type +1978 AnnoMi-client_67_19.mp4 Well, I can get suspended and I would get kicked off the team, the basketball team. neutral talk_type +1979 AnnoMi-client_67_21.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +1980 AnnoMi-client_67_23.mp4 well, I was thinking to not use when basketball season start. neutral talk_type +1981 AnnoMi-client_67_25.mp4 Well, I play better when I'm not high. neutral talk_type +1982 AnnoMi-client_67_27.mp4 Well, I wouldn't get caught with using a pen, so I wouldn't get kicked off the basketball team. change talk_type +1983 AnnoMi-client_67_29.mp4 For about a month. change talk_type +1984 AnnoMi-client_67_31.mp4 Um, seven. change talk_type +1985 AnnoMi-client_67_33.mp4 Well, I'm pretty sure, um, I can stop using for a month. I want to play well. change talk_type +1986 AnnoMi-client_67_35.mp4 Uh, I don't know. neutral talk_type +1987 AnnoMi-client_67_37.mp4 Well, if I'm stressed or unhappy, that's when I usually wanna vape. change talk_type +1988 AnnoMi-client_67_39.mp4 Hmm, I like to play video games. change talk_type +1989 AnnoMi-client_67_41.mp4 I can play basketball with my friend Sarah. change talk_type +1990 AnnoMi-client_67_43.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +1991 AnnoMi-client_67_45.mp4 Mm-hmm. change talk_type +1992 AnnoMi-client_68_1.mp4 Hi. Thank you. neutral talk_type +1993 AnnoMi-client_68_3.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1994 AnnoMi-client_68_5.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +1995 AnnoMi-client_68_7.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +1996 AnnoMi-client_68_9.mp4 Sure. Um, as you know, I'm Andrea, I, uh, I'm a junior I'm in the marching band. I play the tenor sax. neutral talk_type +1997 AnnoMi-client_68_11.mp4 Yeah, I'm also in the-- I'm a bit of a band geek. [laughter] I play, you know, in the wind ensemble and the jazz band, things like that. neutral talk_type +1998 AnnoMi-client_68_13.mp4 Yeah, [crosstalk]. neutral talk_type +1999 AnnoMi-client_68_15.mp4 Oh, I started playing about 10 years ago, actually. neutral talk_type +2000 AnnoMi-client_68_17.mp4 Yeah, I started on the violin first, and then I went on, explored a little with the piano, clarinet, finally found the tenor sax, and yeah. neutral talk_type +2001 AnnoMi-client_68_19.mp4 Um, you know, just hanging out with my friends or go to the beach, things like that. neutral talk_type +2002 AnnoMi-client_68_21.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2003 AnnoMi-client_68_23.mp4 Yeah [laughs]. neutral talk_type +2004 AnnoMi-client_68_25.mp4 Uh, well I have one older brother he's about eight and a half old- years older than me. My parents, and I have a dog [laughs]. neutral talk_type +2005 AnnoMi-client_68_27.mp4 He's a Golden Retriever. neutral talk_type +2006 AnnoMi-client_68_29.mp4 My big boy. neutral talk_type +2007 AnnoMi-client_68_31.mp4 They're pretty good. Grades have been pretty all right. Still like 3.7 ish. neutral talk_type +2008 AnnoMi-client_68_33.mp4 Uh, I'd like to, you know, I'd like to, of course, graduate high school, hopefully, go to a nice Ivy League school. change talk_type +2009 AnnoMi-client_68_35.mp4 But I mean, that might not happen. And then I'd like to go on and become a doctor. Study psychology and then become a psychiatrist or something. change talk_type +2010 AnnoMi-client_68_37.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2011 AnnoMi-client_68_39.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2012 AnnoMi-client_68_41.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2013 AnnoMi-client_68_43.mp4 Um, I think a sense of community and belonging. neutral talk_type +2014 AnnoMi-client_68_45.mp4 I think those two and, um, respect. neutral talk_type +2015 AnnoMi-client_68_47.mp4 Yeah. Well, I think community and belonging, I kind of related them. Um, you know how I said I was in the marching band? neutral talk_type +2016 AnnoMi-client_68_49.mp4 I really, you know, I really enjoy being in that team setting of, you know, being with other people and all working toward- together towards that one goal. neutral talk_type +2017 AnnoMi-client_68_51.mp4 And then in terms of respect, I-I kind of view that as one of like my major like rules. Like, I-I really do think respect is important, to respect myself and respect those around me, so. neutral talk_type +2018 AnnoMi-client_68_53.mp4 I place great importance in that. neutral talk_type +2019 AnnoMi-client_68_55.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2020 AnnoMi-client_68_57.mp4 Yes, purpose. neutral talk_type +2021 AnnoMi-client_68_59.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2022 AnnoMi-client_68_61.mp4 Definitely, that's right. neutral talk_type +2023 AnnoMi-client_68_63.mp4 Um, sometimes we just, you know, go to the movies, go to the beach, like I had said, or sometimes we just get together at someone's house, play some good board games and hang out. neutral talk_type +2024 AnnoMi-client_68_65.mp4 Yeah, sometimes. neutral talk_type +2025 AnnoMi-client_68_67.mp4 Uh, well it's mostly just for, for parties or party settings is kind of to get things going and get everything loosened up as they say. neutral talk_type +2026 AnnoMi-client_68_69.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2027 AnnoMi-client_68_71.mp4 I'd say, um, on a not busy month, for instance, I'd say about like two weekends out of the month. Two or three. neutral talk_type +2028 AnnoMi-client_68_73.mp4 The days that we drink are mostly, like I said, they're parties, so it's more of that whole partying and dancing and, you know, having everyone have fun. And then when we don't, it's a lot more relaxed. It's a lot more hanging out, playing board games, watching a movie it's not yeah. neutral talk_type +2029 AnnoMi-client_68_75.mp4 Definitely. neutral talk_type +2030 AnnoMi-client_68_77.mp4 Um, I think of them as-as different, I think, you know, like in playing board games and things, it's meant to be relaxing. neutral talk_type +2031 AnnoMi-client_68_79.mp4 So it's nice to have like that kind of breather- neutral talk_type +2032 AnnoMi-client_68_81.mp4 -versus with a party it's a lot more energetic it's, uh, after it all, it's very draining. change talk_type +2033 AnnoMi-client_68_83.mp4 But in the moment it's quite fun to dance and have fun. sustain talk_type +2034 AnnoMi-client_68_85.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2035 AnnoMi-client_68_87.mp4 Um, it's, you know, when we drink, we-we tend to have more fun because I guess we're not, you know, everyone's drinking together. We're a lot more loosened up and relaxed- sustain talk_type +2036 AnnoMi-client_68_89.mp4 -and not really thinking about stresses or things like that, but it can be--When it's too much drinking, it can be- can be obviously bad. change talk_type +2037 AnnoMi-client_68_91.mp4 Um, a lot of times, it'll make- it'll make people stupid. [laughs] Yeah, you know, people make dumb decisions and things like that. We-we usually try to be as safe about it change talk_type +2038 AnnoMi-client_68_93.mp4 -as possible. So we'll like sleep over at a friend's house. And so that, you know, we're not driving and it's mostly within our friend group. So we're not worried about strangers putting weird things in our drinks. neutral talk_type +2039 AnnoMi-client_68_95.mp4 But, um, definitely some of the ideas people can have when they're stup- when they're drunk and can be really stupid. change talk_type +2040 AnnoMi-client_68_97.mp4 Yeah neutral talk_type +2041 AnnoMi-client_68_99.mp4 Sometimes. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2042 AnnoMi-client_68_101.mp4 Well, I, especially don't like it whenever me or one of my friends, like we drink too much and we end up like throwing up or things like that, that I don't- that's not fun. change talk_type +2043 AnnoMi-client_68_103.mp4 It's not. change talk_type +2044 AnnoMi-client_68_105.mp4 For me, that's happened to me once. It was the first time I ever drunk and it was- it was a lot, I didn't know what I was doing. I was mixing all kinds of weird things and just kind of taking anything everyone- anyone gave me change talk_type +2045 AnnoMi-client_68_107.mp4 -and that didn't end well. change talk_type +2046 AnnoMi-client_68_109.mp4 But after that, I haven't- but I do have friends that still do sometimes, so I'll end up like having to take care of them or something and- change talk_type +2047 AnnoMi-client_68_111.mp4 It kind of puts a downer on my- on my fun. change talk_type +2048 AnnoMi-client_68_113.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2049 AnnoMi-client_68_115.mp4 Yeah. People can get a little like sloppy, I guess. Like they're all loose, like with people in corners doing things that should be done in private- change talk_type +2050 AnnoMi-client_68_117.mp4 -and that kind of stuff. neutral talk_type +2051 AnnoMi-client_68_119.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2052 AnnoMi-client_68_121.mp4 I just- I've, you know, I have an aunt who is an alcoholic. So I-I see like the issues that are involved and I've seen movies and things I know that drunk driving is an issue- change talk_type +2053 AnnoMi-client_68_123.mp4 So, I, you know, I wanna be as safe as possible in those terms and be in a setting where like we can let loose but still be safe like in someone's house or sort of my parents will tell me something. But-- So, I- like I know that there are dangers involved and I guess I wanna limit that. change talk_type +2054 AnnoMi-client_68_125.mp4 And so be where I have fun. neutral talk_type +2055 AnnoMi-client_68_127.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2056 AnnoMi-client_68_129.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2057 AnnoMi-client_68_131.mp4 Then it kind of defeats the purpose? [laughs] change talk_type +2058 AnnoMi-client_68_133.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2059 AnnoMi-client_68_135.mp4 In terms of what? In terms of respect? neutral talk_type +2060 AnnoMi-client_68_137.mp4 I think, well in a way, I do think that drinking is probably a form of disrespect to my own body because I'm not putting things- I'm putting things in it that shouldn't be there. change talk_type +2061 AnnoMi-client_68_139.mp4 And then-- But in terms of at- how it is I am respecting myself, I am- I'm respecting myself by like trying to stay in someone's house and like trying to limit my drinking so I don't get to that blackout like throwing up and everything. sustain talk_type +2062 AnnoMi-client_68_141.mp4 And try to, you know, let loose but still be in control of my behavior so I'm not gonna go somewhere with a person I met- neutral talk_type +2063 AnnoMi-client_68_143.mp4 -into I don't know where to, I don't know what, and- neutral talk_type +2064 AnnoMi-client_68_145.mp4 -things like that. neutral talk_type +2065 AnnoMi-client_68_147.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2066 AnnoMi-client_68_150.mp4 "I usually-- Well, I start off like I make sure that I make my own drink so I know what's in it and how much is in it. So in that way I control how much I drink. So, I usually just, you know, get one of those cups and then make one drink. And then I'll try to make it last as long as possible. And I'll be like, ""All right, this is my one drink"" and I'm good in that way. I still have something in my cup so people aren't gonna be like, ""Oh, here. Have some more."" I'd be like, ""No, I'm good. I have mine,"" and I'll still be, you know, having some to like let loose a little. " neutral talk_type +2067 AnnoMi-client_68_152.mp4 "For the most part, it works pretty well because, like I said, people, you know, people come asking me, trying to pressure me, I'll be like, ""No, I'm good. I have- You know, I still have something. I'll get some later."" And I never end up getting anything. Oh, but sometimes they'll be like, ""Hey, let's take a shot,"" and everyone's gathered around like the kitchen or something ready to take a shot. And then at that point, I'll be like, ""Oh, well, maybe I can take one more."" And that's when I start, you know, falling into- " change talk_type +2068 AnnoMi-client_68_154.mp4 -way too much. change talk_type +2069 AnnoMi-client_68_156.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2070 AnnoMi-client_68_158.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2071 AnnoMi-client_68_160.mp4 Um, I'd like to make sure that I'd, you know, in terms of respecting myself and my body, I'd like to, you know, try to drink less. change talk_type +2072 AnnoMi-client_68_162.mp4 Like I-I-- You know, it is nice to let loose and have fun, but I'd also like it to be so, you know, I'm not damaging my body, you know. change talk_type +2073 AnnoMi-client_68_164.mp4 Like my liver doesn't work by the time I'm like 22. change talk_type +2074 AnnoMi-client_68_166.mp4 And, um, you know, have my friends on board with a similar mentality so we can kind of work at it together as a group, as a- as a community. change talk_type +2075 AnnoMi-client_68_168.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2076 AnnoMi-client_68_170.mp4 I'd say about like-like a six or a seven. neutral talk_type +2077 AnnoMi-client_68_172.mp4 I'd like to work on it but, you know, if I get around to it, I get around to it. If I don't, I don't. neutral talk_type +2078 AnnoMi-client_68_174.mp4 Um, because I still think it's-it's important. change talk_type +2079 AnnoMi-client_68_176.mp4 I still, you know. Like I said, I don't want to hurt my body. Especially going to med school like I know how things affect your body and also affect your-your social and your school work and things like. I know that once I get to college, it's not- it's not gonna-gonna work out being, you know, drinking every weekend and then like trying to wake up early and go to school, take an exam. Like I know that's not- that's not feasible. It's not a good idea. change talk_type +2080 AnnoMi-client_68_178.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2081 AnnoMi-client_68_180.mp4 I think I- neutral talk_type +2082 AnnoMi-client_68_182.mp4 I think if I made the decision that I was going to, for sure, then I think definitely like a 10 I know it'd be going through. neutral talk_type +2083 AnnoMi-client_68_184.mp4 It's just because I know that once I make the decision, I know I can do it. It's making the decision in the first place. change talk_type +2084 AnnoMi-client_68_186.mp4 Um, I'm thinking of maybe like trying to convince my friends without sounding, you know, dorky or something and be like, hey, you know, let's just stay in today. Like, let's not go out or something. Or just be like, hey, I'm not like-- I'm not going to drink today. And then even if my friends do, like being okay with them, drinking around me and not doing it, and then them being okay with me drinking-- Me not drinking and them doing whatever they want. change talk_type +2085 AnnoMi-client_68_188.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2086 AnnoMi-client_68_190.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2087 AnnoMi-client_68_192.mp4 I think so. I think it's-it's very feasible. I think it's possible. change talk_type +2088 AnnoMi-client_68_194.mp4 I think so. I think that's good. change talk_type +2089 AnnoMi-client_68_196.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2090 AnnoMi-client_68_200.mp4 Yeah, I'd like to. change talk_type +2091 AnnoMi-client_68_202.mp4 Perfect. Nice. neutral talk_type +2092 AnnoMi-client_70_1.mp4 Yeah, I do, just a couple of minutes though. neutral talk_type +2093 AnnoMi-client_70_3.mp4 Um, nothing specific. I just am unfamiliar with the medication. neutral talk_type +2094 AnnoMi-client_70_5.mp4 Okay. Uh, what about side effects? neutral talk_type +2095 AnnoMi-client_70_7.mp4 Um, what about does it interact with phenelzine? neutral talk_type +2096 AnnoMi-client_70_9.mp4 Oh, sure. neutral talk_type +2097 AnnoMi-client_70_11.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +2098 AnnoMi-client_71_1.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2099 AnnoMi-client_71_3.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +2100 AnnoMi-client_71_5.mp4 Yeah, it'd be good. neutral talk_type +2101 AnnoMi-client_71_7.mp4 I guess it doesn't. change talk_type +2102 AnnoMi-client_71_9.mp4 Uh, I guess I have to keep coming-coming back here and go into court and stuff. change talk_type +2103 AnnoMi-client_71_11.mp4 Yeah. It kinda messes things up. change talk_type +2104 AnnoMi-client_71_13.mp4 Yeah. It makes it harder. change talk_type +2105 AnnoMi-client_71_15.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +2106 AnnoMi-client_71_17.mp4 Like it's hard to get a job 'cause you have to say that you've done prison time and stuff, so it's pretty hard. change talk_type +2107 AnnoMi-client_71_19.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2108 AnnoMi-client_71_21.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +2109 AnnoMi-client_71_23.mp4 Uh, I don't know if-if I would go into polytech, done courses there or something. change talk_type +2110 AnnoMi-client_71_25.mp4 Yeah. Like, if they've got jobs now. change talk_type +2111 AnnoMi-client_71_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2112 AnnoMi-client_71_29.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +2113 AnnoMi-client_71_31.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2114 AnnoMi-client_71_33.mp4 Just learn more about cars and just, kind of, hands-on job. neutral talk_type +2115 AnnoMi-client_71_35.mp4 [sighs] Mechanic, or panel [unintelligible 00:18:02], or just-- I wouldn't care, I just-- as long as it's cars. change talk_type +2116 AnnoMi-client_71_37.mp4 Yes, pretty much. neutral talk_type +2117 AnnoMi-client_71_39.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2118 AnnoMi-client_71_41.mp4 Just I have to get that training, I guess, and then probably get a job. change talk_type +2119 AnnoMi-client_71_43.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2120 AnnoMi-client_71_45.mp4 Like, sort of, um, just at the polytech. I don't know what exactly it was, but— neutral talk_type +2121 AnnoMi-client_71_47.mp4 It took them like-- And, it took them like a year or something, and then they went into apprenticeship. neutral talk_type +2122 AnnoMi-client_71_49.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2123 AnnoMi-client_71_51.mp4 Yeah. I could do it pretty easy. It's just, like, I probably know all this stuff already. change talk_type +2124 AnnoMi-client_71_53.mp4 Like, well, I went out and picked some forms and stuff, but it's real confusing, like, having to apply, so I-I just couldn't-- I don't know. I couldn't do it. neutral talk_type +2125 AnnoMi-client_71_55.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +2126 AnnoMi-client_71_57.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Passed around and everything. neutral talk_type +2127 AnnoMi-client_71_59.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2128 AnnoMi-client_71_61.mp4 Yeah, but I just-- Like, they wouldn't help me out, so- neutral talk_type +2129 AnnoMi-client_71_63.mp4 -I got some forms and- neutral talk_type +2130 AnnoMi-client_71_65.mp4 I asked- I asked them what I had to do, and they said I had to fill out some forms, but- neutral talk_type +2131 AnnoMi-client_71_67.mp4 -well, the forms, it's too confusing. neutral talk_type +2132 AnnoMi-client_71_69.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Well, I got one- I got one for panel [unintelligible 00:19:33], and one for, uh, uh, like, panel and paint- neutral talk_type +2133 AnnoMi-client_71_71.mp4 -so, learning how to paint cars and stuff. neutral talk_type +2134 AnnoMi-client_71_73.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2135 AnnoMi-client_71_75.mp4 Yeah. I was gonna fill them out there, but then I didn't get them, so I took them home, but I was gonna get Donna to help me, but I just didn't get around to it. neutral talk_type +2136 AnnoMi-client_71_77.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2137 AnnoMi-client_71_79.mp4 I didn't understand, like, what you're supposed to write down. Like, yeah. I'm not good at this, maybe too confusing. neutral talk_type +2138 AnnoMi-client_71_81.mp4 I don't really deal with it. I s-- I don't really like writing. neutral talk_type +2139 AnnoMi-client_71_83.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +2140 AnnoMi-client_71_85.mp4 No, I'm just real messy, so people can't read it. neutral talk_type +2141 AnnoMi-client_71_87.mp4 [chuckles] Yeah, no. It's what they say, yeah. neutral talk_type +2142 AnnoMi-client_71_89.mp4 Yeah, I am. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +2143 AnnoMi-client_71_91.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2144 AnnoMi-client_71_93.mp4 Yeah. Like, a computer or something. If you could write on a computer, I could do that. neutral talk_type +2145 AnnoMi-client_71_95.mp4 But, we don't have a computer. neutral talk_type +2146 AnnoMi-client_71_97.mp4 Just ask to get someone else to do it I guess. I guess I could ask Donna, but it's been embarrassing. neutral talk_type +2147 AnnoMi-client_71_99.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2148 AnnoMi-client_71_101.mp4 Well, I don't know if it's that serious, it's just- neutral talk_type +2149 AnnoMi-client_71_103.mp4 -I'm sure most people can fill them out. I don't know, I just don't get it. neutral talk_type +2150 AnnoMi-client_71_105.mp4 No one. I guess you. You could do it. Would you do it? neutral talk_type +2151 AnnoMi-client_71_107.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +2152 AnnoMi-client_71_109.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2153 AnnoMi-client_71_111.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2154 AnnoMi-client_71_113.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +2155 AnnoMi-client_71_115.mp4 I guess, I'd go pick them up and I don't know, I guess I could ask Donna, but she'd probably help me, I don't really want to. neutral talk_type +2156 AnnoMi-client_71_117.mp4 Well, I don't know. Plus, well, I don't know if I could bother getting up at nine o'clock every morning and having to go to Polytec. I've got used to sleeping in. sustain talk_type +2157 AnnoMi-client_71_119.mp4 At night. neutral talk_type +2158 AnnoMi-client_71_121.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2159 AnnoMi-client_71_123.mp4 Yeah. Uh, it would be cool if it's anything like school. Like, I didn't really enjoy school. [unintelligible 00:22:56] so writing and stuff, and I wouldn't wanna do that. If it's all hands-on though, it would be all good. sustain talk_type +2160 AnnoMi-client_71_125.mp4 Yeah. No, it does get in the way. I just don't wanna do it. neutral talk_type +2161 AnnoMi-client_71_127.mp4 It's a waste of time. sustain talk_type +2162 AnnoMi-client_71_129.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2163 AnnoMi-client_71_131.mp4 For what? neutral talk_type +2164 AnnoMi-client_71_133.mp4 Of what? Well, I don't get it. neutral talk_type +2165 AnnoMi-client_71_135.mp4 Yeah. I can't. neutral talk_type +2166 AnnoMi-client_71_137.mp4 Oh, it's pretty [unintelligible 00:23:47], but, like, still-- I don't know, I'm not retarded, or anything. I can write and read. neutral talk_type +2167 AnnoMi-client_71_139.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2168 AnnoMi-client_71_141.mp4 Like-- neutral talk_type +2169 AnnoMi-client_71_143.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2170 AnnoMi-client_71_145.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2171 AnnoMi-client_71_147.mp4 No, not really. Yeah, I don't really enjoy it. neutral talk_type +2172 AnnoMi-client_71_149.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2173 AnnoMi-client_71_151.mp4 I don't know. Hopefully, not many-- not much, but that's what I wanna find out, I guess. neutral talk_type +2174 AnnoMi-client_71_153.mp4 It'd make everything easier. change talk_type +2175 AnnoMi-client_71_155.mp4 Like-- I don't really like reading books or anything, so I don't really care about that but just, say, real-life stuff like going to the bank, and stuff like that- neutral talk_type +2176 AnnoMi-client_71_157.mp4 -yeah, that have filling out forms. neutral talk_type +2177 AnnoMi-client_71_159.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2178 AnnoMi-client_71_161.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2179 AnnoMi-client_71_163.mp4 Yeah, I didn't think about that. neutral talk_type +2180 AnnoMi-client_71_165.mp4 Yeah, that'd suck if you had to read, like, a big manual or something. Hmm. neutral talk_type +2181 AnnoMi-client_71_167.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +2182 AnnoMi-client_73_0.mp4 He, um, introduced me to it too, so I've tried it. neutral talk_type +2183 AnnoMi-client_73_2.mp4 Oxy. neutral talk_type +2184 AnnoMi-client_73_4.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2185 AnnoMi-client_73_6.mp4 Well, yeah he said it was a pain- a pain medicine. neutral talk_type +2186 AnnoMi-client_73_8.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2187 AnnoMi-client_73_10.mp4 And it has, but I don't do it as often, it's just sometimes. neutral talk_type +2188 AnnoMi-client_73_12.mp4 Dealing with my grandma's loss. sustain talk_type +2189 AnnoMi-client_73_14.mp4 Yeah. I feel alone, and I just, I miss her and, it does- it does help but,- sustain talk_type +2190 AnnoMi-client_73_16.mp4 -I don't wanna have to rely on having to take that. change talk_type +2191 AnnoMi-client_73_18.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah, and— neutral talk_type +2192 AnnoMi-client_73_20.mp4 Right. change talk_type +2193 AnnoMi-client_73_22.mp4 Yeah, it is. neutral talk_type +2194 AnnoMi-client_73_24.mp4 Yeah, well, I don't really know too much about it, other than it makes me feel good. sustain talk_type +2195 AnnoMi-client_76_0.mp4 Hi. neutral talk_type +2196 AnnoMi-client_76_2.mp4 Good, I'm doing really good. neutral talk_type +2197 AnnoMi-client_76_4.mp4 Yeah, I really like doing this, and, um, I-I rated health as my first- neutral talk_type +2198 AnnoMi-client_76_6.mp4 -uh, value. Yeah, because I really value physical and mental health, um, spiritual, emotional. Everything as a whole package, I guess, health. Um, and I'm working on, um, a certification to become a fitness trainer. Cal State [inaudible 00:00:40] there's a like extension program. I've been doing that for the last five weeks. I have a final exam coming up, like, Saturday. A little tense about it, I guess, but, um, I'm looking forward to, like, doing it, and I gotta wait for my results. Then, I got into an internship. neutral talk_type +2199 AnnoMi-client_76_8.mp4 Um, but it's kind of exciting, a different career path in my life. Being an office worker for so long is getting boring too-- physical activity, health, in that respect. neutral talk_type +2200 AnnoMi-client_76_10.mp4 Yeah, I like being active. You know, if I could, um, be more adept to tennis, and I would love to do something like that coaching people how to play tennis, but I don't. I know enough about the game and play it, but I-I don't think my skill level would be high enough to actually coach other people but— neutral talk_type +2201 AnnoMi-client_76_12.mp4 Yes, I have. neutral talk_type +2202 AnnoMi-client_76_14.mp4 It's been in the top. It's been up there, yeah. I don't remember if it's always been number one. It's probably definitely been in the top three. Uh, yeah, because I've had problems, um, with inner harmony, I guess in different stages in my life, so I don't get that. This time I put it at number two. neutral talk_type +2203 AnnoMi-client_76_16.mp4 Yeah, it's just funny how it came out that it wasn't in the top 12. But then when I look at it again it had something to do with, um, peace, uh, inner peace or something or something in there. neutral talk_type +2204 AnnoMi-client_76_18.mp4 And, um, I put that as a higher priority, or top of my value list. neutral talk_type +2205 AnnoMi-client_76_20.mp4 Yeah. Um, since I've been practicing yoga, and since I learned how to teach yoga, that's been something that I've been, um, coming to terms with more, that I feel like I have a lot more inner harmony. I'm more at peace with myself, and in-in the quiet times, and if I'm meditating. change talk_type +2206 AnnoMi-client_76_22.mp4 Um, I really feel like-- yeah, I feel like really good about myself. neutral talk_type +2207 AnnoMi-client_76_24.mp4 "Yeah, that's part of it. Yeah, and then just feeling like, um, I don't have to please other people either. It's not a selfish thing to put myself first. And, uh, that's something I've always tried to do, make other people happy, please other people, and-and also put myself second, third, fourth, or whatever it is. And I always thought, ""Well, that's the way a good person should be.They should always put other people first, you know. And then there's times for that, you know. There's something going on, and you wanna go out of your way to help people, and you say, ""Well, my needs aren't so important right now."" I think that is okay to do once in a while. As long as you know- you know that you're not really, um, doing anything detrimental to yourself while you're doing it. And you realize, ""Well, I'm just-- I'm really helping this other person a lot, and it gives me satisfaction."" " neutral talk_type +2208 AnnoMi-client_76_26.mp4 "Not out of a sense of, uh, you know, ""I'm obligated to this person."" " neutral talk_type +2209 AnnoMi-client_76_28.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2210 AnnoMi-client_76_30.mp4 Self love. neutral talk_type +2211 AnnoMi-client_77_1.mp4 [signs] Kind of slow. neutral talk_type +2212 AnnoMi-client_77_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2213 AnnoMi-client_77_5.mp4 Oh, they have me doing all kinds of things in different machines and stuff. Yeah, it hurts. neutral talk_type +2214 AnnoMi-client_77_7.mp4 Well, just about every joint like especially my knees. They're really-- They have me doing some leg things that-that-that is it really necessary? neutral talk_type +2215 AnnoMi-client_77_9.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2216 AnnoMi-client_77_11.mp4 I wanna go home. neutral talk_type +2217 AnnoMi-client_77_13.mp4 Everything. I wanna- I wanna, play with my dog. I miss my dog. I wanna cook for myself. I'm a very independent person and I wanna do things for myself. neutral talk_type +2218 AnnoMi-client_77_15.mp4 Um, I guess the rehab. neutral talk_type +2219 AnnoMi-client_77_17.mp4 Not really. neutral talk_type +2220 AnnoMi-client_77_19.mp4 Oh, yeah. neutral talk_type +2221 AnnoMi-client_77_21.mp4 Uh, I have. neutral talk_type +2222 AnnoMi-client_77_23.mp4 I have a friend who, uh, does it and she just raves about it. She loves it. neutral talk_type +2223 AnnoMi-client_77_25.mp4 Absolutely. I do not want to fall, for sure. change talk_type +2224 AnnoMi-client_77_27.mp4 Well, I-I hadn't really thought about it, but yeah I guess, I guess. neutral talk_type +2225 AnnoMi-client_77_29.mp4 Like I said, my friend talks about it and-and it's very pretty. I've seen pictures, you know. neutral talk_type +2226 AnnoMi-client_77_31.mp4 Well, I don't see how I could do it. I-I'm still in a walker, you know. sustain talk_type +2227 AnnoMi-client_77_33.mp4 I could? neutral talk_type +2228 AnnoMi-client_77_35.mp4 And you really recommend this? neutral talk_type +2229 AnnoMi-client_77_37.mp4 You do Tai Chi? neutral talk_type +2230 AnnoMi-client_77_39.mp4 Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Um, listen, anything that's going to get me home and if you do it and you recommend it, I'll try it. change talk_type +2231 AnnoMi-client_77_41.mp4 Okay, okay. neutral talk_type +2232 AnnoMi-client_78_1.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2233 AnnoMi-client_78_3.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2234 AnnoMi-client_78_5.mp4 It's been- it's been really difficult. Um, I hate to see her gasping for breath. And, um, I'm really worried, you know, when she has to go. Uh, so that's been-- it's really difficult when I have to take her. change talk_type +2235 AnnoMi-client_78_7.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah. change talk_type +2236 AnnoMi-client_78_9.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2237 AnnoMi-client_78_11.mp4 Well, I did research on the chronic inhaler and I found out that there were steroids in it and that-that I don't want her taking steroids. I did, uh, research on some of the potential side effects and some of the health problems that can result from taking steroids and I-I just don't want her to take those at all. I don't want her exposed to them at all. And then, uh, let me just go ahead and lay this out right now. Uh, because I'm sure it'll come up, but I-I do smoke. But I make sure that I do not smoke around her so that I make sure that it does not affect her. So- sustain talk_type +2238 AnnoMi-client_78_13.mp4 -I just want to let you know that right off. neutral talk_type +2239 AnnoMi-client_78_15.mp4 Mm-hmm. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2240 AnnoMi-client_78_17.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2241 AnnoMi-client_78_19.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2242 AnnoMi-client_78_21.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2243 AnnoMi-client_78_23.mp4 Well, I-I guess I didn't realize that they weren't the same thing as the anabolic steroids. neutral talk_type +2244 AnnoMi-client_78_25.mp4 Which are the ones that cause all the problems and everything. So, um, if-if you can assure me that it's not going to have those same side effects and health problems- change talk_type +2245 AnnoMi-client_78_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2246 AnnoMi-client_78_29.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2247 AnnoMi-client_78_31.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2248 AnnoMi-client_78_33.mp4 Oh, okay. neutral talk_type +2249 AnnoMi-client_78_35.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2250 AnnoMi-client_78_37.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2251 AnnoMi-client_78_39.mp4 Oh, even when it's just on my clothes? neutral talk_type +2252 AnnoMi-client_78_41.mp4 She's that sensitive. If I realized that— neutral talk_type +2253 AnnoMi-client_78_43.mp4 Right. Um, so would it help, um-- You know, the thought of quitting smoking is a pretty daunting aspect. sustain talk_type +2254 AnnoMi-client_78_45.mp4 I mean, I know people who've tried to quit and it's-it's just it's- it's really difficult, you know. So I know, it'd be better— sustain talk_type +2255 AnnoMi-client_78_47.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2256 AnnoMi-client_78_49.mp4 Yeah, it is. Um. sustain talk_type +2257 AnnoMi-client_78_51.mp4 Well, I was thinking, um, if since it, you know, it affects her that it's on my clothes, if I only smoked while she was at school, and then changed my clothes before she came home. Would that help? change talk_type +2258 AnnoMi-client_78_53.mp4 Oh, absolutely. I never. Never. change talk_type +2259 AnnoMi-client_78_55.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2260 AnnoMi-client_78_57.mp4 Yeah. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +2261 AnnoMi-client_78_59.mp4 It's really difficult. sustain talk_type +2262 AnnoMi-client_78_61.mp4 Mm-hmm. change talk_type +2263 AnnoMi-client_78_63.mp4 Oh, really? neutral talk_type +2264 AnnoMi-client_78_65.mp4 Oh, that's great- change talk_type +2265 AnnoMi-client_78_67.mp4 -because that's always scary when she has to use that one. change talk_type +2266 AnnoMi-client_78_69.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2267 AnnoMi-client_78_71.mp4 Okay. change talk_type +2268 AnnoMi-client_78_73.mp4 That sounds good. Thank you. change talk_type +2269 AnnoMi-client_79_0.mp4 Something clicked, I'd had a bunch to drink and, uh, and I knew I'd messed up. I totally messed up. neutral talk_type +2270 AnnoMi-client_79_2.mp4 Because I was- because I was right there, man. I was right there in the same place when I'd come home and I'd pop a couple of those pills, it was the same deal, like and I wanted to stay there. I wanted to stay exactly right there. And I just felt like I'd ruined everything. You know, Erin's using the phone now, and he called me the next day and it was, uh, great, but I kinda felt ashamed of myself, and I don't want to feel that way again. change talk_type +2271 AnnoMi-client_79_4.mp4 Because of what-- Yeah, I guess, I think that's what I mean, yeah, yeah. Because you know, I mean- I mean I could have stayed, I could have got, I could have got absolutely hammered and I could have done it every night for the rest of the week. change talk_type +2272 AnnoMi-client_79_6.mp4 But I don't know if I stopped because I knew I had to stop or because, you know, it was like right there, that's where I wanted to stay, you know? Anyway, I just, uh-- [crosstalk]. change talk_type +2273 AnnoMi-client_79_8.mp4 They're better, yeah. change talk_type +2274 AnnoMi-client_79_10.mp4 Yeah, yeah. change talk_type +2275 AnnoMi-client_80_1.mp4 Hello, doctor. neutral talk_type +2276 AnnoMi-client_80_3.mp4 Well, I did what we discussed. I did the journal- change talk_type +2277 AnnoMi-client_80_5.mp4 -for a week, uh, trying to mark down the-the difference in my smoking, being more aware when I had the urge, if I could stop the urge- change talk_type +2278 AnnoMi-client_80_7.mp4 -and I found it was okay. It got a little bit scary on the weekend because, uh, uh, the urge has kept on coming- change talk_type +2279 AnnoMi-client_80_9.mp4 -to have a cigarette. neutral talk_type +2280 AnnoMi-client_80_11.mp4 But during the week, I was able to cut down at least two or three cigarettes a week, and that's just in one week. So- change talk_type +2281 AnnoMi-client_80_13.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +2282 AnnoMi-client_80_15.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +2283 AnnoMi-client_80_17.mp4 It just seemed to get worse when it was the weekend- neutral talk_type +2284 AnnoMi-client_80_19.mp4 -and I was going out with friends and I was home a lot of the day- neutral talk_type +2285 AnnoMi-client_80_21.mp4 -instead of at work. And I found that, um, it was really hard to stop those urges. neutral talk_type +2286 AnnoMi-client_80_23.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2287 AnnoMi-client_80_25.mp4 But I marked it in the book. Uh, that's one thing I said to myself, I'll be honest in my marking down. change talk_type +2288 AnnoMi-client_80_27.mp4 So, I'm gonna have to really be aware of the weekends. Maybe get some kind of hobby or-or join some group or something on the weekends to keep me busy. change talk_type +2289 AnnoMi-client_80_29.mp4 If I can just postpone it- change talk_type +2290 AnnoMi-client_80_31.mp4 "-and-and say, ""Okay, I'm not gonna have it at home- " change talk_type +2291 AnnoMi-client_80_33.mp4 "-I'll have it when I get to work or on the way to work."" " change talk_type +2292 AnnoMi-client_80_35.mp4 'Cause I-I-I- neutral talk_type +2293 AnnoMi-client_80_37.mp4 And then, uh-uh, what I'd like to do is try not to smoke in my house. change talk_type +2294 AnnoMi-client_80_39.mp4 I think I'd just like to do what I did this first week. I liked the idea of marking it down. change talk_type +2295 AnnoMi-client_80_41.mp4 I-- And it took me a week and I'm down two cigarettes a day, I-I figure. change talk_type +2296 AnnoMi-client_80_43.mp4 What I'd like to do is maybe go down to five cigarettes, in other words, another three a day. change talk_type +2297 AnnoMi-client_80_45.mp4 And, um, 'cause I smoke a large pack and small pack, maybe just two small packs. change talk_type +2298 AnnoMi-client_80_47.mp4 Yes. change talk_type +2299 AnnoMi-client_80_49.mp4 I can try each day to count. change talk_type +2300 AnnoMi-client_80_51.mp4 And I'm still gonna try that when I get the urge to let it go, fight it, and maybe not go out for a cigarette until the next urge comes. change talk_type +2301 AnnoMi-client_80_53.mp4 So, if I [unintelligible 00:02:59] between two of them- change talk_type +2302 AnnoMi-client_80_55.mp4 -and also coming back and-and talking to you really helps 'cause I have someone to- change talk_type +2303 AnnoMi-client_80_57.mp4 -discuss it with. change talk_type +2304 AnnoMi-client_80_59.mp4 I wouldn't mind coming back in a week again because this is all new and-and a week, I can handle a week. change talk_type +2305 AnnoMi-client_80_61.mp4 Okay, thank you doctor. neutral talk_type +2306 AnnoMi-client_80_63.mp4 Yes, thank you. neutral talk_type +2307 AnnoMi-client_81_3.mp4 Okay. I guess I've been getting bigger. neutral talk_type +2308 AnnoMi-client_81_5.mp4 Uh, scary I guess. sustain talk_type +2309 AnnoMi-client_81_7.mp4 Yeah. I-I know there's something in there, I just don't know much about him. neutral talk_type +2310 AnnoMi-client_81_9.mp4 I know you want me to see the doctor, I haven't called yet. sustain talk_type +2311 AnnoMi-client_81_11.mp4 I don't know. It seems overwhelming to me. sustain talk_type +2312 AnnoMi-client_81_13.mp4 Well, I hate making phone calls and I know I need to fill out all this paperwork. I don't know how to get there and I hate needles. sustain talk_type +2313 AnnoMi-client_81_15.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2314 AnnoMi-client_81_17.mp4 Can you help me make the call? change talk_type +2315 AnnoMi-client_81_19.mp4 Can you go with me to the appointment. change talk_type +2316 AnnoMi-client_82_1.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +2317 AnnoMi-client_82_3.mp4 I would say an eight. neutral talk_type +2318 AnnoMi-client_82_5.mp4 I would say a four. neutral talk_type +2319 AnnoMi-client_82_7.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2320 AnnoMi-client_82_9.mp4 Um, I think it's because you've told me I'm at risk and I have alcoholism in my family and I really don't want to go down that path. So I'm-I'm confident that I can change that at this point. change talk_type +2321 AnnoMi-client_82_11.mp4 Um, well, I have a group of friends that doesn't drink that I hang out with. And I think when I hang out with them, it's not an issue. So that also helps me. change talk_type +2322 AnnoMi-client_82_13.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +2323 AnnoMi-client_82_15.mp4 Nope. neutral talk_type +2324 AnnoMi-client_82_17.mp4 I would say an eight. neutral talk_type +2325 AnnoMi-client_82_19.mp4 Every time,- neutral talk_type +2326 AnnoMi-client_82_21.mp4 -probably a six. neutral talk_type +2327 AnnoMi-client_82_23.mp4 Probably a six. neutral talk_type +2328 AnnoMi-client_82_25.mp4 Um, I'm a six because I think if I drink less, I'll be more reliable with using birth control. I tend to not use it when I'm-- I drank too much and I don't really care too much. change talk_type +2329 AnnoMi-client_82_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2330 AnnoMi-client_82_29.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2331 AnnoMi-client_82_31.mp4 Before I leave? neutral talk_type +2332 AnnoMi-client_82_33.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2333 AnnoMi-client_82_35.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2334 AnnoMi-client_83_1.mp4 Kia ora. neutral talk_type +2335 AnnoMi-client_83_3.mp4 Yup. That's right. neutral talk_type +2336 AnnoMi-client_83_5.mp4 I'm from down south. neutral talk_type +2337 AnnoMi-client_83_7.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2338 AnnoMi-client_83_9.mp4 Yes sir. I'm from Invercargill just short of Bluff. All my family is still down there. neutral talk_type +2339 AnnoMi-client_83_11.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2340 AnnoMi-client_83_13.mp4 Mm-hmm. Country boy. neutral talk_type +2341 AnnoMi-client_83_15.mp4 I've been up here since I was 18. neutral talk_type +2342 AnnoMi-client_83_17.mp4 Just a little while. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2343 AnnoMi-client_83_19.mp4 Uh, just my own. neutral talk_type +2344 AnnoMi-client_83_21.mp4 Um, I was thinking about what you might ask me, what I would say. I'm thinking about my kids, thinking about having to take a day off work. neutral talk_type +2345 AnnoMi-client_83_23.mp4 It's a bit of a bitch. neutral talk_type +2346 AnnoMi-client_83_25.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2347 AnnoMi-client_83_27.mp4 Uh, it's been okay. Um, it hasn't been bad. neutral talk_type +2348 AnnoMi-client_83_29.mp4 I don't know. Kind of nothing, really. neutral talk_type +2349 AnnoMi-client_83_31.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2350 AnnoMi-client_83_33.mp4 Um, I hope that it says that I want to, um, make some changes. change talk_type +2351 AnnoMi-client_83_35.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2352 AnnoMi-client_83_37.mp4 Yeah. And I still had to walk through those doors so- neutral talk_type +2353 AnnoMi-client_83_39.mp4 -but, um, I just think about my kids, you know. change talk_type +2354 AnnoMi-client_83_41.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2355 AnnoMi-client_83_43.mp4 No. No, I don't. I see them, um, once a fortnight. neutral talk_type +2356 AnnoMi-client_83_45.mp4 It sucks. neutral talk_type +2357 AnnoMi-client_83_47.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2358 AnnoMi-client_83_49.mp4 I just-- I'd love to be able to see them whenever I can, whenever I wanted to. neutral talk_type +2359 AnnoMi-client_83_51.mp4 You know. I, um, they're my whole world and-and I've fucked things up. change talk_type +2360 AnnoMi-client_83_53.mp4 So, you know. neutral talk_type +2361 AnnoMi-client_83_55.mp4 It's really important. change talk_type +2362 AnnoMi-client_83_57.mp4 It's, uh, um, it's hard because-because I'm, uh, I'm not a bad person. I've just done some stupid shit, but I'm not a bad person. sustain talk_type +2363 AnnoMi-client_83_59.mp4 In-in regards to my kids, I'd be100- 100%. change talk_type +2364 AnnoMi-client_83_61.mp4 If it means say, I can have my-- see my kids whenever I- whenever I want. change talk_type +2365 AnnoMi-client_83_63.mp4 Um, I-I-I'd hope that they'd be proud of me. I wouldn't want my kids to see me- to see me here though. But I- But I hope they would be proud of me. change talk_type +2366 AnnoMi-client_83_65.mp4 'Cause I'm-- Yeah. neutral talk_type +2367 AnnoMi-client_83_67.mp4 Um, oh, my mom. neutral talk_type +2368 AnnoMi-client_83_69.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2369 AnnoMi-client_83_71.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +2370 AnnoMi-client_83_73.mp4 Yeah, I am. change talk_type +2371 AnnoMi-client_83_75.mp4 I just, um, I don't- don't know where to s-- where to start. I don't know. sustain talk_type +2372 AnnoMi-client_83_77.mp4 Yeah, I hope so. I-- So I would genuinely want to, I genuinely want to do something to help myself. I don't deliberately fuck things up for myself. change talk_type +2373 AnnoMi-client_83_79.mp4 No, this is important to me. change talk_type +2374 AnnoMi-client_83_81.mp4 I have, um, I've-- it's important to me. change talk_type +2375 AnnoMi-client_83_83.mp4 I, um, I'm separated at the moment from my missus and- neutral talk_type +2376 AnnoMi-client_83_85.mp4 Uh, Kirsty. neutral talk_type +2377 AnnoMi-client_83_87.mp4 I would- I would love f-f-for her to know that I'm doing this and for her to know that I mean it, but, um, I know she wouldn't give a shit right now actually. change talk_type +2378 AnnoMi-client_83_89.mp4 Uh, yeah, I don't know. Maybe, but I don't know if I want them to know though. neutral talk_type +2379 AnnoMi-client_83_91.mp4 Uh, I don't know. neutral talk_type +2380 AnnoMi-client_83_93.mp4 I'm pretty much by myself up here. neutral talk_type +2381 AnnoMi-client_83_95.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2382 AnnoMi-client_83_97.mp4 Um, I don't know. I don't, um, have that many people- neutral talk_type +2383 AnnoMi-client_83_99.mp4 -that I am-- I don't have that many people I trust to support me. My mates, I love them but, um, yeah, I don't know. neutral talk_type +2384 AnnoMi-client_83_101.mp4 Yeah, let's give it some thought. change talk_type +2385 AnnoMi-client_83_103.mp4 Yeah. That'll definitely be true. neutral talk_type +2386 AnnoMi-client_83_105.mp4 Uh, I have a good relationship with my mum,- neutral talk_type +2387 AnnoMi-client_83_107.mp4 -with my brothers and sisters. neutral talk_type +2388 AnnoMi-client_83_109.mp4 My mum is actually pretty important to me. neutral talk_type +2389 AnnoMi-client_83_111.mp4 I think she'd be proud of me. change talk_type +2390 AnnoMi-client_83_113.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2391 AnnoMi-client_83_115.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. A good, uh, good family. neutral talk_type +2392 AnnoMi-client_83_117.mp4 Um, I don't know. Um, have some-somebody just to listen. change talk_type +2393 AnnoMi-client_83_119.mp4 She would- she would tell me that she loves me. She would tell me that she believes that I could do it. change talk_type +2394 AnnoMi-client_83_121.mp4 For them to have a father they can look up to. change talk_type +2395 AnnoMi-client_83_123.mp4 It is what I want. Definitely. change talk_type +2396 AnnoMi-client_83_125.mp4 If I had their support of my-my family and [silence] I want to say that would be higher. I just know I fucked it up in the past. If they were there to support me now, then I’d be 99% sure. change talk_type +2397 AnnoMi-client_83_127.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +2398 AnnoMi-client_84_1.mp4 Yeah, I'm all right. neutral talk_type +2399 AnnoMi-client_84_3.mp4 Just caught the bus. neutral talk_type +2400 AnnoMi-client_84_5.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2401 AnnoMi-client_84_7.mp4 Just a waste of my time. neutral talk_type +2402 AnnoMi-client_84_9.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2403 AnnoMi-client_84_11.mp4 Last time didn't really work out that well. neutral talk_type +2404 AnnoMi-client_84_13.mp4 Nothing really helped me. neutral talk_type +2405 AnnoMi-client_84_15.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2406 AnnoMi-client_84_17.mp4 Yeah, I'd say so. neutral talk_type +2407 AnnoMi-client_84_19.mp4 She didn't really listen to me, just told me what to do. She just bossed me around. neutral talk_type +2408 AnnoMi-client_84_21.mp4 Yeah, yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +2409 AnnoMi-client_84_23.mp4 Yeah, she didn't really care. neutral talk_type +2410 AnnoMi-client_84_25.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2411 AnnoMi-client_84_27.mp4 I-I don't care that you're a woman. It's just- it's that you don't know what it's like to be me. neutral talk_type +2412 AnnoMi-client_84_29.mp4 You have a different upbringing and live in a different place of town. Just- neutral talk_type +2413 AnnoMi-client_84_31.mp4 -you wouldn't understand. neutral talk_type +2414 AnnoMi-client_84_33.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2415 AnnoMi-client_84_35.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2416 AnnoMi-client_84_37.mp4 Yeah, so it is. neutral talk_type +2417 AnnoMi-client_84_39.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2418 AnnoMi-client_84_41.mp4 Well, not too high. It's not like I'm out killing people or anything. It's just- sustain talk_type +2419 AnnoMi-client_84_43.mp4 -silly stuff. sustain talk_type +2420 AnnoMi-client_84_45.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2421 AnnoMi-client_84_47.mp4 Mm, lots. When I stop getting caught. Don't wanna be back here again. change talk_type +2422 AnnoMi-client_84_49.mp4 No. change talk_type +2423 AnnoMi-client_84_51.mp4 No, sorry. change talk_type +2424 AnnoMi-client_84_53.mp4 Mm, like what out of a scale it would like fall? neutral talk_type +2425 AnnoMi-client_84_55.mp4 Mmh, 25. neutral talk_type +2426 AnnoMi-client_84_57.mp4 Mmh. neutral talk_type +2427 AnnoMi-client_84_59.mp4 Mmh. neutral talk_type +2428 AnnoMi-client_84_61.mp4 Maybe but, mm, yeah, I wanna stop getting into trouble. change talk_type +2429 AnnoMi-client_84_63.mp4 Yeah, but I don't think what I'm doing is that bad. sustain talk_type +2430 AnnoMi-client_84_65.mp4 Just unlucky. sustain talk_type +2431 AnnoMi-client_84_67.mp4 Yeah, the cops just have it out for me. sustain talk_type +2432 AnnoMi-client_84_69.mp4 Just 'cause growing up dealing with them and my mates and stuff and there's, you know, guilty before charged or whatever. sustain talk_type +2433 AnnoMi-client_84_71.mp4 Yeah, me and my mates always get singled out. sustain talk_type +2434 AnnoMi-client_84_73.mp4 Yeah. sustain talk_type +2435 AnnoMi-client_84_75.mp4 Just jacking cars and just stealing just, like, stuff and smokes and got done for that. neutral talk_type +2436 AnnoMi-client_84_77.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2437 AnnoMi-client_84_79.mp4 Yeah, well, I- neutral talk_type +2438 AnnoMi-client_84_81.mp4 -wanna stop getting in trouble. Don't wanna- change talk_type +2439 AnnoMi-client_84_83.mp4 -end up in prison for the rest of my life for doing stupid little things. change talk_type +2440 AnnoMi-client_84_85.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +2441 AnnoMi-client_84_87.mp4 Get some income, some good cash or something. change talk_type +2442 AnnoMi-client_84_89.mp4 A nice job. neutral talk_type +2443 AnnoMi-client_84_91.mp4 A good-- yeah. neutral talk_type +2444 AnnoMi-client_84_93.mp4 Pretty confident if I had a good job but otherwise, probably have to keep stealing stuff, I don't know. neutral talk_type +2445 AnnoMi-client_84_95.mp4 So it depends. neutral talk_type +2446 AnnoMi-client_84_97.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2447 AnnoMi-client_84_99.mp4 Yeah, yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +2448 AnnoMi-client_84_101.mp4 Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause it's just small stuff that, you know, just 'cause I don't have any cash. change talk_type +2449 AnnoMi-client_84_103.mp4 Yeah. sustain talk_type +2450 AnnoMi-client_84_105.mp4 Yeah, just stupid little shit, yeah. neutral talk_type +2451 AnnoMi-client_84_107.mp4 Yeah. sustain talk_type +2452 AnnoMi-client_84_109.mp4 Yeah, no. That's- neutral talk_type +2453 AnnoMi-client_84_111.mp4 -not an excuse but, yeah, I'll probably keep doing it. Just try not to get caught. neutral talk_type +2454 AnnoMi-client_84_113.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, I just get bored and stuff. sustain talk_type +2455 AnnoMi-client_84_115.mp4 Yeah, I get bored real easy. sustain talk_type +2456 AnnoMi-client_84_117.mp4 I don't know. I got a short attention span or something. neutral talk_type +2457 AnnoMi-client_84_119.mp4 Uh, just can't sit around home all day. I'd wanna go out and do something exciting. neutral talk_type +2458 AnnoMi-client_84_121.mp4 Mmh. neutral talk_type +2459 AnnoMi-client_84_123.mp4 Just talking about something I like. Like talking about cars is all good. neutral talk_type +2460 AnnoMi-client_84_125.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2461 AnnoMi-client_84_127.mp4 I probably just wouldn't listen. neutral talk_type +2462 AnnoMi-client_84_129.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2463 AnnoMi-client_84_131.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2464 AnnoMi-client_84_133.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2465 AnnoMi-client_84_135.mp4 Well, not too bad. Yeah, getting out of trouble. change talk_type +2466 AnnoMi-client_84_137.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2467 AnnoMi-client_84_139.mp4 Ah, I got a lift from Donna. She's- neutral talk_type +2468 AnnoMi-client_84_141.mp4 Like she's my new girlfriend. neutral talk_type +2469 AnnoMi-client_84_143.mp4 Ah, just met her a few weeks ago and she's just, uh, real cool. She's really nice. Yeah, get along with her really well. neutral talk_type +2470 AnnoMi-client_84_145.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2471 AnnoMi-client_84_147.mp4 Donna is easy to talk to unlike other girls that I don't really get along with. Uh, she's like and a good friend too so- neutral talk_type +2472 AnnoMi-client_84_149.mp4 Yeah. I can hang out with her and stuff and she gets all my mates and stuff. So it's all good. neutral talk_type +2473 AnnoMi-client_84_151.mp4 Yeah, and I'm lucky. neutral talk_type +2474 AnnoMi-client_84_153.mp4 She's just a really nice girl. neutral talk_type +2475 AnnoMi-client_84_155.mp4 Yeah, it's good of her. neutral talk_type +2476 AnnoMi-client_84_157.mp4 She thinks it's good. Yeah. Uh, she doesn't want to get in trouble and stuff. neutral talk_type +2477 AnnoMi-client_84_159.mp4 Yeah, I was just getting busy with her and stuff. So it's all good. change talk_type +2478 AnnoMi-client_84_161.mp4 Just, uh, just hanging out. Just watching movies and stuff just, I don't know, gives me something to do. change talk_type +2479 AnnoMi-client_84_163.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2480 AnnoMi-client_84_165.mp4 It's, yeah, just chilling with her. It's good. neutral talk_type +2481 AnnoMi-client_84_167.mp4 Yeah mostly, yeah. change talk_type +2482 AnnoMi-client_84_169.mp4 Uh, you know, [chuckles] mostly. neutral talk_type +2483 AnnoMi-client_84_171.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2484 AnnoMi-client_84_173.mp4 Oh no, just stupid stuff. Just when she like-- she has to go to work and stuff, so I have to keep myself busy. sustain talk_type +2485 AnnoMi-client_84_175.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2486 AnnoMi-client_84_177.mp4 She just works the whole day just typing numbers and stuff. neutral talk_type +2487 AnnoMi-client_84_179.mp4 Yeah. She actually goes there four days a week though. neutral talk_type +2488 AnnoMi-client_84_181.mp4 So we get to chill on Friday. neutral talk_type +2489 AnnoMi-client_84_183.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2490 AnnoMi-client_84_185.mp4 Well, uh, sleeping and then, I don't know, catch up my mates if they're not doing anything and just get up to mischief with them. neutral talk_type +2491 AnnoMi-client_84_187.mp4 It's, uh, [unintelligible 00:13:34] for the cars out there, [unintelligible 00:13:36] no not-not normally. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2492 AnnoMi-client_84_189.mp4 Yeah, I'm being careful though so- neutral talk_type +2493 AnnoMi-client_84_191.mp4 But what do you mean? neutral talk_type +2494 AnnoMi-client_84_193.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +2495 AnnoMi-client_84_195.mp4 No, not really. neutral talk_type +2496 AnnoMi-client_84_197.mp4 She'd tell me off. neutral talk_type +2497 AnnoMi-client_84_199.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2498 AnnoMi-client_84_201.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2499 AnnoMi-client_84_203.mp4 Uh, okay, she wants me to be happy, I don't know. Me to get a job or something. So, get a nice car we could cruise around in it. neutral talk_type +2500 AnnoMi-client_84_205.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2501 AnnoMi-client_84_207.mp4 Just be able to buy her stuff. Nice car, nice house. neutral talk_type +2502 AnnoMi-client_84_209.mp4 Just and it'd be good just me, her and just be able to provide for her would be cool. neutral talk_type +2503 AnnoMi-client_84_211.mp4 Just settle down and maybe have some kids or something, family life. neutral talk_type +2504 AnnoMi-client_84_213.mp4 Yeah. It'd be cool. neutral talk_type +2505 AnnoMi-client_84_215.mp4 Yeah, I know she'd be a good mum, yeah. So— neutral talk_type +2506 AnnoMi-client_84_217.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2507 AnnoMi-client_84_219.mp4 I'd be all right. neutral talk_type +2508 AnnoMi-client_84_221.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2509 AnnoMi-client_84_223.mp4 Uh, I wouldn't boss them around. neutral talk_type +2510 AnnoMi-client_84_225.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +2511 AnnoMi-client_84_227.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2512 AnnoMi-client_84_229.mp4 I don't know. It's just like-- My dad was really strict on me when I was little, and I don't want to be like that. neutral talk_type +2513 AnnoMi-client_84_231.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2514 AnnoMi-client_84_233.mp4 Mm. neutral talk_type +2515 AnnoMi-client_85_1.mp4 Well, I'm glad I don't have any of that.[laughter] neutral talk_type +2516 AnnoMi-client_85_3.mp4 Thank you. neutral talk_type +2517 AnnoMi-client_85_5.mp4 Yeah, okay. neutral talk_type +2518 AnnoMi-client_85_7.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2519 AnnoMi-client_85_9.mp4 Well, you were asking me why I don't like to take my medicine. neutral talk_type +2520 AnnoMi-client_85_11.mp4 I like to call it mild schizophrenia. neutral talk_type +2521 AnnoMi-client_85_13.mp4 And-and-and, uh— neutral talk_type +2522 AnnoMi-client_85_15.mp4 Yeah, just a little schizophrenia. I'm-I'm-- But, I'm okay with it, and so am I. neutral talk_type +2523 AnnoMi-client_85_17.mp4 Oh, that makes me f-- Yeah, that makes me feel- sustain talk_type +2524 AnnoMi-client_85_19.mp4 -relaxed. sustain talk_type +2525 AnnoMi-client_85_21.mp4 I need that. sustain talk_type +2526 AnnoMi-client_85_23.mp4 Um- neutral talk_type +2527 AnnoMi-client_85_25.mp4 -I gotta be relaxed, you know- sustain talk_type +2528 AnnoMi-client_85_27.mp4 -if-if you had, you know- if you had to ride around in the back of a garbage truck all day like I do- sustain talk_type +2529 AnnoMi-client_85_29.mp4 -uh, it's, uh- it's stressful, you know. [clears throat] But, the doctor- you know, the other doctor put me on this medicine and-and I gotta take it every day. And, I-I don't like it. Uh, I'll just be honest with you, I don't like it. sustain talk_type +2530 AnnoMi-client_85_31.mp4 It doesn't-- I don't like the way it makes you feel, um, I don't like the way it makes me act, and it's taken my sex drive, and just thrown it at the back of the garbage truck. sustain talk_type +2531 AnnoMi-client_85_33.mp4 It is. neutral talk_type +2532 AnnoMi-client_85_35.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +2533 AnnoMi-client_85_37.mp4 Well, i-it's kinda like I'm in kind of a dreamy world. I-it kind of, I don't know, i-it just seems like I'm kinda like living in the middle of a cotton ball or something like that, where just things are kinda soft and, I don't know, I-- It just, the-the spice of life doesn't seem to be there. It seems like everything's bland, and nothing really-- Food doesn't taste the same, and things don't smell right, and— sustain talk_type +2534 AnnoMi-client_85_39.mp4 Very dull. sustain talk_type +2535 AnnoMi-client_85_41.mp4 Very dull. sustain talk_type +2536 AnnoMi-client_85_43.mp4 That's a good way to sum it up. And it's-- Well, you understand it, uh, it's just- it's not good. sustain talk_type +2537 AnnoMi-client_85_45.mp4 Well, I feel like it's taken part of my personality and just thrown it away. I don't really feel like I'm all there, right. You know, like, um, I like to be spontaneous and funny, and-and all that night, and I- and I don't-- You know, by the time I come up with a-a funny remark to the situation, everybody's left the room, and-[laughter]-stuff like that. And-and-- [chuckles] sustain talk_type +2538 AnnoMi-client_85_47.mp4 Absolutely. neutral talk_type +2539 AnnoMi-client_85_49.mp4 And so, as you can can tell, I didn't take my medication today, I'm-I'm-I'm really on my game today. So. sustain talk_type +2540 AnnoMi-client_85_51.mp4 More like takes the edge off- neutral talk_type +2541 AnnoMi-client_85_53.mp4 -for sure. neutral talk_type +2542 AnnoMi-client_85_55.mp4 Well, you understand that. neutral talk_type +2543 AnnoMi-client_85_57.mp4 You-you can- you can understand why I don't take it. neutral talk_type +2544 AnnoMi-client_85_59.mp4 Right-right. neutral talk_type +2545 AnnoMi-client_85_61.mp4 Well, she wants to know who I am and what did I do with her husband. sustain talk_type +2546 AnnoMi-client_85_63.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2547 AnnoMi-client_85_65.mp4 Yeah. And, uh- and so, she-- Actually, she-- When I first went on the medicine, she thought I was maybe messing around with somebody else, 'cause, I-I just wasn't interested in it at all. neutral talk_type +2548 AnnoMi-client_85_67.mp4 I canceled my subscription to the spice channel. neutral talk_type +2549 AnnoMi-client_85_69.mp4 I don't know if they still have it or not. [chuckles] neutral talk_type +2550 AnnoMi-client_85_71.mp4 Well, if I stay off the medication too long, I-- Some people might say there's a problem with that, you know. change talk_type +2551 AnnoMi-client_85_73.mp4 Well, I guess running around the neighborhood with no clothes on isn't really good. change talk_type +2552 AnnoMi-client_85_75.mp4 Um, I thought I had a, uh— neutral talk_type +2553 AnnoMi-client_85_77.mp4 Yeah, well, I thought I had my gym shorts on, but they said that I didn't. neutral talk_type +2554 AnnoMi-client_85_79.mp4 Well, I-I ended up in the hospital. neutral talk_type +2555 AnnoMi-client_85_81.mp4 Don't like that hospital. change talk_type +2556 AnnoMi-client_85_83.mp4 Uh. [clears throat] I'm not sure that the hospital is worse than the cotton ball, but I don't like it either. neutral talk_type +2557 AnnoMi-client_85_85.mp4 Well, I got a question for you. You're a doctor, why don't you guys come up with some- something else besides either being in the hospital or taking this stuff every day, can you come up with something? I mean, you guys, we put a man on the moon 50 years ago, I mean, and you still got to give me this stuff that makes me feel like a-a zombie with-- That hasn't had a drink or water in four days, it-it just doesn't seem right. Either you guys ought to come up with something better. That's what I think. sustain talk_type +2558 AnnoMi-client_85_87.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2559 AnnoMi-client_85_89.mp4 I suppose. neutral talk_type +2560 AnnoMi-client_85_91.mp4 Well. Yeah. Well, yeah, I-I'd like to. I don't know, is it-- Can you- can you drink with them, some of these other ones? change talk_type +2561 AnnoMi-client_85_93.mp4 Well, I don't really drink like people-- Like some alcoholic or something but, I do— sustain talk_type +2562 AnnoMi-client_85_95.mp4 I-I like to take the edge off- sustain talk_type +2563 AnnoMi-client_85_97.mp4 You know, with a few drinks, you know, not-not a lot, you know, and-and really- sustain talk_type +2564 AnnoMi-client_85_99.mp4 Not every day. neutral talk_type +2565 AnnoMi-client_85_101.mp4 Maybe. neutral talk_type +2566 AnnoMi-client_85_103.mp4 Maybe not, uh- neutral talk_type +2567 AnnoMi-client_85_105.mp4 You know, it's not all the time, it's-it's not- it's not a problem. sustain talk_type +2568 AnnoMi-client_85_107.mp4 Certainly not a problem. sustain talk_type +2569 AnnoMi-client_85_109.mp4 Well, if I was like getting arrested for drunk driving. neutral talk_type +2570 AnnoMi-client_85_111.mp4 Well, that's what alcoholics do. I'm not an alcoholic. sustain talk_type +2571 AnnoMi-client_85_113.mp4 Um, I'm just- yeah I just like to have a few drinks. I mean, you know, obviously, I-I have, uh, this diagnosed condition, and-and I think, you know, if I were able to, you know, maybe take a few hits off of the joint and have a couple of beers, I think that's about the same as taking the medicine. sustain talk_type +2572 AnnoMi-client_85_115.mp4 Yeah, I-I-I got to be careful with it. If I take more than a hit or two of it, it-it-it can be a bit of a problem. change talk_type +2573 AnnoMi-client_85_117.mp4 I get edgy. change talk_type +2574 AnnoMi-client_85_119.mp4 I-I-I get edgy. change talk_type +2575 AnnoMi-client_85_121.mp4 No-no. I'd-I'd like to just be normal as well. I'd real-- I'd like to just be normal where I don't have to take medicine, and I don't end up in the hospital three times a year, and I don't find myself in the neighbor's yard— change talk_type +2576 AnnoMi-client_85_123.mp4 With a statue. It's— neutral talk_type +2577 AnnoMi-client_85_125.mp4 They were really ticked about that statue thing this time, and I don't know why I keep going back over there, but— neutral talk_type +2578 AnnoMi-client_85_127.mp4 I really don't, but, apparently, when I'm in that state, uh, there's something about it, I'm not sure. neutral talk_type +2579 AnnoMi-client_85_129.mp4 Well, maybe. I-I-I guess that's possible. change talk_type +2580 AnnoMi-client_86_0.mp4 I just feel helpless about this whole deal. neutral talk_type +2581 AnnoMi-client_86_2.mp4 Mm. I just feel helpless about this whole deal. neutral talk_type +2582 AnnoMi-client_86_4.mp4 No one wants to help me. neutral talk_type +2583 AnnoMi-client_86_6.mp4 No one wants to help me. neutral talk_type +2584 AnnoMi-client_86_8.mp4 Mm-hmm. I really shouldn't have done it. neutral talk_type +2585 AnnoMi-client_86_10.mp4 Mm-hmm. I really shouldn't have done it. neutral talk_type +2586 AnnoMi-client_86_12.mp4 Mm-hmm. I couldn't help myself. neutral talk_type +2587 AnnoMi-client_86_14.mp4 I couldn't help myself. neutral talk_type +2588 AnnoMi-client_86_16.mp4 It's actually been a fabulous week. neutral talk_type +2589 AnnoMi-client_86_18.mp4 It's actually been a fabulous week. neutral talk_type +2590 AnnoMi-client_86_20.mp4 Mm-hmm. I know who to hang out with, I'm not stupid. neutral talk_type +2591 AnnoMi-client_86_22.mp4 I know who to hang out with, I'm not stupid. neutral talk_type +2592 AnnoMi-client_86_24.mp4 Mm-hmm. I'm letting the whole family down. They had such high hopes for me. neutral talk_type +2593 AnnoMi-client_86_26.mp4 Mm-hmm. I'm letting my whole family down. They had such high hopes for me. neutral talk_type +2594 AnnoMi-client_86_28.mp4 Mm-hmm. This is not what I want for my life. neutral talk_type +2595 AnnoMi-client_86_30.mp4 This is not what I want for my life. neutral talk_type +2596 AnnoMi-client_86_32.mp4 Mm-hmm. I really want to get off the program. sustain talk_type +2597 AnnoMi-client_86_34.mp4 I really want to get off the program. sustain talk_type +2598 AnnoMi-client_86_36.mp4 Mm-hmm. I still crave smoking, even though I've stopped. sustain talk_type +2599 AnnoMi-client_86_38.mp4 I still crave smoking, even though I've stopped. sustain talk_type +2600 AnnoMi-client_86_40.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2601 AnnoMi-client_87_1.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2602 AnnoMi-client_87_3.mp4 Um, yeah, I, [sigh] that, I mean, like, when I was doing those questionnaires, it was weird because, I mean, I guess I don't really think about, like, you know, the drinking being, like, this huge deal and I don't- neutral talk_type +2603 AnnoMi-client_87_5.mp4 -ever really think about, like-like, how much I drink. neutral talk_type +2604 AnnoMi-client_87_7.mp4 Um, and, like, fi- like filling out, like, how much I'm drinking every day, it was like, whoa, you know- neutral talk_type +2605 AnnoMi-client_87_9.mp4 -like, I just didn't ever really think about it, like, that I was-- like, if I try to actually count the drinks, it's, kind of, a lot, I mean, it's, kind of, a lot. change talk_type +2606 AnnoMi-client_87_11.mp4 Well, yeah, 'cause, like, I also, kind of, thought that, like, I drink, like, about as much as my friends did and then, like, I went back and I was, like, talking to my roommate about it and I was, like, telling her that, you know, I was drinking, like, like 10 drinks on the weekends, like, including Thursday, so like, Thursday, Friday- neutral talk_type +2607 AnnoMi-client_87_13.mp4 -Saturday, Sunday. neutral talk_type +2608 AnnoMi-client_87_15.mp4 "And then she was like, ""Sarah, that's cra-- Like, that is crazy. Why are, you know, like, where are you drinking this?"" And I was- I was like, ""Well, you know, like, different places."" And I-I guess, like, I don't know, my friends didn't, like, know. Anyway, it's, yeah, I don't know. " neutral talk_type +2609 AnnoMi-client_87_17.mp4 Yeah, and yeah, I guess it was just like, I thought that everybody was, like, doing it, you know- change talk_type +2610 AnnoMi-client_87_19.mp4 -but that's not really what was going on. [chuckles] change talk_type +2611 AnnoMi-client_87_21.mp4 Yeah. change talk_type +2612 AnnoMi-client_87_23.mp4 Yeah, so, that was the thing that, like, was really the most weird about doing those- change talk_type +2613 AnnoMi-client_87_25.mp4 -forms. change talk_type +2614 AnnoMi-client_88_0.mp4 For me. neutral talk_type +2615 AnnoMi-client_88_2.mp4 Um, I have to start getting the school on time for my first hour. I always miss that class. change talk_type +2616 AnnoMi-client_88_4.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2617 AnnoMi-client_88_6.mp4 Uh, so people will get off my back. change talk_type +2618 AnnoMi-client_88_8.mp4 My mom she's always saying, you know, get to school. My PO will be like, you know, if you don't get the school on time, I can bring you back in for sanctions and I don't want to go back in. change talk_type +2619 AnnoMi-client_88_10.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2620 AnnoMi-client_88_12.mp4 I will try. change talk_type +2621 AnnoMi-client_88_14.mp4 I can't ever get up in the morning. So that's hard and then by the time I do get up, and then I get ready and get dressed, I miss the bus. So then I usually end up walking or see if I can find a ride. So it could be a bunch of different reasons why I'm late. neutral talk_type +2622 AnnoMi-client_88_16.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +2623 AnnoMi-client_88_18.mp4 Get up on time would probably be a good start of making me get there on time. change talk_type +2624 AnnoMi-client_88_20.mp4 [sighs] If I'm gonna catch the bus I'll probably need to be up by 6:15 and sometimes that's just so hard to do, 'cause I go to bed so late and I don't know if I can do it. sustain talk_type +2625 AnnoMi-client_88_22.mp4 Right. I could try- change talk_type +2626 AnnoMi-client_88_24.mp4 - and see how it goes. neutral talk_type +2627 AnnoMi-client_88_26.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2628 AnnoMi-client_88_28.mp4 I go about midnight now, so if I tried maybe 11:00. I can try 11:00. change talk_type +2629 AnnoMi-client_88_30.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2630 AnnoMi-client_88_32.mp4 Uh, either tomorrow or the next day. neutral talk_type +2631 AnnoMi-client_88_34.mp4 Let's start tomorrow. change talk_type +2632 AnnoMi-client_88_36.mp4 My mom. neutral talk_type +2633 AnnoMi-client_88_38.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2634 AnnoMi-client_88_40.mp4 [sighs] She can after my alarm goes off, if I don't get up, she could come in and wake me up and remind me that I said to you that I'm going to get up so that I have to do it. change talk_type +2635 AnnoMi-client_88_42.mp4 Exactly. Yup. neutral talk_type +2636 AnnoMi-client_88_44.mp4 [sighs] Not going to bed on time. neutral talk_type +2637 AnnoMi-client_88_46.mp4 Yup, that's gonna be a struggle for me. sustain talk_type +2638 AnnoMi-client_88_48.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2639 AnnoMi-client_88_50.mp4 Just go to bed and turn off the lights, don't have my phone. change talk_type +2640 AnnoMi-client_88_52.mp4 Oh, yeah. neutral talk_type +2641 AnnoMi-client_88_54.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2642 AnnoMi-client_88_56.mp4 Have my mom check on me to make sure everything's put away. change talk_type +2643 AnnoMi-client_88_58.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2644 AnnoMi-client_88_60.mp4 When I'm at school on time, when the bell rings and I'm in class. change talk_type +2645 AnnoMi-client_88_62.mp4 Absolutely. neutral talk_type +2646 AnnoMi-client_88_64.mp4 Well, yeah, I hope so. change talk_type +2647 AnnoMi-client_88_66.mp4 I'll give it a try. change talk_type +2648 AnnoMi-client_88_68.mp4 You're welcome. neutral talk_type +2649 AnnoMi-client_91_1.mp4 Good morning, doctor. neutral talk_type +2650 AnnoMi-client_91_3.mp4 Well, doctor, I-I made an appointment with you finally, because I was diagnosed over three months ago with a pulmonary disease, COPD. neutral talk_type +2651 AnnoMi-client_91_5.mp4 And although I didn't call right away. I really need some help in quitting smoking. change talk_type +2652 AnnoMi-client_91_7.mp4 So I thought, well, this is my first step. So, uh, it's time to do something. change talk_type +2653 AnnoMi-client_91_9.mp4 A respirologist. neutral talk_type +2654 AnnoMi-client_91_11.mp4 I'm- I'm really scared, uh, 'cause I don't feel well. neutral talk_type +2655 AnnoMi-client_91_13.mp4 I haven't felt well for a while. I'm getting coughing fits even when I'm on the telephone with customers. change talk_type +2656 AnnoMi-client_91_15.mp4 Mm-hmm. I-I don't know what I'm going to do about it. neutral talk_type +2657 AnnoMi-client_91_17.mp4 I'm giving myself six months, six months and-and, uh, that seems like a long time away, but I have a feeling I'm going to fail at this point in time. I don't even have 50%, uh, faith in myself. sustain talk_type +2658 AnnoMi-client_91_19.mp4 I don't know what to do. I've tried to quit smoking. I've had, uh, I've taken pills, I've taken the patch. neutral talk_type +2659 AnnoMi-client_91_21.mp4 I've gone through therapy. Uh, nothing's helped. I finally- I went to the doctor. I was actually in the hospital. They took me to the hospital for a week. That's the longest I quit. neutral talk_type +2660 AnnoMi-client_91_23.mp4 I had no choice, I had no choice. And then the next day I was back to smoking again what I smoked. sustain talk_type +2661 AnnoMi-client_91_25.mp4 Uh, it's part of my life. It's, uh, I started smoking when I was 13, 14 at home. My parents smoked. All of their friends smoked. It was on television. Everybody looked so grand. sustain talk_type +2662 AnnoMi-client_91_27.mp4 Uh, smoking and all dressed up and-and fancy clothes and maybe having a drink in their hands and having a nice meal, um, I didn't really think about it. It's just an extension of me, I guess. It's-it's good for my nerves. change talk_type +2663 AnnoMi-client_91_29.mp4 "I mean, I feel like it is. I know when I've got that package in my pocket, or I know if there- if I'm going through some stress, I say, ""Oh, well, I'll have a cigarette and think this out."" " sustain talk_type +2664 AnnoMi-client_91_31.mp4 That's right. neutral talk_type +2665 AnnoMi-client_91_33.mp4 Um, I enjoy it. It just- it relaxes me. It's great after a meal, um, for me- sustain talk_type +2666 AnnoMi-client_91_35.mp4 -we all just do it as a little group of people, uh, my family. change talk_type +2667 AnnoMi-client_91_37.mp4 The people I work with, we go out in the courtyard- neutral talk_type +2668 AnnoMi-client_91_39.mp4 -have a cigarette and talk. That's how you make friends. A lot of people, um, we're like a little group now, we're all- a little bunch of us. neutral talk_type +2669 AnnoMi-client_91_41.mp4 I-I never thought of it that way, but probably you're right. neutral talk_type +2670 AnnoMi-client_91_43.mp4 Well, it's bad for my health and it's scaring me 'cause I don't feel well. change talk_type +2671 AnnoMi-client_91_45.mp4 I haven't felt well for a while. I'm getting coughing fits even when I'm on the telephone with customers. change talk_type +2672 AnnoMi-client_91_47.mp4 Um, it's expensive, really got expensive, and I smoked 30, 40, sometimes 50 cigarettes a day. And I'm starting to buy different makeup 'cause I'm starting to really age, starting to get lines in my face and wrinkles and my skin is getting really clogged up and I'm spending a fortune on cosmetics. change talk_type +2673 AnnoMi-client_91_49.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2674 AnnoMi-client_91_51.mp4 It's for me, for my health, and for the money and everything I've said, I would say it's 10 or- out of 10 that I should quit smoking. change talk_type +2675 AnnoMi-client_91_53.mp4 Yes. A hundred percent, one of the most important things. change talk_type +2676 AnnoMi-client_91_55.mp4 Um, I, I'd say 35 or 40% competent. neutral talk_type +2677 AnnoMi-client_91_57.mp4 Yeah. I'd like to say more, but, um- change talk_type +2678 AnnoMi-client_91_59.mp4 Well, I'm- I guess I'm still a fighter, and I-I-I- it's starting to- I'm starting to realize it and I do feel pretty good that I came to see you. I-I- it was a step and a couple of people who care about me actually, uh, gave me a pat on the back that I came to see you. So- change talk_type +2679 AnnoMi-client_91_61.mp4 -this was a big step. So I guess, yes. Um, it wouldn't have been as high maybe last week. change talk_type +2680 AnnoMi-client_91_63.mp4 Maybe if I could come to see you again, or maybe some ideas were suggested, maybe if there was a group or something. I-I don't know, but I-I need some help. change talk_type +2681 AnnoMi-client_91_65.mp4 I-I think so because I feel a little better that I just came to see you today. neutral talk_type +2682 AnnoMi-client_91_67.mp4 Discussing things helps me. I always feel better when I get things out. neutral talk_type +2683 AnnoMi-client_91_69.mp4 In other words, think about it more, don't- don't just do it automatically. neutral talk_type +2684 AnnoMi-client_91_71.mp4 Yeah, yeah. I think so because, um, when I get the urge, I could maybe fight it and, um, maybe wait till the next urge- change talk_type +2685 AnnoMi-client_91_73.mp4 -and maybe mark that down that, uh, I didn't go right away when something went wrong. Um, yes, I-I can try that. change talk_type +2686 AnnoMi-client_91_75.mp4 No, that gives me something to work towards until I see you next week. change talk_type +2687 AnnoMi-client_91_77.mp4 Thank you for seeing me, doctor. neutral talk_type +2688 AnnoMi-client_93_1.mp4 I think the activity piece is the kind of low-hanging fruit that I see. Um, I feel like it's gonna be harder for me to change some of my nutrition habits right out the gate, but if I can get into maybe an activity routine, that that could be good to help maybe some of the other changes happen later. change talk_type +2689 AnnoMi-client_93_3.mp4 Yeah, I think so. neutral talk_type +2690 AnnoMi-client_93_5.mp4 Yeah, I think just to feeling like physically stronger, um, like physically more able. Uh, last night I like struggled with the jar of salsa, like opening it. So I think that just stuff like that, um, you know, would be in addition to mood and being more productive and energy and all that stuff. Um, yeah, that that would be a definite end goal for me too. And then really to like, I think if I am more active, I think my body image or my body confidence would improve also. change talk_type +2691 AnnoMi-client_93_7.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2692 AnnoMi-client_93_9.mp4 Hmm, I'd say I'm about an eight. neutral talk_type +2693 AnnoMi-client_93_11.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2694 AnnoMi-client_93_13.mp4 Well, like I said, I just, I've identified like a lot of things that I think would be good. Um, if I were to be more active and I definitely wanna have that improved mood and energy, um, and feel better about myself. Um, so yeah, all of those things I think are what's really driving that- that rating. change talk_type +2695 AnnoMi-client_93_15.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2696 AnnoMi-client_93_17.mp4 I don't think so. neutral talk_type +2697 AnnoMi-client_93_19.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2698 AnnoMi-client_93_21.mp4 Mm-hmm, yeah. neutral talk_type +2699 AnnoMi-client_93_23.mp4 Yeah, that'd be great. neutral talk_type +2700 AnnoMi-client_94_1.mp4 Um, how about if we talk about, uh, the problem that I'm really having is, um, getting somebody motivated to do something, um, such as move out of my house. neutral talk_type +2701 AnnoMi-client_94_3.mp4 Well, I-I offered my home to somebody and, uh, for, you know, uh, a transitional period. neutral talk_type +2702 AnnoMi-client_94_5.mp4 You know, and it seems that, um, it's hard for me to be assertive and say I think the, um, the, uh, transitional period is- has come and it's beginning to time to transition. So. neutral talk_type +2703 AnnoMi-client_94_7.mp4 Yeah, that's, it's absolutely right that I want, I-I want change but I'm not, I am kind of, like, weak in that area where it's, like, the ability to actually say the words. You're right, yeah. I'd like to be able to do that. change talk_type +2704 AnnoMi-client_94_9.mp4 Um. [sighs] I don't know, I'm-I'm, I guess, I'm kind of, um, I care about the person and, you know, there's a certain amount of comfortability of having somebody with you, you know, and I'm just, so, I guess I am at war with myself because part of me wants the comfort of having a companion and the other part of me is just, you know-- I-I cannot-- I am not really sure what I wanna do, you know. sustain talk_type +2705 AnnoMi-client_94_11.mp4 Yeah, you know, it's kind of, like, the old sock- song saying hit the road Jack, don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more. [laughs] And— change talk_type +2706 AnnoMi-client_94_13.mp4 [laughs] Well, first of all I think he would hit the road if I started singing that song 'cause I can sing. [laughs] neutral talk_type +2707 AnnoMi-client_94_15.mp4 Well, you know, in life you have to have a sense of humor in my- the way I view and otherwise, you know, I'd be like where's the news. [laughs] I mean, it's either— neutral talk_type +2708 AnnoMi-client_94_17.mp4 Yeah, yeah, I have to laugh, I mean, even comedians say, you know, uh, most of-- What I've heard about comedians is that they are really not always that happy and they use that in a comical way to, you know, deal with life, so, yeah. [laughs] I kind of, maybe I should go into that. [laughs] Like this girl— neutral talk_type +2709 AnnoMi-client_94_19.mp4 Yeah, like this girl Ruth that I know she's-she's, uh, got a serious job and she kind of does that on the side. [laughs] neutral talk_type +2710 AnnoMi-client_94_21.mp4 Mm. Let's see. Well, you know, I'm really not sure, I kind of, you know. Um, I'm having a hard time with that. Um. neutral talk_type +2711 AnnoMi-client_94_23.mp4 Mm, well, I have to really think about it because- neutral talk_type +2712 AnnoMi-client_94_25.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Maybe some guilt and I, um, uh, I just, you know, [sighs] I go back and forth a little bit, you know. sustain talk_type +2713 AnnoMi-client_94_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2714 AnnoMi-client_94_29.mp4 Yeah, I-I- yeah. I mean I- thank you. I-I-I appreciate you saying that I'm a good person. Like I feel I am. Um— neutral talk_type +2715 AnnoMi-client_94_31.mp4 Yeah. Oops, it's just hard to- it's just hard to, um, er, yeah. I- my j- my job is done and I have to start to realize that I have to be a little bit more assertive, I think, and a little bit more, um, sure of myself. change talk_type +2716 AnnoMi-client_94_33.mp4 Well, um, I've had co-conversations about with him and sometimes not-not so pleasant, but I'm-I'm just making, you know, 'cause I happen to sometimes just like hold things in. And then finally I- at-at one point I was really, you know, very logical about it. And then the other day I kind of got not so logical about it. neutral talk_type +2717 AnnoMi-client_94_35.mp4 [laughs] neutral talk_type +2718 AnnoMi-client_94_37.mp4 Yeah. That's the good thing that he does. And I mentioned them. I-I-I discussed that with him. neutral talk_type +2719 AnnoMi-client_94_39.mp4 And that gives me a relie- a sense of relief. Like I'm not just, you know, saying yeah. You know, go find your own place or, you know, I mean, there are places where he has a safety net to go to and that-that is something that I think I feel better about and that it makes it easier to discuss and giving them options that he can-- Yeah, yeah, exactly. change talk_type +2720 AnnoMi-client_94_41.mp4 Been there, done that. [laughs] neutral talk_type +2721 AnnoMi-client_94_43.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2722 AnnoMi-client_94_45.mp4 Well, um, I told him within a couple of days is, you know. I think, um, I-I- cause I have future plans, um, and some things that are up in the air with me as far as where I'm going to be living in. I've had this place for seven years, but I'm not sure, you know. Every day is a new- a new, uh, winding road that we go down, you know? neutral talk_type +2723 AnnoMi-client_94_47.mp4 Um. neutral talk_type +2724 AnnoMi-client_94_49.mp4 Oh, God, yeah, yeah. But, you know, and it's scary to have an extra, a huge extra trunk that you have to carry with you [chuckles]. neutral talk_type +2725 AnnoMi-client_94_51.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +2726 AnnoMi-client_94_53.mp4 But I-I mean and it's not that I don't care about him, I do. But you know, it's just like, we're both- we're all adults here, come on. change talk_type +2727 AnnoMi-client_94_55.mp4 Um, that's the goal, you know. change talk_type +2728 AnnoMi-client_94_57.mp4 And I don't know what his plans are, but those are my plans. change talk_type +2729 AnnoMi-client_94_59.mp4 I like your way of thinking, girl. I-I'll tell him that. [laughs]. neutral talk_type +2730 AnnoMi-client_94_61.mp4 Thank you neutral talk_type +2731 AnnoMi-client_95_1.mp4 Um, okay. Just, I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore. I'm-I'm just so stupid. I'm such an idiot. I didn't know what the point of-of this is. I just- I just keep doing the same thing over and over, even though I know it can kill me. I just, I don't have any more willpower, ma'am. Yeah, [foreign language]. sustain talk_type +2732 AnnoMi-client_95_3.mp4 Mm-hmm. sustain talk_type +2733 AnnoMi-client_95_5.mp4 No, it just seems that cutting myself is the only way out. And I just get suicidal thoughts and [foreign language], I'm just very, very like depressed and what's going on at home. sustain talk_type +2734 AnnoMi-client_95_7.mp4 Yeah. sustain talk_type +2735 AnnoMi-client_95_9.mp4 Yes. Sometimes a pain in-in the body. It's, uh, to [unintelligible 00:01:27] handle and-and the pain inside of me. sustain talk_type +2736 AnnoMi-client_95_11.mp4 Yes. I am. sustain talk_type +2737 AnnoMi-client_95_13.mp4 Yeah, yeah, suicide. sustain talk_type +2738 AnnoMi-client_95_15.mp4 [foreign language] neutral talk_type +2739 AnnoMi-client_95_17.mp4 Yeah, 'cause she's a single mom and she struggles a lot. I wanna help her, but I can't help her. So it just makes me sad. I feel like if I don't live anymore, she'll be okay. And she wouldn't have to worry about me or pay my stuff. sustain talk_type +2740 AnnoMi-client_95_19.mp4 Yeah. sustain talk_type +2741 AnnoMi-client_95_21.mp4 I-I think so? neutral talk_type +2742 AnnoMi-client_95_23.mp4 Because it won't be a burden to her. sustain talk_type +2743 AnnoMi-client_95_25.mp4 Because she has to pay for my food and my uniforms, um, to have a roof over our heads. sustain talk_type +2744 AnnoMi-client_95_27.mp4 Um, I try to be a good kid. I tried to go to school. I may not have the best grades, but I'm not failing any classes. change talk_type +2745 AnnoMi-client_95_29.mp4 That's the right one. sustain talk_type +2746 AnnoMi-client_95_31.mp4 Um, I don't know. I don't know. It's just, um, I'm not sure I can. sustain talk_type +2747 AnnoMi-client_95_33.mp4 Thank you, ma'am, I feel better. change talk_type +2748 AnnoMi-client_95_35.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2749 AnnoMi-client_96_1.mp4 Uh, yeah, sure. Um, I guess, well, my doctor referred me to see you. Um, I guess he has some concerns about, um, my- my pregnancy and- and my baby. So, um, yeah, well, I'm doing what I'm told. neutral talk_type +2750 AnnoMi-client_96_3.mp4 Uh, yeah, he is concerned about my alcohol intake. neutral talk_type +2751 AnnoMi-client_96_5.mp4 Uh, no. sustain talk_type +2752 AnnoMi-client_96_7.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2753 AnnoMi-client_96_9.mp4 Um, okay. Uh, well, I guess I drink like a glass of wine at supper every night, and just to, you know, relax a little with my friends if I go out. So wine has always been a kind of a family tradition with supper. So- sustain talk_type +2754 AnnoMi-client_96_11.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2755 AnnoMi-client_96_13.mp4 Yeah, and I, you know, I-I have friends who have drank during pregnancy, and-and I see articles on Facebook and-and, you know, things that show that there isn't really a clear link between, you know, abnormalities or, uh, yeah, I just- I just think it's kind of an old wives' tale. So, you know, I'm independent and I'm gonna- I'm gonna do what I want, it's my body. sustain talk_type +2756 AnnoMi-client_96_15.mp4 Yeah. You know, I've looked it up to see, you know, kinda what I can say back, you know, to support my argument. sustain talk_type +2757 AnnoMi-client_96_17.mp4 Yeah, which is that, um, I'm going to do what I- do what I wanna do and what I know, right? So it's- yeah. I don't know, but, um, I'm here anyway. So- sustain talk_type +2758 AnnoMi-client_96_19.mp4 Nope. I never have been. sustain talk_type +2759 AnnoMi-client_96_21.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +2760 AnnoMi-client_96_23.mp4 Mm-hmm. I think so. neutral talk_type +2761 AnnoMi-client_96_25.mp4 Yeah. I mean, you know- neutral talk_type +2762 AnnoMi-client_96_27.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2763 AnnoMi-client_96_29.mp4 Like right now? neutral talk_type +2764 AnnoMi-client_96_31.mp4 Uh- neutral talk_type +2765 AnnoMi-client_96_33.mp4 Uh, yeah, I guess. neutral talk_type +2766 AnnoMi-client_96_35.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +2767 AnnoMi-client_96_37.mp4 Well, you know, I've-I've heard these kinds of things before, but I just- I don't see the evidence. I don't see the risk, you know, I don't, you know, if someone can like prove to me, or show a direct link or something like that. sustain talk_type +2768 AnnoMi-client_96_39.mp4 It's the same thing. sustain talk_type +2769 AnnoMi-client_96_41.mp4 Yeah. It's just a fancy little brochure saying what I've already known, I've already heard. neutral talk_type +2770 AnnoMi-client_96_43.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2771 AnnoMi-client_96_45.mp4 Um, well, I've looked up, um, different articles. Um, and I- as I said, I personally know people who haven't had any problems. Um, so that's about the extent. sustain talk_type +2772 AnnoMi-client_96_47.mp4 Like, uh, I don't like- have like a bibliography or anything. neutral talk_type +2773 AnnoMi-client_96_49.mp4 So I can't really- I don't really know when those were published. It's just stuff I've found, supporting the way that I look at it. neutral talk_type +2774 AnnoMi-client_96_51.mp4 Yeah. Well, it's like all this brochure is saying is that, um, the same again, the same thing that I've heard, that the limits and that there is no safe amount of drink during pregnancy, but it's like, why not? neutral talk_type +2775 AnnoMi-client_96_53.mp4 "You know, it's kind of like the ""why"" that it's like- " neutral talk_type +2776 AnnoMi-client_96_55.mp4 -I never get that information. neutral talk_type +2777 AnnoMi-client_96_57.mp4 Yeah, like what kind of issues would that cause if any? neutral talk_type +2778 AnnoMi-client_96_59.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2779 AnnoMi-client_96_61.mp4 Yep. neutral talk_type +2780 AnnoMi-client_96_63.mp4 Um, well, it's-it's really important to me. That's a big priority of mine is to have a healthy baby and bring him or her up well and-and, you know, be a good parent. neutral talk_type +2781 AnnoMi-client_96_65.mp4 Um, not-not like being there at home with them, not being absent, um, taking care of them, feeding them, um, changing their diaper, which I'm not excited about. Um, you know, kind of the- those basics. neutral talk_type +2782 AnnoMi-client_96_67.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2783 AnnoMi-client_96_69.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2784 AnnoMi-client_96_71.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2785 AnnoMi-client_96_73.mp4 Yeah, of course. neutral talk_type +2786 AnnoMi-client_96_75.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +2787 AnnoMi-client_96_77.mp4 Um, well, I just don't know- I just don't know where-where these brochures get their information or-or anything from, like, where's the hard evidence essentially. neutral talk_type +2788 AnnoMi-client_96_79.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2789 AnnoMi-client_96_81.mp4 Um, well, it surprises me that that's based on research from out of 2011, um, and I must have missed that. I guess, you know, if it is, um, you know, I do wanna do what's best for my baby and for myself. And if I have to quit drinking, um, I guess ultimately I have to-I make that decision, um, but, um, that's a lot of, uh, information to take in today. change talk_type +2790 AnnoMi-client_96_83.mp4 Nope. neutral talk_type +2791 AnnoMi-client_96_85.mp4 Um, well, first things first, if I could take a brochure home maybe, um, you know, show it to my partner and-and-and get-get their support, um, I think that's really gonna help me, and kind of changing our-our habits, or, you know, putting the alcohol away, out of sight. Um, I think that's probably the best thing I can do, like, today when I get home. change talk_type +2792 AnnoMi-client_96_87.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2793 AnnoMi-client_96_89.mp4 Yeah, I think that- I think that would be a good idea, and maybe you could help me, yeah, with, like, ways to approach it because I think that my partner kind of has the same view that I- that I had. So- change talk_type +2794 AnnoMi-client_96_91.mp4 Yeah. Thank you. neutral talk_type +2795 AnnoMi-client_97_1.mp4 Good. neutral talk_type +2796 AnnoMi-client_97_3.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2797 AnnoMi-client_97_5.mp4 What? neutral talk_type +2798 AnnoMi-client_97_7.mp4 You are joking, aren't you? I mean, look, I've made time in my day to come here. sustain talk_type +2799 AnnoMi-client_97_9.mp4 I'm kept in your waiting room- neutral talk_type +2800 AnnoMi-client_97_11.mp4 -for 45 minutes. neutral talk_type +2801 AnnoMi-client_97_13.mp4 It's not acceptable. neutral talk_type +2802 AnnoMi-client_97_15.mp4 You know? neutral talk_type +2803 AnnoMi-client_97_17.mp4 If I make an appointment with a client for 10:00- neutral talk_type +2804 AnnoMi-client_97_19.mp4 -I expect them to start at 10:00, not 10:45. neutral talk_type +2805 AnnoMi-client_97_21.mp4 Yeah, I've got other things to do. I've got accounts to do. neutral talk_type +2806 AnnoMi-client_97_23.mp4 I've got clients they're coming in. neutral talk_type +2807 AnnoMi-client_97_25.mp4 You know? neutral talk_type +2808 AnnoMi-client_97_27.mp4 Yeah, I mean, okay, fair enough, um, I've got to have my blood pressure- neutral talk_type +2809 AnnoMi-client_97_29.mp4 -medication changed, but I really haven't got time to talk about my weight. I mean, you know, I'm aware of my weight. neutral talk_type +2810 AnnoMi-client_97_31.mp4 I'm aware of the problems, and I'm also aware of the solutions. neutral talk_type +2811 AnnoMi-client_97_33.mp4 Um, so I don't really need a discussion, it's- it's just I've got too much to do at the moment, you know? neutral talk_type +2812 AnnoMi-client_97_35.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2813 AnnoMi-client_97_37.mp4 Well, it's b- it's bad form, you know? neutral talk_type +2814 AnnoMi-client_97_39.mp4 Yeah, but basically I've got things to do. neutral talk_type +2815 AnnoMi-client_97_41.mp4 I gotta get back to the office. neutral talk_type +2816 AnnoMi-client_97_43.mp4 I've got a pile of work- neutral talk_type +2817 AnnoMi-client_97_47.mp4 And every time- every moment out of my day- neutral talk_type +2818 AnnoMi-client_97_49.mp4 -means that I have to work in the evening- neutral talk_type +2819 AnnoMi-client_97_51.mp4 -or the weekends. neutral talk_type +2820 AnnoMi-client_97_53.mp4 Well, when you're self-employed, you haven't got a choice, you know? neutral talk_type +2821 AnnoMi-client_97_55.mp4 Well, I'm here now, so yeah, okay, if it's a couple of minutes, yeah? neutral talk_type +2822 AnnoMi-client_97_57.mp4 Okay, because I really must get on. neutral talk_type +2823 AnnoMi-client_97_59.mp4 About what-what, losing weight? Well, obviously, I-I want to. change talk_type +2824 AnnoMi-client_97_61.mp4 Um, yeah, I mean, who doesn't? I mean, I'm aware that I'm over my, uh, uh, b-b-b-balance weight, but I now know that it's causing problems. I mean, obviously, I get out of breath if I have to do something a bit howering, and I realize that I'm on this blood pressure- change talk_type +2825 AnnoMi-client_97_63.mp4 -um, and-and maybe that's probably contributing to it. change talk_type +2826 AnnoMi-client_97_65.mp4 Yeah, I mean, there are rather other things, but I mean, yeah, the weight is a- is a- is a- something I would like to get hold off. You get on [inaudible 00:03:17] change talk_type +2827 AnnoMi-client_97_67.mp4 "Yeah, I mean, I know, um, th- the theories of bit of exercise on a regular basis, um, a balanced diet. Um, but unfortunately, because of my lifestyle, because of being self-employed as an accountant, it's finding the time, uh, to exercise, but also, finding the time to sort of think, ""Okay, I'm gonna go shopping for this, that, and the other""- " neutral talk_type +2828 AnnoMi-client_97_69.mp4 "-""I'm gonna prepare a meal."" " change talk_type +2829 AnnoMi-client_97_71.mp4 With me, it's very often— neutral talk_type +2830 AnnoMi-client_97_73.mp4 Yeah, yeah. Food on the run, you know? neutral talk_type +2831 AnnoMi-client_97_75.mp4 Grazing. neutral talk_type +2832 AnnoMi-client_97_77.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2833 AnnoMi-client_97_79.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2834 AnnoMi-client_97_81.mp4 Yeah, I mean, I, to a certain extent, because of my lifestyle, food is just fuel. neutral talk_type +2835 AnnoMi-client_97_83.mp4 You know? Um, because I'm juggling all these balls, and I don't want to drop any. neutral talk_type +2836 AnnoMi-client_97_85.mp4 No. neutral talk_type +2837 AnnoMi-client_97_87.mp4 Um, okay, I'm up for that, but it's gonna be the same problem of, A, finding time- neutral talk_type +2838 AnnoMi-client_97_89.mp4 -and B, if I can make an appointment- neutral talk_type +2839 AnnoMi-client_97_91.mp4 -I don't expect to be kept waiting for half an hour- neutral talk_type +2840 AnnoMi-client_97_93.mp4 -or whatever, 'cause it's— neutral talk_type +2841 AnnoMi-client_97_95.mp4 That'd be good. neutral talk_type +2842 AnnoMi-client_97_97.mp4 I'll maybe have a look at my schedule, see whether anything- neutral talk_type +2843 AnnoMi-client_97_99.mp4 -can be arranged, or I can pass something on- neutral talk_type +2844 AnnoMi-client_97_101.mp4 -to something on to some-- and-and so it's not a wasted interview. So I can come here and say, okay, I've looked at my schedules, I've looked at things- neutral talk_type +2845 AnnoMi-client_97_103.mp4 -whatever. neutral talk_type +2846 AnnoMi-client_97_105.mp4 Yeah, of course. neutral talk_type +2847 AnnoMi-client_97_107.mp4 Okay, thanks. Sorry, I went off a bit. neutral talk_type +2848 AnnoMi-client_98_1.mp4 Hi, Kathy, nice to meet you. neutral talk_type +2849 AnnoMi-client_98_3.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2850 AnnoMi-client_98_5.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +2851 AnnoMi-client_98_7.mp4 Absolutely. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2852 AnnoMi-client_98_9.mp4 Yeah. I got a DUI, and I was speeding, uh, during the DUI, obviously. neutral talk_type +2853 AnnoMi-client_98_11.mp4 No, I'm fine. Yeah neutral talk_type +2854 AnnoMi-client_98_13.mp4 The night of the-the DUI is the last time I drank. neutral talk_type +2855 AnnoMi-client_98_15.mp4 And then, you know, um, I guess I'm here 'cause my lawyer wants me to go through an assessment- sustain talk_type +2856 AnnoMi-client_98_17.mp4 -uh, with you, and, um, I'm really not sure what it means or anything like that, but, uh, he said I'm supposed to come here and, uh, just tell the truth, is what he told me. neutral talk_type +2857 AnnoMi-client_98_19.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2858 AnnoMi-client_98_21.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2859 AnnoMi-client_98_23.mp4 Is it bad, or is it high or? neutral talk_type +2860 AnnoMi-client_98_25.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +2861 AnnoMi-client_98_27.mp4 Okay neutral talk_type +2862 AnnoMi-client_98_29.mp4 Yeah. He was, well, freaking out. He was-- neutral talk_type +2863 AnnoMi-client_98_31.mp4 I think he was getting a little over the top a little bit, but, you know, again, whatever. neutral talk_type +2864 AnnoMi-client_98_33.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +2865 AnnoMi-client_98_35.mp4 Uh, my friend was having a, um- a get together as it was birthday party in, uh, downtown, and, uh, you know, it's not like it's a normal thing, but, uh, I did drink too much that night. You know, I just, uh-- And I used poor judgment. I shouldn't have driven that night. neutral talk_type +2866 AnnoMi-client_98_37.mp4 Um, I don't really remember. I know, uh, I dunno, I probably had five or six drinks, I would think, something like that. neutral talk_type +2867 AnnoMi-client_98_39.mp4 Um, yeah, they were a little bigger than that. I don't really-- I wasn't really counting, so, I don't really know. neutral talk_type +2868 AnnoMi-client_98_41.mp4 Five or six, something like that. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2869 AnnoMi-client_98_43.mp4 Um, absolute vodka- neutral talk_type +2870 AnnoMi-client_98_45.mp4 -and seven off. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2871 AnnoMi-client_98_47.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2872 AnnoMi-client_98_49.mp4 Normally I drink one or two, and that's kind of it, you know, this one I did, uh- you know, I did feel a little drunk when I was- you know, when I was drinking, I just, uh, used poor judgment. I really shouldn't have drove. neutral talk_type +2873 AnnoMi-client_98_51.mp4 Um, sometimes I drink, um, you know, maybe one or two, and then I- and then I won't drink for a while, you know. So, it's not really a-- There's not really a pattern- sustain talk_type +2874 AnnoMi-client_98_53.mp4 -you know, it's not really like a uh- it's not a habit, you know, sustain talk_type +2875 AnnoMi-client_98_55.mp4 I-I don't know if I would consider myself alcoholic. You know, I just, uh, um, you know, again, it was poor judgment. sustain talk_type +2876 AnnoMi-client_98_57.mp4 Oh, no. neutral talk_type +2877 AnnoMi-client_98_59.mp4 Absolutely not. Mm-mm. sustain talk_type +2878 AnnoMi-client_98_61.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2879 AnnoMi-client_98_63.mp4 Um, there was really not a time that I, uh-- I don't know. I-I don't understand the question really. I mean, it-- There really wasn't-- I don't really drink on a normal basis, so, I don't know-- [crosstalk] sustain talk_type +2880 AnnoMi-client_98_65.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2881 AnnoMi-client_98_67.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2882 AnnoMi-client_98_69.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2883 AnnoMi-client_98_71.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2884 AnnoMi-client_98_73.mp4 It seems like every time that I, uh, do drink more than a couple of drinks, I tend to get in trouble. And, the two times that I did, I got in trouble both times. [crosstalk] neutral talk_type +2885 AnnoMi-client_98_75.mp4 Yeah, pretty much. I mean, it's-- It sounds strange, I know, but, uh-- neutral talk_type +2886 AnnoMi-client_98_77.mp4 Yeah. Actually, that-that's followed me around pretty much my whole life, the bad luck thing. neutral talk_type +2887 AnnoMi-client_98_79.mp4 But the-the-the-the-the alcohol hasn't really at all. sustain talk_type +2888 AnnoMi-client_98_81.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2889 AnnoMi-client_98_83.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2890 AnnoMi-client_98_85.mp4 Sure seems like it. Yeah. It sure seems like that. neutral talk_type +2891 AnnoMi-client_98_87.mp4 Um, you know, I don't really, um-- I-I don't really, uh, get into a situation where I-I-I drink too much. Um, you know, again, I-I realize it's my second DUI, but,, um, uh-uh, it isn't something that, um, is like a normal everyday process for me. sustain talk_type +2892 AnnoMi-client_98_89.mp4 Um, you know, normally when I drink, I drink one or two drinks and then I stop. Um, so, it's not like it's, um-- You know, it's not like it's something that has become a problem in my life, you know. sustain talk_type +2893 AnnoMi-client_98_91.mp4 Um, it's normally social. neutral talk_type +2894 AnnoMi-client_98_93.mp4 Yeah. It's normally social. It would be, you know, maybe in events or something like that is normally when I would, um, maybe drink more than one or two. neutral talk_type +2895 AnnoMi-client_98_95.mp4 I guess I should probably just call a taxi cab or something, you know. That way, I wouldn't have this problem. change talk_type +2896 AnnoMi-client_98_97.mp4 Um, probably, I think that would help. I think that would be something that I should, uh- I should work on. change talk_type +2897 AnnoMi-client_98_99.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, or I can just stay home probably too. If I was gonna drink, I could probably stay home, then I wouldn't get in trouble either. change talk_type +2898 AnnoMi-client_98_101.mp4 Yeah, a little bit. neutral talk_type +2899 AnnoMi-client_98_103.mp4 Yeah, obviously, because I just don't-- You know, I don't like getting in trouble, and I don't, uh-- change talk_type +2900 AnnoMi-client_98_105.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2901 AnnoMi-client_98_107.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2902 AnnoMi-client_98_109.mp4 Um, oh, I'll never get in the car when I'm drinking again. That-- Yeah. I-I would never do that again. change talk_type +2903 AnnoMi-client_98_111.mp4 Uh, I don't want to lose my license, you know. change talk_type +2904 AnnoMi-client_98_113.mp4 I don't, uh, you know, I don't wanna lose my license. change talk_type +2905 AnnoMi-client_98_115.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2906 AnnoMi-client_98_117.mp4 Well, and then I-I sell cars for a living too, so-- neutral talk_type +2907 AnnoMi-client_98_119.mp4 -um, you know, that would be, um-- You know, I don't wanna lose my job either. You know, I think those would kind of be connected together. change talk_type +2908 AnnoMi-client_98_121.mp4 And, you know, I-- You're not gonna call my work or anything for this, are you? neutral talk_type +2909 AnnoMi-client_98_123.mp4 Oh, okay. neutral talk_type +2910 AnnoMi-client_98_125.mp4 All right. neutral talk_type +2911 AnnoMi-client_98_127.mp4 Okay. I just didn't know how that worked. neutral talk_type +2912 AnnoMi-client_98_129.mp4 Because I think if they found out, I might, you know, be in jeopardy with my job. So-- neutral talk_type +2913 AnnoMi-client_98_131.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2914 AnnoMi-client_98_133.mp4 Well, you know, the Super Bowl is coming up, and that might be an opportunity where, you know, I might-- I could see myself maybe drinking that day, you know. neutral talk_type +2915 AnnoMi-client_98_135.mp4 So, maybe I would just, uh-- I think I'll just have people come over to my house instead of going somewhere else, you know. change talk_type +2916 AnnoMi-client_98_137.mp4 Yeah, I think so, and probably a smarter thing to do. I don't wanna go through this again, you know. change talk_type +2917 AnnoMi-client_98_139.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2918 AnnoMi-client_98_141.mp4 I think so. neutral talk_type +2919 AnnoMi-client_98_143.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +2920 AnnoMi-client_98_145.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2921 AnnoMi-client_98_147.mp4 There you go. neutral talk_type +2922 AnnoMi-client_98_149.mp4 For my first DUI, I did, uh-- I didn't drink at all for about six months. And, um, I-I-I just didn't think that, um, I really had a problem with it, so, you know, I-I did start drinking again. But, you know, again, it wasn't uh-- You know, it was a little different last time, because I was drinking a little more last time than, you know, now. I don't really drink as-as much as I used to drink, you know, um, and, you know, after you know, I quit for six months, so I kind of knew that I didn't really have a problem. sustain talk_type +2923 AnnoMi-client_98_151.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2924 AnnoMi-client_98_153.mp4 Um, I know it was kind of strange. My friends didn't really hang out with me too much. Um-- neutral talk_type +2925 AnnoMi-client_98_155.mp4 Yeah. You know, I, uh. neutral talk_type +2926 AnnoMi-client_98_157.mp4 No, my friends. neutral talk_type +2927 AnnoMi-client_98_159.mp4 Just my social circle, I guess, uh-- neutral talk_type +2928 AnnoMi-client_98_161.mp4 Probably 'cause I didn't- I wasn't drinking with them, I guess. I don't really know. I mean, it seemed, uh-- neutral talk_type +2929 AnnoMi-client_98_163.mp4 Um, no. I really couldn't because my girlfriend really wouldn't let me hang with them. You know? I mean, it was, uh-- She said that if I, you know, kept hanging out with them guys, that she wasn't gonna be with me anymore. And I just thought that it was better for me to, you know, calm down for a little bit and, uh, maybe things would get better with us, you know. neutral talk_type +2930 AnnoMi-client_98_165.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +2931 AnnoMi-client_98_167.mp4 Well, it was until she left, you know. neutral talk_type +2932 AnnoMi-client_98_169.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2933 AnnoMi-client_98_171.mp4 Uh, she left when I started drinking again. neutral talk_type +2934 AnnoMi-client_98_173.mp4 After the six months, she, uh-- You know, it's kinda, I dunno, she just said that it wasn't gonna work out, and, uh, she decided not to continue with the relationship. neutral talk_type +2935 AnnoMi-client_98_175.mp4 Uh, it was about the same time. I really don't know which came first. It was about the same time. Uh, we were getting in a lot of arguments. I just didn't quite feel myself. You know, I-I-I wasn't-- My friends weren't around. I, uh-- You know, I missed going out with them. neutral talk_type +2936 AnnoMi-client_98_177.mp4 Yeah. It was kind of weird 'cause I felt like she was trying to control me, and, uh- and uh, you know, I, uh-- And she was telling me what to do all the time, and I just, uh, didn't feel right about the whole situation. So, it was pretty much, we both decided, you know, that it just wasn't the right thing to do, so. neutral talk_type +2937 AnnoMi-client_98_179.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +2938 AnnoMi-client_98_181.mp4 Well, I guess. Sure. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2939 AnnoMi-client_98_183.mp4 [clear throat] Well, let's see. The first one was, uh, three years ago, and then, um, this one was a few weeks ago, so, um, it's been a few years, you know. neutral talk_type +2940 AnnoMi-client_98_185.mp4 Yeah. It's been a few years neutral talk_type +2941 AnnoMi-client_98_187.mp4 I don't really know that I can really compare good or bad. I just, uh-- You know, I just drink to be social, you know, I don't know that it really changes anything about me. It just, uh-- You know, I just drink to be social, you know. sustain talk_type +2942 AnnoMi-client_98_189.mp4 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. As soon as my girlfriend left, I could go out with them again, you know. [laughter] neutral talk_type +2943 AnnoMi-client_98_191.mp4 Well, she didn't want me going out with them. neutral talk_type +2944 AnnoMi-client_98_193.mp4 She thought that they really-- neutral talk_type +2945 AnnoMi-client_98_195.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2946 AnnoMi-client_98_197.mp4 She blamed the first DUI on them. She said, you know, because I was out with them, that it was pretty much, you know, they-they made me drink too much that night. neutral talk_type +2947 AnnoMi-client_98_199.mp4 I think she was right on that. Yeah, absolutely. neutral talk_type +2948 AnnoMi-client_98_201.mp4 I mean, if they wouldn't have gave me those shots, you know, towards the end of the night, I would've been all right. You know, I could have drove, and I wouldn't have, uh- I wouldn't have hit that mailbox. neutral talk_type +2949 AnnoMi-client_98_203.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2950 AnnoMi-client_98_205.mp4 That was-- neutral talk_type +2951 AnnoMi-client_98_207.mp4 Yeah. I was on-- It was like I was a couple of blocks away from the house and I, uh, rolled up on the neighbor's lawn and I took out their mailbox. neutral talk_type +2952 AnnoMi-client_98_209.mp4 I don't really remember too much of that night. neutral talk_type +2953 AnnoMi-client_98_211.mp4 Uh, I don't know if I was blacked out, but I just don't remember a lot of it. neutral talk_type +2954 AnnoMi-client_98_213.mp4 I wouldn't really call it a blackout. I just don't really- neutral talk_type +2955 AnnoMi-client_98_215.mp4 -remember how that happened. neutral talk_type +2956 AnnoMi-client_98_217.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2957 AnnoMi-client_98_219.mp4 Yeah. Yeah. It's all right. neutral talk_type +2958 AnnoMi-client_98_221.mp4 Yeah, Mary-Mary, just [crosstalk] Well, after-after I got the-the-- After I hit the mailbox- neutral talk_type +2959 AnnoMi-client_98_223.mp4 -um, I stopped drinking for, you know, like about six months, and, uh, you know, and we were trying to work things out, but it just didn't- neutral talk_type +2960 AnnoMi-client_98_225.mp4 -it just didn't work. neutral talk_type +2961 AnnoMi-client_98_227.mp4 I think she became a little too possessive at that point. neutral talk_type +2962 AnnoMi-client_98_229.mp4 Um, I think she just wanted to control me and I was tired of being controlled. neutral talk_type +2963 AnnoMi-client_98_231.mp4 No, I was-- They just-- No, they weren't- they weren't really controlling me. They just-- They shouldn't have given me the last couple shots, 'cause you, they-they knew I was pretty, you know, uh, messed up before that. So- neutral talk_type +2964 AnnoMi-client_98_233.mp4 -you know, that when they- when they-- You know, when they gave me the last, you know, couple shots, that kind of put me over the edge. neutral talk_type +2965 AnnoMi-client_98_235.mp4 Pretty much, pretty much. neutral talk_type +2966 AnnoMi-client_98_237.mp4 Yeah. I mean I guess it was my decision to take the, uh- you know, the other shots, but I-I just-- I don't know. I really don't really remember too much. neutral talk_type +2967 AnnoMi-client_98_239.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2968 AnnoMi-client_98_241.mp4 Yeah. You can blame hindsight a little bit. I mean, that works for me. [laughter] neutral talk_type +2969 AnnoMi-client_98_243.mp4 Yeah. [crosstalk] neutral talk_type +2970 AnnoMi-client_98_245.mp4 I mean, they've been my friends since, you know, uh, since high school. neutral talk_type +2971 AnnoMi-client_98_247.mp4 Yeah, absolutely. neutral talk_type +2972 AnnoMi-client_98_249.mp4 Sure, absolutely. neutral talk_type +2973 AnnoMi-client_98_251.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2974 AnnoMi-client_98_253.mp4 Uh, well, like I'll do stuff around the house, you know, uh, cut the grass and stop, do yard work, other than that, um, I don't know. neutral talk_type +2975 AnnoMi-client_98_255.mp4 Uh, no, I'm single now, so, you know, I don't really, uh-- [crosstalk] neutral talk_type +2976 AnnoMi-client_98_257.mp4 It's all right, you know, I date a little bit but, uh, you know, I just don't wanna get serious right now. neutral talk_type +2977 AnnoMi-client_98_259.mp4 Um, I just don't want to date someone in a regular basis. I don't really feel like I want to be in a committed relationship. neutral talk_type +2978 AnnoMi-client_98_261.mp4 Sure, absolutely. neutral talk_type +2979 AnnoMi-client_98_263.mp4 Well, I think I would like really think about-- neutral talk_type +2980 AnnoMi-client_98_265.mp4 Yeah. Well, I mean I-I, uh- I, uh- I wouldn't drink as much, and if I- if I did, I would call, uh, a taxi or, um, you know, get some kind of a ride home, I think, 'cause, uh, you know, I just, uh-- I-I just don't wanna get in trouble, you know. change talk_type +2981 AnnoMi-client_98_267.mp4 Uh, I don't really think about that. I guess I would have to think about that, because if I was gonna go out and drink, I would have to think about that. Yeah. neutral talk_type +2982 AnnoMi-client_98_269.mp4 I guess I could call it taxi cab or something, I don't know. change talk_type +2983 AnnoMi-client_98_271.mp4 Yeah. I think that will be something. change talk_type +2984 AnnoMi-client_98_273.mp4 Yeah. I think maybe if I take some money, I'll put it like in my wallet- change talk_type +2985 AnnoMi-client_98_275.mp4 -and I'll like put it in there for emergency, and that way, I'll have money. In case I get drunk, I can just call a cab, and I'll use that money to get home. change talk_type +2986 AnnoMi-client_98_277.mp4 What's that? neutral talk_type +2987 AnnoMi-client_98_279.mp4 Probably in my front pocket, I guess. neutral talk_type +2988 AnnoMi-client_98_281.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2989 AnnoMi-client_98_283.mp4 Yeah. Well, if I put, uh- if I put it away, then I wouldn't spend it though, you know, [unintelligible 00:18:48] have it. neutral talk_type +2990 AnnoMi-client_98_285.mp4 There-there would be a plan that I would have to- change talk_type +2991 AnnoMi-client_98_287.mp4 -to get home. Yeah. change talk_type +2992 AnnoMi-client_98_289.mp4 It'd probably be my wallet for a while, I would think, 'cause I-- Like I said, I don't really think I have a problem with, uh- with the drinking, you know. I just- sustain talk_type +2993 AnnoMi-client_98_291.mp4 -think that, you know, it was an isolated incident. sustain talk_type +2994 AnnoMi-client_98_293.mp4 And-and I, uh-- You know, I just, uh-- neutral talk_type +2995 AnnoMi-client_98_295.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +2996 AnnoMi-client_98_297.mp4 Yeah, well, you gotta have some people over at the Super Bowl, you know. neutral talk_type +2997 AnnoMi-client_98_299.mp4 I don't really hang out with people that really drink a lot though. I mean, they're-they're not like-- I wouldn't call them drunks, so, I mean, they can, you know, they can handle their-- [crosstalk] neutral talk_type +2998 AnnoMi-client_98_301.mp4 Sure, I would think, yeah. neutral talk_type +2999 AnnoMi-client_98_303.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +3000 AnnoMi-client_98_305.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +3001 AnnoMi-client_98_307.mp4 You know, it was a- it was, uh- it was pretty good. I just didn't feel like I had my friends around, and-and it just-- It seemed kinda boring. I mean, I felt good physically and, uh, you know, I, uh- I was more on time to work, I was doing really good at work and so forth, um, but, you know, it just, um-- The hard part for me was I just, uh- I just didn't have any friends around. I just kinda-- I felt isolated. I just didn't- I just didn't feel comfortable, you know. sustain talk_type +3002 AnnoMi-client_98_309.mp4 Well, my-my girl- my girlfriend and I were trying to work it out. But it just seemed like we were arguing all the time, you know. It just didn't seem like-- You know what I mean? Like the not-drinking part was good, but it just didn't seem like anything else had changed. neutral talk_type +3003 AnnoMi-client_98_311.mp4 You know. neutral talk_type +3004 AnnoMi-client_98_313.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +3005 AnnoMi-client_98_315.mp4 No- neutral talk_type +3006 AnnoMi-client_98_317.mp4 -and I really don't see that working out really well. sustain talk_type +3007 AnnoMi-client_98_319.mp4 Well, I don't know. I mean, it's a-- I mean, my friends drink though. So, it's kinda hard to- it's kinda hard to, you know, to be with them, and then-- When I'm not drinking, 'cause it's-- I just don't feel like I fit in, you know. sustain talk_type +3008 AnnoMi-client_98_321.mp4 Yeah, they don't drink that much, but they-they seem to-- You know, like they do drink though, you know. neutral talk_type +3009 AnnoMi-client_98_323.mp4 I mean, it's just beer. You know- neutral talk_type +3010 AnnoMi-client_98_325.mp4 -it's not like they're drinking whiskey or anything like that. It's-- neutral talk_type +3011 AnnoMi-client_98_327.mp4 You know, but, they'll drink beer, and it's just-- You know, for me, I don't know. Sometimes, uh, I don't-- You know, I have an intention to have a couple of drinks and maybe I'll have, you know, more than a couple, you know- neutral talk_type +3012 AnnoMi-client_98_329.mp4 -and then I don't know what really makes a-a legal limit. So, I think I can drink what? Like two or three drinks an hour, is that what it is? neutral talk_type +3013 AnnoMi-client_98_331.mp4 One drink per hour, okay. neutral talk_type +3014 AnnoMi-client_98_333.mp4 I'll have to remember that. [laughing] neutral talk_type +3015 AnnoMi-client_98_335.mp4 Yeah, One shot. neutral talk_type +3016 AnnoMi-client_98_337.mp4 Okay. neutral talk_type +3017 AnnoMi-client_98_339.mp4 Just one though? neutral talk_type +3018 AnnoMi-client_98_341.mp4 That's it. neutral talk_type +3019 AnnoMi-client_98_343.mp4 Yeah, I guess. I-I think I probably know a couple of friends that don't drink and I don't really, uh, probably-- neutral talk_type +3020 AnnoMi-client_98_345.mp4 I'd have to really think about it. I don't really have too many good friends. You know, I have some acquaintances that don't drink but- neutral talk_type +3021 AnnoMi-client_98_347.mp4 -pretty much everyone I know like drinks. neutral talk_type +3022 AnnoMi-client_98_349.mp4 Yeah, I, uh-- neutral talk_type +3023 AnnoMi-client_98_351.mp4 I don't know. Just, it's weird, I-I think that, you know, kinda when I go there, you know, and-and hang with them at all, it's, uh-- You know, we- you know- sustain talk_type +3024 AnnoMi-client_98_353.mp4 Yeah. Yeah, exactly. neutral talk_type +3025 AnnoMi-client_98_355.mp4 Well, 'cause they're drinking and then- and if I'm drinking soda, they kind of mess with me a little bit. sustain talk_type +3026 AnnoMi-client_98_357.mp4 Well, they just mess with me until I get-- You know, until I drink a beer with them, you know. So-- neutral talk_type +3027 AnnoMi-client_98_359.mp4 You know, I mean, just- neutral talk_type +3028 AnnoMi-client_98_361.mp4 -they're just kinda like egging me on, I don't know. neutral talk_type +3029 AnnoMi-client_98_363.mp4 You know, I really don't feel like being an outcast, you know what I mean, they're my friends, you know. I-- sustain talk_type +3030 AnnoMi-client_98_365.mp4 I've been with them since, you know, like high school. So, I can't. sustain talk_type +3031 AnnoMi-client_98_367.mp4 They mean a lot to me. sustain talk_type +3032 AnnoMi-client_98_369.mp4 I guess maybe it would probably be not a bad idea to not hang with them for a little bit, I guess. You know, I mean, I-I-I-- Yeah. change talk_type +3033 AnnoMi-client_98_371.mp4 Yeah, sure. I gu- I think that would be something I could probably try. change talk_type +3034 AnnoMi-client_98_373.mp4 Well, if I need to get my license back, I think it would be pretty important for me to stop hanging around with them for a while, you know. change talk_type +3035 AnnoMi-client_98_375.mp4 Yeah, absolutely. change talk_type +3036 AnnoMi-client_98_377.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +3037 AnnoMi-client_98_379.mp4 Yeah, yeah. neutral talk_type +3038 AnnoMi-client_98_381.mp4 I think that would be a good idea. Uh, is this gonna help like get my license back, like, at this-- Like, the-the plans that I've made, is that gonna really help me like-- neutral talk_type +3039 AnnoMi-client_98_383.mp4 Okay, good. neutral talk_type +3040 AnnoMi-client_98_384.mp4 -about the plans that you're striving for. Um, that I-- There would be, um, uh, someone to read this assessment-Mm. neutral talk_type +3041 AnnoMi-client_98_386.mp4 Um, probably just not really drink as much. I mean, if I just didn't drink, I wouldn't have to really worry about that too much either. change talk_type +3042 AnnoMi-client_98_388.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +3043 AnnoMi-client_98_390.mp4 Yeah. This is true. Yeah. neutral talk_type +3044 AnnoMi-client_98_392.mp4 Okay. Thank you. neutral talk_type +3045 AnnoMi-client_99_1.mp4 Okay, like what? neutral talk_type +3046 AnnoMi-client_99_3.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +3047 AnnoMi-client_99_5.mp4 Yeah, uh, on the weekends? neutral talk_type +3048 AnnoMi-client_99_7.mp4 No, I guess I haven't really thought much of it. Um, you know, I don't really think I drink that much in the first place- sustain talk_type +3049 AnnoMi-client_99_9.mp4 -so I have a hard time believing that it's causing my anxiety. sustain talk_type +3050 AnnoMi-client_99_11.mp4 In fact, on the nights when I don't drink, I-I have a harder time going to sleep. sustain talk_type +3051 AnnoMi-client_99_13.mp4 Well, I, yeah, I guess I do have abo-about 2:00 AM, I tend to wake up on the nights I drink too much. change talk_type +3052 AnnoMi-client_99_15.mp4 Jeez, no. I didn't think I was that bad. neutral talk_type +3053 AnnoMi-client_99_17.mp4 I don't know. I mean, this is all news to me. I've, I don't want to do anything to put myself at risk and I've always thought of myself as a pretty healthy guy. I guess I'd put myself right in the middle of the five. change talk_type +3054 AnnoMi-client_99_19.mp4 Well, you know I'm training for the marathon, and that's why I'm coming in, is because I need to be able to get my sleep back on track, but I also don't think of myself as a hazardous drinker, and I'm certainly not an alcoholic. So, that's-that's why the middle-ground, five. change talk_type +3055 AnnoMi-client_99_21.mp4 Yes. neutral talk_type +3056 AnnoMi-client_99_23.mp4 Well, I-I think the natural thing would be to cut back a little on my drinking. change talk_type +3057 AnnoMi-client_99_25.mp4 Mm, um, you know, I-I guess drinking no more than maybe three or four times a week, and-and on the weekends, which is when I would drink the most, cup back to no more than five or six beers. change talk_type +3058 AnnoMi-client_99_27.mp4 Um, doing the math, I guess no more than 18 drinks a week. change talk_type +3059 AnnoMi-client_99_29.mp4 Thanks. neutral talk_type +3060 AnnoMi-client_99_31.mp4 Sure. neutral talk_type +3061 AnnoMi-client_100_1.mp4 I don't know. I'm just having a little bit of, uh, having a little bit of trouble dealing with, uh, my criminal history and, uh, you know, trying to stay on the right path, but, you know, um, it's just- it gets, you know, it gets kind of overwhelming, you know. Um, I really wanna be, you know, a good productive member of society, but at the same time, you know, I got this background that nobody will overlook, you know. So it kinda makes it like, well, what, you know, do I go back to what I know?I mean, you can only work for $5, $6, $7 an hour for so long, and it's really frustrating. It's causing, uh, some anger issues to resurface and some depression to resurface and, um, you know, and, um, I don't wanna fall back, you know. change talk_type +3062 AnnoMi-client_100_3.mp4 Yes, it is. neutral talk_type +3063 AnnoMi-client_100_5.mp4 I don't know what about it is, um— neutral talk_type +3064 AnnoMi-client_100_7.mp4 Yeah. It has a felony conviction on it. neutral talk_type +3065 AnnoMi-client_100_9.mp4 And, uh— neutral talk_type +3066 AnnoMi-client_100_11.mp4 "Yeah, it is. And it's- I hadn't anticipated that it would have been-- You know, so at the time, it was just like, ""Okay, cool. I'm not going to jail."" " neutral talk_type +3067 AnnoMi-client_100_13.mp4 You know, and, um, now, it's like, okay, so this is more like a life sentence than it was a four-year sentence that they were offering. You know, I mean, I think it would have been bad either way, but, um, I hadn't anticipated that this was gonna be this difficult, especially since I went back to school and, you know, uh, got a degree and actually want to do, you know, some, um, corporate level or, you know, professional type of work. sustain talk_type +3068 AnnoMi-client_100_15.mp4 No, I'm not. Um, in situations where I don't know about it, I don't know about, I mean, if I'm not considered because of that, I probably-- Um, you know, that sucks too. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I-I don't- I don't get callbacks a lot because of that issue- neutral talk_type +3069 AnnoMi-client_100_17.mp4 - I'm sure. The ones that really count are-are-are, you know, are kind of just, you know, uh, making me so angry and, you know, kind of spilling over into the rest of my life or the ones that I get face face, especially after a really good interview. And, you know, most of the times, I interview extremely well. And, um, it's, you know, I get the vibe that the job is offered almost halfway through the interview because, you know, they start telling me about what I'll be doing and what I'll be getting.And then, you know, when it comes to sign on the paperwork and I believe in honesty, so I tell them, you know, hey, look, this is what you're gonna find, you know, and, um, try to explain it. It's just-it's almost like night and day. neutral talk_type +3070 AnnoMi-client_100_19.mp4 "Black and white. It just stops right there. ""I'm sorry. I can't really do much for you. I-- You have to go,"" you know, and it's— " neutral talk_type +3071 AnnoMi-client_100_21.mp4 "No. I mean, there's different situations, you know. Sometimes they ask and, you know, I'll say something like, you know, ""We'll discuss at interview"". Uh, sometimes, there are situations where if I probably put that, I don't get a callback and those situations I don't know about. You know, but there are also times where I get an interview through, um, you know, uh, uh, some sort of connection or something, or like a buddy of mine or a family member will send me on an interview. You know, I don't have to fill it out- fill out an application for that. They just usually, you know, give you the interview. And at the end- " neutral talk_type +3072 AnnoMi-client_100_23.mp4 Yeah. It seems like it's a done deal. You just have to go through the motion of having the interview. And then- neutral talk_type +3073 AnnoMi-client_100_25.mp4 "-when I go through the interview and it goes well, and they're like, ""Okay, well, you know, I think we can do something"" and then, ""Here, sign this, sign that,"" and the other thing. And it's like, but we just had a great, you know, I mean, I qualify. Like what does that have to-- Seven years ago, six years ago, what does it have to do with anything? Now, especially because, you know, the type of conviction, it wasn't a non- it wasn't a violent conviction. It's not like I'm a danger to the staff around me. It's not like it's a, you know, a theft type of thing. It was, you know, it was a possession, you know what I mean? " neutral talk_type +3074 AnnoMi-client_100_27.mp4 And neutral talk_type +3075 AnnoMi-client_100_29.mp4 No, I didn't. neutral talk_type +3076 AnnoMi-client_100_31.mp4 It's really frustrating because- neutral talk_type +3077 AnnoMi-client_100_33.mp4 -it's almost like I-I don't wanna give up, but it's like, I'm not given any other choice, you know? sustain talk_type +3078 AnnoMi-client_100_35.mp4 I do, yeah. change talk_type +3079 AnnoMi-client_100_37.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +3080 AnnoMi-client_100_39.mp4 Not that I can think of, no. neutral talk_type +3081 AnnoMi-client_100_41.mp4 I think— neutral talk_type +3082 AnnoMi-client_100_43.mp4 Probably get booted out right away- neutral talk_type +3083 AnnoMi-client_100_45.mp4 -you know? Um— sustain talk_type +3084 AnnoMi-client_100_47.mp4 Well, it's-it's sucks either way. You know what I mean? neutral talk_type +3085 AnnoMi-client_100_49.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +3086 AnnoMi-client_100_50.mp4 -you know what I mean? If it's gonna make things more efficient like as if-if you're what you're trying to say is if that's something that I could do and then if they get past it, then now I know that there's an actual intention by the hiring people to hire me. neutral talk_type +3087 AnnoMi-client_100_52.mp4 Yeah, I think as far as maybe efficiency, you know, weeding out the things, not wasting my time, you know, but I had to tell you something, a lot of the people that don't care about that type of thing- neutral talk_type +3088 AnnoMi-client_100_54.mp4 -are not the sort of jobs that I really wanna be doing. You know what I mean? Um, I don't know, it's just really frustrating. sustain talk_type +3089 AnnoMi-client_100_56.mp4 Be an issue. neutral talk_type +3090 AnnoMi-client_100_58.mp4 Right, and then the other thing is anybody that I might tell that to- neutral talk_type +3091 AnnoMi-client_100_60.mp4 -that doesn't care- neutral talk_type +3092 AnnoMi-client_100_62.mp4 -are probably not jobs that, you know, are worth going to get the interview. neutral talk_type +3093 AnnoMi-client_100_64.mp4 Right. neutral talk_type +3094 AnnoMi-client_100_66.mp4 Do you know what I mean? If I want to work at a moving company and I tell them off the bat, you know, from the gate, I tell them I have a felony conviction, just so you know before the interview and they don't really mind. I mean, that's great, you know, but at the same time, I don't- I'm not looking to be a mover or- neutral talk_type +3095 AnnoMi-client_100_68.mp4 -a burger flipper or something like that. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I feel like I have a little bit more to offer- neutral talk_type +3096 AnnoMi-client_100_70.mp4 -you know, and, um, I don't know, it's a really, it's-it's like being caught between a rock and a hard place. neutral talk_type +3097 AnnoMi-client_100_72.mp4 I have done, and my eyes have, you know, just become like mush after all the reading I've done on this situation. neutral talk_type +3098 AnnoMi-client_100_74.mp4 I found out that I have the type of, um, felony that's expungable, I don't even have the type that's sealable. I have apparently the type that has to go on the governor's desk next to death row, you know, inmates or the candidates for, um, a gov- a governor's, uh, pardon. I-- That's what it all boils down to is that I have a class one felony- neutral talk_type +3099 AnnoMi-client_100_76.mp4 -that needs to be, if any, you know, options, the only option I have is for, um, governor's clemency and I can't figure out why because it's-it's, I mean, I just, I maybe there is a loophole somewhere, I don't know. neutral talk_type +3100 AnnoMi-client_100_78.mp4 I've looked into, um, a fe- um, I've looked into a few groups that are supposedly helping convicted felons get- neutral talk_type +3101 AnnoMi-client_100_80.mp4 -work. neutral talk_type +3102 AnnoMi-client_100_82.mp4 Um, again, the-the only-- I mean, I think what I saw was a whole bunch of, you know, dead end jobs. neutral talk_type +3103 AnnoMi-client_100_84.mp4 And the other thing that I saw was that it was very politically charged. You know, I didn't think that, um, I was, uh, you know, allowed to kind of get an interview right away with one of those counselors that they offer. Um, I-- it just didn't seem like a type of place that was willing to help, you know. And-and, uh, I saw that there was a lot of, um, I wouldn't say racism but I would say a little bit of racial favor, I suppose. And, uh, I found it really hard to get in and to get an interview with a counselor to match me up with a job. Um, I think that those-those types of groups are cool if they work. I just haven't had any luck with, um- at working with- through that group. neutral talk_type +3104 AnnoMi-client_100_86.mp4 You know? neutral talk_type +3105 AnnoMi-client_100_88.mp4 Um, you know, I don't know. I don't know if there's anything else out there. neutral talk_type +3106 AnnoMi-client_100_90.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +3107 AnnoMi-client_100_92.mp4 Mm-hmm. neutral talk_type +3108 AnnoMi-client_100_94.mp4 Right. It's-it's, uh-- There is a lot stacked up against me. neutral talk_type +3109 AnnoMi-client_100_96.mp4 Let's just put it like that. neutral talk_type +3110 AnnoMi-client_100_98.mp4 You know, uh, but that isn't— neutral talk_type +3111 AnnoMi-client_100_100.mp4 Well, that's what-- yeah. That's-- I mean, uh, I'm able to, um-- I'm able to carry a conversation. neutral talk_type +3112 AnnoMi-client_100_102.mp4 So at some point, I would imagine that maybe I strike up conversation with the right person- neutral talk_type +3113 AnnoMi-client_100_104.mp4 -that would probably want to hire me regardless of that sort of thing. Um, I think that at the this point in time, that it doesn't really matter what degree you have. I don't believe that it matters where you went to school. I think it's all about who you know. You know, we live in a very politically charged city. And I think that even if we didn't live in a politically charged city, at this point, jobs are so scarce that people who know people who know people are the ones that are ending up, um, at work- neutral talk_type +3114 AnnoMi-client_100_106.mp4 -and getting jobs. And I think that, um, if I continue to, you know, go to school and, uh, you know, uh, get time from that felony, you know. So it's been seven years now and— change talk_type +3115 AnnoMi-client_100_108.mp4 Yeah. And at some point, I probably don't even have to report it, you know, and I have that going for me. It's been seven years. I have the fact that I'm, you know, uh, good at, um, interaction with people, that's good. neutral talk_type +3116 AnnoMi-client_100_110.mp4 You know, um, I've been clean from that sort of lifestyle for that long so that's-that's-that's up for me, you know, that's-that's good. Um— change talk_type +3117 AnnoMi-client_100_112.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type +3118 AnnoMi-client_100_114.mp4 They don't. neutral talk_type +3119 AnnoMi-client_100_116.mp4 Yeah. Well, that's my hope. neutral talk_type +3120 AnnoMi-client_100_118.mp4 Yeah. That's my hope. neutral talk_type +3121 AnnoMi-client_100_120.mp4 It is. It should be. You know, I-I— neutral talk_type +3122 AnnoMi-client_100_122.mp4 Yeah. neutral talk_type